Michelle (Farm Hijabi)

[Kaylee]

I know a few here people follow her and she hasn't updated much recently. It looks like she's questioning some of the push for conformity among fundie women. Not really snark, more like *yay!*, but here are recent comments from her on another blog I follow:

I've gone through the same kind of inner movements myself over the past six years.

I came into the really super conservative Christianity thinking that it was the most pure and true form of the faith.

I read the books, the tracts, got involved in the forums, the yahoo groups, everything. I corresponded and visited and this and that. But even as I was in the midst of these things I always felt as if many of the things that I was being taught were like square pegs being jammed into round holes.

But I'm sorry... after a while I began to realize that in this form of Christianity let's face it: "Woman" was being made into a second class citizen, **inferior** to women.

Yes, we are called to submit to our husbands. And our husbands are called to be the heads of our households. But not in such a way that we women have to abandon our entire identity, our needs, our desires, our ***everything*** and turn ourselves into A) basically his slave and B) basically his clone? "I only like what he likes, do what he does, and dream his dreams and abandon my dreams..."

Just when I was hitting this crisis of "what on earth is a Christian woman????" I came across Kimberly Hahn's new trilogy and she was fantastic ast defining "christan womanhood" ~ in a very balanced, healthy way that was biblical and not "rules and ideas of man"

I tossed all of the other "christian women" books except "Created to be His Helpmeet" but I read Created with a grain of salt and I am careful now to no longer be sucked into that whole unhealthy soul-killing idea of, "I only like what he likes, do what he does, and dream his dreams and abandone my dreams..."

I'm sorry too but I noticed a frightening trend of conservative women: almost every single one of them is fat, unhappy, and suffering from chronic fatigue and/or fibromyalgia!! This was getting to the point of being downright scary!!

I can't help but see the elephant in the room here: the "laws of men" are hurting christian women even to the point of physical illness. Just look at me! I'm a physical mess! But it only started when I began to kill the real Michelle and stifle her and smother her and bury her alive in order to become that artificial false "Ideal Christian Women"...

Re: The "don't cut your hair" thing.

God wants us to bring honour to our husbands so that he is "praised at the city gates" ~ how on earth are we going to manage that with nasty ratty hair??

That is sooooooo not a salvation issue!

And yeah, I've gone through the same thing as you, remembering how colourful and fun I was and how this just isn't compatable with the "rules of men" found in these conservative christian books about how us women should be. I got the feeling that we are supposed to be kinda invisible, with no real identity. I mean, why else is there a "christian women uniform" of matching dresses and matching head coverings?

I love my patchwork jeans and my flowing gypsy skirts, my bright striped or tie-dyed tights! I'm artistic! And musical! My bible cover is made of funky colourful dots and I have hippie shoes and I go to yoga and weaving classes and my art gallery is almost like being inside of a rainbow. I love to read "Country Living" and "Mollie Makes" magazine and I keep in touch with friends and family thousands of miles apart from me through Facebook and I read Transformers comics...

I don't see how any of that is going to send me to hell?

from biblegirl1999.blogspot.com/2011/09/why-i-cannot-join-mennonite-church.html

(That blog's pretty interesting, too. I've followed Dawn for a while, from her being a Hebrew roots, headcovering, cape-dress wearing Mennonite-leaning hardcore Kool-Aiod drinker {pretty much where I was at the time I discovered her blog via a Yahoo group} to questioning both God and the "rules" and looking for a place where she can belong without giving up her personality and uniqueness).

[Lillybee]

All I can can is wow, a thinking fundie woman.

[Guest Anonymous]

Good find - thanks! I have followed Michelle a long while too. :)

She's a complex character though - I wouldn't say that she is a true fundie, or that she has ever been 'subjected' to conservative Christianity, except by her own choosing. She is a Catholic, married to an unbeliever, living on a remote Scottish Island where there are no fundie influences on her. Really, conservative Christianity is something that she went looking for, via the internet, and she has always been very dogmatic about what she chooses to believe. She met her farmer husband via a dating website and seemed to take over the reins of the household from Day 1, even banning his parents from calling them at one point. :lol:

Everywhere she goes, she seems to be looking for meaningful friendships, but for some reason she is very easily hurt and she is able to turn the slightest disagreement into a full-on raging row, in a heartbeat - there may be a deeply hurting young woman inside Michelle, but there certainly is no submissive fundie wife.

For her, the costume dresses and bonnets have always been a personal choice, which has seemed to be partly a phase/fashion trend and partly to cover herself up comfortably, given that she lives on a small island where plusplusplus size clothing will not be in abundance. She has never allowed anyone else to tell her how to dress and she has always complained about how rude others at church are to stare at her 'modest clothing', complaining about others' lack of modesty. Her body may well be a physical mess, but she has put this down to various things over the years - at rare times she has admitted she simply eats too much, at other times she has sworn blind that she eats like a bird, but is a war veteran and invalid and has a condition that cannot be helped.

There is something vulnerable and honest about Michelle that I like - she wrote on a BBC shared blog for Scottish Islanders a while back, and the other Brits there seemed to be hilariously amused and offended and warmed by her in equal measure. But I have to call bullshit on her claims on this occasion. :D

[Guest Anonymous]

Isn't she the one who writes porntacular Transformers fan fiction?

[Guest Anonymous]

Yup, that's her! But it is a MARITAL AID, not teh ebil Porn, Lissar!!eleventy111

[Guest Anonymous]

One version of Michelle's conversion story is here:

http://catholic-converts.blogspot.com/2 ... story.html

And here is her latest post on 'equality'.... :roll:

farm-hijabi.blogspot.com/2011/09/equality.html

edited to remove direct link

[longskirtlotsakids]

I really like her. She sems very calm and her kiddos are so sweet. I admit that I adore her lifestyle... an organic farm on an island in Scotland? Really, how serene does that sound?

It would be hard to maintain such faith all alone though. She seems to have some catholic friends and nun friends though. She sems like someone I would want for a nieghbor and friend.

[clibbyjo]

I hope she starts posting more often,I follow her as well and all summer with no updates!

[Guest Anonymous]

Have you seen any of her 'angry' posts yet? :lol:

I think she has many positive qualities and she seems to be a very creative mum to the kiddies, but many of her blog posts have been far from calm. She is big on deleting posts though, and she has moved blogs frequently over the years.

Something sad that I noticed on her Catholic Orkney blog, is that she has added to the sideline that she has two babies in heaven. I wonder if this explains some of her long absences lately.

[Guest Anonymous]

For those interested, here is a snapshot of the old 'angry' blog, captured by wayback:

http://web.archive.org/web/200807281021 ... gspot.com/

[MamaJunebug]

As somebody who first "met" Michelle on one of those yahoo groups she mentions, several years ago, I can't help but channel Big Daddy Junebug when I say,

"Well, good for her getting to this point, but she sure was a pill along the way!"

:doh: Never thought I'd say, "Gee, I sound like my dad" but I just did because I just did! :)

I'm happy for her, I think. Haven't read everything, but it sounds as though she's finding real Christianity and real peace. I'm relieved the news wasn't that she's thinking of taking the Islamic pledge. For a while I had the feeling she was getting happy with the idea of burkahs & such.

[Witsec6]

Yup, that's her! But it is a MARITAL AID, not teh ebil Porn, Lissar!!eleventy111

:shock: links pls!

[clibbyjo]

I just read some of her old blog. I have never seen her husband before, that was fun. I also LOVE she wore medieval costumes as regular clothes to church and for everyday wear. (And she says her husband loved it :)) By the time I found her, she was mostly into the bonnets and plain,modest clothes. I do love a fellow historical fashion lover who will wear the clothes in public.

[Austin]

For those interested, here is a snapshot of the old 'angry' blog, captured by wayback:

http://web.archive.org/web/200807281021 ... gspot.com/

Wow. For one thing, her logic doesn't even remotely make sense in that post. Teh gayz can get married in California (this is a post from 2008) and somehow she turns that into a call-to-arms for her fellow Christians, because now that gay people have the right to marry, they (the evil government, I surmise, is the "they") are coming to trample the rights of good upstanding folks like herself.

So because gay people got more rights, rights that they've inherently always been entitled to but which went unrecognized by our laws previously, Christians are now in more danger than ever (lol) of losing their rights. Huh? :doh:

Here's her closing paragraph:

And to those homosexuals that are celebrating their unconstitutional, illegal victory over a segment of their fellow Americans: shame on you! If you support this political rape then I have no respect for you as individuals or as fellow American citizens. While you deserve to be free from harassment, harm, abuse and any other sinful behavior by those who do not agree with homosexuality, you do not have the right to take away my rights and abuse me in order to get what you want! You who claimed that you want to be free of abuse have turned into the abusers! And I, who have always openly and vocally supported the freedom of homosexuals from harassment and abuse stand here betrayed and with egg on my face looking the fool. Thanks, folks.

Sorry, this does not sound like a good person to me. And if she's really re-invented herself that many times, I'd say she's more than a bit unstable on top of it.

[Guest Anonymous]

:shock: links pls!

Sorry, I don't know that site, I only clicked to it via a link on the old FJ site, I think.

Her BBC Scotland blog is here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/islandblo ... 6/12.shtml

No porn there, and relatively few hysterical outbursts. Her hate posts tend to get deleted pretty quickly after they happen.

[haveapicniclife]

I think I posted this before, but Michelle updates on her deviantART blog several times a week. I'd say half the time it's non-art related and about her life (but nothing terribly deep). I can't believe how big her twins have gotten. All of her kids are very cute. I see that she's "organizing" the house now with all the shelving. Oy.

[Guest Anonymous]

Do you have a link? :)

[haveapicniclife]

sheepslave.deviantart.com/journal/

[maybeizfundie]

I was confused for a minute, 'til I re-read that this is a comment on Dawn's blog.

Anyhoo, many of the same reasons that I never joined the conservative anabaptist groups, much as I love my friends there, and much as I admire the close community they have. And I am fortunate to have friends who do not look down their noses at me, even knowing that I will never sign up, lol.

Been following Dawn for a while. Had serious issues with some of the stuff she said on FB, but it looks like she's moved away from the Messianic/anabaptist hyper legalism and is doing some serious thinking.

[Kaylee]

Been following Dawn for a while. Had serious issues with some of the stuff she said on FB, but it looks like she's moved away from the Messianic/anabaptist hyper legalism and is doing some serious thinking.

Same here. We were in a yahoo group together (the one Tabby used to run) years ago, and I have followed her since. I actually deleted her and another person from my facebook a while back because I got tired of the ranty posts about the Sabbath. I just hope she is somewhere where she will be accepted once they see she's not going to be joining or wearing cape dresses and headcoverings all the time.

I went down a very similar path to the one she seems to be on, and I lost friends every step of the way, from dropping the pseudo-Messianic stuff to not covering (I still do at church and sometimes at home, but I don't make a huge deal of it so people assume I stopped totally) and wearing more normal clothes. The good thing is that I have found a group of friends and a church who accepts me as I am, and it is so freeing not to feel like I'm always being judged or having to restrict myself even more to meet someone else's standards.

[oscar]

Michelle seems to go off the deep end with everything she tries. Like when she decided to learn how to cook, she didn't simply choose a few recipes and learn the skills needed to incorporate them into her daily repertoire - instead, she embarked on a major home renovation and pantry bulk storage project. When she became Catholic, she seized onto extreme beliefs and modesty standards instead of mainstream community practice. She decided to improve her appearance, so she bought a shitload of beauty products. She doesn't just like transformers - she's way into the more extreme aspects of fandom.

It seems like she assembles all the trappings she thinks she needs to become the person she thinks she wants to be, and then she may or may not follow through with it. I think she does this with ideas as well as with objects. Like, she said all the hateful homophobic things a fundamentalist reactionary would say, in order to see what would stick. It's not always clear from her writing whether she is working through a new idea or making a definitive statement of what she believes.

Some of Michelle's weirder behavior seems to have been a means to cope with very difficult events. I'm with MJB - it's good to see her arriving at a stable, happy place in her life.

[emmyfair]

I totally agree with everything Oscar said.

[haveapicniclife]

Yes, a million times yes, Oscar! She is so much like my mother, it's unreal. I would call her a "starter" but not a "finisher". The way she jumps (and obsesses) into her newest project only to have the pictures disappear from her blog months later. The second kitchen and pantry (now an art studio?). The fridge full of food, the stack of glossy new books and all the new spices/etc lined up next to them, all to help her get healthy and have more energy. The pile of new beauty products that were going to fix all of her beauty woes. The girdles, the bras, the new shoes, never to be spoken of again. I'm glad she's found a creative outlet through art, so she can stop obsessing with all the "if I just do this, life will be perfect" projects.

[prairiemuffin]

I'm glad she's found a creative outlet through art, so she can stop obsessing with all the "if I just do this, life will be perfect" projects.

I think this is why I'm fascinated with her and Brandy's blog. While their snarkworthiness is high, once in a while you see glimpses that lead you hope "oh, good. They may actually be getting their crap together and finding something to fill that hole.". While it's sometimes like shooting fish in a barrel to poke fun at thier blogs, I would genuinely love to see Michelle, Brandy, and others like them to hit on the solution that will bring them some peace and happiness.

[clibbyjo]

I don't know Brandy....I better go look for the link :)