The Marriage Bed

[Sundaymorning]

That really is sad. I do wonder how many other fundies are secretly having those kinds of struggles in their marriage. 

Well, if we assume that around 5%* of the population is lgbti, then there must be quite a lot of fundies who struggle with that. After all, not only the person who is lgbti is affected, but also their partner.

*5% is a conservative estimate. With a sensitive and controversial topic like this, it's almost impossible to tell the real numbers as many people won't tell the truth about their sexual orientation or identity. According to my own and other gay's personal experience, the number is probably higher.

[Grace]

I just spent one of the saddest hours of my life reading some of that stuff. Eek. Some of it is just fun snark but lots is SO FREAKING DEPRESSING!!!! 

 

[Jasmar]

This is this is my favorite so far:

"Air can build up inside the vagina and in certain positions or circumstances, that air can be forced out of the vagina with a sound similar to flatulence. There really isn't much you can do about this, don't worry about it. If you talk about this with your FH beforehand it may ease any embarrassment you may potentially feel about it. "  http://www.boards.themarriagebed.com/viewtopic.php?p=617995#p617995

I was oddly uninformed about sex beyond the mechanics, despite growing up in a very feminist home, reading "Our Bodies, Ourselves" at way too young an age... This one cracked me up because I remember being horrified the first time I experienced it. Hilarious now, deadly embarrassing back in the day.

[Pretzel]

Can you imagine the pre-marital discussions? Preferably in courtship, while your parents are tomato staking you the whole time? "Mom, Dad, Mom-in-law, Dad-in-law, as you're guiding *special friend* and me through this special season of life, could you bless us with your godly marital advice on the topic of vaginal flatulence?"

 

ETA: This is my 1234th post. I'm a sucker for numbers, so I had been anticipating this one forever and a day. 

[blessalessi]

This piece is written by a man who has advice for women, based on his own ignorance.

 

1. Do your research on birth control, don't just go ask your doctor and take whatever they give you. Really research it, find out how it works, what it does, side effects, etc. Look into popular alternatives to chemical birth control, there are plenty of options out there. 

2. Will you be having your period on the honeymoon? Fortunately for us this was not the case, but does happen. In addition to whatever kind of birth  control you may have chosen, you can get a prescription for types of birth control or hormones that will stop your period and allow you to keep it at bay for a while, so you can enjoy your time with your hubby without having to worry about that part of it

So yeah, ladies, avoid evil chemical birth control, unless you are using it in order to change your cycle so you can still pleasure your husband on your wedding night.  Then it's totes OK!

I'm surprised any Christian Fundie woman ever want to get married when they read all this misogynistic bullshit.

[Jasmar]

ROFL! I cannot imagine what courtship parents are thinking. 

One thing I'll say for that thread: It made me realize that I have a lot more to tell my teenagers about sex than what I've already done. 

ETA: One of my old girlfriends cracked me up one time when she told me in great detail about how she and a boyfriend would laugh about chest farts during sex. 

[jozina]

I can remember one of the very last posts I read, titled, "delightful stray hair," which was a man detailing the pleasure he gave and received slowly pulling free shed head hairs which had gotten trapped in his wife's labia. People chimed in with all the other items they had used to similar effect. They're all just getting off on it and admonishing the lustful to avert their eyes.

And that is the weirdest thing I'm going to read on the internet this month.  Sweet Jeebus.

[insanityzcat]

I can remember one of the very last posts I read, titled, "delightful stray hair," which was a man detailing the pleasure he gave and received slowly pulling free shed head hairs which had gotten trapped in his wife's labia. People chimed in with all the other items they had used to similar effect. They're all just getting off on it and admonishing the lustful to avert their eyes.

That did it. I'm sobbing laughing.

Goddamnit, I have to do things today and now not only am I commenting for once, but I'm going down a rabbithole of wtf. This is so sad, but this is so funny, omg.

They're writing themselves porn and justifying it by their future or current marriage, I cannot even with the logic. I can only laugh or I'll cry. This ridiculous hypocritical bull is why I left. 

[Iamhispurity]

Can we talk about What two things should a bride know about the wedding night?

Is it only me or are they advocating for marital rape and blaming a woman for her husbands infidelity?

[blessalessi]

I can't continue reading it. I feel sick at the sorts of people who seem to get off on making arbitrary rules about how to violate womems' bodies.

[AlwaysExcited]

The honeymoon should be about getting to know each other

Isn't that something you do BEFORE marriage?
I'm clearly not an expert, but I had this little, naive idea that most people don't marry strangers.

[AlwaysExcited]

The honeymoon should be about getting to know each other

Isn't that something you do BEFORE marriage?
I'm clearly not an expert, but I had this little, naive idea that most people don't marry strangers.

[JoyfullyUnavailable]

The honeymoon should be about getting to know each other

Isn't that something you do BEFORE marriage?
I'm clearly not an expert, but I had this little, naive idea that most people don't marry strangers.

Agreed! You wouldn't buy a new car without test driving it first. This analogy can be interpret many ways with respect to relationships and marriage.

[Vivi_music]

I just spent one of the saddest hours of my life reading some of that stuff. Eek. Some of it is just fun snark but lots is SO FREAKING DEPRESSING!!!! 

 

Same for me. I love to snark but lots of these messages made me more sad than anything else. I got kind of lost in the rabbit whole but nope... Once is enough for me.

[Kittikatz]

I have seen this before, and remember being utterly gobsmacked by the level of stupid, and very sad for the women in some of these situations... Followed the link and discovered that my IP address has been permanently banned. WTF? I never had an account or posted my mirth or derision.  Going to chalk it up to more evidence in favour of gross stupidity.

 

[docmom]

This piece is written by a man who has advice for women, based on his own ignorance.

 

So yeah, ladies, avoid evil chemical birth control, unless you are using it in order to change your cycle so you can still pleasure your husband on your wedding night.  Then it's totes OK!

I'm surprised any Christian Fundie woman ever want to get married when they read all this misogynistic bullshit.

Yep, definitely don't want to trust those pesky medical professionals with advice about contraception.  The internet is a much better resource for sure.