After Church Leader is Convicted for Decade of Rape, His Community Blames the Victim

[cbauer357]

Did a quick search, didn't see this anywhere, thought it belonged here, if not please move or remove if not appropriate. Thank you.

Link: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2015/11/04/after-church-leader-is-convicted-for-decade-of-rape-his-community-blames-the-victim/

Text as copied directly from the article as well as its formatting.

If you’ve ever wondered why survivors of sexual assault so rarely report the crimes, look no further than the quaint little town of Dearborn, Missouri. The tight-knit community of 496 people spread across less than a square mile in many ways brings to mind simpler times. Unfortunately, it seems as though that aura has cultivated a mob of simple minds who believe the faithful are incapable of horrendous acts… even when they’ve admitted to it.

As Raw Story explains:

Darren Paden was sentenced to 50 years in prison Friday after pleading guilty in August to two counts of first-degree statutory sodomy — but friends, family members, church elders and community leaders begged a judge to go easy on him.

Prosecutors said the 52-year-old Paden sexually abused the girl up to 300 times over a decade, beginning before she was 5 years old. His 28-year-old son, Anthony Paden, was also charged with sex abuse, although his case remains pending.

But community members have turned their backs on the girl, who is now 18 years old and testified against her abuser in court, and rallied around Paden.

Take a minute to let that sink in. This was an adult who raped a young girl for ten years and admitted to it. Instead of feeling anger towards the abuser, or heartbreak for the young girl, or terror over the fact that something like this had been going on in their town for so long, the community rose to the defense of a monster.

Prior to the sentencing, dozens of letters were sent calling for mercy on him. They referenced the man’s family, his service in the Air National Guard and the local fire department, and his position as a junior deacon at New Market Christian Church. They asked the judge to consider all the good deeds he’d committed over his lifetime. The actually argued that the man had already been punished enough, just by going through the trial. As one woman wrote:

I truly believe that Darren has already suffered extensively for his actions by being kept away from his young children and his home life, and by not being able to provide for this family. Because of the significant difficulties that will face his innocent family, I would ask you, Judge Van Amburg, to grant Darren a sentence of probation or at least the lowest possible sentence.

So mental anguish is apparently on par with a decade of sexual abuse endured by a victim. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. The defenses got more and more twisted the further you read.

Nevermind that Paden already confessed to the crimes, said others. Gene Blankenship, a trustee at Paden’s church, proclaimed:

Only God, Darren and (the victim) know what truly happened. I feel Darren may have admitted to things he did not do after hours of interrogation and all the pressure to admit guilt.

Paden’s 82-year-old aunt Dixie Wilson has shrugged off the flabbergasted public response to the community’s support for a child molestor, saying she’d feel sorry for the girl if she’d actually been abused, but that it wasn’t the case. The whole situation, she claimed, was a test of their faith:

Our community is one that we deeply believe in God and we’re not going to buckle under anything. We’re not going to let it destroy all of us. We’re going to keep doing our good works and doing what we believe and rely on each other.

We’re talking about a young woman who was sexually abused by a church leader for ten years, who resorted to self-harm and wrestled with the idea of suicide. Since coming forward, she’s been denied service and housing and called a liar at every turn. So many sexual assault survivors don’t come forward out of fear that no one will believe them; too many end up facing it with a hefty serving of victim blaming to boot. But this young woman in Dearborn is living the survivor’s nightmare in extreme fashion, being ostracized by her community for having the courage to report her abuser.

Perhaps in this close Christian community, such a reaction should not surprise us. We’re talking about a faith whose foundational texts diminish the significance of rape or attempt to justify it. We’re talking about believers who can justify that Christian husbands who want to force sex with unwilling wives can still do so as long as they don’t look at their faces. We’re living in a world where people continue to support denominations that actively worked to cover up sexual abuse of children for decades.

So much for Christian love.

[Ennui]

I hate to say this (and I am not condoning it) but the church that I was raised in would most likely have handled the situation the same way. That's just horrible.

[HearMeRoar]

That is sick, twisted and disgusting. I hope that this young lady moves far, far away from this terrible community, and is able to find happiness and peace in her life.

[doggie]

we see this over and over and over. the duggers did it. we wonder why men keep raping well hell look no farther then the church sometimes.  I wonder what god thinks of his people who allow and keep rape going? maybe he should have married the girl. 

[Exposedknees]

I pride myself on being very chill and "live and let live" and although I am not religious, I try to be unprejudiced on people's beliefs.

Then I read something like this and get very angry. I want this minister imprisoned forever and hope all of the things this man and his son did to this child happen to them tenfold. I hope that she can disconnect from this toxic town, get help and live a great life as revenge,

 

 

[MyMilkshake]

This shit pisses me off so bad! I hope the girl gets away from them and finds support. 

My old church would've done the same as those assholes. After I left my church after how they rallied around a pedophile within the flock, I was visited by several church members trying to explain how "We are all sinners," and how my turning away from the church was just as harmful. Then one of the church leaders approached me in town and said "According to the bible, you are to approach someone three times if they turn away from the church, and after that you must wash your hands of that person".  I was in my 20s at the time and left there standing speechless. I never returned to that church.  I was ignored and shunned by them forever, and the pedophile's  victims had to choose to either keep going to church and forgive, or be shunned. The ones who quit the church were never spoken to, or of again either. 

[cbauer357]

There has been several discussions of someone starting a gofundme for this girl and several offers to take her in to get away from these nutjobs. Can you imagine what level his wife and the "young" children have been brainwashed to if they are still supporting these two scuzzballs? That poor girl, I hope she finds/seeks out the help she needs.

[Beb]

Maybe my question was answered somewhere....was this his child or another family member?  

What a horrible thing for this poor child to endure. 

[apandaaries]

I saw this and thought about posting here, but couldn't stomach writing out the details.  How incredible that in 2015 we can have this reaction to the survivor of repeated sexual assault.  He admitted it in court, under oath, and still members of the community say things like, "Well, I feel sorry for her if it did happen..." Is it that people are afraid to talk about sexual assault when it involves someone they really know?  It's easy to condemn when it's the stranger in the dark alley who attacks, but when it's someone everyone knows (which is statistically far more likely), the reaction is completely different. 

It reminds me of Sandusky.  He arranged it so he could have access to and extended contact with young children to groom and abuse.  People had hints that something was amiss, but it was much easier to look away and ignore it all.  He had a basement in his home where he abused children, and his wife continues to defend him.  

The power of denial can be very strong.

[AmazonGrace]

“Darren is one of the most admirable people I know,” wrote friend Adele Brightwell. “He holds fast to his morals.”

Eh, I don't want to know the people she knows if Darren is the best of the bunch.

 

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/11/missouri-townspeople-shun-sex-abuse-victim-as-a-liar-even-after-good-man-admits-to-raping-her/

 

“I called a lady about a house she was renting, and I told her my name, and she said, ‘What’s your name again?’ and I told her and she said, ‘I don’t want to rent to you,’ and then hung up on me,” the victim told the Star.

She spoke directly at Paden’s sentencing to some of those community members who made her feel “unwanted.”

“I was genuinely terrified to go into our new café in town because I was scared someone was going to yell at me or refuse to serve me,” the victim said. “I was even scared they would tamper with my food. I feel so unwelcomed in a town that I have grown up in. I feel like an outsider that just strolled in and everybody is giving their own analysis on, and making up gossip that people believe instead of just coming up and talking to me.”

“Try dealing with that on top of being called a liar every day,” she added.

They call themselves Christians.

 “I truly believe that Darren has already suffered extensively for his actions by being kept away from his young children and his home life, and by not being able to provide for this family,” wrote supporter Darla Hall Emmendorfer. “Because of the significant difficulties that will face his innocent family, I would ask you, Judge Van Amburg, to grant Darren a sentence of probation or at least the lowest possible sentence.”

 Are you sure that his young children would benefit from having this child molester in their midst?

 “Our community is one that we deeply believe in God and we’re not going to buckle under anything,” said 82-year-old Dixie Wilson. “We’re not going to let it destroy all of us. We’re going to keep doing our good works and doing what we believe and rely on each other.”

 Yes, good works, trampling all over a sexual abuse victim...

What the hell has their belief in God have to do with whether this girl was raped or not.

[pamplemousse]

These assholes give Christianity a bad name.  There are no words.

I hope this girl gets far away from them and finds happiness.  If she chooses to remain a Christian, I'd like to see her find a REAL Christian church with people who actually would welcome her and reassure her that she did nothing wrong.

[Grimalkin]

I saw this and thought about posting here, but couldn't stomach writing out the details.  How incredible that in 2015 we can have this reaction to the survivor of repeated sexual assault.  He admitted it in court, under oath, and still members of the community say things like, "Well, I feel sorry for her if it did happen..." Is it that people are afraid to talk about sexual assault when it involves someone they really know?  It's easy to condemn when it's the stranger in the dark alley who attacks, but when it's someone everyone knows (which is statistically far more likely), the reaction is completely different. 

It reminds me of Sandusky.  He arranged it so he could have access to and extended contact with young children to groom and abuse.  People had hints that something was amiss, but it was much easier to look away and ignore it all.  He had a basement in his home where he abused children, and his wife continues to defend him.  

The power of denial can be very strong.

In the article I read, he admitted it during the interrogation, then denied it publicly. People were saying things like it was forced out of him.

If he admitted it in court then its even worse. I think part of the denial is not wanting to comprehend that somebody so well liked and trusted could be a monster. I wonder if there are any other victims. Its not likely they would come forward . I hope those people get consequences and feel shame because of the article written about them. 

[apandaaries]

In the article I read, he admitted it during the interrogation, then denied it publicly. People were saying things like it was forced out of him.

If he admitted it in court then its even worse. I think part of the denial is not wanting to comprehend that somebody so well liked and trusted could be a monster. I wonder if there are any other victims. Its not likely they would come forward . I hope those people get consequences and feel shame because of the article written about them. 

In the rawstory article, he pleaded guilty to two counts of statutory sodomy.  I'll try to quote.

 

 

Darren Paden was sentenced to 50 years in prison Friday after pleading guilty in August to two counts of first-degree statutory sodomy — but friends, family members, church elders and community leaders begged a judge to go easy on him.

Prosecutors said the 52-year-old Paden sexually abused the girl up to 300 times over a decade, beginning before she was 5 years old. His 28-year-old son, Anthony Paden, was also charged with sex abuse, although his case remains pending.

(Hey! Check out my quote!)

I'm not a betting woman, but $5 says there are many other victims. $50 says they are watching their community and creeping further into the shadows.  

[cbauer357]

Maybe my question wasE answered somewhere....was this his child or another family member?  

What a horrible thing for this poor child to endure. 

Exactly my point. Where were her parents/family? I cannot even fathom how this can happen at any age. I guess this is brainwashing at its best. Feeling disgusted, just imagine how many children are going through this and can't/won't speak up....

[sawasdee]

Have we heard anything about this child's family? I assume they were part of this worship group, or the 'pastor' would not have had access. Where are they now? Are they rejecting her also? I am not a Xtian, but this kind of behaviour reconvinces me that organised religion is the antithesis of Christ's teachings. I hope the gofundme or other avenues help give this girl a new start, and that she is able to discard her beginnings in this apology for a faith. My very best thoughts are with her.

[FloraKitty35]

I read this story the other day.  I wish her the best.  

[Grimalkin]

There was recently a big news story not too far from where I grew up. A police officer who ran the youth explorer program was shot and killed in the line of duty. There was a massive manhunt, and several extensive fundraisers for his family, police officers from all over the country attended his funeral. The whole community came together in support of this man, people put ribbons on their lawns to show support for his family, FB profile pictures wer changed to a blue and black image as another show of support.  The news broke this week that his shooting was an elaborate suicide he staged to look like  he was shot in the line of duty. This officer had embezzled money from the youth explorer program and was under investigation, his wife and oldest son were involved and all sorts of lurid and ugly things keep coming to light. The reason I mention this is because so many people are in denial about this police officer. The investigation went on two months and involved FBI and homeland security, and other agencies. There have been a lot of exchanges on FB about this and some thoughtful responses about how people cannot admit they were so duped by such a monster. He apparently was  well liked. It is not my community and I don't know of any of the people involved, but I could see not being able to wrap my head around news like that if somebody I knew and liked and trusted had done that. It does not make it okay, and as people have time to let it sink in they are accepting it. 

        I hope there is peace and acceptance for this poor young lady, and people in the town can come to accept there was a monster in their midst. On a much smaller level, all the people that trusted and admired him are victims in a way too. It must be awful to have a role model turn out to be such a monster. I suppose his family will back him up no matter what. Its time those towns people step up and do the right thing.

[AmazonGrace]

 

http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article41940072.html

 

Onlookers packed the courtroom. Paden’s father, Jim Paden, wiped away tears with a handkerchief at the sight of his son in handcuffs and clad in an orange jail garb.

“I’m begging for your mercy,” Jim Paden pleaded with the judge prior to sentencing. “I would like to hold and hug him before I die.”

 

Since September, about 16 letters have been filed with the court by Paden’s relatives, church members and friends of Darren Paden’s parents, who are held in high regard in the community. Jim Paden, and his wife, Esther, have a farm in the community.

All the letters asked the judge to show leniency.

“I did that (wrote a letter) in support of his family because they are pretty devastated over this whole thing,” said Sheila Goodlet, an aunt to Darren Paden and sister to Jim Paden. “I just wanted there to be some hope in a hopeless situation.… I also want the judge to be aware that Darren has had a lot of good, positive things in his life, too.”

Nearly every letter talked about Paden’s work with the Air National Guard and fire department.

“He went overseas during the Gulf War and served in mobile hospitals to help wounded soldiers,” wrote his uncle, Stephen Goodlet.

Paden’s great-aunt, Dixie Wilson, talked of her great-nephew’s service as a junior deacon at the local New Market Christian Church. “I could go on and on,” she wrote, “but would just be repeating that he is a good man!”

 It's a bit like Bill Cosby... Donate a lot of money to charity and talk about personal responsibility and some people will never believe you're a serial rapist.

Have we heard anything about this child's family? I assume they were part of this worship group, or the 'pastor' would not have had access. Where are they now? Are they rejecting her also? I am not a Xtian, but this kind of behaviour reconvinces me that organised religion is the antithesis of Christ's teachings. I hope the gofundme or other avenues help give this girl a new start, and that she is able to discard her beginnings in this apology for a faith. My very best thoughts are with her.

In the kansascity link:

 

Her mother believes her, the victim said.

[2xx1xy1JD]

If I were the judge, I'd mention in my reasons for sentencing that the tone of the letters of support had me highly worried.  The defense allowed those letters to be submitted, even though some questioned his guilt, and this would make me believe that he was still refusing to fully admit his guilt and take responsibility for it.  Since so many people were supporting him, it stands to reason that he continues to be trusted despite the fact that he is guilty, and he therefore continues to pose a serious risk to other children.

 

[Jingerbread]

Churches need to be taxed so that they're bearing some of the financial burden of trying and locking up the rapists they cultivate and support.

[Walking Cat Bed]

This waste of human DNA is repugnant.

 

The victim (who was under the age of five when this began -- a baby) deserves a fresh start somewhere she actually CAN start over. She and her mom have every right to leave that place in the dust. 

[roddma]

I too hope they get the funds to leave that wretched place. I usually don't care for GFM, but I make an exception in these cases.i I wonder what would be the reaction if she was a male and the offender was a woman?

[doggie]

glad to see her mom does not blame her that happens often too and that would be much worse. 

[Toothfairy]

Sadly I know churches that covers shit like this up. Sad

I too hope they get the funds to leave that wretched place. I usually don't care for GFM, but I make an exception in these cases.i I wonder what would be the reaction if she was a male and the offender was a woman?

he wanted It. Males can't get raped by a woman.  Don't you read the comments about teachers having see with their male students.  It's a guys dream

[Grimalkin]

I too hope they get the funds to leave that wretched place. I usually don't care for GFM, but I make an exception in these cases.i I wonder what would be the reaction if she was a male and the offender was a woman?

I wish she could sell her story and it becomes a book or even a made for tv movie exposing these townspeople, and making them look creepy and awful. That way she could get the heck out of there and expose those people at the same time.

 

I was wondering if there were any follow up, or other sources covering this.