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Duggars by the Dozen - General Discussion Part 15


happy atheist

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Did you all see that Tabitha Paine is apparently a live-in tutor at the Duggar house?

So....what the hell is Michelle doing with her time if Tabitha is most likely doing all of the home schooling?

http://12paines.com/about/tabitha/#comments

Wow. I was kind of wondering what was going to happen with Jessa and Jill gone. I hope this means that poor Jana can catch a break. 

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Well, so this is the answer to the J'Slaves getting married off.  They can just keep doing this until they run out of little Duggarlings to "educate".  You know, get another SAH(fundie)D.  Huh.    And yup - -  I'll bet the State of Arkansas could not care less.  

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I'm sure the Paines are secretly hoping to marry her off as well.  Whether to JD or to a friend of theirs that the Paines would normally see as much.  UGH.  So much is wrong with this. 

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I'm sure the Paines are secretly hoping to marry her off as well.  Whether to JD or to a friend of theirs that the Paines would normally see as much.  UGH.  So much is wrong with this. 

and it's not like she would be the first "live-in court-mate" to work around the compound *cough* Bin. 

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Yes, MakeItSo, that's exactly what I was thinking.  Having Bin move in so he could mow lawns when the Duggars have so many young adults in the house only made sense because he was courting Jessa.  Yet clearly Tabitha is too old for any of the Duggar boys so having her move in makes even less sense.  Maybe she volunteered and Meechelle said "why not?"  Tabitha gets to leave her family, her family has one less mouth to feed, and Meechelle gets free help.  Win win win.  It points out how wasteful it is when you don't allow your SAHDs to train for jobs or to work outside the home-- their value is so low as to be meaningless.  My guess is that Tabitha is given meals and probably little else, like an indentured servant.  Do you think she sleeps in the girls bedroom?

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I bet she's either in the guest room and grandma duggar moved elsewhere. Or she's in the guest home perhaps.

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Well, I hope Tabitha is a better educator than Mechelle, although that isn't saying much.  I'm glad that burden wasn't added to Jana's load. 

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Is it me or does it look like Tabitha is a little too cheerful for a fundie young woman about the possibility of staying single forever? Most of them seem desperate to get married even when they're still in their teens.  

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Is it me or does it look like Tabitha is a little too cheerful for a fundie young woman about the possibility of staying single forever? Most of them seem desperate to get married even when they're still in their teens.  

If she looks just a little bit like her brother, i bet she is okay. The paine kids look "normal" as far as fundie homeschooled kids can go. Or maybe Chad is perfect and somehow his upbringing didn't affect him

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I don't think we have to absolutely write off Tabitha as "too old" for JD. I am not aware of a Gothard rule that the wife can't be older than the husband. I'd think they'd rather have JD married to fundy royalty  like Tabitha than not married at all. 

And if JD doesn't want a ton of kids, marrying an older woman is a good strategy!

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So while it makes perfect sense to me how interconnected the fundie world is, it still feels so insular and effed up.  If there only a small percentage of people with these crazily fundie beliefs and each family has 10-20 kids of course there are going to be intermarriages all over the place, but still... It 2015 and a nearly 30yo SAHD has been loaned out to a woman who has no interest in home schooling her own kids yet refuses them a real education.  And the SAHD would be literally sitting at home reading the bible and helping mom cook if she didn't get to play tutor/governess.  

And this may be the only way for the grown woman to expand her marriage pool.  

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@Handmaiden of Dog I have to admit I don't know not much about her so I was unaware that she was older. That is, of course, not ideal, as that would shorten the time span she'd have to pop out 39 children. So I guess I stand corrected :P

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I bet she's either in the guest room and grandma duggar moved elsewhere. Or she's in the guest home perhaps.

Well, if she gets a room to herself, or the guest house, then maybe this situation is an improvement on her home life.  I don't follow a lot of fundies, but I would assume that this young lady probably shared a bedroom at home with her sisters.  If she at least gets a bedroom all to herself at the Duggar compound, it's a step up. 

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I think as one of the oldest of 19, JD is perfectly content to enjoy the quiet of his little house & airplane.

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I bet she is staying in the girl's room.  I don't think she would be allowed to stay in the guest house by herself.  And do they even have a guest room in the TTH?  I thought that was Mary's room

 

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Tabitha is out of her parent's house, and at 29 I bet she was ready for that. She may earn some pocket money. She gets to interact with more people. She is doing a useful and worthy job. Jana and Jinger get assistence. The children get an education from someone who is dedicated to this job and doesn't have a million other responsibilities. They get some personal attention from a non-family member. And we have another person who could one day write a tell all.To me it sounds like a win many times over. 

My only wtf is, how can she live there for a year without anyone knowing it?

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Tabitha had a smiley smile after her sentence about being single for the rest of her life. That may be how she prefers to live. I'm thinking she is in girls' room, so she can be chaperoned at all times. She is under JB's "protection" now, isn't she?

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My only wtf is, how can she live there for a year without anyone knowing it?

I'm sure we discussed (actually I just read as I was still lurking) the possibility that she was living there doing the schooling or courting not long after Jessa's wedding, when Tabitha started appearing in a heap of photos?  

Found this in the Tabitha Paine hanging with the Duggars thread.


tulip
Doula for Destiny

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Posted 24 June · Report post
Guys, guys, guys. It all makes sense now. Tabitha isn't courting anyone, she's the new-replacement J-slave. They lost 2 last year and so have enlisted help. :angry-banghead:
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I'm going away for Thanksgiving. Limited access to the internet,and family which doesn't understand my Duggar fascination.  They will probably expect me to socialize. What am I going to do for the next week without my FJ fix? :aaarggh:

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Jana is very much my fave, so I'm hoping her and Tabatha are plotting and both leave their families together.

I think it'd be wonderful if Jana could have a roommate and just...live. She'd have so much free time she might actually have to find a hobby. :P No, seriously I think that'd be great. (if that's what she wanted. She always looks slightly tired to me...so I could imagine she would really appreciate a break?)

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This is the comment that follows the explaination by Tabitha:

Tabitha, thank you so much for replying to my comment! I hope I didn’t offend anyone by asking such a personal question. It’s just that the Duggars have really helped me a lot over the years, even though I’ve never actually met them. They’ve really influenced my life and made it possible for me to grow closer to God. It has been such a joy to watch three of the Duggars (Josh, Jill, and Jessa) grow from children to adults and witness them marry and start families. I consider it an honor to have been a small part of that, as a viewer of the show and a long-time fan of the family. It breaks my heart a little bit knowing that I won’t be able to have that insight into the rest of the family anymore. :(

Could you maybe share my feelings with them, and let them know that they have a very loyal fan and supporter in me? Thank you and thanks again for responding. It really made my day! :)

Becky

(PS) Just out of curiosity, is anyone else in the family courting or getting to know anyone? If you can’t answer, that’s fine. I completely understand. Just please know that I’m not asking out of a desire to start rumors or anything. I genuinely love and care for this family and my number one wish is to get the opportunity to meet them someday and tell them how much they mean to me! :)

(End of quote)

At first I read with open mouth. Consider it an honor to be a small part of Josh growing up and starting a family? How delusional can you be? But in the last paragraph it dawned on me. This must be a tabloid journalist. The flattering, the over the top jargon, fishing for news... At least I hope it is. Right? Please? 

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I bet she is staying in the girl's room.  I don't think she would be allowed to stay in the guest house by herself.  And do they even have a guest room in the TTH?  I thought that was Mary's room

 

That makes me so sad. I know that a lot of fundie woman in their 20ies are still sleeping in the same room as their younger sisters, but reading it made me so sad right now.

My mum was in an all-girls catholic boarding school (she enjoyed it very much and she hadn't had any bad experiences with it) and even there the girls over 16 (I think) had to share only with one other girl and the girls over 18 had their own bedroom. They all left school around 19 or 20.

It's really hard for me to imagine staying with a bunch of kids when you're a grown woman. I mean.. when I'd be living in the TTH, I'd probably stay in the shower/on the loo way longer than I'd need it, because I'd want some alone time...

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