New Year, Same Old Maxwells

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I agree with you, Babycakes, that the "stress" is all on the side of the parents wrangling small children.  If Sarah was a better writer she could convey this information to her readers instead of forcing us all to figure out why having cookies after going caroling is too stressful.

In my book if you have a party one week after you go caroling it is no longer a caroling party it is now a Christmas party.  Family, cookies, singing, Bible reading, why can't this just be called a Christmas party?

Also the game pictured doesn't look anything like Go Fish which is an old fashioned card game.  Is this some newfangled thing marketed for families that don't want to play with regular (Satanic) cards?  Spread out on the floor like that it looks like what we called the Memory Game or Matching Game.  I assume you try to match up pairs but when does anyone shout "Go Fish"? which what you shout when asked for a card you don't have. 

Also to be very nitpicky, in the Surprise! picture it looks like Elissa left her apron on while eating dinner. Unless it is the top half of a frilly frumper.  An apron is there to protect your clothing while you cook.  If you need it on while you are eating, you are doing it wrong.  I feel a bit mean to mention this but it bugs me.

[blessalessi]

I'm not sure which would be more stressful: keeping cranky kids up past their bedtime, under the judgemental eyes of Steve and Teri, or taking them home to bed while feeling the creeping dread that you have to go back and do it all again a week later.  :-\

[defraudingjezebel]

1 hour ago, Handmaiden of Dog said:

I agree with you, Babycakes, that the "stress" is all on the side of the parents wrangling small children.  If Sarah was a better writer she could convey this information to her readers instead of forcing us all to figure out why having cookies after going caroling is too stressful.

In my book if you have a party one week after you go caroling it is no longer a caroling party it is now a Christmas party.  Family, cookies, singing, Bible reading, why can't this just be called a Christmas party?

Also the game pictured doesn't look anything like Go Fish which is an old fashioned card game.  Is this some newfangled thing marketed for families that don't want to play with regular (Satanic) cards?  Spread out on the floor like that it looks like what we called the Memory Game or Matching Game.  I assume you try to match up pairs but when does anyone shout "Go Fish"? which what you shout when asked for a card you don't have. 

Also to be very nitpicky, in the Surprise! picture it looks like Elissa left her apron on while eating dinner. Unless it is the top half of a frilly frumper.  An apron is there to protect your clothing while you cook.  If you need it on while you are eating, you are doing it wrong.  I feel a bit mean to mention this but it bugs me.

My guess is that they associate a regular deck of playing cards with gambling, which is a huge no-no. I remember growing up with a few friends whose families disallowed them from playing any games at all with playing cards, since it "introduces" them to the idea of gambling apparently. 

[iweartanktops]

15 minutes ago, defraudingjezebel said:

My guess is that they associate a regular deck of playing cards with gambling, which is a huge no-no. I remember growing up with a few friends whose families disallowed them from playing any games at all with playing cards, since it "introduces" them to the idea of gambling apparently. 

What? I believe you, but this sounds absurd! I... Wow. 

[twin2]

But I thought they took notes from last year's caroling day so they would know what worked, what didn't and whatnot.  That should have taken care of the stress.  Must not have taken good enough notes.  They should pray about that.

[EmiGirl]

14 minutes ago, iweartanktops6 said:

What? I believe you, but this sounds absurd! I... Wow. 

What's even more absurd is that while I was substitute teaching I taught a kindergarten class and apparently the state of Tennessee no longer allows the use of the words die or dice. They had to be called dot cubes.

[Whoosh]

23 minutes ago, iweartanktops6 said:

What? I believe you, but this sounds absurd! I... Wow. 

As others are saying, this is pretty common.  I met some people that wouldn't let their kids play a game that used a single die, let alone touch the heather bicycle cards.  My proficiency at poker and spades was something I kept well hidden when at work.  Cause... poker.  And spades.  

[iweartanktops]

Now I'm trying to think if I've ever played cards with the fundies in my family... No. I'm busting the cards out next time I visit. 

And you can't say, "roll the dice." now it's, "hey kids, let's roll the dot cubes?" are you kidding me? 

[usmcmom]

58 minutes ago, defraudingjezebel said:

My guess is that they associate a regular deck of playing cards with gambling, which is a huge no-no. I remember growing up with a few friends whose families disallowed them from playing any games at all with playing cards, since it "introduces" them to the idea of gambling apparently. 

Some of the most conservative congregations of our church frown on cards and dice games as well. I knew we were in the clear when my son came home from the church lock-in having learned how to play Texas Hold 'em. 

[Cats B4 Quivers]

When I was 10, I was put in charge of a pair of 6 year old neighbour girls while my mom and the Twins' mom discussed curtains (or rugs or maybe it was dish patterns? Whatevs, they were adulting.). I decided to teach them how to play Crazy 8s. It was fun until the girls' mom saw us playing with a standard deck of playing cards. Then the fun ended and the neighbours left quickly and would not even acknowledge us when we saw them outside or at the grocery store. My mom still refers to this is as the time I turned some nice girls into gamblers steeped in sin. Too bad Crazy 8s was the raciest card game I knew. I really wanted to learn how to play poker because my favourite song at the time was "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers. I had to wait until my first summer at sleep away camp.

The Maxwells could turn a rave into a rainy afternoon sorting receipts for a tax return.

[EmiGirl]

36 minutes ago, iweartanktops6 said:

Now I'm trying to think if I've ever played cards with the fundies in my family... No. I'm busting the cards out next time I visit. 

And you can't say, "roll the dice." now it's, "hey kids, let's roll the dot cubes?" are you kidding me? 

Yes. At least that's how it was in the PUBLIC school I was in those days.  The kids thought it was as stupid as I did.

[CyborgKin]

My family plays a fair number of games with playing cards and dice, in addition to games with original cards.

 

Here's a good one, and with a name like this the fundies would have to love it

[PennySycamore]

That birthday cake of John's is probably the saddest, worst excuse for a b-day cake I've ever seen.  I can't tell if it has any frosting and it's not big enough for the Maxwell to have more than a teaspoon of cake apiece.  Of course, we are talking about the Maxwells.  Aren't they famous for 2 animal crackers? 

I play Go Fish with my granddaughter a lot.  We use Finding Nemo cards.  What the Maxwell girls are playing is not Go Fish

Btw, a link to the Maxwells' blog is now on my Frequenty Visited Sites at the bottom of the page (along with all my bookmarks, FJ and Google)  I get when I open up a new tab.

[SPHASH]

Years ago while on a mission trip the pastor taught me how to play Gin. Guess I'm going to hell. 

[anniebgood]

My Pentecostal relatives were card fiends. They played spoons, gin rummy, Texas Hold 'Em and 5 Card stud for hours. For those of us non card playing heathens, books and other games ...checkers, chess, chutes and ladders and operation were available. 

My MIL and my Mom would play dominoes for hours, talk about things with dots on them. My Mom taught both my kids to count playing dominoes on her breakfast bar. 

I'd play canasta with my folks when I was in college. Don't remember how to now, but it was enjoyable on dateless Fridays. 

 

[clese]

13 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

You left out the 1 minute Frumper Adjustment Period on each side. That moves pre-coitus prayer to the 2-6 minute block, post-coitus prayer to the 10-14 minute block, and leaves a measly 3 minutes in the middle for the Shame Shimmy. 

Lol lol!!!   Is it just me that reads things like this and automatically has a vision of maxwell sex? I suddenly pictured Anna Marie ( simply because she's likely getting it often seeing how pregnant she is all the time) with a godly to the toes nightshirt dress on closing her eyes in a pained expression praying in her head thinking of jesus...but not in THAT way...whilst chriswuth his cellphone parked up on the dresser, quietly goes efficiently about his business     Or Is that just me?

[blessalessi]

1 hour ago, clese said:

Lol lol!!!   Is it just me that reads things like this and automatically has a vision of maxwell sex? I suddenly pictured Anna Marie ( simply because she's likely getting it often seeing how pregnant she is all the time) with a godly to the toes nightshirt dress on closing her eyes in a pained expression praying in her head thinking of jesus...but not in THAT way...whilst chriswuth his cellphone parked up on the dresser, quietly goes efficiently about his business     Or Is that just me?

Just you, sinner! Chris would NEVER remove his cellphone from its holster for the sake of carnal pleasure. How on earth could he then be contacted if there should be a need for a  change to the Extended Family Schedule?! 

In other news, "Hi Steve".  Thanks for editing the Week Later Carolling Party to clarify that the interim week of ceiling fan dusting was scheduled to make the party "much more relaxing" not "much less stressful" as originally penned.  Glad that stress has been banished from Maxhell once and for all.

 

[jakesykora]

12 hours ago, defraudingjezebel said:

My guess is that they associate a regular deck of playing cards with gambling, which is a huge no-no. I remember growing up with a few friends whose families disallowed them from playing any games at all with playing cards, since it "introduces" them to the idea of gambling apparently. 

Which was why you used to find games like Uno and Rook being ok, since they were non-traditional card games/decks, while anything using traditional cards was out.

But I also know they've had kid deck versions of practically everything for ages (Animal Rummy, etc.) but one of the oldest in my mind had always been Go Fish

Strangely, it looks like they MAY be using one of the newer Go Fish kid-specific card sets, but playing it like Memory, only calling it Go Fish - which makes no sense!

Though with Steve involved on any level, it's shocking they're allowed any games, or that at the least he wouldn't try to convince them they should only do Noah's Ark Go Fish (which does exist)!

[nastyhobbitses]

49 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Just you, sinner! Chris would NEVER remove his cellphone from its holster for the sake of carnal pleasure. How on earth could he then be contacted if there should be a need for a  change to the Extended Family Schedule?! 

In other news, "Hi Steve".  Thanks for editing the Week Later Carolling Party to clarify that the interim week of ceiling fan dusting was scheduled to make the party "much more relaxing" not "much less stressful" as originally penned.  Glad that stress has been banished from Maxhell once and for all.

 

Now I am naked. Except for my cellphone holster. And you know when I'm down to just my cellphone holster what time it is...

[kpmom]

29 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Now I am naked. Except for my cellphone holster. And you know when I'm down to just my cellphone holster what time it is...

Oh God, I got a picture in my head of Christopher naked with only his cell phone holster.

Now I have to go look at pictures of kittens and rainbows to try to get that picture out of my mind.

[mango_fandango]

46 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Oh God, I got a picture in my head of Christopher naked with only his cell phone holster.

Now I have to go look at pictures of kittens and rainbows to try to get that picture out of my mind.

[Eternalbluepearl]

14 hours ago, blessalessi said:

I'm not sure which would be more stressful: keeping cranky kids up past their bedtime, under the judgemental eyes of Steve and Teri, or taking them home to bed while feeling the creeping dread that you have to go back and do it all again a week later.  :-\

But...they LOVE being together! No dread! 

I had a Go Fish deck of cards as a kid that looked similar to what the Maxwell's have. They had fish on them  but it wasn't because of anti-gambling rules, it was because I was 7. Maybe they are playing different rules to Go Fish. *shrug* Who knows. If anyone had the time and interest to learn alternate ways of playing a childhood game, it's them. 

[elliha]

As to the "go fish"-thing, they might put all the cards out and then everyone gets to pick 2-3 cards as their hand instead of dealing it. I had a friend who played it like this. Or they just play some odd reindeer game of their own...

[littlehouse]

But, but...where is the cell phone holster attached during sexy times?  Is he still wearing a belt?

Hold on tight Anna, you are in for a bumpy ride.

I will show myself out.

[MamaJunebug]

Can't quite believe I'm giving Steve's Spawn the benefit of the doubt, but I still love Memory matching games and can see the enjoyment of using the Go Fish deck that way.  Given that B & C are still fairly little, it makes sense to play it as a table game rather than have them hold s hand of cards. 

Edpecially if they're up past their bedtimes. 

AND hopped-up on a whole half a cookie apiece. 

...I can't stay generous-minded about Anything Stevian for too long...

But wrt Anna Marie ... going to say I've never gotten the vibe of prudishness from her. Gal grew up with farm animals; she knows what cooks!  Maybe it's the way she looks like she KNOWS more than she's letting on, with her grin in most photos. Nope -- I truly think Chris MORE than lucked out on getting paired with that one!