Bates Family Part 7

[grandmadugger]

42 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

I think it's harder for Grandma Mary because her husband's died and she lives with the Duggars. It's easier to be like Mama Jane when you're living in your own place, not with all the grandchildren.

I don't know my grandma moved in with my parents when my grandpa died.  She was like Mama Jane, she'd toss a shoe if she'd told you to knock it off and you didn't.

[Snarkle]

Since it was noted that Alyssa was noticeably absent in the most recent episode, she may have decided to pull back on her participation (perhaps also on advice of her father-in-law, because at least on social media she can control what's out there).  Or maybe she just is too far away to participate.  Either way there's definitely no way she or John will be mentioning any of this (her father-in-law's Congressional seat is in jeopardy and that makes me giddy with glee):

interactive.orlandosentinel.com/florida-redistricting-2015/daniel-webster/

[mango_fandango]

17 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

I don't know my grandma moved in with my parents when my grandpa died.  She was like Mama Jane, she'd toss a shoe if she'd told you to knock it off and you didn't.

Fair. But I also sense that Michelle and Boob would be more like "you live in our house you adopt our rules" kind of thing. Maybe Grandma Duggar is a bit more passive (for want of a better word) or just puts up with things more, IDK. 

[grandmadugger]

Just now, mango_fandango said:

Fair. But I also sense that Michelle and Boob would be more like "you live in our house you adopt our rules" kind of thing. Maybe Grandma Duggar is a bit more passive (for want of a better word) or just puts up with things more, IDK. 

Oh I'm sure JB & M are all "Our house our rules we don't care how old you are.

[Snarkle]

1 minute ago, grandmadugger said:

Oh I'm sure JB & M are all "Our house our rules we don't care how old you are.

Well Mama Jane, thankfully for her, isn't under the patriarchal rule of protection of the husband/father like Grandma Mary (or in her case her son JB since her husband died).  Mama Jane would still have spunk as a widow, and her son and daughter who live nearby would be there for her without expecting her to submit to them.

[mango_fandango]

Yep. Didn't Kelly say that when the kids are living at home, they live under their parents' rules, but once they're married they can be trusted to make their own rules? Alyssa wears tank tops and short skirts (well, shorter, not seen anything micro-like on her yet) and pants now, and Allie wears pants a lot. However, Alyssa's still fundie and all that which I suppose is the Bateses' main thing, i.e. Alyssa hasn't dropped her faith. 

[Snarkle]

Well Mama Jane & Papa Bill are some flavor of Christianity, and Gil's brother's family belongs to a Christian homeschool co-op group (I believe) - your basic Southern Christians.  Gil & Kelly just took it to a new batshit crazy level with IBLP/ATI.  

[roddma]

Im not surprised Whitney is pregnant again. I had her first on the list to be pregnant again. It amazes me a seemingly normal person can dive head first into Quiverfull/ no birth control fretting over negative pregnancy tests.

[LurkerOverThePond]

I find it interesting that Alyssa has told many times (at least on her IG) how much she loves and respects Mama Jane, and she named Allie Jane after her. That and the fact that she has distanced herself from her crazy family at least to a some degree makes me have a little bit of hope for her in the future. She will probably never become liberal gay rights advocate, at least not with that father-in-law, but she seems to desire a little less hectic life for her family. I can see her teaching Allie Jane to respect other people's property and privacy since that is what she wants for herself (remember when the whole clan visited A&J's home for the first time and Kelly told the kids to respect A's rules at her home).

[nastyhobbitses]

32 minutes ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I find it interesting that Alyssa has told many times (at least on her IG) how much she loves and respects Mama Jane, and she named Allie Jane after her. That and the fact that she has distanced herself from her crazy family at least to a some degree makes me have a little bit of hope for her in the future. She will probably never become liberal gay rights advocate, at least not with that father-in-law, but she seems to desire a little less hectic life for her family. I can see her teaching Allie Jane to respect other people's property and privacy since that is what she wants for herself (remember when the whole clan visited A&J's home for the first time and Kelly told the kids to respect A's rules at her home).

Yeah, I think that Alyssa never wanted the Quiverfull life. I really hope that her choices rub off on her siblings and they see that you can still keep your faith (which, much as we wish she'd become an LGBT rights-supporting feminist, is still very important to her and her family) and love your family while still making your own path in life, and that not everyone is suited for living in a house with tons and tons of people all running around all the time.

Also, I really want Grandma Mary to hang out with Mama Jane and trade war stories of dealing with their badly behaved grandchildren.

[hollywood]

I do see Alyssa wanting some privacy, especially since she has a private instagram aside from her public one for the show. Also when she first was asked she said she doesn't want 20 kids, maybe 10. Then she said she doesn't want them visiting all at once all the time without calling. I can see her leaving fundie and just being a hardcore Christian.

[nastyhobbitses]

45 minutes ago, hollywood said:

I do see Alyssa wanting some privacy, especially since she has a private instagram aside from her public one for the show. Also when she first was asked she said she doesn't want 20 kids, maybe 10. Then she said she doesn't want them visiting all at once all the time without calling. I can see her leaving fundie and just being a hardcore Christian.

I can see that too. I think she's already on that path. I think Carlin will eventually follow suit once she's a bit older (and then she can get her BFF Joy-Anna to do it too!)

[Gimme a Free RV]

Back to the comment about leaving NY to live in TN:

As I sit here sipping my coffee, in my quiet neighborhood, looking at the woods in back of my house, where deer occasionally peek out and delight me with their beauty, I can tell you, TN is just a horrible place to live.  Especially the area where the Bates are.  Yes, the fresh air and the lakes and mountains (which, as we all know, NY state has absolutely none of) and the lovely scenery.  It's just awful.  However, for those who hate the rural life, fret not!  East TN is home to drug abuse (meth labs and pain killer fraud, of note), traffic jams and abundant shopping and a major university (Knoxville), and practically everything  a place like NYC has to offer, including the diversity, just in smaller doses with a smaller population.

Yeah, it's just horrid living in TN, especially in the Appalachian Mountains, near the dreadfully dull Smokies.

[nastyhobbitses]

5 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

Back to the comment about leaving NY to live in TN:

As I sit here sipping my coffee, in my quiet neighborhood, looking at the woods in back of my house, where deer occasionally peek out and delight me with their beauty, I can tell you, TN is just a horrible place to live.  Especially the area where the Bates are.  Yes, the fresh air and the lakes and mountains (which, as we all know, NY state has absolutely none of) and the lovely scenery.  It's just awful.  However, for those who hate the rural life, fret not!  East TN is home to drug abuse (meth labs and pain killer fraud, of note), traffic jams and abundant shopping and a major university (Knoxville), and practically everything  a place like NYC has to offer, including the diversity, just in smaller doses with a smaller population.

Yeah, it's just horrid living in TN, especially in the Appalachian Mountains, near the dreadfully dull Smokies.

I would be OK with living in TN (especially Nashville or Knoxville, maybe Memphis if there was a good job there), since the Smoky Mountains are lovely and the cost of living is certainly lower than most large cities, but my one bugaboo is that I don't like to drive and prefer living in a place where I can walk or take public transportation for most or all of my day-to-day needs. Living in a city where I'd need to drive to do anything would drive me crazy.

[nokidsmom]

With 19 kids, the chances are highly unlikely that all of them 19 will continue down the QF/fundie path.  There's bound to the ones who who will remain true believers and others who will waste no time shaking off their parent's rules once out of the family house.  Just look at Joshley.   Anyhoo, Alyssa is clearly making her own choices while still loving her family and also, more importantly, setting some boundaries too such has requiring that the family call before all showing up.   So what if she never becomes some super liberal feminist.   Even as a conservative Christian, there's still lots of room for her to grow, such has limiting her family, deciding to get a job or encourage her daughter to get a real education, etc.

I think it's prudent on her part to limit her participation on the show.   Perhaps it is because of her father in law's job but somehow I think she really wants her privacy and also control over what is put out there.  Living under her parents' roof she might not have been on board with their decisions on what to put out there on the show but of course, she would not have a say in that household.

I still think Zach and Alyssa are caving out their own paths in their own ways versus Cherin and Michael who will follow their parent's paths as much as they are able.  

[Gimme a Free RV]

@nastyhobbitses, that is one thing that IMO only, is lacking in much of the southern US--adequate and reliable public transportation.  I have lived in and visited large cities in the US and abroad where no personal vehicle was needed to get where I needed to go.  When I moved back to the States, I couldn't really afford a car because I didn't yet have a job, but I couldn't get a job unless I had a car!

[nastyhobbitses]

1 minute ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

@nastyhobbitses, that is one thing that IMO only, is lacking in much of the southern US--adequate and reliable public transportation.  I have lived in and visited large cities in the US and abroad where no personal vehicle was needed to get where I needed to go.  When I moved back to the States, I couldn't really afford a car because I didn't yet have a job, but I couldn't get a job unless I had a car!

This! I actually prefer rural China to rural US, since in rural China, most people still can't afford cars, so the general way of getting around is to stand on the side of the road and wait for a "mianbaoche" (bread roll car - a minivan) that makes regular stops on a rough route to pull over and pick you up. You tell the driver where you're going, give him maybe 2 USD at the most if it's far, and he'll drop you/anyone else going there off. Or if you're in a village where everyone knows each other, eventually someone you know will drive or motorbike past and offer you a ride. Not as fancy as the Tube or the Paris Metro, but way better than needing to plunk down $10,000 plus insurance plus gas plus maintenance just to go to the damn grocery store.

[treemom]

23 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I would be OK with living in TN (especially Nashville or Knoxville, maybe Memphis if there was a good job there), since the Smoky Mountains are lovely and the cost of living is certainly lower than most large cities, but my one bugaboo is that I don't like to drive and prefer living in a place where I can walk or take public transportation for most or all of my day-to-day needs. Living in a city where I'd need to drive to do anything would drive me crazy.

That's a problem in most of the US not some problem with Tennessee.  

Since I was the one who originally said something about Tennesse not being that bad, I should be clear why.  I am tri-lingual, lived abroad, have been to around 40 different countries at this point.  While I wouldn't want to live in the country, I wouldn't want to do that anywhere (even the tri state area of NY has country side). 

This idea that you aren't cosmopolitan, or educated, or smart, or have experienced the world if you live in TN is bullshit.  It isn't about TN at all, it's about the people and the desire you have.

 

19 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

@nastyhobbitses, that is one thing that IMO only, is lacking in much of the southern US--adequate and reliable public transportation.  I have lived in and visited large cities in the US and abroad where no personal vehicle was needed to get where I needed to go.  When I moved back to the States, I couldn't really afford a car because I didn't yet have a job, but I couldn't get a job unless I had a car!

That isn't the south, that's an everywhere problem.  There are probably 7 or 8 us cities that have good public transportation.  

[Thorns]

I've been binge-watching Bringing up Bates the entire day. After watching all the duggar madness, and only the United Bates of America that is on Youtube, I just have to say - wow, that is one very attractive rabbit hole. All bright and shiny and hiding the dark and twisty -ness inside. I can totally see the appeals for a lot of people (even me, as a convicted agnostic!), and frankly, that scares the living daylight outta me.. 

[picklepizzas]

9 minutes ago, Thorns said:

I've been binge-watching Bringing up Bates the entire day. After watching all the duggar madness, and only the United Bates of America that is on Youtube, I just have to say - wow, that is one very attractive rabbit hole. All bright and shiny and hiding the dark and twisty -ness inside. I can totally see the appeals for a lot of people (even me, as a convicted agnostic!), and frankly, that scares the living daylight outta me.. 

Never watched United bates - do they appear less attractive/likeable on that show? I'm curious about how much they changed their onscreen personas between the two shows. 

[19 cats and counting]

There are a few episodes of United Bates on Youtube.  

As for TN/NY thing.  I'm originally from just outside of NYC (Westchester) and I've been to the Bronx several times (I happen to be a fan of a baseball team that plays there).  I've also lived in seven different states for work which was everything from urban to rural.  One of the districts I worked in bordered TN (a town about 10 miles away from where I lived had one street that was half VA and half TN so crossing the street meant checking another state off my list.   TN also has more liberal liquor laws, so if we wanted to go to a bar, we went to TN).  But my extent of visiting the state did not take me off of the border street.

As for a New Yorker adjusting to that part of the country.  At Ashley's age I would have had a hard time doing so.  Now I could and I'm looking to move to a more rural area, but north not south.  I just could not handle another southern summer.  (I can tolerate cold very well but after the thermometer reaches about 80, I get stir crazy and VERY cranky).  

[accountingstar]

If anyone is interested here's Gil's sister-in-law, Casey, blog:

http://bumpinalongtheroadlesstraveled.blogspot.com

This is the family with five children and they live on the farm.

Papa Bill and Mama Jane have some money and are Methodist. I knew that Papa Bill was a judge, but I just learned that Mama Jane was a nurse.

Quote

The Bates, who are now retired from nursing and the local judicial system, never expected their son and his family to experience something akin to celebrity status. In fact, it is something that Gil and Kelly Jo, struggle with, they said.

After all, Gil grew up in Honea Path, not Hollywood. His siblings still live on the same street as their parents, each of them choosing to have their homes on a portion of the Bates' 80-acre farm just off S.C. 252 near Honea Path.

His mother is a retired nurse and his father was an Anderson County magistrate judge for years. Bill's mother, Sarah Bates, was the leader of the Anderson County Salvation Army for years.

Gil and his two siblings learned how to work at the store, Craytonville Grocery, that their parents owned for 18 years.

Soon, their oldest son came home and told them that he had accepted Christ into his life and wanted to attend Austin Road Baptist Church. Up until then, he had attended Methodist churches in Anderson and Honea Path with the rest of his family.

At first, the request stung, Jane and Bill said, because he was moving to a different church. However, they were thankful for that turning point in his life.

"It has been a blessing," Jane said. "It changed his life completely."

http://www.independentmail.com/features/honea-path-couple-their-son-featured-in-new-television-show-united-bates-of-america-ep-407868706-348324271.html

 

[Thorns]

34 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

Never watched United bates - do they appear less attractive/likeable on that show? I'm curious about how much they changed their onscreen personas between the two shows. 

Well, in the few episodes I've seen of United bates, it is much the same. But BuB is more streamlined in a way, more professional maybe? And surprisingly little Jesus. 

[apple1]

21 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

I've wondered about the move to Texas, they don't like to play with cults.

Actually, TX is somewhat of a haven for cults. Check out Church of Wells - who have been permitted to pretty much take over the community of Wells, TX with almost no restrictions - and who were not held to any accountability in the death of a newborn, and who allowed the statute of limitations to expire on said death.

[Gimme a Free RV]

24 minutes ago, 19 cats and counting said:

One of the districts I worked in bordered TN (a town about 10 miles away from where I lived had one street that was half VA and half TN so crossing the street meant checking another state off my list.  

My high school band marched in a parade on that street and we thought it was so cool that half of us were marching in VA while the other half was in TN.