How to plan holiday meals, Teri Maxwell style

[EyeQueue]

You're not weird; you're awesome! That's exactly how I eat my post-Thanksgiving sandwiches, down to the gravy. 

That has long been one of my favorite ways to clean out the post-Thanksgiving larder, but a couple of years ago, I discovered another great option: making it into a frittata.

You take your stuffing (or dressing--we call ours dressing) and put a bit in the bottom of a pan, with whatever leftover veggies you happen to have (sweet potatoes and broccoli are good options). Then you whip up your eggs and pour them in and grate a little bit of reggiano on top and throw it in the oven until done and....wa-LA!

[CyborgKin]

After cooking for so many, especially Christmas, who the hell wants to cook anything for the next day or two. Bring out the leftovers!!

Exactly, half the point of Christmas meals is having leftovers for days!

[Lillybee]

The lettuce thing really shocked me because it is a staple in our house-- I never run out of lettuce.  This makes me think that no one in their house can just eat a salad if they prefer.  For example if Sarah was feeling hot and didn't have much appetite she might want a salad for lunch instead of a bean burrito.  But I guess she is SOL because the Maxwells don't have lettuce in the house.

Sparkles you nailed it perfectly. I have wondered if Teri makes such a big to do about organizing because it makes her more important.  She is the general and the troops must follow orders.  Sure her daughters might do all the cooking but Teri decides what they eat and how much food they are allowed to cook. That's why they all must eat exactly the same thing-- nobody is allowed to eat a salad on General Teri's watch!

Hell, the Maxwells have a weekly meal schedule.

Read it and weep.

 

I just found the Maxwell meal plan. How boring is this?

 

Here's what our lunch menu is:

--Monday, Sandwiches

--Tuesday, Soup

--Wednesday, Pizza Bread (Bread toasted, then spread pizza sauce and mozzarella cheese: melt in the oven)

--Thursday, Bean Burritos or Breakfast Burritos

--Friday and Saturday, whatever (sometimes leftovers, Macaroni and Cheese, etc)

 

Dinner Menu:

We have salad and fruit each dinner.

 

Sunday--burritos

Wednesday--just salad and fresh tortillas

Saturday--homemade soup and fresh bread

Other evenings are variable

 

[blessalessi]

So on Wednesdays they have slices of bread with pizza sauce and cheese for lunch, then for dinner just salad and plain tortillas. The green snoothie really is the most nutritional part of the day!

They seem to enjoy plenty of Pringles, chocolate, sweet drinks and other crap for snacks though.  I wonder if they would have the same appetite for junk food (that Steve fears and despises), if only they would eat three good balanced meals a day.

They seem in many ways to have the appetites of young children.  I remember somewhere seeing a blog post where they were excited at some family or conference meal, to have a whole worktop filled with every processed sauce and salad dressing squeezy bottle known to man.

It makes me weep to see their fantastic kitchens, knowing that very little high quality food is produced.  They clearly have enough, and enjoy the crap they eat, but when do they reap the benefits of all the high-end kitchen equipment they own?

[halcionne]

Sad boring menu for a sad boring family. The Maxwells' hell on earth makes me sad. 

That menu sounds nutritionally deficient, too, but I like lots and lots of protein.

[Naga Viper]

BTW, do you think Steve's reading here during his fast, or is he fasting from us? Every time we have technical problems I wonder if he's specifically praying against FJ.

I would guess he's still reading here. Easier to power through an act of pure will if you go online periodically and see the haters mocking your efforts.

[salsa]

I wonder what the after action report looks like for after their sexy action....

[Eternalbluepearl]

I wonder what the after action report looks like for after sexy action....

This is gross. It got me thinking though, when Teri was so depressed and hated her life as a mother, she still kept having sex and getting pregnant. I wonder if she tried to get out of sex and wasn't allowed to? 

[Dandruff]

Anyone know why the Maxwells put flags on their family graves?  What kind of flags, especially for a newborn?  I'm not snarking here...I just don't get it.

[iweartanktops]

I wonder what the after action report looks like for after their sexy action....

[socalrules]

Wait, wait, wait.

If they have salad and fruit with every dinner, how do they just have salad and tortillas for dinner on Wednesday? So they lose an entree on Wednesdays? Is it special salad day or are their two that day? Do they just put lettuce in the tortillas? They must be having a mini fast on Wednesdays. I would be starving with a maxwell salad and bare tortillas for dinner.

 If they have salads with every dinner then shouldn't they have had some type of lettuce for BBQs? Does anyone really believe that their salads have anything other than lettuce, tomato and maybe a radish to spice things up? I am sure there is no cheese, egg, meat and delicious fatty ranch dressing.

With that many adults in the house, there is no need to plan lunch. Are they all required to eat lunch together everyday? Dinner I can understand but doesn't this just show that no one in that family has anywhere to be in the middle of the day?

[iweartanktops]

Wait, wait, wait.

If they have salad and fruit with every dinner, how do they just have salad and tortillas for dinner on Wednesday? So they lose an entree on Wednesdays? Is it special salad day or are their two that day? Do they just put lettuce in the tortillas? They must be having a mini fast on Wednesdays. I would be starving with a maxwell salad and bare tortillas for dinner.

 If they have salads with every dinner then shouldn't they have had some type of lettuce for BBQs? Does anyone really believe that their salads have anything other than lettuce, tomato and maybe a radish to spice things up? I am sure there is no cheese, egg, meat and delicious fatty ranch dressing.

With that many adults in the house, there is no need to plan lunch. Are they all required to eat lunch together everyday? Dinner I can understand but doesn't this just show that no one in that family has anywhere to be in the middle of the day?

All of this just really stressed me out! I would lose my mind in Maxhell. 

[Trynn]

We always eat the same thing for thanksgiving-- and we like it. We also loooooove the leftovers. That's part of the holiday fun for us: getting to eat food we don't eat often. Why on earth would we want to work to eliminate leftovers? Especially those of us who are still poor college students.

[nastyhobbitses]

We always eat the same thing for thanksgiving-- and we like it. We also loooooove the leftovers. That's part of the holiday fun for us: getting to eat food we don't eat often. Why on earth would we want to work to eliminate leftovers? Especially those of us who are still poor college students.

Team Leftovers 5Ever. Sometimes if I really like a recipe, I'll double the quantity just so I can have a ton of leftovers to fridge or freeze -- then I don't have to think about cooking for at least two-ish more meals, and it's healthier than getting something from a restaurant or a microwave meal.

[apandaaries]

If they have salad and fruit with every dinner, how do they just have salad and tortillas for dinner on Wednesday? So they lose an entree on Wednesdays? Is it special salad day or are their two that day? Do they just put lettuce in the tortillas? They must be having a mini fast on Wednesdays. I would be starving with a maxwell salad and bare tortillas for dinner.

 If they have salads with every dinner then shouldn't they have had some type of lettuce for BBQs? Does anyone really believe that their salads have anything other than lettuce, tomato and maybe a radish to spice things up?

Excuse me, did you say radish?  That vegetable is WAY too spicy for the Maxhell kingdom.

All this stuff about the lettuce is weird, too.  That many salads each week, but they fail to remember lettuce years on end, until they finally change the list?

That has long been one of my favorite ways to clean out the post-Thanksgiving larder, but a couple of years ago, I discovered another great option: making it into a frittata.

You take your stuffing (or dressing--we call ours dressing) and put a bit in the bottom of a pan, with whatever leftover veggies you happen to have (sweet potatoes and broccoli are good options). Then you whip up your eggs and pour them in and grate a little bit of reggiano on top and throw it in the oven until done and....wa-LA!

I'm a vegetarian, and this is closer to my leftover style.  I like to put whatever is most delicious and on-hand in a cast iron pan, top it with an egg, and bake for awhile.  Yum!  

How can the Maxwells be so opposed to leftovers?  Well, I suppose if we can all go on about how much we love them, leftover-love must be some kind of idol.  

[clese]

Totally Soubding like a broken record here but has the road trip post gone? Or is it just me that can't see it?,

[Lillybee]

Do the Maxwells ever use spices in their meals? Their burrito filling consists of pureed onions and jalepeno's and pureed beans but no garlic, chili powder or cumin. Does Steve think that putting some spices in food become an idol? I bet the cheese that they use is store brand velvetta.

[Trynn]

Which Maxboy was it who got "loves to eat leftovers" written About him in a birthday post?

[beancounter]

So they have salad at least once a day and they don't go to the store everyday, so they have to have it on hand pretty much all the time. Are they not allowed to use that lettuce for the BBQ because it was purchased specifically for their usually sad dinners? Is it divided up immediately when they get home from the store and labeled for each day? Is it the wrong type of lettuce? Somehow I doubt they're the type to have fancy spinach salads, but maybe they do, they put it in smoothies. The real question here is why do I care so damn much about someone else's freaking lettuce?!?

[defraudingjezebel]

So they have salad at least once a day and they don't go to the store everyday, so they have to have it on hand pretty much all the time. Are they not allowed to use that lettuce for the BBQ because it was purchased specifically for their usually sad dinners? Is it divided up immediately when they get home from the store and labeled for each day? Is it the wrong type of lettuce? Somehow I doubt they're the type to have fancy spinach salads, but maybe they do, they put it in smoothies. The real question here is why do I care so damn much about someone else's freaking lettuce?!?

I can't remember which Moody book its in, but there's definitely a passage where one of the kids gets into the fridge and wants some lunch meat. The mom warns the kid that its "Dad's special lunch meat" which people here speculated that it meant it was for dad's lunches. So yeah, I think they buy food to use for a specific meal and refuse to eat it outside of the specified meals. 

[WonderingInWA]

What's interesting about the Maxhell menu is that you never see a source of protein like roasted chicken or ground beef -- a couple of staples in our house.  I guess maybe those things (burgers, at least) are for special occasions in Maxhell?  They seem to eat a fair amount of cheese (or cheese-food, per the "wrapper" story with Teri), so maybe that's their main protein most of the time.  I saw a comment on their blog once asking if they were vegetarian, and they responded they are not.  

Another staple in our home is pasta.  It's cheap and easy to feed a large crowd.  No mention of pasta on the Maxhell menu.  

Finally, they may add jalapeno to their bean burritos but no spices simply because I'm not sure they've had "real" Mexican food living in Kansas and all.  I have been told good Mex is hard to find in them there parts.

[sparkles]

What's interesting about the Maxhell menu is that you never see a source of protein like roasted chicken or ground beef -- a couple of staples in our house.  I guess maybe those things (burgers, at least) are for special occasions in Maxhell?  They seem to eat a fair amount of cheese (or cheese-food, per the "wrapper" story with Teri), so maybe that's their main protein most of the time.  I saw a comment on their blog once asking if they were vegetarian, and they responded they are not.  

<snip>

I remember reading a post from Teri where she mentioned that she was allergic to chicken and turkey so they may avoid those as a family. Even so, there's still a wealth of food ideas out there, yet they eat the same boring menu day after day. 

[iweartanktops]

I can't remember which Moody book its in, but there's definitely a passage where one of the kids gets into the fridge and wants some lunch meat. The mom warns the kid that its "Dad's special lunch meat" which people here speculated that it meant it was for dad's lunches. So yeah, I think they buy food to use for a specific meal and refuse to eat it outside of the specified meals. 

As someone recovering from an eating disorder, all of their food rules are extremely triggering! I would be so unhealthy living in that environment! I wonder what each of their relationships with food is like.

Edited to add, personally, I find the entire fundie lifestyle to be a breeding ground for eating disorders. 

[molecule]

Maybe they buy bagged salads so it's easier to measure it into the correct serving sizes so it comes out exactly even. If you buy lettuce and make a salad yourself, someone might end up with an extra couple bites in their bowl and they just can't have that, you know.

[Cats B4 Quivers]

What's the point of a holiday get together if all there is to eat is a hamburger the size of a sliver buried in a lettuce leaf? 

The only part of Christmas I like is the food and the leftover food. 

Their parties sound like a serious drag and I'm glad I'll never get an invite to one. If I did, I'd have to brown bag it or starve while somebody reads aloud from one of those infuriating Moody books.