Miss Raquel's Second Novel- Part 2

[nausicaa]

36 minutes ago, ari_belle said:

Can you imagine Raquel taking a creative writing class? She wouldn't be able to take the criticism.

https://www.instagram.com/raquelmusic_official/

Oh, and she has this 2nd instagram now where she posts 15-second clips of her singing. I'm embarrassed for her every time she posts these...I don't even feel any schadenfreude.

Oh God, she would storm out of her first peer review. 

And a literature class where she has to back up everything she says with something from the text, rather than "I think" or "I feel"? She'd be toast. 

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, ari_belle said:

Can you imagine Raquel taking a creative writing class? She wouldn't be able to take the criticism.

https://www.instagram.com/raquelmusic_official/

Oh, and she has this 2nd instagram now where she posts 15-second clips of her singing. I'm embarrassed for her every time she posts these...I don't even feel any schadenfreude.

The official Raquel music instagram? Like someone would create an unofficial one? I suspect her music career will go the same way her modeling career did. 

If Raquel thinks college is going to be the easy way out she is going to be in for a big wake-up call. And learn the reality of plagiarism. Claiming that she found it on Pintrest so she could claim it as her will not work in college. 

[xRoo]

When did she start singing every note so flat?

[Mitz_]

On January 29, 2016 at 5:05 AM, formergothardite said:

He was hard to take care of so she gave him to someone who already had horses. I don't think she ever made a post about it, she was questioned on ask.fm about what happened to the horse. 

Male horses, when very relaxed, have a habit of standing around with their 2 ft long penis hanging out. I'm sure this would have offended Raquel and the horse would have to go. 

 

[clueliss]

Okay so someone is sponsoring an earring giveaway for her.  blah blah blah.  (likely in return for hyping their etsy shop)  

[ari_belle]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

The official Raquel music instagram? Like someone would create an unofficial one? I suspect her music career will go the same way her modeling career did. 

If Raquel thinks college is going to be the easy way out she is going to be in for a big wake-up call. And learn the reality of plagiarism. Claiming that she found it on Pintrest so she could claim it as her will not work in college. 

When I was in college (and I just graduated a couple years ago) you'd get an automatic F in any course for plagiarizing. You'd also be put on academic probation.

[Shoobydoo]

7 hours ago, ari_belle said:

Can you imagine Raquel taking a creative writing class? She wouldn't be able to take the criticism.

https://www.instagram.com/raquelmusic_official/

Oh, and she has this 2nd instagram now where she posts 15-second clips of her singing. I'm embarrassed for her every time she posts these...I don't even feel any schadenfreude.

Every time we talk about these people who flip the fuck out at the slightest hint of criticism, I wish I could send them to art school for a semester. If they don't rip your shit apart, your teacher's not doing their job.  Actually, I can imagine a Raquel the Artist saga very easily... Art (with a capital A) is a great realm for those who want to be the specialist snowflake without ever specifying what exactly it is they do.

[OnceUponATime]

12 hours ago, ari_belle said:

When I was in college (and I just graduated a couple years ago) you'd get an automatic F in any course for plagiarizing. You'd also be put on academic probation.

that is a soft rule! at mine you were kicked out with a lifelong ban of enrolling there again, no warnings given. Oh and they classed "incorrectly using the given-norms" as plagiarizing. So if you had a comma in the wrong place, or used proper APA rules and not the 'correct' major-adapted APA norms, well you better hope no one notices. As far as I was aware every campus/major had their own slightly differently adapted rule book of the norms. I have no idea why, nor do I know why they felt the need to adapt a perfectly good referencing system to start with. If you don't like it pick a different one, it isn't like there aren't lots out there.

As students we raised this (incorrect comma usage) as a potential issue and were told we were being unreasonable for wishing that the rule book was at least rewritten in such a way as to not imply that a wrong punctuation mark could get you kicked out. Apparently following the given norms was really easy (said head honchos who don't' have to use them). Amusingly none of the lecturers knew how to use them, nor could they reach a consensus on what was correct for any given example. Then again the lecturers also did not provided adequate referencing in their courses so they weren't used to such academic things...

Sorry for the mini-essay. it was one of my academic pet peeves.

[formergothardite]

Her latest poem. 

Quote

And even though you have slowly faded from my life
Not by choice, but by demand
There is one thing that will never change:

You were my new year.

 

Quote

I still feel the whole zoo trampling in my stomach when I see your face or hear your name.  Not just butterflies.  Because you were more wild and mesmerizing than to make me feel just butterflies. 

Quote

You were a raging ocean of magical waves, a sky full of starlit diamonds.

 

Quote

I was content in just watching the way you held my gaze and the way you looked at me

So she was happy watching him watching her? How exactly does that work?  

 

[clueliss]

And I wander over to check the whole thing out.  

THAT is not a poem.  That is rambling in jagged paragraphs.  Incomplete ones.  There is NO meter to that mess.  (I can ignore no rhyme, but no meter?  meh)  

Huh - now that she's moved out it's black, eh?

As someone who has taken creative writing (in a junior college, after I got my bachelors in accounting) and from the same professor a creative writing workshop (twice, credit class) and has been in critique groups - I have one specific former critique group member I'd like to introduce Raquel to.  They can go off together and love their own and each other's writing without ever learning anything in the process.  

[Firiel]

I feel like
we should write all our posts in this thread
as regular sentences
with random line breaks.

Then
we too can be poets.

[clueliss]

Too Bad

We Can't

Left 

Justify

(because that particular 'poem' of hers made me nuts)

[nastyhobbitses]

14 minutes ago, Firiel said:

I feel like
we should write all our posts in this thread
as regular sentences
with random line breaks.

Then
we too can be poets.

There once was a lass named Raquel

Who thought we were all doomed to Hell

She was a creep in Peru

And tried a stint at a U

When will she mature? Time will tell.

[formergothardite]

I feel like

I want to work

"You are a raging ocean with magical waves"

Into a conversation with my husband.

Just to get a reaction. 

A raging ocean doesn't sound like a pleasant

Person to be around

And depending on the magic

The magical waves can be miserable too.

So basically she was insulting the guy. 

And I'm pretty sure she was copying Coldplay with 

Sky full of starlit diamonds.

She has learned enough to not copy it word for word, though because 

She will get called out for that. 

And what does that all even mean? A sky full of starlit diamonds?

What is this supposed to tell us about the person?

[salex]

I have taken more creative writing workshops than any person really should.  I minored in Creative Writing then got an MFA in creative Writing- Fiction (this is used to explain my career in marketing  ) and lived though a lot of critiques by professors, peers and visiting writers.

Raquel would, like the Boy Named Sue, have to "get tough or die" if she enrolled in a good workshop. It could help her if she let it, but her poetry and fiction would both come under intense scrutiny. I am not sure her homeschooling, blogging or newspaper writing has prepared her in any way for a really good English professor. 

[AmazonGrace]

Hey guys, you forget

there is no right or wrong way to write

if the readers think what  the hell did I just read,

congrats, you have made them feel

Quote

We were inseparable.
A unique bond.

And even though you have slowly faded from my life
Not by choice, but by demand

We were inseparable

but not really

because we are not together any more

Quote

When we first became acquainted with the others' existence - exactly a year ago today -

the first twenty years of my life I thought that I was the only one in the world

then I discovered that OTHERS exist

no wonder I'm so affected

(yes, apostrophes matter...)
 

Quote

Even after a year.  I still feel the whole zoo trampling in my stomach when I see your face or hear your name.  Not just butterflies.  Because you were more wild and mesmerizing than to make me feel just butterflies.

 

My friends keep telling me to go see a doctor

about my stomach problems

 

Quote

 

You were a raging ocean

 

you were angry, and kind of wet

Quote

a sky full of starlit diamonds.

I'm talking about planets

not plagiarizing Coldplay

Honest

 

 

 

 

And when you looked at me nothing else in the world mattered.

Absolutely nothing.

 

 

Some people are rather mad at me

for neglecting my duties.

But I have an excuse.

I was content in just watching the way you held my gaze and the way you looked at me and knowing, with absolute certainty, that you loved me and I loved you.  And that was enough.

You were my new year.

[/quote]

 

We had a staring contest.

Everyone else called it 2015.
 

 

[Terrie]

Sky full of starlit diamonds? Huh? If the stars are all diamonds, how are they starlit? Because diamonds don't give off starlight. 

[nastyhobbitses]

13 minutes ago, Terrie said:

Sky full of starlit diamonds? Huh? If the stars are all diamonds, how are they starlit? Because diamonds don't give off starlight. 

To be fair, there are a lot of songs that talk about diamonds as celestial bodies. To wit:

"Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling through an endless diamond sky"

"Eye to eye, so alive, we're beautiful like diamonds in the sky" -- Actually, given the imagery set forth in this song, I can safely say that I liked Raquel's poem better when Sia wrote it and Rihanna sang it.

[AmazonGrace]

A sky full of starlit stars?

[Pianokeeper]

Raquel! Raquel! The name an echo, loud,

reverberates around the internests.

Don't ever say this modest girl is proud,

'cause Jesus, God, or... something. We are blessed! 

So blesséd by her creeping on the youth,

and more besides by reading all her crap.

If we can't see she only speaks the truth, 

'tis our own fault; we should but gasp and clap. 

When I was young, a goodly time ago, 

I never would have dreamed that I could see

such heav'nly poetry writ down here below --

such starlit words!  Such perspicacity!

My friends, you may incline yourselves to laugh --

But genius hers arises from the chaff.

[Kate11]

Raquel! Raquel! The name an echo, loud,

reverberates around the internests.

Don't ever say this modest girl is proud,

'cause Jesus, God, or... something. We are blessed! 

So blesséd by her creeping on the youth,

and more besides by reading all her crap.

If we can't see she only speaks the truth, 

'tis our own fault; we should but gasp and clap. 

When I was young, a goodly time ago, 

I never would have dreamed that I could see

such heav'nly poetry writ down here below --

such starlit words!  Such perspicacity!

My friends, you may incline yourselves to laugh --

But genius hers arises from the chaff.

I wish I could like this 1,000 times!

[Terrie]

Just noticed her bit on wearing black. Easy to match with other black pieces? Clearly she has never bothered to notice that when black fades, pieces never match. I even have two black socks, same brand, different package. One faded to dark blue, one to dark green. Must have been different dye lots.

[refugee]

On 2/4/2016 at 10:58 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

Or she sees college as the best of both worlds: don't actually need to deal with unfiltered real life, but no pesky parents putting restrictions on you.

I am one to talk, seeing as I myself recently crawled back up the vagina of life into the secure womb of academia.

Got any suggestions for affording it?

(OT, sorry)

4 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

To be fair, there are a lot of songs that talk about diamonds as celestial bodies. To wit:

"Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling through an endless diamond sky"

"Eye to eye, so alive, we're beautiful like diamonds in the sky" -- Actually, given the imagery set forth in this song, I can safely say that I liked Raquel's poem better when Sia wrote it and Rihanna sang it.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds!

Oh. 

Never mind.

[LilMissMetaphor]

This discussion's reminding me of The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band song my siblings and I used to listen to:

You were a tiny spark

Caught in your parents' eyes

And when they made love in the dark

You were the big surprise

 

(Though we always used to sing "You were a tiny fart caught in your parents' ass") which kinda reminds me of Raquel, too.  So, full circle.)

[clueliss]

Okay Raquel, I'm about to drag one of 'my grils' (someone I had in my small group when I was a leader and she was in elementary school) into this for comparison.  Isabelle (although I know her real first name) is from Kansas.  She acts, sings, dances and is doing modeling work.  In NYC.  She is on her own.  19 years old I think (if my memory/math is right).   I believe her dad died at some point after I left the area to move where I am now.  

http://www.isabellefisher.com/blog/2016/2/5/making-progress-2516

Let's rehash this - shes on her own, legitimately.  Following a dream but realistic because she's now considering going to college.  And Mom didn't have to shove her out of the nest.