Sisterwives Part 2 - Things Get Complicated

[Cleopatra7]

Does anyone actually like the Browns? I don't mean just FJers but people in general. With the Duggars, there were a lot of people who thought they were the ideal family until Joshgate, but you don't really see Sister Wives leghumpers. I guess polygamy is still beyond the pale for most people, even when it doesn't involve abused twelve year olds and organized welfare fraud.

[MakeItSo]

[snip]

3.) Robyn.....her holier than thou personality makes me want drive her to a deserted island and leave her there. She was like the annoying as fuck uptight mom and Kody the dad. The three other wives are their children. The way she talks to them is so "because I said so."  "Just wait till your dad gets home. Oh, you will tell him what you did." 

[snip]

 

YES! Every time that woman says "I did it for the family" "I only care about the family" "I am doing this for my family" I want to vomit. Not because those words wouldn't be heartwarming if they were said with some genuine emotion but because she always plays the martyr.

I obviously don't know her personally but from what I've seen since this show started her (abundantly shown) empathy always seems fake to me. Like she is acting (badly). 

What I AM impressed by is her talent to always somehow make everything about her. 

[GodsKnickers]

Yikes. I hope that video doesn't exist.

This entire show shouldn't exist.

[Grimalkin]

As much as I hate passive aggression I cannot blame Meri much if she grew up and lives in a culture where a woman is not allowed to be anything but happy. I still can't bring myself to to watch this show, it's too disturbing. I watched Walking Dead instead, and the fact I find a gory show about Zombies less disturbing must mean something.

[apandaaries]

I do believe that they are all spinning this as Meri is a victim.  I think they are doing this mostly to allow themselves to continue the shared delusion that they can be a functional family.  I think that this is also why they downplayed any problems Meri/Kodes were clearly having in their relationship while allowing Christine and Kody to go on about their problems.  I think that in order for their fractured family to reassemble after this episode they all need to pretend it was solely the catfish's fault and that there were only minor problems in the marriage.  It also helps the brand but I think they are really doing this to ignore how easily Mer was pulled away from the family.  If Sam had been real and had met Meri IRL she would be half way to whatever state he supposedly lived in.  

I agree that Brianna is warming up to be the next Sobbyn.  And Sobbyn was also laying it on thick last night.  

I think that Kody was mostly quiet about Meri since his feeble brain is still dealing with the idea that his wife almost left him for someone she never even met.  

And whatever excuse Mariah was fumbling with, I'm betting 90% of her turn against polygamy is due to the catfishing episode.  She just doesn't want to announce it on TV for fear of hurting her parents(all of them).  I'm wondering how her relationship with her Mom is right now.  I'm betting this hit her really hard and she is re-evaluating all her beliefs about plural marriage and how she feels about her mom is probably all over the place.  

QFT.  Meri has to be a victim of a nefarious online group/person out to destroy the entire family. The "happy family" narrative falls apart otherwise (though any astute viewer would have noticed that the "happy" part seems more than questionable).

It saddened me to see them returning to Christine's anniversary trip with Douchebag, and commenting about taking their therapist with them.  Kadouche is such a self-centered tool.  He's blaming his shittiness on Christine acknowledging jealousy -- that is more than common in their religious community.  But he needs an excuse to hold her away.  I suspect he also favors the wives who produce sons, just as he favors his sons.  Janelle is a money-maker AND a son-producer; Christine has one son and preferred staying at home.  Shitty McShitterson cannot seem to fathom how to value "women's work" (or women), so again, no respect for her contributions nor appreciation for what she does for the family.

Brianna broke my heart by proving she is unquestionably Sobyn's daughter.  Damn.  Either the tears or her family's position of power within the larger family has destroyed any sympathy from her peers, though.  They looked completely over the tears.  But I could also understand some resentment towards her and her siblings, as Kadouche is clearly favoring them over the others.

Kadouche looked like the spluttering idiot he is:  Completely failed to see anything wrong, still cannot accept that he might have had some responsibility for neglecting and ignoring his wives, totally focused on trying to make people see the shiny wonderfulness of his polygamous family, fails to understand that others have eyes and brains & can see and interpret for themselves.  

Mariah's turn away from polygamy was what stood out most to me.  I was so happy to hear that. Not only has she been at school (one which is open to polygamists -- remember the school tour), but she's been watching all this happen to her family and her mother.  Meri had such a privileged position for years; it must have made polygamy as the first wife quite palatable.  Seeing her mother thrown over for the new model and the ensuing depression, loneliness, vulnerability, and exploitation, though, must have really helped change her mind.  I wonder how much she pokes around online.  Poor kid, but I'm glad she's reconsidering polygamy.  

[Queen Of Hearts]

BatLoser just posted a response to last night's show.  pretty disappointing, really.  She is basically gushing her love over Kendra and what a great friend she is and also posted some pictures of what looks to be a bearded man video chatting with Meri, but for all I know she photoshopped them.  

http://www.notbatmanyet.com/?p=2290

[FundieFarmer]

Site is already down. Crash or she removed it? Who knows.

[Queen Of Hearts]

Site is already down. Crash or she removed it? Who knows.

I think it was just a site crash, because I just got it to load.  The Bat Signal seems to get weak when more than 3 people try to access the site at once.

[Mitz_]

Did anyone get a screenshot?

 

[FlamingFundie]

PS, I LOVE how easy it is to attach screen shots on this new forum.

[MakeItSo]

How mindflipped would we all be if Sam was real and he just got cold feet every time he was supposed to meet up with Meri (I don't believe this, which is why it would be the biggest plot twist) 

[FlamingFundie]

Thats not even the same dude! Look at his jawline and the shape of his eyebrows! :/ Compared to the profile pic of the blog.

[Queen Of Hearts]

I took one.  

[Georgiana]

Random thoughts:

Kody isn't bothered by Meri's affair because he equates lust with love. He needs to see someone to "love" them, so he doesn't understand the deep emotional attachment Meri had to this catfish because it was based mostly on emotional and not physical attraction.  I doubt Kody feels a connection that deep with any of his original 3 wives, and maybe not even with Robyn.  He has no clue how to emotionally connect with women, hence his problems with his own daughters.  

Meri reminds me of myself when depressed.  Not trying to be an internet therapist, just saying that her withdrawal from the family, lack of emotions, etc. are all hallmarks of myself when I am depressed.  Meri needs REAL therapy, one that addresses her pattern of forming abusive relationships (I believe Meri's relationship with Kody is emotionally abusive (from both sides), I believe that Meri's relationship with Janelle was emotionally abusive from Meri to Janelle, and I believe that Meri's relationship with the catfish was abusive.  Every relationship with Meri that we have insight into is abusive, and Meri is sometimes the abuser.)

I think the real reason Kody was so ok with this in the beginning is that it made Meri want him around less...which meant more time to spend with Robyn.

I think the episode with Garrison/Solomon was an indication that at least the older kids definitely do resent Robyn's kids, feel that they get special treatment, and feel that Robyn and her family are responsible for many of the issues with their own families (rightly so).  I think that Dayton is somewhat exempt from this though as 1. He seems to lack a bond with Kody and because of this 2. He doesn't capitalize on "favored status" like the others do.  I think they had/have the same resentment towards Mariah as well.  

I totally called that the whole Meri situation would put Mariah off plural marriage.  

 

[MakeItSo]

I'm rewatching Degrassi: Next Class and in episode 1 and 2 (it's a two parter) one of the girls gets catfished. I felt like sharing that. I wonder if Meri was naive enough to not know that stuff like this happens. She still seems to me...not in denial but just disconnected from reality.

[FlamingFundie]

[FundieFarmer]

I haven't been on the site in a while, but after opening it to look at that post (it works now!) I found myself in the post from the other day. I'll just leave these here for posterity's sake: the quotes that made me extra nervous.

"God is urging me to write this to you. I can’t explain why yet because I don’t even understand it myself."
...alright, then. 
"Meri I should have come got you."
I'm pretty sure she's probably pretty happy you didn't, Jackie.
"Meri everyday without you I am lost."
Yikes. Get a map, bro.
"Do you know how much I miss you? Do you know that I regret not coming to get you? I fucked up Meri."
Uh.
"My gosh Meri you loved me so much. I know you did."
I KNOW YOU LOVED ME. I KNOW. THAT. YOU. LOVED. ME. SAY YOU DID. SAY IT.
"I love you so much Meri it’s not about me. It’s about you."
I'll be here, posting all of this shit online to ruin you...but I'm doing it for you.
"I posted everything as a gift to you Meri."
A gift, I tell you.
"I posted everything to hurt you into finding yourself."
Okay wow. Seriously. 
"I posted everything to give you your freedom."
I feel like the opposite of freedom is what happened.
"someday you will be thankful that I posted everything."
Maybe not.
"And no matter what my life will become, you will always be the woman that left the protective film over her cellphone camera and snapped blurry photos for months. Until I came into your life, asked why is your world so blurry, here let me show you how to get a clearer picture. And I took off your protective shell around your heart. And your cellphone Lol"
I will go on, and my life will change....and you will always be that incompetent girl who messed things up. A true romeo right there.
 

[Queen Of Hearts]

The skype guy looks nothing like half-face guy.  Nice try, BatLoser!  My guess is Jackie found some bearded sucker to video chat with, grabbed some screen caps, and went to work Photoshopping the newest pictures.  We know Jackie likes gambling... is there a way to interact with others on the online gambling sites (hence where she might have found the bearded guy to video chat with?).  For that matter, she may have even found a You Tube video of some bearded guy talking and grabbed shots from that.

[Jessa's Feet]

I missed the first 30 mins but watched the rest of the special.  I agree with a few points brought out before me.  

I do believe that they are all spinning this as Meri is a victim.  I think they are doing this mostly to allow themselves to continue the shared delusion that they can be a functional family.  I think that this is also why they downplayed any problems Meri/Kodes were clearly having in their relationship while allowing Christine and Kody to go on about their problems.  I think that in order for their fractured family to reassemble after this episode they all need to pretend it was solely the catfish's fault and that there were only minor problems in the marriage.  It also helps the brand but I think they are really doing this to ignore how easily Mer was pulled away from the family.  If Sam had been real and had met Meri IRL she would be half way to whatever state he supposedly lived in.  

I agree that Brianna is warming up to be the next Sobbyn.  And Sobbyn was also laying it on thick last night.  

I think that Kody was mostly quiet about Meri since his feeble brain is still dealing with the idea that his wife almost left him for someone she never even met.  

And whatever excuse Mariah was fumbling with, I'm betting 90% of her turn against polygamy is due to the catfishing episode.  She just doesn't want to announce it on TV for fear of hurting her parents(all of them).  I'm wondering how her relationship with her Mom is right now.  I'm betting this hit her really hard and she is re-evaluating all her beliefs about plural marriage and how she feels about her mom is probably all over the place.  

You summed up exactly how I felt about why they're only playing the victim in this perfectly. It's exactly how I feel about it and did a poor job point out myself. 

They're not willing to admit that their lifestyle is anything but 100% functional. For Meri to assume any culpability in any of this would be admitting unhappiness in a plural marriage setting. It would be admitting fault with the idea of plural marriage. Most importantly, Kody would never allow any kind of admittance of anything that would paint his choice of plural marriage to be the blame for Meri's unhappiness. Nor her need to seek what she needs from a husband (Kody) elsewhere. Because even if she's depressed, going through empty nest syndrome, and any other adjustments, it all comes comes around the the fact that she doesn't have a husband to lean on during these changes in life. A normal marriage should allow for a partner that you can lean on during those times. Put in a plural marriage you have a husband that is being pulled away by three other wives, younger kids, older kids, and one wife that is pregnant.

It doesn't even matter that they live next door to each other. When you have a spouse that's going through that much in her life her husband can't possibly be the partner she needs when he's got three other huge ass families to tend to. Three other wives to have sex with. Three sets of kids and all that comes with that many kids. Plus the added attention of still having babies with a younger 4th spouse. Kody and any other polygamous man can tell me till they're blue in the face that they can be a good husband to all of their wives and I'll call bullshit to their faces every single time. Imagine how you connect with your significant other when it's just the two of you. Then think about having a marriage where you get to play "married and house" on a schedule and only get to do that one week out of the month. Years on end. I'm sorry, that's NOT healthy. 

So for Meri to even admit a small part in any of this and say she was unhappy in her marriage (which is painfully OBVIOUS and I'm sure this is why her daughter has changed her mind about polygamy), the set up of plural marriage, feeling neglected, and that because of any of that unhappiness made her seek the love/attention of another man, would be to admit that polygamy is damaging to ones psyche. That it has failed her. And most importantly? THAT KODY FAILED AT IT.   

It's just like the Duggars. They'll never do, say, or admit to anything that could possibly mean that their religion or what they do has been wrong all along. Just like how the Duggars can't and will never admit that how they've raised their kids and how they do things is damaging. Even after Josh was caught touching his sisters. Nope, it can't be because of how we've raised him. Pray harder. He's discovered to be sneaking porn. Can't be an issue. Pray harder. Caught cheating on his wife with porn stars and leading a double life. Again, it has nothing to do with their lifestyle and how they've raised their kids. Pray harder. Even has we watch these people and as humans can SEE when other humans are obviously hurting for reasons that their not admitting to, they'll still never admit to being wrong. Because to admit any part, any fucked puzzle piece, would mean the whole puzzle has never worked. How do you admit to yourself, when you're so damn deep in shit, that you fucked up way back at square one. And that you took down everyone else in your stupid path. It's much easier to keep praying and to ignore. Assuming responsibility would be a huge heap of shit that none of these people apparently want to mess with. 

[apandaaries]

Even as we watch these people and as humans can SEE when other humans are obviously hurting for reasons that they're not admitting to, they'll still never admit to being wrong. Because to admit any part, any fucked puzzle piece, would mean the whole puzzle has never worked. How do you admit to yourself, when you're so damn deep in shit, that you fucked up way back at square one. And that you took down everyone else in your stupid path. It's much easier to keep praying and to ignore. Assuming responsibility would be a huge heap of shit that none of these people apparently want to mess with. 

 

This.  The polygamists who left endured so many horrible situations, but still kept going until they absolutely could. not. do. it. anymore. Some of the best polygamy tell-alls were from those who fell out after the LeBaron scandal (everyone once in awhile, one of the authors will mention the Romney clan or Mitt's grandpa, which is also interesting).  Other ones with shocking facts include people who escaped Warren Jeffs' insanity, with the accompanying abuse.  (He really f'ed with that whole community, sadly.)  It seems like it takes really appalling, incredible levels of abuse to finally get people to leave.  I'm not a public figure and I'm not sure what kind of toll that takes on people, but it seems to be pretty intense (just look at all the divorces and scandals from reality shows).  It's possible that the drama and complications from the show (SW at least, 19KAC still seems to be determined) could finally get some people to break away.  

But I'm not sure.  Janelle and Christine seem most likely to leave in a healthy fashion.  Janelle left before; she's financially more secure than the others; she will soon have the support of a slew of college and working kids to help with a transition.  I could see her leaving.  Christine was raised in polygamy but her mom left.  Her mom moved in probably because she could see how bad her daughter's situation is.  If she saw a proper therapist (not a Kody-approved, polygamy-approving one), she might have some hope to leave.  Meri seems comfortable as a martyr with passive-aggressive tendencies (that we've seen -- she could have been more aggressive to Janelle earlier on in the marriage).  If she leaves, it will be because someone helps her leave, and probably a guy with a romantic interest in her. Robyn seems to have found her soulmate, but I wonder what monogamy would really be like for McShitterson.  He seems like he needs a bevy of women to worship him.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Robyn seems to have found her soulmate, but I wonder what monogamy would really be like for McShitterson.  He seems like he needs a bevy of women to worship him.

This is interesting. I remember Robyn saying once on the show that it would be weird for her to have a husband around all of the time. However, that doesn't seem to be reality. 

[Cleopatra7]

This is interesting. I remember Robyn saying once on the show that it would be weird for her to have a husband around all of the time. However, that doesn't seem to be reality. 

Did her ex-David Jessop have any other wives, or was it just the two of them? Or was she referring to the fact that she'd been a single mother for awhile before she was tapped to be the once and future legal Mrs. Kody Brown?

Also, I'm curious as to whether the original three Sister Wives are really all considered "bonus moms" by all the kids. It seems like even when the older kids were younger, there was a lot of unhappiness and tension between the original three, and the kids had to have picked up on that. The relationships have to be more complicated than they let on, especially when the households had such differing numbers of kids.

[Justme]

Did her ex-David Jessop have any other wives, or was it just the two of them? Or was she referring to the fact that she'd been a single mother for awhile before she was tapped to be the once and future legal Mrs. Kody Brown?

Also, I'm curious as to whether the original three Sister Wives are really all considered "bonus moms" by all the kids. It seems like even when the older kids were younger, there was a lot of unhappiness and tension between the original three, and the kids had to have picked up on that. The relationships have to be more complicated than they let on, especially when the households had such differing numbers of kids.

In one of the earlier shows, Robyn said one of the reason's they divorced was because he refused to take a 2nd wife. (After seeing her in a marriage, can you really blame the guy??)

[Jessa's Feet]

Hell, if one of the reasons was indeed that he wouldn't take a 2nd wife (and I do remember this coming up before...did it come up on the show? I know I've heard her mention it somewhere) then yeah, I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to. He probably couldn't imagine handling Robyn AND another one. In a polygamy situation having one of the wives be high maintenance is probably far from the ideal situation. In the current situation with the Browns, no doubt that's one of the issues. But that's an issue with being in polygamy. Women are vastly different from one another. It's also part of the human condition to have so many varying emotions and one of those is jealousy. That's just being normal. If you've got one wife that requires more attention (Robyn because she's an attention whore/drama queen but Christine needs attention on an emotional growth level. It's important to her to connect on personal levels and one on one. She has a specific emotional language and need. Which pisses me off when she's treated by Douche Canoe like she's being "crazy and PMSing." Yet Robyn can be a spoiled brat drama queen and he's up her ass) then that can leave other wives jealous because the other one requires so much attention. Or worse the other wives treat that wife like crap. But really, it's all relative to the main point: this is why it doesn't work. It's normal to have all of these issues in these situations but these women are made to feel like it's wrong in the long run. 

So yeah, I understand why a guy wouldn't want to put himself in the middle of a huge ass cat fight. I understand why the older kids don't want to share their husbands. Hearing those kids say that last night was the best thing to come out of that show. If there's anything Kody as ever done right in his life it was convincing his kids to not practice polygamy. The best part is that he's so far up his own ass that he can't grasp the fact that his actions and those of his four wives convinced them of that.   

[withaj]

Hell, if one of the reasons was indeed that he wouldn't take a 2nd wife (and I do remember this coming up before...did it come up on the show? I know I've heard her mention it somewhere) then yeah, I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to. He probably couldn't imagine handling Robyn AND another one. <snip>

Additionally, it sounds like Preston and Robyn were in dire financial straits throughout their marriage and the growing of their family (I know their debts and some of the divorce proceedings have been discussed here over the years). I suspect that, whether or not he was interested in living polygamy, he may have had the sense to know that adding more adults to the household would be financially untenable. Unlike Kody.