Bin Seewald

[nst]

On November 28, 2015 at 4:58 AM, lascuba said:

I don't at all think Jessa was forced or cajoled to court Ben...I think it says a lot about the type of boys pursuing the Duggar girls that Ben seemed like an attractive option.

I think Jessa thought she knew what she was doing, and it looks like they're still in the honeymoon phase so it all still seems great to her. Ben comes across as a domineering asshole to me (him tagging along with her on her speeches and singing pictures of Jessa for her fans is so telling), and the only reason he might be kissing the ground Jessa walks on for the moment is because she has yet to challenge him on anything, because she's still the perfect wife he wanted. If/when that changes, I see things getting really ugly. 

Actually something she said last night in the episode about why she has Ben come with her on stage. She gets nervous every time and its either her sisters or Ben who would come with her. So that to me means a) she can't or won't be alone or b)he is interchangeable. 

I don't have siblings so question

do you all miss your siblings or talk about them to that degree as they do even after marriage..because wouldn't that hurt your spouse.

jessa is the type to plan things out regardless of what she says -she wanted to meet Ben and get get married.

i think Ben just wants to look good and jessa makes him not only look good but looks up to him to a certain degree

and in the latest video of her discussing motherhood she calls her son by his given name.

so there you go

[EmmieJ]

2 hours ago, nst said:

Actually something she said last night in the episode about why she has Ben come with her on stage. She gets nervous every time and its either her sisters or Ben who would come with her. So that to me means a) she can't or won't be alone or b)he is interchangeable. 

I don't have siblings so question - do you all miss your siblings or talk about them to that degree as they do even after marriage..because wouldn't that hurt your spouse.

It's not inconceivable that Jessa (or any of the offspring) would feel uncomfortable being alone on a stage in front of a large group of people.  After all, in their entire lives, they have never been allowed to be alone, except perhaps for five minutes in the bathroom or ten minutes to take a shower. 

As to siblings - I had 7 siblings growing up, and 3 that I was both close in age to and close emotionally to.  Two sisters and I shared a bedroom until I started junior high.  We had the usual fights as kids but we were also close.  I talk to my sisters probably on average once a week.  When we get together, it's like no time has passed.  So we are close, but not to the point that it would interfere in any of our other relationships.

[missegeno]

2 hours ago, nst said:

Actually something she said last night in the episode about why she has Ben come with her on stage. She gets nervous every time and its either her sisters or Ben who would come with her. So that to me means a) she can't or won't be alone or b)he is interchangeable. 

 

I think it's both. It's hard to be alone when you never have been before. And life in the Duggar house means that you are interchangeable a lot of the time. Especially before the courtships all started, there was no consideration given to individuality, unless they are talking proudly of their jurisdictions. Remember the sea of red shirts on moving day (moving into TTH, I think? or maybe the rental before it)? The matching frumpers? Those may have been left in the past, but dictating entire lives based on jinder rather than personality remains alive and well in their world. Jessa has always been interchangeable (with the exception of packing for trips), so it makes sense to me if she just doesn't even realize that Ben could be not-interchangeable.

[MatthewDuggar]

They really are in a perfect position to rake in the bucks.  I am sure there are tons of media outlets looking for interviews, etc.   Either they are too stupid or too heavily controlled by JB or TLC restrictions.  

BoringBin may be living it up now, but he better be planning for the future, gifting and posing won't last forever.

[thebestusername]

On 11/4/2015 at 7:55 PM, SassyPants said:

Jessa said that Ben was taking time off to prepare for the baby and stay home for a bit once the baby is born.

Wait he's a... Stay at home dad. IS NO ONE NOTICING THAT HE IS BEING A STAY A HOME DAD. If Jessa works and he doesn't then we're going to have some feminist demons to purge from his soul

[HWest]

Ben doesn't want to get a job because he believes the Duggars will be back on TV earning their living as reality TV personalities. If he gets a job and the series is picked up again he will have to quit the job and the family will get bad publicity. Of course the return to TV as before is just in the Duggar family imagination at this point. I'm sure they are all waiting on the response to the specials and to see if they will need to shoot more episodes.  I am sure this is also why Derrick left his job. You really can't be seriously employed and work on a series at the same time. Too much time off, travel etc to hold down both gigs.

[nst]

In one of his latest videos where he is holding spud he says he goes to work and comes home and looks at spud so apparently he is working again

[SassyPants]

Bwahhh- work. Work is for suckers.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Bin is not a job type person

[Lewy]

On 11/28/2015 at 0:44 AM, Pretzel said:

FWIW, Jessa could have put a stop to it by saying she didn't want to pursue any contact. As creepy as JB is, I don't think he'd push a guy on his daughter if she wasn't interested. 

I'm pretty sure Jessa knew what she was doing. She's a very strong-willed and opinionated young woman (on top of being vain and smug), whose soul would die a slow death from having to stick with some dominant asshole like Peter Bradrick et al. I think Bin kisses the ground Jessa walks on and she knows it. More power to her if it means one less fundie girl in an abusive marriage with an asshole. 

I've said right from the start that Jessa wears the pants in that relationship. No way does she accept Bin as her 'authority'. She says 'jump' and Bin says 'yes sweetheart, how high?' and that's exactly how she wanted it. 

[Drala]

3 hours ago, Lewy said:

I've said right from the start that Jessa wears the pants in that relationship. No way does she accept Bin as her 'authority'. She says 'jump' and Bin says 'yes sweetheart, how high?' and that's exactly how she wanted it. 

I don't know about that...how do you explain naming her child Spurgeon?  It seems to me that gem was Ben asserting himself.  FWIW, Ben could be extremely controlling in a passive-aggressive way.  

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Drala said:

I don't know about that...how do you explain naming her child Spurgeon?  It seems to me that gem was Ben asserting himself.  FWIW, Ben could be extremely controlling in a passive-aggressive way.  

Though Jessa also strikes me as fairly passive-aggressive. They're going to become that couple that leaves each other snippy Post-It notes about things around the house that piss them off.

[nst]

48 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Though Jessa also strikes me as fairly passive-aggressive. They're going to become that couple that leaves each other snippy Post-It notes about things around the house that piss them off.

Now we need examples and my brain hurts from swimming

how about 

benji 

turn the damn light off when you leave and buy me tampons 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Though Jessa also strikes me as fairly passive-aggressive. They're going to become that couple that leaves each other snippy Post-It notes about things around the house that piss them off.

Yeah, both of them strike as being PA.  I can totally see post-its all over the house.

And naming the child was totally Ben's idea.  Jessa would have no idea of who her kid's namesake was.  

[quiversR4hunting]

On ‎12‎/‎21‎/‎2015 at 11:47 AM, nst said:

I don't have siblings so question

do you all miss your siblings or talk about them to that degree as they do even after marriage..because wouldn't that hurt your spouse.

A day late in answering but I have an older sister (only 2 years older) and a twin brother. My sister and I shared a room until I was in 7th grade and then we got basement rooms and she had to walk through my bedroom to get to her bedroom.

With both siblings there was fighting and fun. At around the age of 10 my siblings and I made a pack not to rat each other out but we wouldn't lie for them either. Basically we had to own up to mistakes. I have been told we were pretty young to make that pack but we did and we stuck to it.

When my sister went off to college, I didn't really miss her. We are sisters, we were never best friends and we still aren't. We like to hang together, we get along fine but we are opposites in many ways. If we were in the same class and strangers her and I would be acquaintances not BFFs. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister we just aren't and probably never will be BFFs. I was the youngest (technically younger than my twin) and I did almost everything first- first date, period, dance with boy, crushes, etc, etc. I am the only one that had a long term boyfriend in HS. My sister and brother went on a couple dates and had dates to the big dances but never dated anyone in HS. I am betting I am the only one that has thought of moving back to our school district.

Now my twin. Again, very different personality. We were in every class together K-6 grade and then again in 9th grade and most classes our senior year. We are both smart so we ended up in most of the smart classes together. He is smarter than me and way more sarcastic. He was also very little until he grew when he was 17/18 and then in college. So he was always a bit awkward and small and not quite coordinated enough for team sports. He did pretty good running. Because we were in the same grade and our class size was between 100 and 150, our friends intersected but again, not BFFs.

So to answer your question, no I have never missed my siblings as much as the Duggars seem to and my siblings lives are not enmeshed with each other. We do hang out and do a lot of things together but not dependent on each other.

And as for going on stage without a buddy, oh yeah, do that all the time. (Seriously, I conducted trainings and workshops in my line of work) I think Jessa doesn't want to go on stage alone because she doesn't know how to be alone. She has been taught to be afraid if she is alone.

[herpderp]

For what it's worth, my sister is an amateur handwriting analyst (I know, I know, it's a pseudoscience that you can't take seriously), and looking at their autographs she said Ben was bossy and Jessa was browbeaten. This was before she knew anything about them. 

[nastyhobbitses]

On 12/22/2015 at 0:02 PM, nst said:

Now we need examples and my brain hurts from swimming

how about 

benji 

turn the damn light off when you leave and buy me tampons 

Don't fundie girls not wear tampons because they're just steps away from dildoes or something?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 12/21/2015 at 10:47 AM, nst said:

Actually something she said last night in the episode about why she has Ben come with her on stage. She gets nervous every time and its either her sisters or Ben who would come with her. So that to me means a) she can't or won't be alone or b)he is interchangeable. 

I don't have siblings so question

do you all miss your siblings or talk about them to that degree as they do even after marriage..because wouldn't that hurt your spouse.

jessa is the type to plan things out regardless of what she says -she wanted to meet Ben and get get married.

i think Ben just wants to look good and jessa makes him not only look good but looks up to him to a certain degreein

and in the latest video of her discussing motherhood she calls her son by his given name.

so there you go

I have siblings, my sister and I are fairly close and talk frequently, she lives about 40 minutes north of me not too far but far enough that seeing her daily isn't feasible or wanted, by either of us honestly.  But we both have other friends and are at different points in our lives.  I'm 4 years older than her, but I got married at 26 and she got married at 35.  I had both my kids in my late 20 's her's her late 30's my kids are in high school, her's are in preschool.  My son will graduate in May her son will start Kindergarten in August.  The Duggars only have each other really as friends.  At the very least the oldest 7 or 8 kids did, the younger ones (from Joy down) seem to have a few more "outside but still ATI approved" friends.  Also none of the kids are allowed out with out another sibling or two with them.  They aren't used to being alone, ever.  They don't know what privacy is or what quiet time is.  I can see why Jessa would be nervous going anywhere alone, she's never been allowed to.  

[calimojo]

I don't think Jessa or Ben are smart enough to be passive aggressive.  That takes some intelligence because the point is that your communication initially looks pleasant, collaborative or cooperative, and then it has a backend sting.  A truly skilled Passive Aggressive person can zing you without your knowledge and it isn't  until later that you realize you were really insulted or blamed, etc.  Besides, Jessa always seems pretty blunt, which is why I think her TV appearances are so awkward because she is trying to soften her natural tendency to be blunt. 

 

As far as who rules the roost,  too soon to tell.  I imagine on things regarding day to day life,  Jessa is more in charge.  She is known for her organizational skills, and probably plans their day, organizes running the home and so on.  But on the big things,  I could see her deferring to Ben.  In a recent Inquisitor article I read it quoted Michelle as saying that wives must consult with their husbands before changing their hairstyle.  This is how Jessa was raised.  They are taught that even if your husband is making a mistake, that you don't challenge them, and instead you just  pray that they will be shown the light. 

 

Now, do I think Jessa Consults with Ben about how she wears her hair?  Probably not as far as whether she wears it in a pony tail, but I bet she got his ok before she got her new bangs cut. 

 

If Ben wants TV to be his career, the kid needs to work with someone on his diction and his overall appearance on screen.  He comes off so dumb.  He probably is smarter than he acts, as we know he actually graduated from Junior College and got good grades, but he needs some coaching on how to present himself on TV.  He comes off as an idiot, plain and simple.  Jessa definitely seems sharper than he is, but the bar is set so low, that isn't saying much. 

 

Derick isn't much better, and he has a college degree.  Though as an accounting major, he might not have had much education on public speaking, etc.  As much as I value education,  in reality,  a lot of people who  couldn't find their own way out of a paper bag, can still manage to get through college.  And I work with many people with advanced degrees, in a science related field (health care) who still actually believe in Creationism and think Donald Trump is "da bomb".  So book smarts doesn't always amount to a hill of beans when it comes to insight, critical thinking and common sense.