Noah's (Theme P)Ark Opens in July

[AnywhereButHere]

I thought we already had an atheist theme park--Las Vegas

But Vegas is Satan's playground! Or would that be considered the same thing? 

[HeadshipRegent]

FJ field trip?  

I'd be terrified of that place. I hate animatronics and going on Disney's Splash Mountain was hell to me, I can't even imagine how it'd be like in a room full of animal animatronics.

[Toothfairy]

I hope this is free. Jesus died for my sins. 

[Joyleaf]

I would be surprised if real animals were involved in this debacle. Even by the low standards of roadside zoos, the conditions would be horrible. It would be a PETA investigation waiting to happen.

Looking at some of the pictures they published they plan to at least have smaller animals in there, and even that would be appalling.
http://www.wired.com/2013/12/the-ark-park-needs-to-sink/

[kpmom]

Great idea! Being inspired by those awesome guys I decided to make the Eden theme park. It will be a garden. With a tree.

Have fun!

P.S. Snacks are forbidden. Abuse of this rule will result in immediate and irrevocable expulsion. No money back.

Eden before the fall?  Yay, no clothing allowed!

[blessalessi]

Everything you need to know about Noah's Ark in a fun kids song. Definitely legit with no plot holes. 

I remember this from Sunday School!

[AlwaysExcited]

http://www.wired.com/2013/12/the-ark-park-needs-to-sink/

Stupid. They are so stupid. 

“We originally thought about a lot more exotic animals on the ark, but as we got into the design and the code restrictions, we realized we weren’t going to be able to do what we wanted to do. Because the ark is what it is, people do expect to encounter some live animals while they are walking around… but we had to modify what we planned do with large animals on board. We’ve gone from trying to have an actual zoo inside with exotic animals to mostly farm animals. Little farm animals, like mini-cows.”

[tankgirl]

I thought we already had an atheist theme park--Las Vegas

No way, there is more pray'n in Vegas, then in almost all the churches in the good old' USA put together, on any given day. 

[AmazonGrace]

Well I reckon if God was concerned with animal welfare he'd never have drowned an earthful of critters.

 

But if they want visitors to bring money they probably shouldn't have it all stinky from cow dung and urine,

[JoyfullyUnavailable]

Well I reckon if God was concerned with animal welfare he'd never have drowned an earthful of critters.

 

But if they want visitors to bring money they probably shouldn't have it all stinky from cow dung and urine,

All part of the divine plan. The animals drowned so one day we could have fossil fuels. God wants us to drive fancy cars and live surrounded with plastic. It makes him smile.

[IreneIssh]

FJ field trip?  

I'd be terrified of that place. I hate animatronics and going on Disney's Splash Mountain was hell to me, I can't even imagine how it'd be like in a room full of animal animatronics.

Finally someone else who is terrified of animatronics! My boyfriend and roommates keep making fun of me! I went to Universal Studios a couple summers ago and had to reface the childhood trauma that was the ET ride. 

That being said, though, I would love to go to this park if I had free admission. It seems like it would be fun to snark on. 

[doggie]

Finally someone else who is terrified of animatronics! My boyfriend and roommates keep making fun of me! I went to Universal Studios a couple summers ago and had to reface the childhood trauma that was the ET ride. 

That being said, though, I would love to go to this park if I had free admission. It seems like it would be fun to snark on. 

as long as you don't snark in the park or they will kick you out.

[morri]

I like how it says it rained for 40 days... when that would be a normal English summer

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

Man with the whimsical music you would think we were going on the Polar express.

Ahh good ol' Ken Shamm wanted to build this with government money too, I remember when Swanson had him on whining about how they should allow him to get a grant because it's 'history'

[AmazonGrace]

A lesson in history and biology.

[CloakNDagger]

Just because they used modern equipment doesn't mean that the old methods wouldn't have worked... I mean, look at the ancient buildings and the pyramids. Stuff could really get done in the old days.

[AmazonGrace]

Yeah but I think the pyramids probably got built by an army of slaves and not by a lone man with a small family.

[halcionne]

I followed their instagram for a while, where they post construction progress and the like. I think most of the animals will be stationary dummies. For reasons I don't understand, they thought it would be cool to recreate extinct (or mythical? I don't recall) creatures for the majority of displays. And they're pretty proud of the fact that they got Mennonite/Amish ladies to hand weave or sew (idr again) the fabric items. It all got pretty eye roll worthy and I unfollowed.

https://www.instagram.com/arkencounter/

[AlwaysExcited]

Yeah but I think the pyramids probably got built by an army of slaves and not by a lone man with a small family.

The pyramids were not built by slaves.

/Irrelevant to the topic, I just had to say that. Sorry.

[formergothardite]

Just because they used modern equipment doesn't mean that the old methods wouldn't have worked... I mean, look at the ancient buildings and the pyramids. Stuff could really get done in the old days.

The building of it is the one of the least problems with the flood story. Though having read a book about ark/flood stories that came before the Noah's ark story there are some fascinating ways that people built boats back then. 

[AnywhereButHere]

Yeah but I think the pyramids probably got built by an army of slaves and not by a lone man with a small family.

Apparently, they were built by a coalition of farmers to be rather large and pointy grain silos. 

(Thank you Reoublicans for an alternatively amusing and frightening campaign season.)

[formergothardite]

I should add that while a Noah type person could have built an ark, from what I can tell it would have been impossible to build a floating ark like described in the Bible. 

[AmazonGrace]

Nah, if God can drown a planet he can float an ark.

[formergothardite]

Nah, if God can drown a planet he can float an ark.

True. He can also totally make it look like he didn't drown a planet. Perks of being God. 

[purple_summer]

I'm willing to bet monopoly money that my family will be there not long after the opening.