Bin Seewald

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I am facinated by the lack of shame on both their parts. Show a knee and give deep apologies. Be two unemployed people living off daddy, with a baby on the way, while spending the day taking selfies, and they think they are living model lives for all the heathens to follow. I would be embarrassed to be in their shoes but I come from a family that wouldn't get off our backs until we got it together. I would have been embarrassed from day one. I can't even imagine being 22 and telling my family I am going to marry an unemployed 19 year old and our goal is to have as many children and the Lord will allow without actually having a job. They actually think this is normal. What do they do all day other than take selfies? The non-stop honeymoon sex likely wore off months ago.

Most people don't take time off because their wife is having a baby. Most can't do it. He was going to school, not working a 9 to 5. He could have put all his classes on two days. They just need to admit that their is no need for a job or school as long has TLC or Jim Bob pays the bills. I wonder if they even understand th concept of self-sufficient. 

I would think they would have to be insanely bored. No tv, limited controlled internet, no job, no school, no movies.  It isn't a wonder that they are nuts, they've gone round the bend. 

I don't think JB knows what self-sufficient, he's had TLC taking care of him for the better part of 10 years, and before that they were living off a local church and HIS father. I imagine they don't know any better because that is all they know.  The only person they know that got away and got a real job was Josh, and look what happened to him. 

[silverspoons]

When I first moved to Utah my husband and I were in graduate school. We were moving cross country so we took a 6 month contract in married student housing to make the move easier. We pulled up in the parking lot and carried our wedding presents (Royal Daulton and crystal) to the 3 bedroom apartment. We were starred at by the many kids and women of the complex. I found out later  many people were jealous we could afford a 3 bedroom and we had no kids (it was around $400 for a 3 bedroom including everything, phone, cable, internet. power, it was a steal to me). Most 3 bedroom apartments had 4 or more kids. There were over 1000 married student units in our area and only a handful didn't have kids. The other shocker was many of the wives didn't work or did part time child care.

I could tell countless stories of both spouses with multiple kids under 5 in hard fields of study, completing college. Ben and Jessa having some savings , Ben already having an A.A degree and only 1 kid would be better off then 99% of the LDS couples I lived around. Most of the couples then and now see the time they spent at the married student housing as a positive beginning to their lives. It made most of the couples appreciate getting that first house so much more. I'll admit then 100's a kids playing outside was not for childless me at the time. I had my first kid years later but I actually went back there to find quality childcare when I had my son. There were plenty of women who had finished their degree before their husband (due to the old mission age difference) and had a year to wait and watched kids to stay at home with their own kids.

People ask what religion are the Duggar's. I know they are technically Baptist but pick and choose and certainly don't choose Baptist colleges for their kids. I don't care for their belief system but it sure would be good for Jessa if their was an approved college for Ben with married housing so she could be with other moms and develop friendships and Ben could get an education.

 

[MichellesCrunchyHair]

This is the best thing I've read all day (& you are 234723987234897489% correct, too; Petunia was a nasty woman). Thanks for making me laugh, HarryPotterFan!   

Anyone w/meme-making capabilities would have a field day w/this. Muahahahahaha.

[JoyfullyUnavailable]

The non-stop honeymoon sex likely wore off months ago.

 

Bin is a 20 year old sexually repressed man, I'm sure he is still expecting Jessa to be joyfully available all day long ... Not that I want to think about it.

 

[ksgranola1]

I can't really see Ben acting as "headship." If he told Jessa to do something, I think she'd tell him where to stick it.

I married into an Italian family. My FIL, lived to 95; was "headship " to the entire family. It didn't matter who you were married to.

[nastyhobbitses]

When I first moved to Utah my husband and I were in graduate school. We were moving cross country so we took a 6 month contract in married student housing to make the move easier. We pulled up in the parking lot and carried our wedding presents (Royal Daulton and crystal) to the 3 bedroom apartment. We were starred at by the many kids and women of the complex. I found out later  many people were jealous we could afford a 3 bedroom and we had no kids (it was around $400 for a 3 bedroom including everything, phone, cable, internet. power, it was a steal to me). Most 3 bedroom apartments had 4 or more kids. There were over 1000 married student units in our area and only a handful didn't have kids. The other shocker was many of the wives didn't work or did part time child care.

I could tell countless stories of both spouses with multiple kids under 5 in hard fields of study, completing college. Ben and Jessa having some savings , Ben already having an A.A degree and only 1 kid would be better off then 99% of the LDS couples I lived around. Most of the couples then and now see the time they spent at the married student housing as a positive beginning to their lives. It made most of the couples appreciate getting that first house so much more. I'll admit then 100's a kids playing outside was not for childless me at the time. I had my first kid years later but I actually went back there to find quality childcare when I had my son. There were plenty of women who had finished their degree before their husband (due to the old mission age difference) and had a year to wait and watched kids to stay at home with their own kids.

People ask what religion are the Duggar's. I know they are technically Baptist but pick and choose and certainly don't choose Baptist colleges for their kids. I don't care for their belief system but it sure would be good for Jessa if their was an approved college for Ben with married housing so she could be with other moms and develop friendships and Ben could get an education.

 

If you don't mind giving up a teensy bit of anonymity, what is this magical place with $400/month all-inclusive rent? I'm looking at jobs in NYC, DC, London, Taipei, and Shanghai, and the sticker shock for apartments is making me consider finding a job in Utah where I could live like a queen in comparison.

[nst]

If you don't mind giving up a teensy bit of anonymity, what is this magical place with $400/month all-inclusive rent? I'm looking at jobs in NYC, DC, London, Taipei, and Shanghai, and the sticker shock for apartments is making me consider finding a job in Utah where I could live like a queen in comparison.

it sure ain't here  

i would love to know too - Italy perhaps - because I want to spend six months there one day 

[nastyhobbitses]

it sure ain't here  

i would love to know too - Italy perhaps - because I want to spend six months there one day 

Where in Italy? I'd assume Rome and Milan are scary expensive (Milan more so because it's a financial center), but other places may be a bit more affordable.

[missegeno]

If you don't mind giving up a teensy bit of anonymity, what is this magical place with $400/month all-inclusive rent? I'm looking at jobs in NYC, DC, London, Taipei, and Shanghai, and the sticker shock for apartments is making me consider finding a job in Utah where I could live like a queen in comparison.

Well, since the cities you mention are some of the most expensive cities in the world, most of middle America is going to look very affordable in comparison. I'm not sure it matters what part of Utah since the cost of housing even in nice areas like Park City isn't going to rival that of a nice place in London. And Park City is GORGEOUS!

Now if only we can get more jobs in my field there...

[Guest]

I will never understand the logic of taking that much time off from school because his wife is pregnant. I went to classes until I was 38 weeks pregnant, had my son, started online classes two weeks after he was born, and have continued on with it and have since had another child. I never took a break. I suppose I don't have the option of living off of TLC money though. /eyeroll

[ksgranola1]

Naples is a good deal if you want to live in Italy. It's a bit of a pit, and there's that volcano staring at you, but as Italian cities go, not bad. Pompeii has lots of rooms to rent. 

[silverspoons]

If you don't mind giving up a teensy bit of anonymity, what is this magical place with $400/month all-inclusive rent? I'm looking at jobs in NYC, DC, London, Taipei, and Shanghai, and the sticker shock for apartments is making me consider finding a job in Utah where I could live like a queen in comparison.

This was married student housing for students at the U of U. It is now a 600ish (I lived there years ago). You have to be married and one of the spouses has to be a full time student. I moved to Utah from NY and it is something I regret. While my husband makes very good money (mostly because he works on sunday and nights if needed), I do not like where my kids are being raised and the lack of diversity,  and in general things to do. If you can buy a house  and live in an area with a electricity co-op like me, it is cheap to live in comparison to other areas. I have a 6 bedroom 3200+ sq ft home and my taxes are under 1k a year, my  utilities in the summer when it is over 100 are never over $100, and mortgages would be $1000 for a home my size. My city has over 100k people and there is almost nothing to do. Sure there are places to hike and camp but not everyone is an outdoor type. The is one bar at the bowling ally and 2 places to buy alcohol and one small book store. There are only chain resturants, and the movies for date nights. We have a decent amount of disposable income and every weekend we sit here as a family thinking what can we do? there is no roller skating, ice skating, arcades, museums, art stores, dancing or yearly carnivals or festivals. Summers are long and hot and there are virtually no summer camps for kids and no water parks and few public pools. Kids and adults spend much of the summer inside. Medical care especially specialists are hard to come by at all unless you live in SLC and even then there are  long waiting lists. Good example is my son has very mild asthma triggered by allergies. He carries an inhaler and the school requires a new note yearly for this. There is only one doctor in the state who flies around seeing kids for this. I need the note by the end of the year so I will be driving over 700 miles during Christmas break to get the note during a 15 minute check up. Sorry to rant but I have seen other like me get trapped here and regret it. It is very hard in 2015 to leave a great paying job and cheap living to move to a place because life is boring and your kids have less opportunity for culture and diversity and less friends. I'm leaving after the next school year when my son graduates. One positive is I was told when my son is applying to his dream college in MA as a top student from a school in Utah with many national awards(since not many people here participate in Science Olympiad , Math counts, History fair etc so it was easier to get to nationals) it would be easier to get in then if we moved during his jr year back to NY. The college that he is looking at said they have never gotten an application from anyone in our area ever(last year only 2 students out of over 3000 grads went to schools in the East) and they like having a student body that represents all areas of the country.

[EmmieJ]

@JoyfullyUnavailable I agree! At 20 I wanted everything to be easy as well! That's why I didn't have a child to support while refusing to work hard! 

I don't know if I consciously thought that I wanted my life to be easy, but I definitely enjoyed having fun and being able to go where I wanted, do what I wanted, without having to take a spouse's or a child's needs and wants into consideration.  Still, even as a single, childless 19-year old, I was more responsible than Bin, married and expecting his first child.  I moved out of my parents' house at age 19, got a full time job working for a small town lawyer, I owned my own car, paid all my bills, and even had enough left over to put some money into savings.  I didn't need to rely on a daddy figure to provide me with a job.  Duggar sons-in-law are batting zero in terms of holding down real paying jobs. 

Bin's new career is professional baby maker and grifter. I'm pretty sure all else is secondary.

You forgot "pretty boy" who wears his baseball cap backwards and/or sideways, depending on his mood.

I will never understand the logic of taking that much time off from school because his wife is pregnant. I went to classes until I was 38 weeks pregnant, had my son, started online classes two weeks after he was born, and have continued on with it and have since had another child. I never took a break. I suppose I don't have the option of living off of TLC money though. /eyeroll

Yeah.  I worked up to my 39th week, because I felt just fine (except for being huge).  What's this malarkey about Bin needing to take some time off to prepare for the baby?  Why, that's Duggar-Seewald bullshit, that's what it is. 

[socalrules]

I know a couple of people in law school that had their babies in the middle of the semester and were back within a few weeks. They graduated on time and one with honors. When you live in the real world, it's hard to take they easy way like Ben and Jessa. They have no idea that it's not normal to forgo school so you can stay home with your pregnant wife for months. If he was in school this month the semester would nearly be over before the baby was born. It's not like he had Jessa live in the middle of nowhere with no relatives. They are surrounded by Duggars. She will always have someone to help out. It's like she will be lost without him. I guess they really are dumb enough to think people really believe their "logic" makes sense. I would be surprised if Ben actually goes back to school. I don't believe for a minute he ever intends to get a real job.

[Bad Wolf]

My mum had a stroke during the last year of my master's program. I had to decide whether to quit and fly across the pond or keep going. I decided she would want me to finish

After I graduated, I went back, and she died while I was there. That was my mother, always considerate of others. I still miss her, but I'm glad I finished my degree. It would have been hard to go back. Bin is a wimp. 

[ksgranola1]

I'm surprised Ben 's father didn't tell him to get a job/finish school. JB I can see, b/c he wants Ben to be "available" to run errands for him.

Do you suppose Ben knows that wearing your hat like that is a sign you're a thug?

I'm pretty sure both the Dills & Seewalds have a tv. b/c the boys are so into sports. No way are they going to miss major games.

We saw one at Josh/Anna's. The way the world is today, I wouldn't take a chance on missing a major news event.

[missegeno]

Wow, @silverspoons, I'm sorry to hear you feel so trapped. I know my mom had a similar issue when I was growing up. She had grown up in Ohio and that's where her family was, so that's where she moved when she started having kids. For most of my life, she told us how much she hated living in Ohio but was waiting for us to finish growing up. As soon as I was settled at college, she got started on the process of moving back and has now lived in California ever since. Maybe you can do something like that? Get your son settled then put some energy toward finding a job and apt in an area you would rather live in?

[apandaaries]

To me what doesn't add up is the Seewalds' angle. What sane parent is convinced by their never having been in the real world teenager, that he needs to travel 300 miles to pursue a girl that he saw on a TV show? Come on. I've parented teens, and there is no way in he!! that the stories they have all told are exacting, because if they are, all 4 parents need to have their heads thoroughly examined by a HCP.

 

Well, a sane parent...but remember Michael Seewald's blog on the importance of marrying young?  http://www.seewalds.com/blog/marrying-young  Better to marry than to burn (or to work, apparently).  We don't know much about the Seewalds, but the Duggars certainly don't have issues with people being married, unemployed, and reproducing.

I knew a girl who was pregnant while she was completing her bachelors, and she didn't take the whole semester off.  And she was the one who was pregnant!  The fact that Bin and Jessa think that it is a good excuse shows how poorly they understand regular people. 

Like others, I've known a LOT of people who have managed to combine pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing AND challenging academic programs successfully. What a way to highlight their ignorance -- how will life get EASIER with a baby?  

Dear dog...they are also still babbling on about adopting, too, aren't they?  May the great, flying spaghetti monster in the sky protect any children which might wind up in their care and prevent any adoptions which might occur.  

[Eighth-of-eleven]

I am facinated by the lack of shame on both their parts. Show a knee and give deep apologies. Be two unemployed people living off daddy, with a baby on the way, while spending the day taking selfies, and they think they are living model lives for all the heathens to follow. I would be embarrassed to be in their shoes but I come from a family that wouldn't get off our backs until we got it together. I would have been embarrassed from day one. I can't even imagine being 22 and telling my family I am going to marry an unemployed 19 year old and our goal is to have as many children and the Lord will allow without actually having a job. They actually think this is normal. What do they do all day other than take selfies? The non-stop honeymoon sex likely wore off months ago.

Most people don't take time off because their wife is having a baby. Most can't do it. He was going to school, not working a 9 to 5. He could have put all his classes on two days. They just need to admit that their is no need for a job or school as long has TLC or Jim Bob pays the bills. I wonder if they even understand th concept of self-sufficient. 

I was not pregnant at 23, however, I had bbeen to college, self supporting since 18, I was working full time and had moved in to my parents home, not to be supported by them, because my father was dying of pancreatic cancer, and my mom did not work out side the home, but to financially support them and help with my father's care. It was the best time of my life, because I grew up, changed careers, (went into nursing after having been a music major) and was able to have a real relationship , for the first time, with my dying father. 23 is not too young to grow up a bit when you are faced with real challenge.

[BunnyBee]

I am not even gonna front right now, Papa Seewald is a moving writer... not his post about marrying young, but in the comments about salvation he was actually very eloquent, DAYUM Michael

I know I am having a moment 

Poor Bin's writing skills are definitely reflective of the SOTDRT 

[Lysistrata]

My imagination immediately went to a Rocky-esque montage of  Benjerman 'preparing' for the baby during his time off from unemployment - taking a week and a half to figure out how install a car seat, some of his sisters-in-law teaching him how to change a diaper with Jessa rolling her eyes at him, etc.

Sadly, you don't need to imagine it--you'll get to see it.  I think you just spelled out the Benessa story beats for the special.  And it won't be a quick montage... we won't get off that easy.  

 

[Imagine20]

I graduated from law school with a woman who took the bar 8 months pregnant. I don't get the whole taking months off waiting for a baby to arrive especially if you're the father.

My 3rd year of law school I landed in the hospital with a blood clot on a Wednesday, was released Friday, and I was back in class Monday.

[nst]

Bin is a 20 year old sexually repressed man, I'm sure he is still expecting Jessa to be joyfully available all day long ... Not that I want to think about it.

 

what makes you think he is sexually repressed? because of all the sin talk and the i am saved crap ?

that picture of them in the hospital bed seemed like the most natural thing in the world. 

I think he will be shocked that he can only have sex again in January after the two of them just went willy nilly for months without a care in the world - now it won't only be about him - 

[violynn]

I know I'm going to get smacked for this, but if Ben is working for JBob, he has a job.  My dad owned an electrical business, and I've worked for him, and my brother worked for him for 20 years.  It was work, we got up every day, put in our 8-10 hour days, paid taxes and received a check.  Working for family is just that work.  Dad expected more from us, and gave his non-family employees more slack.  I get tired of reading constantly that working for JBob isn't work.

[nst]

I know I'm going to get smacked for this, but if Ben is working for JBob, he has a job.  My dad owned an electrical business, and I've worked for him, and my brother worked for him for 20 years.  It was work, we got up every day, put in our 8-10 hour days, paid taxes and received a check.  Working for family is just that work.  Dad expected more from us, and gave his non-family employees more slack.  I get tired of reading constantly that working for JBob isn't work.

word!! - for years I worked for my dad - in apartment rentals (property management)  - while I worked - LEARNED the trade - bought the trade - made money - it's honorable - it's just different with Ben somehow - I get that - he won't be the lawn boy forever - he might become his dream - but he will always be remembered as a lawn boy