Quiver Full of Restaurants

[Season of life...]

I feel we are a little light on appetizers.

May I submit Honeymoon Sardines? Tender tinned sardines, lovingly aged and warmed in a newlyweds' getaway car.

 

[choralcrusader8613]

In honor of Ben and Jessa: Frito pie. Oh, and ice cream sundaes, but only served outside.

[Imrlgoddess]

Y'all forgot the Juice Plus salad with Essential Oil dressing a la Miz Pennington

 

 

[CyborgKin]

There should be Jinger Beer too.

[Dandruff]

"Baby Jesus" menu for the kids.

Lengthy dress codes posted for men, women, and children (by gender).

A nursing room...with a door.

[mango_fandango]

I dunno if we've mentioned this, but maybe the Maxwells can also be musical guests, with their signature piece Trust Een Obey. And the Bateses can do some of the songs they've mentioned like "The Poochie Lip Disease". (They mentioned in an old blog post about how they had Patch the Pirate visit them once, who makes character-building songs). Oh, and the Duggarlings should also regularly bring out their violins.

[rosalitta]

This is all hilarious.

Also some sandwiches should come with cheese paper left on and whoever gets one wins.  The prize is a free Moody book!

 

Edit: The prize is you get to pay for a Moody book! Can't let Steve lose money.

[ari_belle]

The Duggar Diet Plate: one can of fruit cocktail.  It's served straight out of the can, of course, with a plastic fork.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

"Baby Jesus" menu for the kids.

Lengthy dress codes posted for men, women, and children (by gender).

A nursing room...with a door.

The kids menu has to include popcorn and protein bars, of course (Erika Shupe approved meal).

[Kailash]

This entire thread has really tickled my funny bone. I was reading it last night and cracking up. This morning I read about the Baby Jesus menu. I love everything about this "restaurant".

[Gimme a Free RV]

In case groups of young people come in to eat with no parental chaperones:

• The boys will be asked to sit on one side of the table and the girls on the other side.  
• Feet must remain crossed at the ankles and underneath the chairs at ALL times so as not to risk accidental "footsy" play that would arouse sexual desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled.  
• The girls will be given large bibs to wear for a two-fold purpose:  to save their clothes from food stains and to cover mammary outlines that might serve as eye traps for the boys.  
• Girls will not be allowed to use straws, so as not to arouse sinful fantasies in the minds of the boys sitting across from them.  By the same token, girls will also not be served popsicles, lollipops, or ice cream in cones, all of which expose the tongue and thereby cause unrighteous thoughts in the minds of the boys.
• "Ear" traps, including the sounds of licking, slurping, sucking, and chewing are strickly forbidden by girls, because of the boys' proclivity to fall into temptation.
• Young children will be allowed to sit on the girls' side of the table with their sister moms.
• When warranted, boys may ask girls to cut the meat on their plates for them and put second helpings on their plates.
• Girls must allow boys to lead conversations.  Girls must show reasonable interest in conversation topics decided on by boys.
• Girls are not allowed to bend over to pick up anything that has dropped to the floor because of eye-trap danger to the boys.
• Within the parameters of these rules, the young people are encouraged to have a sweet time of fellowship in this special season of life.

[Sobeknofret]

In honor of Ben and Jessa: Frito pie. Oh, and ice cream sundaes, but only served outside.

threadjack: Hey now, Frito pie is actually delicious! It's a time honored tradition in New Mexico to serve Frito pie in a small bag of Fritos with the side cut open so it makes a bowl, and eat it straight from the bag with a fork. The Woolworths on the Plaza in Santa Fe used to be famous for their Frito pies, before they closed. /threadjack

[choralcrusader8613]

threadjack: Hey now, Frito pie is actually delicious! It's a time honored tradition in New Mexico to serve Frito pie in a small bag of Fritos with the side cut open so it makes a bowl, and eat it straight from the bag with a fork. The Woolworths on the Plaza in Santa Fe used to be famous for their Frito pies, before they closed. /threadjack

I like the ingredients individually, but not together. Just not my thing.

[docmom]

In honor of our "crunchy fundies":   placenta pills and specially marinated pot roast.

[Sobeknofret]

I like the ingredients individually, but not together. Just not my thing.

I can understand that. I'll just eat your share of the Frito pie!

[Dandruff]

Kids room with bibles, blankets, and plastic dinosaurs to ride on.

[LogansMama]

The Fabulous David Waller's Pecan Pie

[Marian the Librarian]

Let's not forget to do something in remembrance of our dearly departed Vision Forum. The restaurant's motto could be "Reformed Food For Reformed Families," an homage to DPIAT/R's 2012 Reformation of Food and Families conference. Here's the propaganda that could be on every paper placemat, courtesy of that event's Facebook page (aren't we glad the Internet is forever??):

You do it three times a day, seven days a week and fifty-two weeks a year. If you live to be 85 years of age, you will experience it more than 90,000 times. It is called food, and it was designed by God as the fuel of life. But to describe food merely as fuel falls short of the depth and breadth of the biblical message. Frankly, there are few subjects which are addressed as often in the Bible as food. Hundreds, if not thousands of Scripture verses, incorporate various types of food, directions about food and spiritual lessons in which food is an element.

In food we see the love of Jesus Christ for His Church, the wisdom of God as Creator, the mercy of the Lord on the sons of men, and a vehicle for structuring and organizing the life and dominion labors of mankind. [read more]

Discussion Topics Include:
•Food as Family Culture
•The Theology of Mealtime
•The Politicization of Food
•The Future of Food in America
•The Joy of Culinary Wisdom
•Avoiding Food Heresies
•Food and Frugality
•The Art of Hospitality
•Informed Stewardship of the Body
•And Many More!

 

[Season of life...]

appetizer - 2 goldfish crackers

Dessert - 1 jelly bean

The jelly beans will be randomly selected by the chef--diners will not be allowed to choose their own flavors.

[iweartanktops]

I feel like it should be a buffet, as I'm not sure there's a sufficient number of Job Type People to staff this place. 

[ari_belle]

Speaking of job-type people, can there be a Horse Lung Platter? It comes with a free deodorant sample.

[7thchild]

Don't forget an umbrella stand at every table to hold the umbrellas of protection.

Also add some Naugler sweaty old pancakes in a plastic bag for the kids to take home and enjoy later.

[theinvisiblegirl]

Pecan Gleaner's Delight, a pecan praline ice cream sundae served in the back of John David's police car.

[Dandruff]

Melted ice cream, served in a mini garbage can.

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

Josie's Lick & Stick Pizza

And for special occasions such as birthdays:  Have a corner of the room set up with a mini-bed display (like you see in dept. stores), and no fewer than 4 of the Arndt boys along with Mom in her white short-shorts sing a "special" birthday song and present you with your slice of cake.  (Valid ID required of course).