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Anna Duggar and the M Kids - Part 5


Coconut Flan

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Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't this another tabloid quote from 'a source close to the family'?

I believe she said it in one of the 3 specials. ...

Do you remember any of the context of what she was talking about around the time she said it, or what scenes might have been situated around that section? I don't recall her talking about visiting him in treatment or visa versa at all during the specials and I didn't find it in a skim through her THs just now.

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1 hour ago, ksgranola1 said:

I believe she said it in one of the 3 specials. The Duggars, for all their modesty & faining purity, do not seem the least bit embarrassed by sex or talk of it. Example; the mini golf humping. The chart of M'lle's cycle on the fridge; no doubt "disappearing" in the middle of the day. Telling the engaged daughters to "always be available." ick.

I wonder what they're going to say when we have a woman president.

that would be a paradox for them because if the woman is the president then her husband is the actual presitdent because submission. so in their logic this would probably be a front. the husband being the secret president and his wife must be obsessed by a demon for acting like the president.

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And: Anna said in the 2nd or 3rd special that she doesn't want to leave him because she would be turning a mess into a disaster! GIRL! It's not your responsibility if the mess turns into a disaster. It's Josh's fault, you had nothing to do with it. And, btw, this is already a disaster and not just a mess. It cannot possibly get worse for you or your children except if you continue to let him make babies with you to reach double digits and then leaving your young daugthers with him. Oh wait, that's your plan, isn't it?

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I have to wonder what would be the point at which Anna would decide enough is enough.
She's stayed with him and defended his character when the molestations became public fodder. And she's decided to stay with him after the AM scandal came out. She says she wants to be an example of God's love and forgiveness towards Josh. 
So she's basically become a martyr.
Would she make the same decision if he beat her? And what will she tell her daughters to do, should they end up in an abusive marriage some day? To suck it up and be an example too?
I do feel bad for Anna but I feel worse for her kids and the example she may be setting for them.

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How do the qf's approach martyrdom? I would guess that the associations with Catholicism would turn them off to the specific terminology, but they seem to love the idea of suffering for God. Is that another area where they are overtly hypocritical?

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1 hour ago, MyMilkshake said:

but I feel worse for her kids and the example she may be setting for them

This is exactly what I mean, I get a lot of push back on this IRL as well, people that I have spoken with about this just seem (IMO) to give her so much leeway due to upbringing/circumstance ect..

 

I understand that she is a sympathetic figure, but I also feel that she was pretty happy with the "lifestyle" that she was indoctrinated into. She married one of the most eligible fundies around, got right to work on her own brood, even copied Michelle with the single letter (M) names. Stood by her husband who went to work for a hate group and seemed pretty okay with being heavily involved with the whole 19kac show.

Then all hell broke loose. Well that was horrible, I genuinely mean that, I can not imagine myself being SO publically humiliated and all the influences that then told her how to deal with a really shitty situation.

I just would hope that at some point she would look at her daughters face and know deep down that she wanted more for her.

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11 minutes ago, Catey said:

This is exactly what I mean, I get a lot of push back on this IRL as well, people that I have spoken with about this just seem (IMO) to give her so much leeway due to upbringing/circumstance ect..

 

I understand that she is a sympathetic figure, but I also feel that she was pretty happy with the "lifestyle" that she was indoctrinated into. She married one of the most eligible fundies around, got right to work on her own brood, even copied Michelle with the single letter (M) names. Stood by her husband who went to work for a hate group and seemed pretty okay with being heavily involved with the whole 19kac show.

Then all hell broke loose. Well that was horrible, I genuinely mean that, I can not imagine myself being SO publically humiliated and all the influences that then told her how to deal with a really shitty situation.

I just would hope that at some point she would look at her daughters face and know deep down that she wanted more for her.

For me that would be the breaking point, absolutely, but we're thinking logically here and that is not an ability you have when you've been in a cult since birth.  

 

 

 

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For Anna, leaving Josh is basically turning the mess he made into a disaster for her, though.  Sure, she could get short-term help, but at the end of the day, she's got 4 kids, no education and no way to support herself and her kids for the long haul.  I haven't followed it all that closely, but the last I heard, the house she and Josh had bought had been sold and/or it was owned by one of the Duggar companies, meaning that Anna would have no claim to it in any divorce proceedings.  Josh is unemployed, so while he might be ordered to pay child/spousal support, you can't squeeze blood from a turnip.  JB has absolutely zero legal obligation to support Anna or her kids.  He's doing so because she's chosen to stay in the fold.  If she left, there would be no money or other support and she'd lose a lot of the support of her parents and the support of the Duggars, who, like it or not, have been her family for the last however many years.  To say nothing of the fact that she'd lose her kids, at least part time, since I seriously doubt Anna would have the resources to mount a full on custody battle for sole custody.  And that doesn't even touch on the psychological impact of having her entire worldview and life's goal of being a mother and wife stripped away.

It's a no brainer for her:  stay and keep your kids, your family, a comfortable life style and your faith or leave and lose it all. Of course she stayed and doubled down on the koolaid.  It's over for Anna.  She will never leave, not even when Josh starts up with the cheating again, which he will.  I think the best that anyone can hope for Anna is that she eventually realizes she wants her kids - or daughters, anyway - to have more options and insists on them all getting an actual education and having access to actual opportunities.  I mean, they will always be raised in an uber Conservative Christian lifestyle, but many kids raised that way go to public or private school and real college and everything.  Since she's been exposed to that in DC, I think it's probably a real option down the line.   

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1 minute ago, Hera said:

For Anna, leaving Josh is basically turning the mess he made into a disaster for her, though.  Sure, she could get short-term help, but at the end of the day, she's got 4 kids, no education and no way to support herself and her kids for the long haul.  I haven't followed it all that closely, but the last I heard, the house she and Josh had bought had been sold and/or it was owned by one of the Duggar companies, meaning that Anna would have no claim to it in any divorce proceedings.  Josh is unemployed, so while he might be ordered to pay child/spousal support, you can't squeeze blood from a turnip.  JB has absolutely zero legal obligation to support Anna or her kids.  He's doing so because she's chosen to stay in the fold.  If she left, there would be no money or other support and she'd lose a lot of the support of her parents and the support of the Duggars, who, like it or not, have been her family for the last however many years.  To say nothing of the fact that she'd lose her kids, at least part time, since I seriously doubt Anna would have the resources to mount a full on custody battle for sole custody.  And that doesn't even touch on the psychological impact of having her entire worldview and life's goal of being a mother and wife stripped away.

It's a no brainer for her:  stay and keep your kids, your family, a comfortable life style and your faith or leave and lose it all. Of course she stayed and doubled down on the koolaid.  It's over for Anna.  She will never leave, not even when Josh starts up with the cheating again, which he will.  I think the best that anyone can hope for Anna is that she eventually realizes she wants her kids - or daughters, anyway - to have more options and insists on them all getting an actual education and having access to actual opportunities.  I mean, they will always be raised in an uber Conservative Christian lifestyle, but many kids raised that way go to public or private school and real college and everything.  Since she's been exposed to that in DC, I think it's probably a real option down the line.   

Why would she lose her kids? Just because one partner asks for sole custody doesn't mean they'd get it. Money doesn't buy "sole custody." A judge is unlikely to take four very young kids away from their mother, who is innocent of any wrongdoing, simply because the father asks for it. In fact, fathers do ask for sole custody, as a manipulative technique, in many divorce actions, just to scare the mother. That doesn't mean they get it.

The standard is the "best interest of the child." Most likely, that would mean joint custody. Josh cheated, but he did not commit a crime. There are lots of cheaters out there.

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4 minutes ago, Hera said:

For Anna, leaving Josh is basically turning the mess he made into a disaster for her, though.  Sure, she could get short-term help, but at the end of the day, she's got 4 kids, no education and no way to support herself and her kids for the long haul.  I haven't followed it all that closely, but the last I heard, the house she and Josh had bought had been sold and/or it was owned by one of the Duggar companies, meaning that Anna would have no claim to it in any divorce proceedings.  Josh is unemployed, so while he might be ordered to pay child/spousal support, you can't squeeze blood from a turnip.  JB has absolutely zero legal obligation to support Anna or her kids.  He's doing so because she's chosen to stay in the fold.  If she left, there would be no money or other support and she'd lose a lot of the support of her parents and the support of the Duggars, who, like it or not, have been her family for the last however many years.  To say nothing of the fact that she'd lose her kids, at least part time, since I seriously doubt Anna would have the resources to mount a full on custody battle for sole custody.  And that doesn't even touch on the psychological impact of having her entire worldview and life's goal of being a mother and wife stripped away.

It's a no brainer for her:  stay and keep your kids, your family, a comfortable life style and your faith or leave and lose it all. Of course she stayed and doubled down on the koolaid.  It's over for Anna.  She will never leave, not even when Josh starts up with the cheating again, which he will.  I think the best that anyone can hope for Anna is that she eventually realizes she wants her kids - or daughters, anyway - to have more options and insists on them all getting an actual education and having access to actual opportunities.  I mean, they will always be raised in an uber Conservative Christian lifestyle, but many kids raised that way go to public or private school and real college and everything.  Since she's been exposed to that in DC, I think it's probably a real option down the line.   

I'm not sure that Josh, wanting to make sure not to rock any more boats, would be willing to send the kids to school before college. But I could see both of them moving away from ATI curriculum into other Christian curriculums or even k-12. I could also see them hiring a private tutor (one with a degree) or something along those lines to give the children a better at-home education. I'm sure both he and Anna have seen the flaws in the system they were raised in. I mean, Anna can't support the family any mor than Josh can at this point. And, Josh is the guy who wanted nothing more than to be a lawyer. 

I think Josh may have been willing to do homeschooling differently before (or even willing to put his children in a real school), but he may have faced opposition from Anna who was perfectly content in the lifestyle she was raised in. I'm not sure Anna would oppose the idea anymore, though. 

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15 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Why would she lose her kids? Just because one partner asks for sole custody doesn't mean they'd get it. Money doesn't buy "sole custody." A judge is unlikely to take four very young kids away from their mother, who is innocent of any wrongdoing, simply because the father asks for it. In fact, fathers do ask for sole custody, as a manipulative technique, in many divorce actions, just to scare the mother. That doesn't mean they get it.

The standard is the "best interest of the child." Most likely, that would mean joint custody. Josh cheated, but he did not commit a crime. There are lots of cheaters out there.

Probably should have been more clear - that's what I meant by the "at least part time" part.  She likely wouldn't get sole custody without visitation (even if she had the money to fight for it), so for at least part of the time, they'd be away from her and with Josh.  In that case, she wouldn't be with them or even see them every day, every holiday, etc.  

11 minutes ago, DuggarsTheEndIsNear said:

I'm not sure that Josh, wanting to make sure not to rock any more boats, would be willing to send the kids to school before college. But I could see both of them moving away from ATI curriculum into other Christian curriculums or even k-12. I could also see them hiring a private tutor (one with a degree) or something along those lines to give the children a better at-home education. I'm sure both he and Anna have seen the flaws in the system they were raised in. I mean, Anna can't support the family any mor than Josh can at this point. And, Josh is the guy who wanted nothing more than to be a lawyer. 

I think Josh may have been willing to do homeschooling differently before (or even willing to put his children in a real school), but he may have faced opposition from Anna who was perfectly content in the lifestyle she was raised in. I'm not sure Anna would oppose the idea anymore, though. 

I agree and think that Josh and Anna both got some real inkling of how limited Josh was by his lack of proper education during their experiences in DC.  I can see them going the private Christian school route for the higher grades and I can see the kids eventually going to colleges - even "real" ones.  I would hope that Ben and Derrick, both of whom have something resembling real educations, would also see the value in that approach, as well.  At some point, someone in the Duggar clan besides JB is going to have to step up and earn a real income or else they're all completely and totally fucked.  Even if they do get picked up for another show, 20 years from now, TLC isn't going to be around to feed the exponentially growing masses.

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6 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

I believe she said it in one of the 3 specials. The Duggars, for all their modesty & faining purity, do not seem the least bit embarrassed by sex or talk of it. Example; the mini golf humping. The chart of M'lle's cycle on the fridge; no doubt "disappearing" in the middle of the day. Telling the engaged daughters to "always be available." ick.

I wonder what they're going to say when we have a woman president.

I have NEVER watched a reality show (except maybe Jersey Shore :P ) where sex came up as much as with the Duggars. For the NIKE family they like to portray they are, they all constantly talk or allude to it...it's the weirdest thing how much they seem to focus on it (on their show. Not saying sex is bad. Obviously.:my_biggrin:)

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If Josh & Anna stay ultra fundie, I'm trying to imagine what will happen when their girls are of marriageable age.  What fundie guy is going to want to warm up to Josh, and convince him he's pure, in order to get his approval for a courtship?

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24 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

If Josh & Anna stay ultra fundie, I'm trying to imagine what will happen when their girls are of marriageable age.  What fundie guy is going to want to warm up to Josh, and convince him he's pure, in order to get his approval for a courtship?

And if the guy was a convert to the fundie world and wasn't pure, what's Joshie going to say?   After all, he without sin (even if has been 'forgiven') is still sin.  

Another thought:  Maybe Joshie learned to please a woman during his wanderings and now Anna really has a reason to smile.   :my_biggrin:

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1 hour ago, MakeItSo said:

I have NEVER watched a reality show (except maybe Jersey Shore :P ) where sex came up as much as with the Duggars. For the NIKE family they like to portray they are, they all constantly talk or allude to it...it's the weirdest thing how much they seem to focus on it (on their show. Not saying sex is bad. Obviously.:my_biggrin:)

I agree and JB's leers to me were "dirty". They made me uncomfortable. As well as the mini golf humping. All completely strange. So the men can be satisfied at their whim. Which pisses me off. 

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1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

If Josh & Anna stay ultra fundie, I'm trying to imagine what will happen when their girls are of marriageable age.  What fundie guy is going to want to warm up to Josh, and convince him he's pure, in order to get his approval for a courtship?

I just imagined Smuggar giving his boys "the talk" before their wedding one day:my_cry: or just in general, I wonder what their boys and especially their girls will think one day when they find out about all this because as a boy that might make you want to work hard not to end up like daddy and as a girl that would probably seriously make you question your dad's judgement in who would make a suitable husband one day -__-

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9 hours ago, missegeno said:

I believe she said it in one of the 3 specials. ...

Do you remember any of the context of what she was talking about around the time she said it, or what scenes might have been situated around that section? I don't recall her talking about visiting him in treatment or visa versa at all during the specials and I didn't find it in a skim through her THs just now.

nah. it's just a quote from a "source" in People.  http://www.people.com/article/josh-duggar-kids-miss-him-christmas I know people is usually more reputable than the average gossip mag, but i find it hard to accept as a quote anything that was reported secondhand from an anonymous source. 

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I believe she said it in one of the 3 specials. ...

Do you remember any of the context of what she was talking about around the time she said it, or what scenes might have been situated around that section? I don't recall her talking about visiting him in treatment or visa versa at all during the specials and I didn't find it in a skim through her THs just now.

nah. it's just a quote from a "source" in People.  http://www.people.com/article/josh-duggar-kids-miss-him-christmas I know people is usually more reputable than the average gossip mag, but i find it hard to accept as a quote anything that was reported secondhand from an anonymous source. 

Thank you! I could have sworn it wasn't anything I gave any credence to (stupid quote boxes got messed up for that first line). I never trust those random sources.

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3 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

nah. it's just a quote from a "source" in People.  http://www.people.com/article/josh-duggar-kids-miss-him-christmas I know people is usually more reputable than the average gossip mag, but i find it hard to accept as a quote anything that was reported secondhand from an anonymous source. 

If it is true, that's pretty sad. I can't imagine much happiness surrounding Jesus prison. 

Eta: I guess it COULD be the happiest if she was able to take claim over herself and her body, denying him anything he wanted. I could see that being liberating. 

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No idea if it's made up or not, but the sentiment is credible to me.  I can see how after all she has been through, seeing Josh in Jesus Rehab, spouting all the right things about recommitting and love and fidelity and babies and blah, blah, blah might be the most hopeful, if not really happiest, that Anna has been, at least in a while. Don't forget, she's not looking at it through the same lens we are.  She believes with all her heart that Josh's reprogramming rehab is going to work and they really will live happily ever after.  Besides, what else would she say?  It's not like she can say that it was rough or sad or trying or anything even remotely negative.  Gothard wouldn't approve. 

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Maybe, just maybe (we can only hope), when Anna went to visit Josh in Jesus jail and "had the best three days" she laid down the law. Maybe she is in control now. Perhaps she told Josh...

"I will stay with you and stand by you, but in return you will straighten up and fly right. I will stay with your parents while you finish "rehab", then you will come home, find a job, find us a place to live away from your parents. You must agree that the kids go to "real" school when they are old enough and I will NEVER have any more kids with you. If you cheat again then hell will rain down on you. If you choose not to abide by my rules, then I will take the kids, contact a ghost writer and a publisher and the Duggar secrets will be aired for all the world to read"

Ok, OK, I know this is all a pipe dream...but everyone needs a dream don't they?

 

 

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57 minutes ago, Chickenbutt said:

Maybe, just maybe (we can only hope), when Anna went to visit Josh in Jesus jail and "had the best three days" she laid down the law. Maybe she is in control now. Perhaps she told Josh...

"I will stay with you and stand by you, but in return you will straighten up and fly right. I will stay with your parents while you finish "rehab", then you will come home, find a job, find us a place to live away from your parents. You must agree that the kids go to "real" school when they are old enough and I will NEVER have any more kids with you. If you cheat again then hell will rain down on you. If you choose not to abide by my rules, then I will take the kids, contact a ghost writer and a publisher and the Duggar secrets will be aired for all the world to read"

Ok, OK, I know this is all a pipe dream...but everyone needs a dream don't they?

 

 

Hahaha I can see her laying down the law, but I don't think it would be that law..... 

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13 hours ago, MyMilkshake said:


Would she make the same decision if he beat her? And what will she tell her daughters to do, should they end up in an abusive marriage some day? To suck it up and be an example too?
I do feel bad for Anna but I feel worse for her kids and the example she may be setting for them.

THIS x1000. I got out of my relationship because of my kids. After 2 or 3 times I finally realized this is not what I want for my kids. I would NEVER want them to stay in a relationship like this. I also wouldn't want them to think it is okay to do either. I have told my ex that as well. 

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4 hours ago, downtherabbithole said:

THIS x1000. I got out of my relationship because of my kids. After 2 or 3 times I finally realized this is not what I want for my kids. I would NEVER want them to stay in a relationship like this. I also wouldn't want them to think it is okay to do either. I have told my ex that as well. 

My BIL had an affair for a year before he owned up and repented. My SIL incredibly gave him another chance. They went to therapy. He went back to his lover while in therapy. She let him off the hook and they kept working at the marriage. He cheated again. She threw him out. 

He did everything to deserve it and she did everything to prevent it. And yet... Nobody wanted this result. He is heartbroken to have lost his family. He was a nice dad. She is picking up the pieces of her heart. The kids have lost a stable base. 

Now he realises the cost and would give everything to turn back the clock. But I agree with you, there has to be a limit.

Sometimes I wonder, had the results of his cheating been more immediate (six months of Jesus camp) would he have come to his senses before it was too late?

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