Christian Couple Who Spank Denied Foster Child

[blessalessi]

29 minutes ago, roddma said:

Not intending to start debate about the 'right to spank' your own kids, but [insert long debate....]

Oh FFS.  

 

2 minutes ago, EmmieJ said:

The way to raise decent human beings is to treat them with decency.  The way to raise bullies and jerks is to teach them that might equals right.

[GiggleOfGirls]

Good. They should be denied. 

Really, there are many different potential interpretations of those verses - especially for Christians who realize that the book of Proverbs isn't, yanno, a book of laws - and I've met plenty (especially recently) of Christians who don't believe it's Biblical to spank. Perhaps these folks should've looked into the other possible interpretations of those Proverbs verses if they cared that much about fostering/adopting. All it takes is a quick google search to turn them up!

[Georgiana]

I wish I could meet all these people who firmly believe that the laws of the Bible should be respected and obeyed in the Modern World.

I've got some neighboring nations I'd love to sell them to!

[patsymae]

8 hours ago, blessalessi said:

The idea of having "the right to adopt" is bizarre to me.  

Adoption is a role for which we may apply and for which we may or may not be approved.

No-one has any automatic right to raise children that are being looked-after by the state, surely?

Thank you. No one has the "right" to another person's child.

[Mercer]

I do think people have the right not to be denied for adoption for reasons that are discriminatory, like sexual orientation, race, religion, etc. That doesn't mean they should have a child placed in their home if they aren't a good match for that child, but basically they shouldn't be kicked out of the pool due solely to prejudice.

That said, this couple was not discriminated against due to their religion. It is perfectly legal for Christians to adopt, and the department did not in any way attempt to change their beliefs. The department simply said that due to their chosen behaviors, they are ineligible to adopt because they refuse to follow the guidelines established for the well-being of the children in care. They would not have this barrier to adoption if they agreed to follow policy, even if they didn't change their religious beliefs whatsoever.

It is not discriminatory to be denied for failure to follow the rules, even if you attempt to put a "religious" spin on why you are choosing not to do so. 

[iheartchacos]

Very interesting. I'm in Texas and pretty sure all the families I know involved in foster care spank their bios. My placement and I are getting just fine without corporal punishment, thank you very much.

[SoybeanQueen]

10 hours ago, blessalessi said:

No-one has any automatic right to raise children that are being looked-after by the state, surely?

No, they don't. They have to apply and be approved, which they will not be because they won't comply with the rules. That's why they've tried to get the courts to change the rules, but, as you can see, it isn't working that well for them.

What you described regarding foster care is very similar to the US. Applications, background checks, must agree to the rules, there is a monthly stipend for the care of the child, etc. Classes are required prior to being approved, as well, so there are no surprises about the rules or potential behaviors of traumatized kids. Adoption is not guaranteed, even if you take a child as a foster-adoption placement, or as an adoptive placement (until finalization, when they're yours forever).

4 hours ago, roddma said:

I guess i read too many stories of kids roughing up adults, threatening violence, destroy property, hit other kids etc because they know the adults will do nothing back.

Some of my kids wish I would just spank them instead of other consequences. They've dealt with worse, anyway, and they would rather not lose privileges or earn extra chores. Their behavior when they were receiving physical discipline was not good. Now, they're not perfect, of course, because they're kids, but "would you like to change X behavior or discuss not attending the dance this weekend?" is incredibly effective. Or changing the wifi password until chores are done. If you can only guide behavior through physical discipline, or you raise kids who only respond to physical discipline, how does that translate to the real world? You have to smack a coworker to get them to follow a rule?

Even my 4 year old can change behavior without being hit.

[moodygirl86]

Good. I'm glad common sense has prevailed. My brother's ex-wife went through the UK foster care system as a child. She'd already been through enough crap with her natural parents without jumping from the frying pan into the fire. She told me it was nerve-wracking enough being placed with a new family even if they're nothing but kind to you (which her foster mum was), so I dread to think how it would have affected her if this woman had smacked her.