Saeed Abedini's wife reveals his abuse of her & use of porn

[Howl]

1 hour ago, onlyme said:

One of my friends on facebook said she thinks his wife made all the abuse allegations up to justify being in love with another man. I just.... what do you say to that? 

Maybe she made the abuse allegations public because her husband is physically and emotionally abusive, she could no longer bear living a lie and she was horrified at the thought of being reunited with him?  There doesn't have to be another man! That's what I'd say to that. If there is another man, I hope he's a really, really nice guy.  

[onlyme]

 

4 minutes ago, Howl said:

 If there is another man, I hope he's a really, really nice guy.  

Me too. I thought in the interview that it really pained her to bring it all up. I finally responded that I didn't believe she sounded like that kind of person and I worry for his family's safety. She liked it, so I guess....  I don't know. So sad all around. 

[Firiel]

A bunch of my Facebook friends were posting the news that he was coming home, so I commented on a few (the ones I thought would appreciate it) that we should pray for Naghmeh too, because of the abuse situation.  I tried to be very diplomatic.  I didn't diss Saeed in any way other than by bringing up Naghmeh's previous declaration of abuse.  One of them deleted my comment and messaged me that it was inappropriate to be discussed in public and that I should have messaged her about it.  I replied an told her it was no big deal and that people suppress stories of abuse all the time on social media, so I was used to it.  I don't think  she liked that...

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

You are all making me happy I'm not on Facebook yet. I'm glad to hear all the different ways you've stood up for Naghmeh and their children. (Even children who aren't directly abused are hurt when their mother is abused.) 

[onlyme]

http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/01/16/saeed-and-naghmeh-abedini-two-kinds-of-violence-both-still-a-prison/?utm_content=buffera4c0b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Julie Ann wrote an article so I posted it. I hope the one who accused her of lying will read it... (facebook)

[Howl]

Reading Julie Anne's article makes me see Naghmeh as an absolutely beautiful and amazing person.  

 

[hoipolloi]

Thank you, onlyme, for posting that link. What a sad situation. One of my FB friends who is fundie posted a link to the announcement that Saeed would be freed. Was tempted to respond by linking to last November's news reports of the abuse but did not do so. 

Hope that Naghmeh's pastor really is supporting her and will continue to do so once Saeed is back in ID. From her FB page:

Quote

 

Naghmeh Abedini Thanks Diane. I am not sure what the future holds. I just know I have to pray on my knees. At the same time, when Saeed comes back, I am not going to break the boundries that I have set for my protection. If Saeed is changed, it will have to be seen by me and my pastor and others before any steps are taken or boundaries are changed. Thank you for your message and concern. [Emphasis added]

Like · Reply · 120 · December 7, 2015 at 10:56am

 

 

[klynn]

I also read this morning he'd been freed and was on his way to the US.  I can't remember who reported it, I just happened to glance at it on my Facebook feed and recognized the name.

[Howl]

Their church is Calvary Chapel in Boise, ID   ccboise.org

From their  What We Believe page: 

Quote

 

WHAT DO YOU TEACH?

The Bible is our creed. Therefore, any effort to define the basis of our teaching necessitates emphasis on the whole Word of God as the sole source of our beliefs. Furthermore, it seems unwise to adhere to the labels of much of Christendom, whether it's Fundamentalism, Pentecostal, Calvinism, Armenianism, Charismatic, Dispensational, Reformed, etc. It is unrealistic to think that any individual man-made system of beliefs is completely error free or, conversely, without merit at all. It is therefore our sincere desire to simply teach the Bible true to its original languages and respectful of its historical context, the context of each passage, and the accepted and normal use of language (i.e. being able to discern the difference between a parable and a proverb, a prophecy and an historical account, etc.). We trust that this will enable us to understand the intended meaning and truth that is to be found in God’s inspired Word.

 

and 

Quote

 

WHAT ARE YOUR ESSENTIAL BELIEFS?

Our nonnegotiable beliefs which transcend labels, and our logical conclusions drawn from the scriptures are:

We believe in the inspiration of the Bible; in God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; in the virgin birth of Christ.  

We believe in Jesus Christ’s blood atonement that provides forgiveness for sin and delivers us from the judgment for sin that awaits all mankind.

We believe in His bodily resurrection and second return to establish His Kingdom upon the earth, followed by the millennial reign of Christ after which He will create a new heaven and a new earth.

 

This being Mormon Country, so of course they have an LDS outreach ministry, for Mormons coming to Jesus.  Mormons already believe that Jesus is the son of God, but not in the right way, I guess.  

They also have a bazillion other ministries, including for those who are divorced, thinking about divorce, don't want to divorce, remarriage, etc.  Doesn't sound like divorce has a high penalty like in some fundy circles. 

Also, both of my thumbs up for a church and pastor who believe her, stand by her and support her with a plan in place to address issues with her husband's return.   Sounds like there might be potential there for regular counseling, beyond pastoral counseling. 

[ThisOlGirl]

I mean, I'm glad he was released, but I'm also glad three others were released. All these fundies hollering about "Freeing Saeed" conveniently forgot to holler about those men, who may or may not be Muslim. Pisses me right off.

[FundieFarmer]

I am glad he is released, if only so that he's not in danger. But it drives me up the damn wall all of the women in this group I'm in, yammering about how thrilled they are he's been released with now acknowledgement of the abuse. It's heavily moderated so I won't say anything, but it really cooks my goose. I'm glad you guys are here to share the same feelings.

[ThisOlGirl]

I am glad he is released, if only so that he's not in danger. But it drives me up the damn wall all of the women in this group I'm in, yammering about how thrilled they are he's been released with now acknowledgement of the abuse. It's heavily moderated so I won't say anything, but it really cooks my goose. I'm glad you guys are here to share the same feelings.

I have maybe one fundie relative on Facebook so fortunately I didn't have to read that BS. I did however make the mistake of going to the Free Saeed FB page, where people were actually saying that the Obama administration had nothing to do with his release, it was all God, Obama is still an evil Muslim, blah blah blah. One person asked if it was God who kept Saeed in prison for 3 years and he was told, no, that was Satan--and Obama. I can't with these people.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Funny, in the interview I saw with Naghmeh, she gave credit to President Obama. (God too, of course.) Maybe they know something she doesn't? (Sarcasm!!)

[apple1]

I am very concerned about the next chapter in this saga. It's unfortunate that Naghmeh's confidence was betrayed. I'm afraid that she might be on the receiving end of repercussions.

[Howl]

Well, I'd love to Gibbs-slap whoever published her confidential emails.  That was pretty damn horrible and at least one person she'll never trust again. 

Urban Dictionary: 

Quote

A sharp, upward slap to the back of the head given to someone acting blaringly stupid. Originated from Special Agent Gibbs from NCIS who employs this maneuver often.

 

[December]

1 hour ago, apple1 said:

I am very concerned about the next chapter in this saga. It's unfortunate that Naghmeh's confidence was betrayed. I'm afraid that she might be on the receiving end of repercussions.

Since he is seen by many people as a Christian hero returning, some people may definitely be more willing to turn a blind eye. Abuse allegations could definitely derail the main narrative about this guy being a victim of religious persecution, and even if the allegations are true I can still imagine some people wouldn't want anything to take away from what they view as the most important message. (All I really knew about the case before reading this thread was some fundie-lite Facebook friends posting about praying for this guy's release.)

Hopefully, he and all the other Americans being returned from Iran will get adequate help upon their return to the US. But his imprisonment doesn't give him, or anyone else, a free pass for domestic violence. I hope someone is actually watching out for this woman and their children, and that she's not afraid to continue advocating for herself after her husband's return.

[paganbaby]

Just because something awful happened to you doesn't mean you're a good person. Assholes can be persecuted for reasons having nothing to do with their assholery.

The fact that his wife didn't intend her allegations to become public and someone violated her confidence is also a frequently ignored part of the controversy.

[teachergirl]

The Reins sisters chimed in when someone posted this very thing on their FB....She "speculated" that it was all media "lies" and perhaps part of the deal to let them go??? Yeah, Iran made his wife make a false confession about adultery and abuse..... They just can't ever believe that one of their own would do something like that. I feel sorry for his wife.

[FundiesInParis]

1 hour ago, teachergirl said:

She "speculated" that it was all media "lies" and perhaps part of the deal to let them go???

w h a t 

[apple1]

15 hours ago, December said:

Since he is seen by many people as a Christian hero returning, some people may definitely be more willing to turn a blind eye. Abuse allegations could definitely derail the main narrative about this guy being a victim of religious persecution, and even if the allegations are true I can still imagine some people wouldn't want anything to take away from what they view as the most important message. (All I really knew about the case before reading this thread was some fundie-lite Facebook friends posting about praying for this guy's release.)

Hopefully, he and all the other Americans being returned from Iran will get adequate help upon their return to the US. But his imprisonment doesn't give him, or anyone else, a free pass for domestic violence. I hope someone is actually watching out for this woman and their children, and that she's not afraid to continue advocating for herself after her husband's return.

Just in case I wasn't 100% clear - I in no way am giving anyone a pass on any type of domestic violence - and that includes this man.

My point, I suppose, is that the ability to choose when, where, and why to share her situation was taken away from Naghmeh, and I have fears that makes her even more vulnerable. I have thought long and hard, and I have decided to sit on my hands, so to speak, and not add any fuel to that fire, and as a result I have "just scrolled by" a few FB posts. I just don't want to - even inadvertently and even being an outsider - do anything that might make her situation worse.

And I am still concerned.

PS - Life is messy (again, NOT excusing anything) and is a continuum of gray. The more common reaction to the Abedini imprisonment and release has been an obvious example of the black and white thinking that we have a couple of other FJ discussions in progress about. I suppose it is human nature to plug people into the "good" or the "bad" slot, and turn denial to any evidence that doesn't fit the slot one has chosen for any particular individual.

[hoipolloi]

Saeed has returned to Idaho per this Facebook update from Naghmeh but she continues to be very open about what's happening:

Quote

 

I do deeply regret that I hid from the public the abuse that I have lived with for most of our marriage and I ask your forgiveness. I sincerely had hoped that this horrible situation Saeed has had to go through would bring about the spiritual change needed in both of us to bring healing to our marriage.

Tragically, the opposite has occurred. Three months ago Saeed told me things he demanded I must do to promote him in the eyes of the public that I simply could not do any longer. He threatened that if I did not the results would be the end of our marriage and the resulting pain this would bring to our children.

I long more than anyone for reconciliation for our family and to be united as a family. Since Saeed's freedom I have wanted nothing more than to run to him and welcome him home It is something I dreamed about the last 3.5 years. But unfortunately things did not work out that way and our family has to work through reconciliation. I want our reconciliation to be strictly based on God’s Word. I want us to go through counseling, which must first deal with the abuse. Then we can deal with the changes my husband and I must both make moving forward in the process of healing our marriage.

In very difficult situations sometimes you have to establish boundaries while you work toward healing. I have taken temporary legal action to make sure our children will stay in Idaho until this situation has been resolved. I love my husband, but as some might understand, there are times when love must stop enabling something that has become a growing cancer. We cannot go on the way it has been. I hope and pray our marriage can be healed. I believe in a God who freed Saeed from the worst prisons can hear our plea and bring spiritual freedom.

 

 

[Koala]

What a tragic situation   I hope the kids are safe while they are with him.

[apple1]

(I have no inside information, and I do not know this woman, other than her statements as previously discussed in this thread).

3 things: I hope she is getting REAL professional counseling. I hope she is protected physically, mentally, and emotionally. I hope the children are safe.

This situation is very sad.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@hoipolloi, thanks for that quote from Facebook. The news reported that Naghmeh had filed a legal motion, but they couldn't say what the purpose of the filing was. (They speculated separation, financial support, or something I forget.) I guess that filing would be her "temporary legal action" to make sure their children stay in Idaho.  However the Abedini's move forward as a family, keeping the kids in their home state has to be a good thing.

[hoipolloi]

34 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@hoipolloi, thanks for that quote from Facebook. The news reported that Naghmeh had filed a legal motion, but they couldn't say what the purpose of the filing was. (They speculated separation, financial support, or something I forget.) I guess that filing would be her "temporary legal action" to make sure their children stay in Idaho.  However the Abedini's move forward as a family, keeping the kids in their home state has to be a good thing.

Hadn't seen the news of a legal motion but I hope that means she IS getting professional support & advice. 

BTW, I only saw this because a FB friend who is fundie posted a comment to Naghmeh's update that appeared in my FB news feed. My FB friend's comments were the usual "Only you & Saeed know the truth of what's happening, we can't judge you or Saeed, we're praying for you, yada, yada, yada."

Another fundie responded with "Now that she has involved the State of Idaho it is not between just her and Saeed."

Thank heaven & the  for that, I say.