Thanks Stevie

[johnhugh]

Stevie emailed:

I have watched my married sons and their wives work patiently with their children to teach them to be grateful. It is amazing what persistence it takes to make progress against the selfishness of the flesh, and oh how delightful it is to hear sweet little “Thank yous.” First we teach a child to be grateful to those around him who bless him. Then he needs to learn to thank God, Who is the giver of all good gifts, and Who cannot be seen.

We all enjoy being around grateful people, but those who are ungrateful tend to weigh us down. Are we dads setting the example for gratitude in the family? Are we looking for things others in the home do so we can share our gratefulness with them? It is one thing to say “thank you” and quite another to express why we are grateful for what they did.

Who would have thought how absolutely foundational being thankful can be even to a person’s eternity? “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful...” (Romans 1:21)

Steven Maxwell

<< thanks

notice, Stevie now calls himself Steven. Sounds like the back rubs have become more domineering.....

 

[gustava]

"selfishness of the flesh".........Bastard.

[quiversR4hunting]

Hmmm My kids ages say "please" and "thank you", etc all the time. Even my 3 year old. And guess what it isn't what I worked on "first" we work on manners and play and fun and cooperation and chores and letters and numbers and picking up, etc, etc all at the same time.

He really seems to think only "The right kind of Christians" have well mannered children.  (I need a Mark Harmen slap smiley)

[manda b]

Well my oldest doesn't say please and thank you all the time...(HFA)...but she is the sweetest child you can ask for. I guess I'm the wrong type of Christian.

[fiery redhead]

He always has such an angry, domineering tone. And he is always accusatory rather than encouraging. Obviously, it just never ceases to amaze me that he can pack so much negativity and general eeriness in such a short email. At the very least, wouldn't you think a Christian would talk about what a blessing wives and children are for men? In a Thanksgiving email to men? Steve definitely uses scare tactics: he takes a very relative symptom (kid's manners) from a legitimate issue (selfishness) and exaggerates it into an intimidating example so people will take his advice more seriously. In this email he generalizes"selfishness of the flesh". Is small child not saying "thank you" enough as bad as a father who hyper-shelters his children so they are afraid to even move down the street by themselves?

Another thing, why does he say that first children should be thankful to people, then thankful to God? I think anyone could agree this is not from the Bible. Oh Stevehovah, you've done it again. 

[SPHASH]

Bite me Steve.

[blessalessi]

The Maxwells are not naturally attuned to parenting  (just to understate things, a little!), so they do seem to tend towards methodical training, rather than teaching in an organic way.

Teri always used jelly beans as a reward for compliance for her own kids, iirc.  I remember being revolted that she would put a jelly bean in the child's mouth as a reward for remembering to say "yes, ma'am" and even for sitting on the potty.  Feeding treats directly into a child's mouth once they are weaned and self-feeding really rubs me up the wrong way.  And eating jelly beans on the toilet.... just no! (But that might just be me.  ).

[anjulibai]

I thought the jelly bean rewards was Erika. 

[blessalessi]

Erika only gives single jelly beans as a reward for a full star chart doesn't she?

At least she doesn't fall foul of my "no filling your bowels whilst emptying them" rule! 

[iweartanktops]

Erika only gives single jelly beans as a reward for a full star chart doesn't she?

At least she doesn't fall foul of my "no filling your bowels whilst emptying them" rule! 

This made me laugh so hard I almost woke the babies! 

[December]

I'm disturbed by the whole "what persistence it takes to make progress against the selfishness of the flesh" with children. Instead of seeing children's minds as clay to mold into a good personality through positive example, they see it as already molded into something bad that they have to stamp out. 

Children are eager learners who like to mimic the adults in their lives. Making something like gratefulness or good manners, that most people (religious or not) learn by example or gentle reminders by age 10, into something daunting is just ridiculous.

[blessalessi]

Erika only gives single jelly beans as a reward for a full star chart doesn't she?

At least she doesn't fall foul of my "no filling your bowels whilst emptying them" rule! 

This made me laugh so hard I almost woke the babies! 

It's not an actual rule that I impose on others!  But it is not an activity I would encourage. 

[iweartanktops]

 

It's not an actual rule that I impose on others!  But it is not an activity I would encourage. 

Um, I wholeheartedly agree! I'm not sure too many people would think this is an unreasonable "rule." 

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I, for one, am deeply thankful that Stevehovah is not a part of my family.  What a sour little man, what a bad advertisement for the joy of being a Christian.

[lawlifelgbt]

Erika only gives single jelly beans as a reward for a full star chart doesn't she?

At least she doesn't fall foul of my "no filling your bowels whilst emptying them" rule! 

Ms. Lawlife did that once! I would NOT stop saying how gross that was! We had gone to a restaurant and had leftover dessert, and she decided to finish her part of it (finger food, not on a plate/cutlery), on the toilet!

To be fair, we were both a bit drunk.

[GodsKnickers]

I like my selfish flesh.

[CyborgKin]

Who would have thought how absolutely foundational being thankful can be even to a person’s eternity?

Clearly, only someone as spiritually enlightened as Steve(n) could possibly have thought of such wisdom!