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Larissa (and Ian) as UpBeat as ever!


salex

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I was reading Larissa's latest entries on Facebook.  They were at some conference in Texas, I gather and met a couple where the wife has TBI and the husband is the caretaker.  It was very exciting, and they spent their time laughing....

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it was the laughter of two women arguing over who’s life sucks more, who has more courage to get out of bed, and who is more dependent on a glass of wine at the end of the day.

God's plan since the beginning of time for you, Larissa, per John Piper....

http://ianandlarissa.com/the-third-wheel/

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That made me think of the gal and her husband, he has a TBI and she, the last time I heard was prego with number 2 even though he wasn't down with number 1 or really even down with anything family wise, what was their blog/name??

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34 minutes ago, Miss M said:

That made me think of the gal and her husband, he has a TBI and she, the last time I heard was prego with number 2 even though he wasn't down with number 1 or really even down with anything family wise, what was their blog/name??

Kathleen and Cale.

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Wow this crazy, I actually followed Jay and Katherine Wolff's previous blogs and stories years ago. I found out about them in 2008 through Facebook. A friend posted their story to a group I was in. I felt bad for them and still do. They are originally from Alabama. Jay's father is a pastor at a mega church there. They moved to California because Katherine wanted a modeling career and Jay was accepted into Pepperdine Law School.  They have a son. When the son was six months old, Katherine suffered a brain aneurysm or stroke. I can't remember all the details. But,  she has had brain surgeries  and her face still paralyzed on one side. She walks with a limp and cane.  She was a in rehab hospital.  The family ran a blog and a CaringBridge site.

 

I go turned off by Jay and Katherine due to an incident on their old blog. Katherine started writing posts after she returned home.  There was a time they flew out somewhere and she talked about how a man at an airport gave them cash. She said something to the effect that the man "was of a certain race that you didn't want to talk to".  I wondered if some one of middle Eastern descent. After that, i stopped checking their blog frequently.  It was more checking it once or twice a month.  They have done speaking gigs at various churches and conferences.  Jay failed the California bar a few times. He did pass,  prior to that he was working at a real estate office. The hopeheals site was launched a year or two ago. It's marketed as a ministry.  The son is 7 or 8 now and they had a second  son last June.

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1 hour ago, Miss M said:

That made me think of the gal and her husband, he has a TBI and she, the last time I heard was prego with number 2 even though he wasn't down with number 1 or really even down with anything family wise, what was their blog/name??

I can't find an update on them since September 15... I didn't know she was pregnant again. 

 

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3 hours ago, salex said:

I can't find an update on them since September 15... I didn't know she was pregnant again. 

 

I don't think she is. I read her blog just before, her last update was Feb 2016) and although she says they would like another one, there's nothing about her being pregnant again. There's also nothing about being pregnant on her Facebook, either. 

I have to say though, there's some gorgeous photos of Nora with Cale, so maybe things are going a little better for them. They have moved to NYC I think...

She says on her blog:

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Not all of you agree with us having Nora-I get that. I really do. I'm sure being on the outside looking in, it may be hard to understand (or impossible) how I could make the decision to have a baby when we face so many daily challenges already. It's true. We're a tad bit crazy over here. But...we're living. We're living life as best we can and enjoying it to the fullest. 

Nora is truly our greatest earthly blessing. And as amazing as all the therapy was for Cale while inpatient in different hospitals, having his little girl play with him has been the best therapy possible for him in the season he's in. We're so very thankful for her. And because I know all of you are wondering, yes. We hope to have another...and if not, we're ok with that too.

http://www.adarlingkindoflife.com

Ian and Larissa are a different story though. They weren't married when Ian had his accident, IIRC they weren't even engaged, while Cale and Kathleen were already married. No one would have blamed Larissa for moving on with her life. But Ian's dad really pushed her to still marry Ian, and I really think that was wrong.

There's also another couple in the same position as Cale and Kathleen - Ben and Katie (I think?)

http://katieandbenupdates.blogspot.com.au but I don't know much about them.

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I followed Ben and Katie's blog. She hasn't updated much since they baby was born which is understandable.

Ben and Katie were involved in a car accident in 2009. They had been married a year or two before. Ben was an Army Ranger and Katie is a nurse. They were in Georgia when the accident happened. She had broken bones and some kind of surgery because of the accident. I think Ben was in a coma for awhile They later moved to Washington where Katie is from. I recall Ben was in brain rehab center in New Jersey at one point.

1 hour ago, DaffyDill said:

I don't think she is. I read her blog just before, her last update was Feb 2016) and although she says they would like another one, there's nothing about her being pregnant again. There's also nothing about being pregnant on her Facebook, either. 

I have to say though, there's some gorgeous photos of Nora with Cale, so maybe things are going a little better for them. They have moved to NYC I think...

She says on her blog:

http://www.adarlingkindoflife.com

Ian and Larissa are a different story though. They weren't married when Ian had his accident, IIRC they weren't even engaged, while Cale and Kathleen were already married. No one would have blamed Larissa for moving on with her life. But Ian's dad really pushed her to still marry Ian, and I really think that was wrong.

There's also another couple in the same position as Cale and Kathleen - Ben and Katie (I think?)

http://katieandbenupdates.blogspot.com.au but I don't know much about them.

I feel the same way as do many FJers. The church they attended is considered to be cult like by some.

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4 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

I followed Ben and Katie's blog. She hasn't updated much since they baby was born which is understandable.

Ben and Katie were involved in a car accident in 2009. They had been married a year or two before. Ben was an Army Ranger and Katie is a nurse. They were in Georgia when the accident happened. She had broken bones and some kind of surgery because of the accident. I think Ben was in a coma for awhile They later moved to Washington where Katie is from. I recall Ben was in brain rehab center in New Jersey at one point.

I feel the same way as do many FJers. The church they attended is considered to be cult like by some.

Yep. I feel so sorry for Larissa. If you only read her blog, you would have the impression Ian is a lot better than he actually is. Any videos I've seen (and admittedly I haven't seen one for a while) surprised me, and I found it hard to believe he could do the things she says. Like being her "spiritual leader", and giving her advice on spiritual matters.

She always seems so wistful and melancholic, and just plain sad, and I don't blame her. The emotional pressure put upon her by Ian's father was quite dreadful. It seemed as if he and his wife wanted a lifelong caregiver for Ian, and expected her to put her whole life on hold forever to care for him. If she had been my daughter, I certainly would have tried to dissuade her from that marriage, as she still could have moved on with her life, and seen Ian every so often.

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1 hour ago, DaffyDill said:

 

2 minutes ago, DaffyDill said:

Yep. I feel so sorry for Larissa. If you only read her blog, you would have the impression Ian is a lot better than he actually is. Any videos I've seen (and admittedly I haven't seen one for a while) surprised me, and I found it hard to believe he could do the things she says. Like being her "spiritual leader", and giving her advice on spiritual matters.

She always seems so wistful and melancholic, and just plain sad, and I don't blame her. The emotional pressure put upon her by Ian's father was quite dreadful. It seemed as if he and his wife wanted a lifelong caregiver for Ian, and expected her to put her whole life on hold forever to care for him. If she had been my daughter, I certainly would have tried to dissuade her from that marriage, as she still could have moved on with her life, and seen Ian every so often.

 

I agree with you on that. We have talked about here and then some people pointed that Ian's paintings show that he isn't that well off mentally. I have suspected that Katie also tries to make it Ben a lot better than actually is on her blog. Like, Larissa, she posted videos of Ben and he didn't seem too verbal or high functioning. I do think Ben may be slightly better off than Ian. 

 

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14 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

I agree with you on that. We have talked about here and then some people pointed that Ian's paintings show that he isn't that well off mentally. I have suspected that Katie also tries to make it Ben a lot better than actually is on her blog. Like, Larissa, she posted videos of Ben and he didn't seem too verbal or high functioning. I do think Ben may be slightly better off than Ian. 

 

And I think Cale may be better off than either Ben or Ian. He has his own Facebook page, which I am pretty sure he does himself, does things like take selfies at the dentist, carries his little girl around etc.

I also noted biro they moved to NYC - that was wrong, they're in NC, which I think is North Carolina?

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7 hours ago, DaffyDill said:

She always seems so wistful and melancholic, and just plain sad, and I don't blame her. 

I've never connected with her style of writing and you've just pin-pointed it. It's so sad! Even about happy things, it comes across as wishing life were different. It is hard to watch. 

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11 hours ago, DaffyDill said:

And I think Cale may be better off than either Ben or Ian. He has his own Facebook page, which I am pretty sure he does himself, does things like take selfies at the dentist, carries his little girl around etc.

I also noted biro they moved to NYC - that was wrong, they're in NC, which I think is North Carolina?

I also agree on Cale. Physically and mentally he is better off than both Ben and Ian. I can kind of see why Kathleen wanted children. She might have felt that it wouldn't be too difficult. Katie did express on her blog a few years back about having a full plate after an incident in which Ben asked about having a dog and a baby. Katie and Ben have a good support system with her family.

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I believe Ian's brother and his wife (and daughter) also moved back in with Ian and Larissa. I think that is the brother that shared care giving early on, and now he's back.  

Ian's parents (and the evil John Piper) seem to me to be very willing to sacrifice the their other son and Larissa to the altar of Ian. I am not saying Ian doesn't deserve care. His accident was tragic. A decent family would have encouraged her to move on with her life, and found other options than the brother dedicating his live to Ian.

All her wistful posts about wishing Christmas was different, etc seem to me to prove that they have never adjusted to a "new normal". 

I am also cynical enough to wonder how much help Ian gets with the watercolors.... but that is just me. 

 

 

 

 

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The book was so depressing. I think Larissa is clinically depressed for sure. All of her "life sucks" commentary and how great it'll be when she and Ian are dead and can be happy (no exaggerating). 

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Yes, this poor woman Larissa wishes for death. I mean... can't wait for heaven because of Jesus. :my_confused:

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