Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 4

[Koala]

Yes, I especially liked this part:

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If  you deeply love the Lord and His ways, you shouldn't get offended with what I teach. It amazes me how many "Christian" women are offended by what I teach.

To love the Lord, you must agree with Lori Alexander.  That's Bible right there.  Oh wait....no it's not.

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If what I teach offends you, check your heart to make sure you are open to the ways of the Lord or just maybe, you are feeling convicted about something.

Again she equates her teaching with The Lord.

Even more startling is the exchange she had with a new mom in the comment section:

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In terms of being submissive.... My issue is how to balance? My son just turned one and I stay at home with him and he's incredibly needy and wants all my attention. My husband told me last night he feels abandoned which breaks my heart but at the same time.... I have to take care of the baby! I just don't know how to take care of the baby and at the same time give my husband attention. I don't know how women with lots of kids do it all... I have one and I feel like I'm drowning!

Lori Alexander:

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Can't you put the child to bed early in the evening so you can spend the rest of the time with your husband? You must not neglect your husband! Is your child not well-behaved? If he is not, I encourage you to get "To Train Up a Child" and read it. And NO, they don't promote abuse in any way as many accuse them of. It's very biblical what they teach but most in our society hate the Word and what it teaches. My children were in bed by 7:00 when they were young.

Keep in mind, this baby just turned one.  

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My son is just incredibly clingy. I've been trying to work with him by not picking him up immediately but he screams and cries and has started thowing little tantrums until I do. So somethings definitely got to change. It's becoming a source of stress in the family. He does go to bed pretty early but im just so zapped i want to be left alone which i know is not right but im "touched out" .... I'll read that book for sure! Thank you for the suggestion.

Lori suggests a battles of wills...with a baby just one year old:

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Each of our children only had one tantrum and that was it. We dealt with it immediately. It would take several hours of Ken and I taking turns but you must win that first battle of wills or you will always struggle with child raising. They need to know very early that they are not the boss of the home and they do not get their way whenever they want, especially when they throw a tantrum which should never be allowed.

The conversation goes on.  The mom buys what they tell her...it's heartbreaking.  That poor baby...he has no idea what he's in for.  It just breaks this mama's heart.

[salex]

I would not be surprised if Lori and Ken haven 't church hopped in the past, because they know the bible better than anyone, after all.  Any minister who disagreed with them on any dogma would no doubt be abandoned. 

But, she was on the radio and "guest blogs" maybe she thought she would offer her expertise on marriage to various churches.  I bet only the apostate ones rejected her. 

 

 

 

[sawasdee]

@Koala, what is so horrifying is that a mother may take her advice about 'To Train Up A Child' without googling to see other opinions - and may be deep enough in the KoolAid to accept the horrors that book advocates, in the interests of putting her husband before her child.(Selfish sod that he is - can't he let his own kid have some proper parenting?)

[Koala]

This woman tried to impart Lori's "teaching" on a friend:

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She basically told me I was just promoting hate (!!!!) And I would be stupid to believe this stuff. It turns out she is very passionate about gay marriage rights and transgender people being treated with love. 

Dear God in  heaven, she's passionate about treating transgender people with love! The horrors.  Wonder what kind of crazy book she got that idea from?   It's not like Jesus or someone said that the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself.  Oh wait...he did say that!  

 

 

[docmom]

35 minutes ago, Koala said:

This woman tried to impart Lori's "teaching" on a friend:

Dear God in  heaven, she's passionate about treating transgender people with love! The horrors.  Wonder what kind of crazy book she got that idea from?   It's not like Jesus or someone said that the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself.  Oh wait...he did say that!  

 

 

If we start treating people who are different from us with love where'll that land us?  Harmony, peace, fewer wars???  Maybe people won't need as much orthodontia and Ken won't make as much money and Lori won't be able to afford her housekeeper?

It's a slippery slope, Koala.

[desertvixen]

@Koala, of course Lori doesn't suggest the dad pitch in (which would help the wife keep from being so "touched out" that she can't give him the Lori Standard (10 minutes and lube).

[Vex]

11 hours ago, Koala said:

Yes, I especially liked this part:

To love the Lord, you must agree with Lori Alexander.  That's Bible right there.  Oh wait....no it's not.

Again she equates her teaching with The Lord.

Even more startling is the exchange she had with a new mom in the comment section:

Lori Alexander:

Keep in mind, this baby just turned one.  

Lori suggests a battles of wills...with a baby just one year old:

The conversation goes on.  The mom buys what they tell her...it's heartbreaking.  That poor baby...he has no idea what he's in for.  It just breaks this mama's heart.

I'm not a mother and I really have no intention of being one, but that breaks my heart too. It must be even worse when you actually have kids and think about them being in that position. He's just a little baby who loves his mum and wants to be cuddled. It makes me sick that Lori is pushing TTUaC on this vulnerable young woman. She seems like she loves her baby and her husband a lot, and she's going to have to make a choice between her own instincts as a mother (which seem to be that although there has to be a limit, babies need attention, care and love on demand) and the book's instruction that her baby is inherently wicked and is actively trying to take her away from her husband by being selfish and willful, and thus she must break his will.

I hope she makes the choice that's best for her son and sees TTUaC as what it is - a child abuse manual.

This is why I can't read Lori's blog. She's vile. She advocates for TTUaC, she doesn't practice what she preaches, and she's friends with horrific people like the Pearls and Kidist. I like to joke about her 'biblical chastisement' between a husband and wife stuff with my partner, but really, I can't even laugh about that when I think about it too closely because it's advocating potentially abusive behaviour that could easily escalate.

[Mrsaztx]

My god, that advice about the dick-bag husband, sorry, commanding husband or whatever the fuck she called it made me alternately filled with rage and horrible pity. That just struck me as a woman who will very likely kill herself of her children. She's exhausted, overwhelmed, has a house full of kids and one on the way and her scrotum sore of a husband is making her move the couch. His pregnant wife. And this woman gives her horrible wife-blaming advice of "pray harder that you can stop being such a failure to your physically and emotionally abusive, lazy shit stain of a husband". I want to cunt punt this bitch. Sorry for the language but holy shit, she needs to take a bath with her toaster

[2xx1xy1JD]

11 hours ago, Mrsaztx said:

My god, that advice about the dick-bag husband, sorry, commanding husband or whatever the fuck she called it made me alternately filled with rage and horrible pity. That just struck me as a woman who will very likely kill herself of her children. She's exhausted, overwhelmed, has a house full of kids and one on the way and her scrotum sore of a husband is making her move the couch. His pregnant wife. And this woman gives her horrible wife-blaming advice of "pray harder that you can stop being such a failure to your physically and emotionally abusive, lazy shit stain of a husband". I want to cunt punt this bitch. Sorry for the language but holy shit, she needs to take a bath with her toaster

My feelings about TheJoyFilledWife are a mix of pity and rage.

She seems to have had a somewhat abusive childhood (mentioned a relative trying to choke her), and somewhere along the line decided to cope by seeing herself as more righteous than everyone else because she is willing to tolerate more abuse.  She actually brags that she's good at suffering.  I don't want to blame a victim, and her husband is clearly described as an emotionally abusive controlling asshole, but she seems to be actively enabling him (and worse, encouraging the pattern with her children).

If someone is making an unreasonable demand, the kindest thing that you can do is give a clear "no".  No martyr complex, praising yourself while going through all the ways that he's an asshole.  Nip it in the bud, don't enable bad behavior, and it's more likely to stop (and if it doesn't, it's a sign that the relationship needs to end quickly).

[Mrsaztx]

@2xx1xy1JD I read the posts up thread with her yammering on about how SAHM's have it so good these days because they don't need to go to the well for water, plow fields, etc while having a child latched to a boob, pregnant with one and one slung on her back (maybe that last point was mine...) and about how that's the way to godliness. I'm half surprised she didn't add in "and if you can accomplish all this plus tuberculosis by 18, you're sure to get into heaven! Bonus points for dying in childbirth right before menopause, because your husband needs to be free to find a new, fertile wife!" Because to hell with social advances, women need to be beaten/worked into submission by their terrible husbands because that's how God wants it. You have a washing machine? You lazy bitch, I hope with the time you're saving by not hand washing clothes you're scrubbing base boards, homeschooling your children, cooking dinner, and wearing a moisturizing face mask and doing Kegel's simultaneously to please your husband because if he gets home and the kids aren't washed and polished, Von Trapp-style and ready for dinner, you have a (godly) backhand coming your way. And don't you even think about boring him with your awful, self centered "can you take Jenny to violin lessons tomorrow because I have a prenatal appointment" bull, stop being a terrible wife, Jesus is disappointed in you.

her posts are so horrible they're almost satire. Except they're not and I want to give her blog a virus where every response turns into "here's a domestic abuse hotline. Call it." 

[Sera's Arrow]

I've worked with 'Kling-Ons' before. Young ones (1 and under) and even older ones who are in preschool. The clingy preschoolers and even older toddlers are the ones that I tell "I can't hold you right now but if you'd like to spend time with me, let's go for a walk around the yard" if we are outside or if we're inside and if they are looking for a cuddle, I say "go choose a book and we'll have some time together". It's harder doing that with the youngers but I find that as long as I'm sitting with them and engaging them in some sort of play, it's generally all good. That works a lot better than 1) being "touched out" or 2) hitting a child when all they want is love which is just sad to me.

I hope that the mother discards TTUAC and instead strives to learn about healthy methods of behavioural modification and some child development as opposed to following the scribblings of an age when people put unwanted babies into clay pots along roads or in rivers to die. Murdering a child wasn't considered a crime until the late 300s (A.D), child pornography wasn't a crime until the 1800's and even in the late 1900's, people believed that newborns were blind and deaf 'til they were six months.

It hurts my heart thinking how many children over time who have been killed, abused and neglected because of idiots and their idiotic advice. Like the Pearls and Lori Alexander.

[lilwriter85]

On 1/5/2016 at 8:46 AM, molecule said:

So today Lori tell us that if we are offended by what she writes, the only valid explanation is that we are being convicted of the truth of what she says. Disagreeing with her interpretation of the bible is simply not a possibility.

Does Lori give talks at churches? She said this:

It made me wonder what all she's up to besides offending people on her blog.

 

On 1/5/2016 at 11:26 AM, salex said:

I would not be surprised if Lori and Ken haven 't church hopped in the past, because they know the bible better than anyone, after all.  Any minister who disagreed with them on any dogma would no doubt be abandoned. 

But, she was on the radio and "guest blogs" maybe she thought she would offer her expertise on marriage to various churches.  I bet only the apostate ones rejected her. 

 

 

 

In the past, Lori has mentioned that some people from her church have had issues with her. In one post, she mentioned that she and Ken tried to mentor a younger couple from their church. IIRC, they met a few times and then the younger couple refused to continuing meeting with Loriken. She mentioned somewhere else that there were several women who rejected her as a mentor.  Lori has mentioned having church friends and attending some church meeting. If the church staff knows about her blog, I can understand why they are worried about her offending female members with careers. The church staff likely recognizes that not every woman can afford to stay at home or even want to. If Lori has tried to speak at other churches, staffs might have vetted her and said no for different reasons. 

I wouldn't be surprised if Lori attempts to do some kind of "ministry" podcast. She can trying and get her beloved Pearls, Duggars, and others to be guests. Hell, maybe she would even try to get the PP to be on her podcast.

[Koala]

She'd be in for a big ol' surprise if she tried to rope the Pissing Preacher into her dog and pony show.  I guarantee you that Zsu Zsu and PP wouldn't have her.

[Mrsaztx]

I went and looked at her recent blogs where she takes about the different types of men, and the comments are a bunch of "I'm so glad I got personality type x! I don't think I could handle a Y!" And "I'm so lucky my husband turned out to be a Z!" Why do you people act like you're playing Yahtzee when it comes to choosing a spouse? "Come oooon.... WOO! I got one I don't hate. Your turn, Becky." "Shit, I got frank, I'm fundamentally incompatable with frank. Oh well, guess I'd better pray extra hard for a new personality so he doesn't have to beat me and make my life hell!"

[Koala]

I think it's funny that Lori says Ken is a Command Man.  Isn't their whole story that he spent the first 25 years of their marriage on pins and needles trying to keep her from having a cow over canned cheese?  He's said he apologized for things he didn't do, felt like a stranger in his own home, and was basically bending over backwards to keep her happy.  How is that the Command Man that Lori and Debbi Pearl describe?

I think a more apt name for Ken is The Opportunistic Man.  I think in a moment of transparency he showed his hand.  Their marriage was a partnership and nothing more.  Lori (seeing it for what it was) realized the $$$ was going to dry up if Ken followed their last kid right out the door.  Enter Debbi Pearl, enter submission, enter her blog (a new group of people for her to control).  And why not?  What she says is really what God says.  Who can argue with that.  I honestly think that's how she copes with not having the kids or Ken to boss around anymore.

Anyway, I think Ken seized an opportunity, and has been taking advantage of Lori's new outlook on life.

[Grimalkin]

4 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

 

In the past, Lori has mentioned that some people from her church have had issues with her. In one post, she mentioned that she and Ken tried to mentor a younger couple from their church. IIRC, they met a few times and then the younger couple refused to continuing meeting with Loriken. She mentioned somewhere else that there were several women who rejected her as a mentor.  Lori has mentioned having church friends and attending some church meeting. If the church staff knows about her blog, I can understand why they are worried about her offending female members with careers. The church staff likely recognizes that not every woman can afford to stay at home or even want to. If Lori has tried to speak at other churches, staffs might have vetted her and said no for different reasons. 

I wouldn't be surprised if Lori attempts to do some kind of "ministry" podcast. She can trying and get her beloved Pearls, Duggars, and others to be guests. Hell, maybe she would even try to get the PP to be on her podcast.

      I picture her voice sounding like Sara Palin........

[Koala]

Today's she's calling for grace and liberty- for herself of course.    Funny how she never plays that card for anyone else.  

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They are not wrong in teaching the Bible to other women as I am not wrong since there is liberty and freedom in Christ

Of course she's not wrong!  Who would ever think that Lori could be wrong?  That's crazy talk.

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He's very clear in the important areas He wants us to know and in those things that aren't clearly stated, we must give our brothers and sisters in Christ liberty and grace in doing what they are led to do.

Unless they are being led to work outside the home, send their kids to public school, or limit the number of children they have.  Then liberty and grace fly right out the window.

[molecule]

My favorite line from today's post is this:

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However, let's try not to make up our own rules or define things in the Bible more narrowly than God intended them to be.

The hypocrisy boggles the mind.

[Mrsaztx]

I'm a little tempted to get one of her blog posts, search and replace all the "bible" with "Quran" and "God" with "Allah" and see how many of my bible thumping friends I can work into a frothing rage by posting it on Facebook. 

Im also so, so confused on her stance on modesty. She says many times that you should be concerned only for what your husband likes, worry about pleasing him in the bedroom, being a great wife means doing things solely for your husband while spending all your other time ensuring other men find you too plain to look at. then she says that the best way to be said good wife is to ask your husband what turns him on and then be sure you hide that asset the most. Ok, so let's say your husband is all about a nice pair of legs, and you follow her advice and ask your husband what the most defrauding thing is and he tells you yoga pants. Ok, you assume that means for all men, because that's what her advice says, so you are sure to wear your most shapeless denim skirt. This ensures you're never highlighting the feature your husband likes (good?) but what about a guy that's got a thing for big, voluminous hair (cough*gothard*cough) or is into the virgin/whore thing and is kind of liking the meek look, or likes any number of other things because sometimes, now follow me here because shit is about to get crazy, all men are not the same creature. So essentially all you accomplish with her idea is how to ensure you're turning off your husband. Seems like a solid plan...

[molecule]

4 minutes ago, Mrsaztx said:

I'm a little tempted to get one of her blog posts, search and replace all the "bible" with "Quran" and "God" with "Allah" and see how many of my bible thumping friends I can work into a frothing rage by posting it on Facebook. 

I just gave it a try on today's post and it turned out interesting. The bit at the end about giving our religious brothers and sisters the liberty to do what they are led to do could be used as justification for, say, religious terrorism.

She spends the whole post saying that women can't be trusted to teach the bible unless they follow the teachings of men who know the bible:

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Most of what I teach when I teach the Word is what I have learned from Michael Pearl or John MacArthur since they are the two I have listened to the most.

She isn't allowed to teach the actual word of God, but it's okay to teach what a man has interpreted as the word of God? Seems to me that she's elevating these men (but only the "right" men) to god status. And doesn't this mean she is placing other men as higher than her husband? Shouldn't she be teaching what she's learned from Ken (barf)?

[Mrsaztx]

@molecule gah! All these rules make my head hurt! this is like trying to put together furniture when you're looking at the instructions in Japanese. I have a "life hack" for her, the English instructions are on the other side of the page, just turn it over, they've been there all along. Similarly, you have a brain right there in your own head, maybe use that one instead of trying to hunt down men's brains to use and then justify which one you are using and why or why not?

[beth889]

I'm very curious to see if Lori will respond in any way to Stacy McDonald's most recent post on Why Husbands Should Submit.  Her desrciption of some husbands demanding submission by stamping their feet etc. sound almost exactly like Lori's husband.  

[polecat]

19 hours ago, Koala said:

She'd be in for a big ol' surprise if she tried to rope the Pissing Preacher into her dog and pony show.  I guarantee you that Zsu Zsu and PP wouldn't have her.

Their brand of fundyism is just so weird. I realize there are different flavors, but the average fundy doesn't wear dresses cut down to there while chugging wine. Lorken are more like MRA fundies who aren't really religious, per se, but who like using the Bible to beat women down. Lori probably does it out of spite and Ken does it because he's a fuckwit. 

Also, we're supposed to hide what our husbands like best? Well, I have ginormous breasts and a behemoth booty. Pray tell, Lori, how does one hide those things? My husband gets an eyeful whether I'm coming or going, and I rather suspect he likes it that way.

[Koala]

She has clearly stated that women are easily more deceived:

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I agree that women are more easily deceived

She even went so far as to write a post about how gullible women are:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/08/why-do-men-tend-to-be-more-skeptical.html

Given her distrust of the feeble female brain, how does Lori give such a hearty endorsement of Michael and Debbi Pearl?  Perhaps she has just been deceived, and hitting harder isn't the answer after all.  Certainly something to ponder when you have basically labeled yourself a bear of little brain. 

[Mrsaztx]

"I believe that wives need to ask their own husbands what is and isn't modest. They know what turns guys on and could be a stumbling block. Hopefully, their husbands will be honest with them and speak the Truth to them. Most men are afraid to speak truthfully to their wives about their sex drive for fear the women will think less of them."

she reiterated that point, more or less, in a few places. But she also says that if your husband likes you to dress provocatively then it's your job to do that? So don't wear the things you husband says turn him on, unless he wants you to, because you'll go to hell, unless you don't listen to him and dress modestly anyway at which point you'll go to hell for not submitting or something? She loses her direction often in her posts, I've noticed. She can't decide if it's worse to ignore her version of bible teaching or a husband that doesn't believe in that flavor of crazy.