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mango_fandango

How to plan holiday meals, Teri Maxwell style

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mango_fandango

"Track" the menu, save shopping lists, and write down "after-action" reports detailing how many you fed, how much was left over, and what you didn't have enough of.

The Resurrection Sunday meal was also "originated" by Teri's mom. Weird choice of word.

They also have the same meal every Christmas and every Resurrection Sunday by "popular vote". Again, weird phrasing. 

Through reading this post, I can see where Sarah got her odd writing style from... 

Edited by OnceUponATime
adding tags

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blessalessi

Ooh, haven't read the post yet, but am excited that Teri has used the header photo some of us were looking for!  The one where Joe is grabbety grabbing a bit of thigh, and Elissa is unimpressed... :my_biggrin:

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docmom

FFS half the fun of celebration meals is coming up with new ideas and recipes.  But I guess celebration meals aren't about fun, really.  They're about spread sheets and not buying too much ground beef.

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blessalessi

Back again. Oh the horror!  It was bad enough to know that they only ever have the same family members over for special dinners, but now we know that they eat the same menus time after time.

How sad that new family members have to "enjoy" meals that were voted for years ago by a younger, smaller set of people.

All those helpmeets and SAHDs and they can't remember to buy lettuce unless it is on a master shopping list.  My mind boggles! :SURLEQ:

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socalrules

I don't understand why any of this is so difficult that there needs to be an after dinner report. Most people, including my family, tend to have the same foods for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  It's normal because we look forward to the holiday foods. How often do we make stuffing, bake a turkey or buy a honey baked ham? Hell, some foods are only easily found during the holidays. If you are lucky, someone will bring a new yummy dish to add to old traditions. Many of us, myself included, love leftovers so we have days of eating these hard to get foods and no need to cook. Who can find time to cook when you have to shop the day after Christmas and Thanksgiving?

It's not hard too gage how much food you need, especially for the maxwells who don't have random friends and family stopping by. I wouldn't doubt that they measure out each serving of food. Can't have too many leftovers or Maxwells might snack between meals of burritos and smoothies. 

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molecule

How on earth was three pounds of ground beef enough to feed everyone?

For example, at first, we were buying six pounds of ground beef, and we had so many hamburgers left over that we ate them for quite a while. For this year’s Labor Day, we bought three pounds of ground beef, and we had four hamburgers left over.

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Eternalbluepearl

 

Seriously, they don't need to wonder where they'll go when they die. They're already dead. 

:boom: Exactly. :pb_lol:

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browncoatslytherin
How on earth was three pounds of ground beef enough to feed everyone?

perhaps because they seem to barely eat anything?

i used 3lbs of ground beef when i made meatloaf last month. it made three nicely sized loaves that we ate on for about five meals. between two people.

seriously, the way they treat food, if they were looking in from the outside, they would admonish themselves for making an idol of it. the fact they remain painfully oblivious to this just kills me with the irony.

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ladyamylynn

Our family enjoys the special meal we have for Christmas and also for Resurrection Sunday. That meal was originated by my mom. 

 Ok talk about a couple of sentences that would NOT pass the Turing test... keep trying Teri, you might learn to write like a human someday!

Edited by ladyamylynn

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Palimpsest

How on earth was three pounds of ground beef enough to feed everyone?

Perhaps they filled up on spurting bratwurst?

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Crocoduck

So, she uses recipes and a shopping list for holiday meals? Mind=Blown

:boom:

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johnhugh

Teri wrote:

, and writing down after-action reports

Too much information Teri!1!!!

So Poor Stevie is fasting for eleventy days and Teri shows us yet more passive aggressive behaviour by posting a food blog.

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MissBitters

Having the same food every holiday doesn't bother me. A lot of people like having their family traditions. The "after-action" reports are stupid, though. It sounds like it's just adding more work to holiday planning. There's nothing wrong with leftovers, Terri! Throw some of it in the freezer if you're afraid of everyone getting bored with them.

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Rosie

How on earth was three pounds of ground beef enough to feed everyone?

My two teenage sons, my husband and I polish off two pounds of ground beef in a single meal.  My sons eat most of it, but still.  Sheesh.

Teri wrote:

Too much information Teri!1!!!

So Poor Stevie is fasting for eleventy days and Teri shows us yet more passive aggressive behaviour by posting a food blog.

"After action"?  What action?

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kpmom

Teri wrote:

Too much information Teri!1!!!

So Poor Stevie is fasting for eleventy days and Teri shows us yet more passive aggressive behaviour by posting a food blog.

johnhugh, I was thinking the same thing!  How ironic Teri writes a blog where she talks about food right in the middle of Steve's 10 day fast. Hmmm.

 

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halcionne

She was forgetting lettuce because that's a change from years past. "Also a couple of years ago, some began having their hot dog or hamburger in a lettuce wrap." Now I want to know who's low-carbing over there. It has to be one of the marrieds, right? Because bean burritos are the opposite of low carb...

Also, nobody wanted lettuce on their burger until someone decided to ditch the bun???

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johnhugh

My two teenage sons, my husband and I polish off two pounds of ground beef in a single meal.  My sons eat most of it, but still.  Sheesh.

"After action"?  What action?

back rubs ;-)

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Sobeknofret

We pretty much have the same meal every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas: turkey at Thanksgiving, and prime rib and Yorkshire pudding for Christmas, so I can't fault them for that. What I don't get are the "after reports." I don't ask guests (or family!) exactly what they ate for dinner, and to critique the meal. That strikes me as completely odd and a little bit controlling. I mean, WTF, man? Can't you just have a dinner without the statistical analysis on it?

Our holiday dinners are so relaxed though, many of us are largely tanked by the time dinner rolls around...

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defraudingjezebel

I couldn't help but catch this in the body of Teri's post: 

Every year we have 3 family barbecues – Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day. We like the same menu that has been fine tuned through the years by popular vote: hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, picnic eggs, baked beans, chips, chip dip, soda, and dessert (that is different each year). How many pounds of ground beef should I buy? How many packages of hot dogs and of brats? What about chips?

I thought, "Picnic eggs? What are picnic eggs?" After some preliminary googling, I found out that "picnic eggs" is another term that seems to be used in England and/or its colonies to denote deviled eggs. I find the avoidance of the word "devil" to be so silly. Its a very superstitious way to act about language, like if you dare to speak his name that Satan himself will appear. Good grief!

And yes, Teri's vocabulary and way of writing is so weirdly stilted. My guess is that lack of exposure to anything but the Bible will arrest your linguistic development. 

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desertvixen

The only time I have an "after-action report" on a meal is if I (drum roll) Made Something New and/or Different.

And then it's just notes on the recipe, whatever I did different, and whether or not people liked it.

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Sydney Fox

The only time I have an "after-action report" on a meal is if I (drum roll) Made Something New and/or Different.

And then it's just notes on the recipe, whatever I did different, and whether or not people liked it.

Personally, I just notice that nobody ate the carrots and don't make them again. No need for an "after-action report". 

Life with the Maxwell's is like Groundhog Day: same people, same food, same prayer time. 

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Sundaymorning

The Maxwell's life is so boring that they generally make a huge deal out of the most trivial things. I've also noticed this about the daughters posts, if you read them, you'd think that they have something huge going on, when in fact, they are just doing something like grocery shopping.

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browngrl

The Maxwell family celebrations are so different from mine but we have  even simpler rules for the amount of food that will be needed. Specifically:

When you think you have enough - get more. Consider any open mouth as being in need of a spoonful of food. When people leave insist they go bearing a tremendous amount of food.

 

As my mom, dad, and most of my aunts/uncles/cousins are superb cooks this never presents any problems. We eat like kings for long after each celebration.

Edited by browngrl
forgot an "s"

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Justme

I think the timing of her post is brilliant! She just finished her fast and Stevie's just getting started!

I was shocked to see SODA on her list!

They have quite a few little kids. As they grow, their appetites are going to grow. One day, they will run out of food and send Teri into a tailspin!

I see where Sarah get her writing talent. I can "forgive" Sarah, but Teri is a high school and collage graduate. She has no excuse...

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