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In which Abigail the Martyr harasses a man at Goodwill


singsingsing

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In case Google's cache clears, here is her post:

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for Claire and Rita

At 11:45 AM last Friday morning, I sat in a long line at my local city's Goodwill. I had an 11 year old son, a 5 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter dancing around my small shopping cart. My one year son sat in the shopping cart basket, with a thumb in his mouth and his hazel eyes telling me "Mom, I'm so ready to leave this place!" My older kids were all calm and happy. After a 25 minute search at Goodwill we had found snowboots for two sets of growing feet. My sense of relief in the long checkout line wasn't simply that the new snowboots would be cheap, but also that finding them was so easy. Our woodcutter had arrived late this morning. I was stuck fitting in trips to the Public Library, Aldis, Goodwill, and Target before the blizzard was expected to start at 1 PM.

The man ahead of me, looked to be about forty. He had a shopping cart filled with items. He had picked out about 50 tee shirts. The cashier at Goodwill was blind. The cashier and the man had worked out a check out system. The customer picked up each item one by one out of the shopping cart. The man read the cashier the price.  She typed in the price on the old fashioned cash register. A noise sounded and the cashier hit a second total button. Then the cashier took off the hanger from the tee shirt and then put the tee shirt into a large Goodwill shopping bag.

For my first 15 minutes in line, I didn't observe the man's shopping cart in any detail. I questioned my 11 year old about his decision to purchase a $2 Play Station gun when we only owned a Xbox. If you haven't seen Alex in a while, you might not understand how deeply committed to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, this kid has become. He talked to me about how he was going to modify the Play Station Gun to become the perfect Storm Trooper weapon. My son talked to me about paper craft, weapon design, and stage craft with the intensity of a Broadway Prop Director. Then we talked about Adam Driver's Saturday Night Live skit where he goes "Undercover Boss" as Kylo Ren.

In the middle of making esoteric jokes about Star Wars with my son, I noticed that in the bottom shelf of the man's shopping cart in front of me had a thick 3 D jigsaw puzzle. I'd recognized the puzzles from Art Gallery Shops and the Building Museum Gift Shop. I've never seen one up close before. I started looking more intensely. The puzzle said "Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris" and it was so legit that it was subtitled "Notre Dame Cathedral de Paris".

"That's a great 3-D Puzzle" I said.

"Uh huh," the man said with his back turned to me.

I started looking at this puzzle and excitment kept building in me. I knew it was$100 retail. I always thought that price was so overblown. When I started to look at the craftmanship on the box, the 3 D Puzzle looked amazing. There was something concrete about measuring each and every precise line in that piece of architecture. I'd seen Notre Dame in person, and yet I'd never noticed the total beauty of its design. The Cathedral is too big to see from one vantage point. This 950 piece 3 D puzzle, served as kind of mini-Architecture lesson. The beauty of Notre Dame is overwhelming. I knew that my 11 year old son, the orgami lover, and my 8 year old French Baker, would have a blast putting that puzzle together. 

We risked having the power going out in a few hours. A new entertainment project that could keep an 11 year old and an 8 year old going by firelight without TV, Play Station or Tablets felt priceless.

"Can I have your Notre Dame puzzle?" I said to the man who had kept his back towards me for a full 20 minutes.

"Nope."

In a moment of self-doubt, I mentally calculated how much longer I'd been at Goodwill than the man standing in front of me. If I thought to send Alex to look for puzzles while I was carefully finding new snow boots for an extremely particular 5 year old, the $96 dollars off retail puzzle would be in my shopping cart.

I was fairly certain that another 3 D puzzle of Notre Dame did not exist inside a Goodwill in Martinsburg, WV. "Maybe I could trade puzzles with the man," I thought optimistically.  "Alex go look for puzzles," I told my son.

Alex came back quickly. "There are no more puzzles, Mom. They are all out." 

I felt deflated. I looked at the man's shopping cart. The 3 D puzzle of Notre Dame was stacked on top of a 3 inch puzzle of "Harry Potter". One top of the 3 D Puzzle of Notre Dame was a china plate marked "Hooters." 

"I'll buy that Notre Dame puzzle off of you," I said. "I'll pay you double." 

"Nope," the man said. "The wife asked for puzzles, I'm getting puzzles." 

"But you don't even know what you have," I said. "I'm a Catholic. I've been to Paris and seen that church. I'll pay double." 

"No," the man said. He kept his back to me.

I was in a prayer full mood already because of the March for Life happening at the same time 90 miles away in Washington D.C. In a second, it felt like that shopping cart at Goodwill contained everything wrong with the world. A beautiful replica of Our Lady, shoved over a magician's puzzle and under a Hooter's souvenir plate. The man who was buying it referred to "the wife" in a flat dead tone. The tone scraped my soul because I'm not "the wife," I'm "John's wife" and "Mary's daughter". I couldn't stand to see the church where I had prayed my first Hail Mary and received the graces of my holy vocation shoved under a Hooter's plate.

In a second, I prayed. Not a long prayer. Not something well-thought out. I just prayed to God "Help Catholics recognize the beauty of their faith."  I wish I had the power of a Jedi Knight so the 3 D Puzzle of Notre Dame would have flown out of the shopping cart into my hands. I wish I was a movie writer because I would have written an expert script where the man turned and said "Don't worry, my wife and I will enjoy this puzzle together." 

Instead, I'm just a Catholic. After my prayer of the heart, I knew I had to pray for the man who unknowingly put a symbol of My Mom, the Holy Virgin Mary, in a item sandwhich with a Harry Potter Puzzle and a Hooters Plate. Inside my head, with a tone about as insincere as one of my kid's uses to apologize to his sibling,  I prayed "Blessed the Man who bought the Notre Dame Puzzle. Bless his marriage. May he have a good time with his wife putting this puzzle together during the blizzard." 

After my short interior prayer session, I didn't feel better. I felt worse. I thought about all the Marchers in the Snow. I thought about all those kids, each one who is as brilliant as my son Alex and as funny as my daughter Abigail Clare. I thought about how we treat marriage in this country, and children, and women. "You don't know what you have" seemed to apply to a whole lot of problems in Contemporary American Society. 

After praying my prayer to God, I noticed my attention getting drawn to the man's shoulders. His back was still turned to me. I saw his body language getting more and more tense and angry. "Soothe the situation," I thought. 

"I understand that you won't sell it," I said sweetly. "I won't bother you about it again. Thanks for letting me try." 

The man kept his back to me. He handed the blind cashier one $3 tee shirt and then another. His shoulders kept getting higher and higher.  I could see the fist of his hands clentch around the tips of the plastic hangers.

A woman behind me stepped closer to me. "I love those curls," she said as she pointed to my daughters. The blind cashier looked up at me. She couldn't see the man's face, but she could still feel his anger at me. Two other female citizens closed in closer to me, making a protective knot about me and my children. 

I suddenly started to see the situation through their eyes as semi-dangerous. I'd emotionally poked a strong guy over the question of religion at a Goodwill while I had 4 small kids standing around my shopping cart. 

I rapidly started to deesculate the situation. I chatted cheerfully with the three senior citizens about our joint blizzard prep work. The blind cashier called a new cashier to the front of store to handle our purchases. After waiting in line for about 25 minutes, we were checked out, paid, and out of the store within 3 minutes of my offer to buy a Notre Dame Puzzle.

As I left the store, I noticed as "Jesus loves you" poster by the front door of Goodwill. "He does," I decided.

I got three little kids buckled into car seats. I drove the short distance to Aldi's grocery store to buy butter. I stopped by greatful that I got cleaning out of a situation where a man had boiling rage coming off of his back, I started thinking about creative "other ways" that incident could have ended. "I wish I was more vocal," I told God. "Maybe I could have grabbed it, like those You Tube Video of Black Friday Sales," I thought.

God talks to me in the quiet of my heart and in our relationship, he makes a lot of jokes. In the split second that I shifted from drive to park in the Aldi's parking lot, God let me mentally play out the scenario of my grabbing a 3 D puzzle of Notre Dame Cathedral. "I might go to jail for some bogus charge of battery," but my husband would be supportive.  Then God showed me Claire W's face, who is a fellow attorney and fellow pro-life Catholic inside my town. I pictured her face as I called her to tell her that I needed her babysit my 6 kids while her husband, a criminal defense attorney, bailed me out of jail. "She's in jail for a puzzle?" I pictured her saying. 

"It's not a puzzle. It's a principle!" I pictured myself saying in response. Then I pictured losing that argument with Claire in the same way I was losing my argument with God.

In that moment, I started laughing with God. I felt loved. I felt appreciated. I felt reminded a gorgeous as an Architectural Puzzle is of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, as gorgeous as the actual Notre Dame Cathedral is in Paris, my little cell of a Catholic family is infinately more precious and more valuable. I don't have to win any verbal fights, anymore. I don't have to go to jail for my Catholic faith. My simple existance in this tired, apathetic environment brings forth new life and change.

 

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As I must on every Abigail thread: "hey lady, are you a lawyer? Great! Go get a job and support your family and stop bitching about your so-called poverty!"

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I can only imagine, if her "snowflake adoption" of potentially four special needs fertilized eggs had taken, how much more entitled she would have acted about the damn puzzle. She really is a piece of work. Is this what Raquel will grow into (different religion but same selfish and completely unself-aware attitude with "religion" as a justification)?

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I would think the young kids would be more likely to have a "I want! I need" meltdown at a store than an adult woman over a puzzle. What a wonderful learning experience for her hatchlings. "Remember, kids! If someone keeps saying no to a request, keep harassing them because you are a shiny Catholic and everyone else is a dirty sinner!"

Abigail was the first archive I read while I was guest-lurking. I recall a few things that she said making my shoulder blades itch like the comparison of being placed in daycare is like being an orphan in Ukraine and the use of 'Mommy' for 'Mary', among other more serious things. What we have here is a woman who will be 12 forever.

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I think the snowflake adoption was Adeye over at nogreaterjoymom.  Unless it happened twice.  Oh, God, could it happen twice?

 

The "female citizens" were probably dirty and sinful women who acted like men and don't deserve to be called women or ladies.  No mention of a child among them, and probably pants too. And taking on a protector role that should have gone to men. Must be lesbians.

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She's a lunatic. She sold or possibly gave away their fridge when they moved into their house because she felt it was "too big." They are a family of 8! She then had her family use a tiny dorm fridge that felt better to her as it was small and cozy and you couldn't store much. It's like her entire family is just subject to Abigail's whims. However she feels that day, that's what matters. For everyone. And she's always right because Mary is her mommy and God is her daddy. So there. 

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Yeah, I'm hoping I NEVER run into her at Goodwill.  It will be a battle of the Catholics, especially if my hubby gets involved.  

What a self absorbed twit.  

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48 minutes ago, Inthemadhouse said:

I think the snowflake adoption was Adeye over at nogreaterjoymom.  Unless it happened twice.  Oh, God, could it happen twice

OMG whoops! Don't know how I could have mixed them up - too early in the morning, I guess. 

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31 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

She's a lunatic. She sold or possibly gave away their fridge when they moved into their house because she felt it was "too big." They are a family of 8! She then had her family use a tiny dorm fridge that felt better to her as it was small and cozy and you couldn't store much. It's like her entire family is just subject to Abigail's whims. However she feels that day, that's what matters. For everyone. And she's always right because Mary is her mommy and God is her daddy. So there. 

Oh, it was even better. They got rid of their full sized fridge when they moved in, for reasons unknown. They replaced it with a mini fridge, which, as you say, would be way too small for a family of 8. This necessitated her grocery shopping on a much more frequent basis, but it's not like she lived around the corner from a store or a farmer's market, so she needlessly complicated her life. BUT THEN - they ended up getting rid of the mini fridge, and replacing it with another full sized fridge! Yeah, they're really poor.

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17 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Surprise, surprise - the post has now disappeared! I wish I'd thought to take a screen grab, but - it's gone. It's been replaced by a blog post about her involvement in a clean water conference, which seems like a very worthy endeavour.

The post is a bit weird - it really looks like she copied and pasted a news article that someone else wrote. But when I paste the text into google, nothing comes up. So I can't figure out if she lifted the article from somewhere else, or if she composed it herself and is writing about herself in the third person.

Damnit. Did anyone else think to screenshot the post?

It was also very weird, and unfair, how she thought the guy would get violent with her when all he did was keep his back turned to her and answer her questions with terse answers. Not exactly someone seems to want to escalate the situation. 

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And the fact that she thought that 'de-escalating' the situation meant saying to him "sweetly" that she understood he wouldn't sell it to her, and 'thank you for letting me try.' WTF lady, that's the exact opposite of not escalating a situation! 

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3 hours ago, meda said:

As I must on every Abigail thread: "hey lady, are you a lawyer? Great! Go get a job and support your family and stop bitching about your so-called poverty!"

Do we really want Abigail out there practicing law?

22 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

And the fact that she thought that 'de-escalating' the situation meant saying to him "sweetly" that she understood he wouldn't sell it to her, and 'thank you for letting me try.' WTF lady, that's the exact opposite of not escalating a situation! 

Yes, funny how Abigail was the victim there... Other than Jill Rodrigues I don't think there is another fundie who is quite as dramatic as Abigail. 

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I always feel sorry for the drama queen's families. Just reading about their "adventures" is draining. Imagine living around them. *shudder*

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OK. I've been trying to think of something to say. This whole thing is so ridiculous. Mainly, as a Catholic myself,  why does she think only a Catholic should own this puzzle? I understand the importance of the Cathedral of Notre Dame, but it's just a puzzle, not a piece of the Sistine Chapel. You know, I grew up next to Baptists, who for some reason did not consider us Christians. I let it go because my Mother said we all had the right to our own beliefs.  So the fact that this woman sees herself as superior to  non-Catholics blows my mind. I guess the problem is I am looking at this from a completely different perspective than hers. Also, if this woman is a lawyer, she really needs to get a good assistant who can use spell and grammar check before she goes into practice because she can't spell.

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3 hours ago, Inthemadhouse said:

I think the snowflake adoption was Adeye over at nogreaterjoymom.  Unless it happened twice.  Oh, God, could it happen twice?

Then is Abigail the one who's a CF carrier, as well as her husband, but they keep on having kids even knowing they're rolling the dice every time? Because Mommy Mary will take care of it?

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@jcanglin991 Don't worry, she's never going to practice law again because she gave it all up to be a Catholic(tm) wife and mother. (My personal theory is that she starting practicing, couldn't handle it and/or hated it, and used religion partly as a get out of jail free card).

As for her spelling and grammar problems, she and her children cannot spell because they are all gifted. Seriously. This is what she believes.

@VodouDoll Abigail spent years and years trumpeting the fact that she and her husband are both carriers of the CF gene, and that each of her kids has a 1/4 of having it. Then, suddenly, one day she explained that only her husband has the 'really bad' CF gene, but that she has a version which the doctors don't think is really bad at all, and therefore it's most likely that none of her kids will suffer from it. 

This is pretty typical Abigail, she tends to exaggerate to an absurd degree for effect (i.e. her famous 'I was a Ukrainian orphan because my mother put me in daycare'), and then suddenly change her story when it's useful for her to change it. I remember once she randomly declared that she had been in a long term same sex relationship. It was completely out of the blue, she had written at length and in detail about her evil premarital sexual exploits for years beforehand and never once mentioned a same sex relationship, and as far as I know has never mentioned it again...

She has very strange ideas about herself and her family.

 

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I was coming here to say I couldn't get to the blog to read it. Other posts, but not this. So thanks, Jingerbread, for posting it. Could she have deleted the post?

Woman's crazy. I've admired the stuff other people have picked up at Goodwill. I've offered them things from my cart that go with things in their carts, and I've even said, "Wow! Good eye! If I'd have seen it first,, though, you'd be telling me that!" and then we'd both laugh, and go on our merry ways. I have never, EVER, asked someone for something out of their cart.

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I don't even know what to say about this. She thought because Harry Potter and Hooters, she deserved the thing more than he did? And while she was praying she thought she should've STOLEN it from him? Abigail is unhinged.

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42 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I would love to hear this story from the view of the guy buying the puzzle. 

Exactly. We need an interview with him and these female citizens who encircled Abigail and her kids. :my_rolleyes:

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37 minutes ago, VodouDoll said:

Then is Abigail the one who's a CF carrier, as well as her husband, but they keep on having kids even knowing they're rolling the dice every time? Because Mommy Mary will take care of it?

Yes, that's the one. Or so she says. If it's true, they've been very lucky not to have a child with CF.

I found the entry where she talks about it the most, I think. Abigail and her husband are some of the most tone-deaf, self centered parents out there. All of their comments, concerns and choices revolve around THEM. How they will deal with having a terminally ill child, how it will make them feel, how it's okay if all of their children have died by the time their parents are in a nursing home, how Abigail's had to struggle to forgive all of the medical professionals for not telling her what she wants to hear.

Not one single concern about how difficult and terrifying it would be for that child to live with CF. Not a thought for what their other children would have to go through, and how they could be expected to give that many other children adequate time and attention. The mind, it boggles.

http://www.abigailbenjamin.net/abigails-alcove/2007/12/help-of-holy-innocents.html

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22 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

Here's what also baffles me, as a thrift store advocate -- out of all the things I would buy at a thrift store, I would hesitate about a puzzle for the simple reason that (unless it was unopened) I would expect there to be at least one piece missing.  In fact, when I cleaned out my dad's house after his death, I was faced with a shelf full of jigsaw puzzles (we were definitely a puzzle family when I was a kid) -- and I felt bad donating the opened boxes without being able to reassure the store that all pieces were there -- but at the same time I didn't have the time to actually assemble them before donating, tempting though that was!  It would seem to me that the more important the puzzle is to her, the more she'd want to make sure she got a complete one.

tl;dr -- people are strange.

Nothing to do with anything, but my mom volunteers at her local St. Vincent dePaul store and they get puzzles all the time.  There are several women there (including mom) who are puzzle freaks and they just bring them home and put them together to make sure all the pieces are there before they go on the shelf.  We always have new puzzles to do!  

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8 minutes ago, Rebelwife said:

Nothing to do with anything, but my mom volunteers at her local St. Vincent dePaul store and they get puzzles all the time.  There are several women there (including mom) who are puzzle freaks and they just bring them home and put them together to make sure all the pieces are there before they go on the shelf.  We always have new puzzles to do!  

Can I move in with your mom? I LOVE puzzles, but rarely get to do them, as I own a cat. If the puzzle had all the pieces when I started, it wouldn't by the time I finished. :P 

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