10 Things That Scare Me About the “Purity” Culture

[Jingerbread]

On 1/23/2016 at 2:21 PM, twinmama said:

I would say that anyone really into the purity thing needs to read what Elizabeth Smart had to say about what it did to her when she was kidnapped and raped and held hostage for months. She felt like her life was ruined because she was no longer "pure" and didn't try to escape or feel worthy of rescue because who would want a chewed piece of gum for a wife in the future? Honestly, I would never wish having a child kidnapped on any parent, but I hope her parents feel HORRIFIC for letting their child believe that crap and what it did to her. I assume they do.

I'm not so sure they do.  Elizabeth has spoken out against the crap she was raised with, but her parents haven't said a word against it.  If you got your kidnapped and raped teenager back, wouldn't you actively advocate against the teachings that made them feel so trapped that they didn't run?

[Criscat]

I grew up when the True Love Waits Movement was popular. Thankfully our church did not partake in that--wasn't on par with the purity ball but same deal with the purity rings. I was not confirmed until Junior year of high school--and I'm glad I waited. It was more what I wanted instead of what my parents wanted. 

I think while I think this nonsense can cause a lot of harm, some parents do mean well. Sexuality is just the one topic people seem to flip out about, no matter if fundie or not. 

 

 

[roddma]

One thing the purity culture failed to address is forever single or voluntary single. So you are supposed to abstain the rest of your life from a normal human function because a few people consider it wrong? What about widow/er who have already enjoyed the fruits.
It's so ashame there is still focus on this one aspect of existence. Even in secular society, it squicks me people still await to see if the bride wears white. How about hoping the couple is happy? If you want to wait, fine, but it is an unrealistic expectation for most and it should have no bearing on one's merit or character.

[purple_summer]

2 hours ago, roddma said:

So you are supposed to abstain the rest of your life from a normal human function because a few people consider it wrong?

Short answer- yes. It's definitely a question that comes up but we were told that unless you had the "gift of singleness" you wouldn't have to worry about it. Cue everyone in youth group praying to NOT have that "gift".

[Toothfairy]

7 hours ago, Jingerbread said:

I'm not so sure they do.  Elizabeth has spoken out against the crap she was raised with, but her parents haven't said a word against it.  If you got your kidnapped and raped teenager back, wouldn't you actively advocate against the teachings that made them feel so trapped that they didn't run?

Mormons and virginity  are a big deal. They can't go against  the lds church teachings. Unless they want to get kicked out. 

[nickelodeon]

The sort of kid who compares girls to chewed gum/unwrapped lollipops/filthy water is just like an offbrand oreo: never been touched because it's disgusting, fake and nobody likes it. Alimentary metaphors cut both ways!