Mallys and Bright Lights and Weddings

[PennySycamore]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Omg brevity is not his friend! That was painful to read! 

And wouldn't that have been better if the post had only been about the wedding?

[Flossie]

That was about a wedding?  I admit that I didn't read every word in the beginning, and stopped reading at all at a certain point.

I thought he was talking about walking someone to a highly ritualized death sentence.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Grace's facebook profile pic shows a bit of the dress. Looks like a lot of modesty alterations-- anyone seen a full photo?

[AmazonGrace]

Dear Mr. Mally

weddings are not funerals. There is no goddamn reason to refer to your daughter's wedding as "a sort of death",  or "a true end", or "a final end of family as it is". Your daughter's wedding is about her happiness and her groom's happiness, and the beginning of their marriage.  It is not all about you and what you felt when you were in the spotlight for the briefest of moments, feeling jealous that another man is important to your daughter.

if you have occasion to write about weddings in the future, try to stick to congratulations.

Respectfully, AmazonGrace.

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Grace's facebook profile pic shows a bit of the dress. Looks like a lot of modesty alterations-- anyone seen a full photo?

That’s all I’ve seen. I feel like fundies have no excuse these days. They should be able to find a dress that doesn’t need to be altered for modesty. Back when I was looking for a wedding dress a decade ago, everything was strapless. I’m not exaggerating. Everything. If I was lucky, I could find one with spaghetti straps. I ended up with a dress that came with a little bolero. Because there was literally not a single dress with actual long sleeves attached. Now I see dresses with high necklines and long sleeves all the time. They are everywhere. Fundies should have lots of choice these days.

[PennySycamore]

18 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Dear Mr. Mally

weddings are not funerals. There is no goddamn reason to refer to your daughter's wedding as "a sort of death",  or "a true end", or "a final end of family as it is". Your daughter's wedding is about her happiness and her groom's happiness, and the beginning of their marriage.  It is not all about you and what you felt when you were in the spotlight for the briefest of moments, feeling jealous that another man is important to your daughter.

if you have occasion to write about weddings in the future, try to stick to congratulations.

Respectfully, AmazonGrace.

Don't most families in the US think that their family has expanded to include a son- or daughter-in-law when their daughters marry?  At least that was how it is in my family.  Of course, my husband and I married in Roman Catholic ceremony 40 years ago and the dad does not "give" the bride away. AFAIK, that has never been the Catholic practice.

[DefraudedByPlaid]

I know some were wondering if Mr. Mally's wedding message was hurtful to his daughters, particularly his older daughter. While I found what he wrote troubling and ooky, I'm guessing Sarah didn't mind... because according to her (public) FB she is engaged! (I can't remember if we're allowed to link to FB pages here.)

I was never convinced Sarah was necessarily unhappy as a single person - after all, as a visible ministry leader and author, she got to do things many other women in the fundie-lite or fundie worlds don't have the chance to do - speak at conferences, lead workshops, design Bible studies and curriculums, be a published author, travel all over the world, etc. Things she clearly enjoyed doing. Things that would be harder to do if she got married young and chose to live a Quiverfull lifestyle. With both her and her sister married - the two faces of Bright Lights - I'm curious how things will change in their family's ministries.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Wow! They actually seem like a decent match-- age appropriate, live in the same area, similar work in "ministry," even sort of look alike. I guess there's hope for our aging SAHDs yet.

Edited February 5, 2020 by NachosFlandersStyle

[JermajestyDuggar]

Here is her description of amyone is interested:

What will her father do with himself now that all the children will be out of the house?

[Maxwell]

Went snooping... cause that's who i am... found Parkview Church in Iowa City.  They don't state that they are an Evangelical Free Church on their website but it's them.  Can't find anyone on staff listed as Andrew Hancock but did find Andrew Brooks listed as a "J Life Ministry Assistant".  Hmmm.

But what I really came to say was that they have a Children's Ministry Assistant named "Holliday Bender"!!

[Coconut Flan]

I just saw a report that Sarah Mally is engaged.  

[clueliss]

And the newsletter with Sarah is engaged

Quote

View this email online

Dear Friends,

It has been a season of blessing and growth for our family. We are excited to share about it in this newsletter. Also, it’s time to think about ordering St. Patrick tracts (see below), and take note of the upcoming “Answers for Women” conference at the Ark Encounter where Sarah is speaking.

I Said Yes! (By Sarah Mally)

I said yes!!! Andrew Hancock and I got engaged last month! He proposed on the beach in Florida, after a beautiful boat ride watching dolphins. We are so thankful to the Lord for bringing us together and for the many people who have prayed and encouraged us along the way.

Andrew lives in North Liberty—about 40 minutes from us. But, even though we have lived in the same area for most of our lives, are the same age, and have both been in discipleship ministry, neither of us had heard of each other or each other’s ministries. We are super thankful that a friend introduced us in March of 2018. As soon as Andrew and I met, we knew we shared a similar ministry heart, and we have had two wonderful years of seeing our friendship deepen and grow.

One of my prayer requests for a future husband was for a man who had a heart for discipleship ministry. The Lord answered that prayer above and beyond in Andrew. Andrew’s primary ministries over the years have been leading a number of college discipleship ministries and serving as the young adult pastor at Parkview Evangelical Free Church. One of his biggest passions is training leaders in the context of the local church, with a heart to equip the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:12).

“The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy” (Psalm 126:3).
 

Sarah is Getting Married!  (by Harold Mally)

I can hardly believe it – two Mally weddings within six months. Last month, after two years of a growing and special relationship, Andrew met me for coffee and asked for Sarah’s hand in marriage. I was expecting he might bring that up. I gave him a “yes” and said I had been waiting for him to ask :-). I was wondering if it would ever happen. Sarah and Grace have both wanted to marry but, not knowing God’s plan, had committed their single years to ministry, for however long that would be. And God extended those years, which made us wonder for a while. 

Recently, my thoughts turned to the Book of Ruth. In chapter 3, verse 18, Naomi said to Ruth, “Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day.”  This was wise advice from a mother-in-law. Be at rest, clearly God is at work. And this man is faithful; he will take care of it in due time. And likewise we can sit still and wait and rest in the Lord. He will bring about His perfect plan in His perfect time and way. We can trust Him. 

I had been praying for a man who was committed to Jesus Christ, who was a man of the Word, who was gentle in spirit, and who was ministry minded and would understand the ministry God had entrusted to Sarah. And I am so encouraged that Andrew also senses a calling to disciple men and has been used of the Lord to disciple many. That is the very thing I believe is needed. The Body of Christ needs spiritually strong men to be fathers, elders, missionaries, businessmen and leaders. The fathers of today will be the forefathers of tomorrow.   

As serious relationships start to develop, they require much wisdom, prayer, patience, and faith. At the beginning, I met Andrew for coffee a couple times. Coffee is always a good start. ? Both families met early on and then Andrew and I, and several other men met for a few months doing a leadership study together. This was another way to get to know each other from a ministry perspective. In various ways we have purposed to get to know and understand each other, because, although marriage is the uniting of two individuals, it is also, ideally, the healthy uniting of two families. Marriage both starts a new family but also blends the strengths of the two former families. We are so pleased that God has truly blessed Sarah and our family with a faithful man. 

When Sarah and Andrew left for Florida last month to spend time with his family, Sarah was filled with a spirit of anticipation that a next step in the relationship could come soon, but she didn’t know that he had already asked me. It was a wonderful joy for her, and for both families, and for both churches when Sarah and Andrew announced their engagement. We look forward with great expectation to what God has ahead.  
 

St. Patrick’s Tracts

St. Patrick’s Day is coming up on March 17th! It’s time to be prepared with “History of St. Patrick” tracts to give away. This tract tells a brief story of Patrick’s life, and then explains the message he preached, giving a simple and clear gospel presentation. People usually receive the tract warmly, and they are often curious about the life of St. Patrick.

Ideas for St. Patrick’s tracts during the month of March:

Give them away to neighbors with plates of green cookies

Check if there is a St. Patrick parade in your area and arrange a group of people to hand them out (you can easily give them away by the thousands at a parade)

Keep them in your purse or pocket to give to people that you meet. Say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here is the history of St. Patrick for you to read.”

Holidays open up doors for ministry! We encourage you to make the most of the opportunity. Read or order the tract here. 

 

Online Resource of the Month

This month we are selling CDs of our family presentations for $3.00 each. These CDs include:

Forty Ways to Protect the Heart of Your Daughter (by Harold)

Raising Pure Daughters in a Generation of Darkness (by Sarah)

Every Mother’s Example (by Rebekah)

Singleness: A Season of Fruitfulness and Joy (by Sarah)

Preparing Young Ladies for Their Teen Years (by Sarah)

Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends (by Sarah, Stephen, and Grace)

Practical Encouragement on Witnessing (by Sarah and Grace)

And others

This offer will be honored on our online store through March 31st. At checkout use promocode: CD2020

 

Answers for Women Conference

Sarah is thankful for the opportunity to be speaking at the Answers for Women Conference this March, hosted by Answers in Genesis. Sarah will be sharing a session on "How to Identify Lies and Speak Truth in Your Heart."

Location: Ark Encounter, Williamstown, KY
Dates: March 27-28th

Answers for Women 2020 will delve deeply into God’s Word to find out the truth to questions Christians face today. Satan is crafty, and he mixes truth with error making it hard to discern right from wrong. But when we understand and embrace God’s Word, we will know the difference between the truth and the lies and we will not be deceived. We will be able to hold fast to Christ, and we will be equipped to help others live out their faith with a sincere heart.

 

Special Request

As our ministry is in transition with two marriages and some unknowns about the future, we at the Bright Lights/Tomorrow’s Forefathers office feel a specific need for prayer. We are wondering if some who are reading this newsletter would agree to pray for Bright Lights and Light Shop and other aspects of the Tomorrow’s Forefather’s Ministry? We know that many of you already do. But we would like to ask if you would be willing to receive a short regular prayer list? If so, could you please reply at harold@tomorrowsforefathers.com and we will put you on the prayer team. It would be wonderful to have several dozen people praying for specific things. We know that many pray for us but we haven’t had a formal prayer group that we keep in touch with. Thank you!

 

Upcoming Schedule:
March 27-28: Answers for Women Conference – Ark Encounter, Sarah is speaking
May 2: Andrew and Sarah’s wedding
June 12-13: Homeschool Iowa Conference – Harold is speaking and we will have a booth
June 20: Men’s One Day 100 Mile Bike Trip – the “Centurion Challenge” – contact Harold Mally for details
June 25-28: Just Men Conference (for men age 16 and up) – Cedar Rapids, Iowa
August 13-23: Iowa State Fair Evangelism Outreach with Answers in Genesis
Sep. 25-27: Ladies Retreat – Camp Hope, Dahlonega, GA, Sarah is speaking

May God richly bless you and your families!
The Mally Family, Moffitt Family, and Bright Lights Staff

Tomorrow's Forefathers, Inc.

 

 

To change your subscription, click here.

 

[clueliss]

Ooh - email regarding Sarah's marriage - there might just be info coming regarding weblink for the wedding.  I'll let you all know when I have that.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Their registry says the wedding is May 2nd.

[clueliss]

Spoiler

Livestream of My Wedding

As we shared in our recent ministry newsletter, I got engaged in January, and am getting married on May 2nd! Andrew and I are so thankful for how the Lord brought us together and excited about what the Lord has for us next!

 

I wanted to let you know that we will be livestreaming our wedding, which is Saturday, May 2nd, at 2:00 PM. Feel free to pass this on to girls in your Bright Lights groups. I will send more specific information later, but just wanted to let you know the date and time. :-)

 

So did the email.

[Petronella]

WHY would anyone publicly livestream a wedding? WHY??? Who is this aimed at? Why do they want people they don’t know watching? WHY???

I’m just really confused. Don’t they have some natural sense of privacy or dignity? Do they imagine this is some kind of royalty situation where they owe the public they represent a piece of their celebrity lives? ‘Cause if that’s how they think, that’s WEIRD.

[uber frau]

I think a lot of conservative communities still view weddings as community events, not private or family ones.  The community where I grew up certainly did.  Small weddings (and I that term relatively since huge, intermarried families were very much the norm so weddings where just the family were invited were still pretty huge) were something that was at best odd, and usually only happened when something wasn't quite kosher.

These people's community is a huge hodgepodge of other conservatively minded folks who are spread out over a continent  (or further).  It's just one of those things where the tradition has evolved with the technology. 

There are people in my (extended) family who do this and it's become quite normal for funerals. it's quite difficult for peopleto drop everything at short notice and attend a fairly last minute event on the other side of the world . 

 

Edited March 13, 2020 by uber frau

[Petronella]

3 hours ago, uber frau said:

I think a lot of conservative communities still view weddings as community events, not private or family ones.  The community where I grew up certainly did.  Small weddings (and I that term relatively since huge, intermarried families were very much the norm so weddings where just the family were invited were still pretty huge) were something that was at best odd, and usually only happened when something wasn't quite kosher.

These people's community is a huge hodgepodge of other conservatively minded folks who are spread out over a continent  (or further).  It's just one of those things where the tradition has evolved with the technology. 

There are people in my (extended) family who do this and it's become quite normal for funerals. it's quite difficult for peopleto drop everything at short notice and attend a fairly last minute event on the other side of the world . 

 

That's a good point. I understand wanting to include one's community; I just hadn't considered online community, I guess.

And I know that online relationships can be strong ones (and in many cases are people you actually know, just don't live near), but I wonder if the audience they're thinking about for this is truly "cousin so-and-so who lives too far away" and "childhood best friend who just had a baby", or if it's more followers-and-audience, in which case yes I find that creepy. If this is a blanket invitation to everyone who receives their newsletter, or a public Facebook event, then I sure do give it side-eye. It's one thing to want to include people who you would love to have there personally but they can't come, quite another to put on a show for the masses. I guess what I'm wondering is, did the Mallys attend/watch the weddings of all the people they're giving this info to? If not, then, well, it's a performance, not a relationship.

[uber frau]

Again, I think it's an extension of the old way of doing things.  Until very recently, anyone could walk into any church service.  It might have been considered  the height of rudeness to make a scene (take note JRod), but the door was unlocked.  It didn't matter if it was a standard service or a wedding or a funeral, the town drunk and everyone else was welcome to come and watch.  It's a new thing to have heavies standing at the door to keep out troublemakers (or 'trouble makers').

In a lot of places, traditional wedding services aren't really about the people getting married anyway,  they're mostly about God. Historically, the wedding bits were sometimes even just tacked onto the end of a normal Sunday service.

In the case of the Malleys (and most of the fundies who are in the evangelism/missionary  game), I do think there is definitely an element of it being a show.  They're basically using their weddings as a giant advertisement for their brand of fundievangelicalism.  

[clueliss]

I get these emails because I used to be a bright lights leader.  And a Sarah wants to be sure that everyone who does bright lights can view it and participate.  They just didn’t count on someone (me) being enlightened by FJ and willing to put up with the emails and in this case willing to share the link for this shindig 

[Petronella]

1 hour ago, uber frau said:

In the case of the Malleys (and most of the fundies who are in the evangelism/missionary  game), I do think there is definitely an element of it being a show.  They're basically using their weddings as a giant advertisement for their brand of fundievangelicalism.  

I agree!

1 hour ago, uber frau said:

It didn't matter if it was a standard service or a wedding or a funeral, the town drunk and everyone else was welcome to come and watch.  It's a new thing to have heavies standing at the door to keep out troublemakers (or 'trouble makers').

We didn't have bouncers of any kind at our wedding. I don't think most people do. But a church wedding being open to the whole congregation/parish is different from deliberately advertising your wedding to strangers around the world.

26 minutes ago, clueliss said:

They just didn’t count on someone (me) being enlightened by FJ and willing to put up with the emails and in this case willing to share the link for this shindig 

But even to the readers who do follow their teachings, the power differential is gross to me. Sarah's wedding is touted as a special event they should livestream. But would she watch their weddings in return? It seems very "I'm a star, learn from me, peasants."

 

[Tangy Bee]

Wow, looks like Tim Tebow isn't the only one yelling, "FINALLY" this year. I deserve a down vote for that creepy comment. Sorry, I just couldn't resist?

[NachosFlandersStyle]

9 hours ago, Petronella said:

WHY would anyone publicly livestream a wedding? WHY??? Who is this aimed at? Why do they want people they don’t know watching? WHY???

I mean, at this point, it may be safer than an in-person wedding ?

[Petronella]

4 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I mean, at this point, it may be safer than an in-person wedding ?

Haha, fair!

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

But even to the readers who do follow their teachings, the power differential is gross to me. Sarah's wedding is touted as a special event they should livestream. But would she watch their weddings in return? It seems very "I'm a star, learn from me, peasants."

But it IS!  I can't wait to see it!   My gast is positively flabbered by this news.  I never thought I'd see Sarah in a wedding dress.

Sarah Mally has been radiating Godliness, Holiness, and Purity for so many years.  It will give those peasants (and the Botkinettes, to say nothing of Poor Sarah Maxwell) hope. 

She's, what, 39 now.   Perhaps the brother will finally commit to being sullied by matrimony if both sisters tie the knot.  And I can't believe I completely missed Grace's wedding.  I must be slacking.

As far as livestreaming the wedding, Fundies have been doing it for ages.  It is a Powerful Testimony to all their followers.   I think the first livestream wedding I watched in its entirety was Christopher Maxwell and Anna (Marie) Hamilton in 2010.  Steve preached about DEATH.  

3 hours ago, uber frau said:

 Until very recently, anyone could walk into any church service.  It might have been considered  the height of rudeness to make a scene (take note JRod), but the door was unlocked.  It didn't matter if it was a standard service or a wedding or a funeral, the town drunk and everyone else was welcome to come and watch.  It's a new thing to have heavies standing at the door to keep out troublemakers (or 'trouble makers').

Wow.  With the exception of royal and celebrity weddings where I assume they check lists of invitees, I didn't know this was even happening.  Bouncers at churches.

Churches are public spaces and some sentimental parish members (usually church ladies) always attended weddings in my day.  They sat in the back and enjoyed themselves but knew they were not invited to the reception.  If someone had threatened trouble in advance or tried to disrupt the wedding then the ushers and church staff were supposed to deal with it discretely, calling the police if necessary.

A bunch of tourist wandered into the church and started taking photos during my wedding.  They were quickly subdued by a couple of ushers and the official photographer having a firm but quiet word with the tour guide.  "The Bride has requested NO photographs during the ceremony at all."   That was because 1. both sets of parents were very religious and were horrified by the very idea of a photographer disrupting the religious service and 2. I was fine with that because I was afraid I would ugly-cry.  I did notice the tourists taking many photos after we exited the church but was completely oblivious to them during the ceremony.

Edited March 13, 2020 by Palimpsest