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Quiver Full of Restaurants


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Hi guys.  Woke up today thinking about opening a Quiver-full restaurant.  Was thinking about fun dishes to serve.  Please comment with your own ideas!

Eggs Benaduggar (Jill and Jessa special)

Meri's Catfish special

Truly (Hash)Browns

Seewald Sampler

Josh's home-grown "family-style" braised short ribs

Blackened Mullet with Blue Cheese (when Jim Bob drinks)

Candied Jinger (Halloween special)

Pickled-Jill Dillard

Also offering ethnic options like:

Israeli hummus

 

 

 

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Tater Tot Casserole has to go in there somewhere. The Duggars make their guests assemble it themselves. That would be a "fun" feature.

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Don't forget the sketti!

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Nicole posted on 10/22/15- 30 days of 30 meals. It has it all- lots of pasta, beans, and potatoes. So the kitchen to this restaurant should be outside and no refrigeration; especially when making potato salad, chicken salad, and tuna pasta salad! (BTW- some of these meals sound very good and easy to make but since it comes from Nicole's kitchen....<walk away> )

30%2Bdays.jpg

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Nicole posted on 10/22/15- 30 days of 30 meals. It has it all- lots of pasta, beans, and potatoes. So the kitchen to this restaurant should be outside and no refrigeration; especially when making potato salad, chicken salad, and tuna pasta salad! (BTW- some of these meals sound very good and easy to make but since it comes from Nicole's kitchen....<walk away> )

30%2Bdays.jpg

Anything prepared in Nicole's kitchen should just be called "Food Poisoning Roulette".

For other fundies: 

The 2 Chicken Breast Family Platter (Kelly Crawford)

Hot Berry Water Tea, Crackers and Limp Cheese (Lady Lydia)

Butter 'n' Cream Mug Cake (Zsu Zsu)

Emily's World Famous Gloodles and Mock Hot Pockets

Bullburgers!! (Boobert- ah Boobert, I still miss snarking on you)

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This makes me so sad.  :my_sad:

It is definitely sad, and they're not the only fundie kids who look like they go hungry. @quiversR4hunting shared the list of meals from Nicole Naugler, but I doubt her kids get to eat a decent dinner every night. I suspect they literally eat stone soup at times :my_cry:

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Doug Phillips' Authentic Puritan New England Boiled Dinner (the waiter MUST be costumed and musically accompanied to the table by cellos)

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It should be customary to tip no more than 5%, or, better yet, with those fake dollar bill tracts.

And of course, kids eat free.

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Moody Family Processed Chili-Cheese Dip

Stevehovah Special (a glass of water)

David Rodrigues Smorgasbord

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The restaurant will have a homey atmosphere.  (The fast-food versions will look like an RV.)

The hostess will greet the diners in modest, non-defrauding attire with a sweet countenance.  The menus will have been made out of recycled manilla file folders that the Duggar children colored and wrote out themselves, cumpleet with mispelingz.

Once at the table, a waitress (because that's a woman's job) will shuffle over in flip flops and ultra modest attire, with long loose hair flowing all over the place.  (A 5% discount is applied when hair is found in the food.)  The waitress gives everyone a styrofoam cup and plastic utensils that the Duggar "littles" rolled up in paper towels right after they came in from playing outside.  Drink choices are water or Kool-aid.  The server sweetly recommends the Kool-aid as her eyes bug out and glaze over.  Once the orders are taken, depending on what day of the week you visit, either the Duggar littles, directed by Joy, or the entire Rodrigues family, shoved on stage by Jill-Rod, will perform songs that will entice you to look for the closest restroom.  The meal comes to the table, served family style:  a Pyrex dish of Tatertot Casserole, a basket of burned biscuits, a jar of dill pickles, a tub of transfatty margarine, a platter of meatloaf slices, a huge bottle of ketchup, a bowl of lettuce leaves torn by Josie's own hands, and "homemade" Ranch dressing from a powdered mix, milk, and mayo.  The meal is all-you-can-fit on your styrofoam plate.

During the meal, the music continues.  Once a week, Erin Bates Paine comes around to bang on the grand pianos, breaking a string or two.  Lawson occasionally makes a guest appearance with his guitar.  At this point, the diner usually passes up dessert, but Jinger's own specialty blend of coffee is served.  The children are treated to sippy cups of chocolate milk.

When the bill arrives at the table (again, drawn and hand-written by the smallest of the Duggar children), the food is itemized and a gratuity of 25% is automatically added in.  At the bottom of the bill, the diner has the following options available to check:

*  I would like to donate to the Dillard Family's mission work

*  I would like to donate to Duggar Family Films

*  I would like to send gift cards to the young Seewald Family

*  I would like to buy Duggar books

*  I would like to buy stock in Duggar Aviation

*  I purpose to write TLC, demanding that "19 Kids and Counting" come back

At the checkout, toothpicks, handcarved and shipped to Arkansas by the Shupe children, are available.  

As the male diner leaves, Jim Bob gives a stiff handshake, tells a lame joke, and thanks the diner for coming to the restaurant.  

As the female diner leaves, Michelle gives a side hug with the hand not holding her iPhone, shrugs her shoulders and looks around for the camera.  In her lispy baby-voice, she thanks the female diner for visiting the restaurant in this "season of life."

Before heading to the car, families can stop and watch their boys swing on the unsafe tire swing, ride in the scoop of a tractor driven by John David, shoot slingshots with James, or for the older boys, grab a rifle for target practice with Joseph. The girls are invited to sit lady-like on a blanket on the grass and watch the boys have fun while they play with each other's hair.

A dining experience for the whole family.

(Collared shirt, shoes, long pants required for male diners.  Long skirts, high-neck sleeved shirts, and flip-flops required for female diners.  Hippies, Catholics, and LGBTQ will not be served but may leave monetary donations at the door, if desired.)

ETA:  If a married female diner gives birth inside the restaurant, that mother receives her dinner free.

Edited by Gimme a Free RV
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Reading this thread in public is very hard- I'm having to try not to laugh aloud at these. 

For women like Erika Shupe and Zsu Zsu Anderson we must have some Trim Healthy Mama friendly meals. 

Also, I don't know if it's the same as sketti, but we have to include Chicken-Etti, or Cheesy Chicken Spaghetti as it's now called on the Duggar blog.

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