There's No Place Like Home

[Eater of Worlds]

43 minutes ago, daisyd681 said:

"Random acts of child trafficking" is the perfect description. 

No kidding.  There was an article out a few years ago about re-homing and it showed how child predators often work to take in these kids.  Or you have a situation like that legislator in uh, Arkansas?  That thought his adopted kids needed exorcism and placed them in a home where they were sexually abused.  It's horrible that this problem still isn't fixed.

[accountingstar]

Someone left a non-positive comment on There's No Place Like Home regarding their hosting of Y. I figured I would share it here before it disappears.

Quote

Stacey T.January 12, 2016 at 9:23 AM
I have such mixed feelings about Chinese orphan hosting. While I'm sure it brings blessings to your family during the time of hosting, I have to wonder what it does to the child's young heart. They live their life in the orphanage, and then get this amazing long airplane ride, and then they get to meet this wonderful family, and do amazing things that they've never gotten to do before....and then they go back. Back to the orphanage. With just memories of their wonderful time in America.

I wonder what they think "They have all of these Chinese children that they've adopted, but what about me, why do I have to go back, was I bad? Did they not like me? What did I do wrong?"

I asked my 11 year old about what she thought the child would think (she's adopted from China). I explained the scenario of a child living in the orphanage, then visiting America and living with a family for 3 weeks and going to amusement parks and eating yummy treats and then going back" I asked her how she thought it would feel to the child and she said "Fun while it was going on, but horrible after they went back"

I just wonder what the long term effects are on the child that is not adopted.....

 

[Diana]

35 minutes ago, accountingstar said:

Someone left a non-positive comment on There's No Place Like Home regarding their hosting of Y. I figured I would share it here before it disappears.

 

But the kid is geting medical atention for free in the US, i think thats not that unusual, to host a kid so he can go to the dentist and that kind of stuff? obviously it would be better if he gets adopted but its better than nothing, no?

[pikapika]

On 1/3/2016 at 7:59 PM, Queen Of Hearts said:

Wow. My positive feelings for this family have now completely vanished after reading Jean's latest edit. If she is going to be so dishonest about this, what else is she lying to us about? My guess is plenty.

 

I also had positive feelings for this family, I follow them a lot and while I do think they had too many adopted children it seemed that because they have means the children get needed medical attention, availability of special ed and some level of parent attention. But there were reasons why they were denied adoption about a year ago, and now they suddenly have one more child whose arrival keeps getting edited. Wish Jean would be open about the process of how she got Joy, and I honestly hope that this is not a path they decide to take on since their days of adopting (directly) from China are over. It also upsets me that they want to change Joy's name, I would understand if they were adopting her from China and wanted to give her an english name like the rest of their children, but Joy already was given a different name upon arrival to the USA, it is just not right. 

[SummerRocks]

So am I the only one who is crying when reading Jean's latest post?

I get it - yes, Y coming to America is great health wise; he gets to see a dentist and has some work done. Yes, I am sure it is an awesome experience while the experience lasts. But seriously ... he has to go back to China, back to an orphanage now knowing what is out there (in America), what he is missing out on. My adult self can comprehend that America did make a positive impact on him, but can Y do this as a child?! 

When I see him back in that red track suit (ugh) at the airport, I am heartbroken! This little boy has lived in an American family with so many Chinese children, how can he not wonder "why them and not me?!" 

And to top it all off, while Y was in America his host family takes in ANOTHER Chinese girl (Joy) who gets to stay with the family?! What?! You cannot make me believe that Y's mind can comprehend all of this. 

I feel so sad for Y. I do not understand why a family their size has to do this hosting experience and take in another child from a disruption all while hosting Y. As Jean states "for our family it was an amazing experience" and I do not doubt that, but what about Y now back in China.

 

 

[dianapavelovna]

4 hours ago, SummerRocks said:

So am I the only one who is crying when reading Jean's latest post?

Nope - my heart broke for the little guy. Hosting always just seems cruel to me.

Edited January 13, 2016 by dianapavelovna

[blessalessi]

7 hours ago, Diana said:

But the kid is geting medical atention for free in the US, i think thats not that unusual, to host a kid so he can go to the dentist and that kind of stuff? obviously it would be better if he gets adopted but its better than nothing, no?

I have never heard of this hosting anywhere but as a new market in the overseas child trafficking/adoption industry.

If one wants to give dental care to Chinese orphans, wouldn't it be more sensible to fund a dentist to stop by the orphanage once in a while, than to bring a single child to the USA for a visit?

[lilwriter85]

7 hours ago, pikapika said:

I also had positive feelings for this family, I follow them a lot and while I do think they had too many adopted children it seemed that because they have means the children get needed medical attention, availability of special ed and some level of parent attention. But there were reasons why they were denied adoption about a year ago, and now they suddenly have one more child whose arrival keeps getting edited. Wish Jean would be open about the process of how she got Joy, and I honestly hope that this is not a path they decide to take on since their days of adopting (directly) from China are over. It also upsets me that they want to change Joy's name, I would understand if they were adopting her from China and wanted to give her an english name like the rest of their children, but Joy already was given a different name upon arrival to the USA, it is just not right. 

 

I have had mixed feelings on Jean and Jim. I got introduced to their blog three years ago from another FJer. I liked them at first. They are Catholic, but not crazy fundie Catholic. I thought the adoptions were too frequent. I always found it a bit sad that Jean, Jim, and their  bio kids never attempted to learn a dialect of Chinese.

16 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

I have never heard of this hosting anywhere but as a new market in the overseas child trafficking/adoption industry.

If one wants to give dental care to Chinese orphans, wouldn't it be more sensible to fund a dentist to stop by the orphanage once in a while, than to bring a single child to the USA for a visit?

I have heard of hosting children for major medical treatments and surgeries. Here in New Mexico, people have hosted children and sometimes their parents for treatments or surgeries. 

I agree, it would be sensible to fund dental missions for volunteer dentists. A family friend of ours did dental missions years ago in Mexico and Guatemala.

[Mercer]

30 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

If one wants to give dental care to Chinese orphans, wouldn't it be more sensible to fund a dentist to stop by the orphanage once in a while, than to bring a single child to the USA for a visit?

This. Surely Chinese orphans as a group have more pressing physical, social, and educational needs than pricey vacations abroad. The money spent on that trip could have gone a lot farther and helped more children if it was used for facility improvements, in-country medical care, schooling, nutrition, etc.

Obviously if a child has a major medical need that cannot be addressed in their home country, that would be a good use of the hosting option.

That said, the hosting programs I'm aware of that are specifically for orphans are not typically focused on exceptional medical needs. (Since exceptional medical needs are not exclusive to orphans, and would affect kids living with their families too.) A lot of orphan hosting that I'm familiar with is actually a sort of adoption "audition"... which everyone involved is aware of, including the children. Even if that's not the case with this particular program, it seems like the money could be better spent.

[Diana]

 

1 hour ago, blessalessi said:

I have never heard of this hosting anywhere but as a new market in the overseas child trafficking/adoption industry.

If one wants to give dental care to Chinese orphans, wouldn't it be more sensible to fund a dentist to stop by the orphanage once in a while, than to bring a single child to the USA for a visit?

really? i heard a lot of programs like that. Not necesarilly orphans actually, it can be children that have a family but because their family cant afford medical atention an NGO bring them to live with a family for a period of time. I even know of similar programs for kids to come in the summer, to spend time with a family (i know this program exist for sahrawi kids, and also for kids from chernobyl). I always thought they were great programs TBH, i dont see why are they bad...

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

I think it is incredibly cruel of the Mulvahils to accept Joy into their family right in the middle of Y's visit.  Both kids needed extra attention during that period, attention that they now had to split.  And poor Y surely would have questions as to why the family can't keep him but they can keep Joy.  And for that matter, Joy has already been given away by her previous family... now she is in a home where suddenly one of the kids has to leave and go back to China.  That's got to make her worry if she could somehow be next.  It all seems so traumatic.  Considering Joy was rehomed (and regardless of how many times Jean wants to edit the story, we all know the truth) I am sure her prior family could have kept her for another couple weeks for the good of both kids.  But of course then the Mulvahils wouldn't have a new Christmas toy, now would they?

I doubt Joy will be their last rehomed child.  One or both of the Mulvahils have an addiction to child adoption.  China cut them off but they have found a new source now to get their 'fix.'

[Diana]

3 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

I think it is incredibly cruel of the Mulvahils to accept Joy into their family right in the middle of Y's visit.  Both kids needed extra attention during that period, attention that they now had to split.  And poor Y surely would have questions as to why the family can't keep him but they can keep Joy.  And for that matter, Joy has already been given away by her previous family... now she is in a home where suddenly one of the kids has to leave and go back to China.  That's got to make her worry if she could somehow be next.  It all seems so traumatic.  Considering Joy was rehomed (and regardless of how many times Jean wants to edit the story, we all know the truth) I am sure her prior family could have kept her for another couple weeks for the good of both kids.  But of course then the Mulvahils wouldn't have a new Christmas toy, now would they?

I doubt Joy will be their last rehomed child.  One or both of the Mulvahils have an addiction to child adoption.  China cut them off but they have found a new source now to get their 'fix.'

I also think they have an adiction, they would have never stop to adopt from china if not because they are now too old to adopt from there. By the way, rehoming is like private adoption, right? but do you need an aproval by a social worker still, right?

Edited January 13, 2016 by Diana

[Mercer]

10 minutes ago, Diana said:

By the way, rehoming is like private adoption, right? but do you need an aproval by a social worker still, right?

Approval may or may not be required for a voluntary transfer of a child depending on your jurisdiction. Sometimes all that is required is a notarized power of attorney if the receiving family is simply taking custody rather than completing a formal adoption, which is pretty common in rehoming situations.

Even in jurisdictions where a homestudy would be required, and even though ICPC approval is supposed to be completed if the transfer is across state lines, parents will sometimes ignore the legalities to get the child off their hands. These situations often go undetected and the laws go unenforced.

This series of articles is pretty eye opening about the practice of rehoming: http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

[Diana]

36 minutes ago, Mercer said:

Approval may or may not be required for a voluntary transfer of a child depending on your jurisdiction. Sometimes all that is required is a notarized power of attorney if the receiving family is simply taking custody rather than completing a formal adoption, which is pretty common in rehoming situations.

Even in jurisdictions where a homestudy would be required, and even though ICPC approval is supposed to be completed if the transfer is across state lines, parents will sometimes ignore the legalities to get the child off their hands. These situations often go undetected and the laws go unenforced.

This series of articles is pretty eye opening about the practice of rehoming: http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

I see, i never understood the private adoption thing, it seems the law in the states is too lax and doesnt protect children enough. There is always going to be people wanting to adopt too much kids even if with good intentions thats why there should be limits put on them to avoid situatios like this. The same about rehoming. I personally would make private adoption ilegal because its a thing that will always make child trafficking easier (Even if in this case she was lucky with the there is not place like home family, she could have ended anywhere ).

Edited January 13, 2016 by Diana

[SummerRocks]

On January 12, 2016 at 0:21 PM, accountingstar said:

Someone left a non-positive comment on There's No Place Like Home regarding their hosting of Y. I figured I would share it here before it disappears.

 

It is still there - I kinda thought Jean would delete it ... 

 

I wonder now Y is gone (you know all blessed with the wonderful memories of his time in America) if we are going to get an update on Joy ... 

[Black Aliss]

15 hours ago, Diana said:

 

really? i heard a lot of programs like that. Not necesarilly orphans actually, it can be children that have a family but because their family cant afford medical atention an NGO bring them to live with a family for a period of time. I even know of similar programs for kids to come in the summer, to spend time with a family (i know this program exist for sahrawi kids, and also for kids from chernobyl). I always thought they were great programs TBH, i dont see why are they bad...

 

Typically this is done when a child needs complex medical care, such as facial reconstruction, open heart surgery, or limb straightening, and that level of care isn't available locally, not just routine dental care or health evaluations.

The kids who come from Ukraine and Belarus supposedly gain a stronger immune system from a month or two of eating fresh, uncontaminated food. They also receive dental care and eye exams. I think there's also benefit to be gained from seeing that there's a world out there where people don't live in poverty. I don't know how it affects their families, though, to be reminded in a way that the best they can do for their children isn't good enough.

[blessalessi]

17 hours ago, Diana said:

 

really? i heard a lot of programs like that. Not necesarilly orphans actually, it can be children that have a family but because their family cant afford medical atention an NGO bring them to live with a family for a period of time. I even know of similar programs for kids to come in the summer, to spend time with a family (i know this program exist for sahrawi kids, and also for kids from chernobyl). I always thought they were great programs TBH, i dont see why are they bad...

 

The new wave of Christian hosting programmes is explicitly linked to the adoption industry in the examples I have seen.  Eg, this one is called "Host to adopt". http://www.familiesoffana.org/adoption-services/summer-magic/

It offers children on a sale or return basis.  Children, not commodities.

I have heard of organisations that organise "recuperative holidays" for children from Chernobyl, because of the disease and illness the children have suffered.  I don't think that they are anything to do with casting the net for adoptive families, so I don't see the connection between that and the agency in the OP.

In the case in the OP, the boy was brought over with the intention of the family to advocate to find him an adoptive family. I imagine he would have known that.  Instead of a forever family, he got a trip to the dentist, a front row seat while a different child was adopted, and then he was sent home. Praise Jesus. Or not, as you wish.

Edited January 13, 2016 by blessalessi

[chaotic life]

There are two different hosting programs, one type is not in any way linked to adoption and it's literally hosting a child, securing medical and dental care and then they go home. I'm not sure what the child is beloved to gain from the experience, but I know people who have hosted.

The other type is run by agencies who also do adoptions and while they will usually say it's not about adoption, because historically they were working with countries where it was illegal to test drive a child before you adopt them, those programs are about test driving a child.

Then, there's a third type actually, that specifically brings children for medical care. Operation Smile is well known, well established and well respected example of this type. They do try to bring a parent with a child, but sometimes that can't happen and even when it can they seek out host families to take the child and their caregiver if one travels with them.

[Queen Of Hearts]

8 hours ago, SummerRocks said:

 

I wonder now Y is gone (you know all blessed with the wonderful memories of his time in America) if we are going to get an update on Joy ... 

I wouldn't hold your breath.  Their daughter Katie just had her 2nd baby so I rather suspect the next post will be about that.  I also wouldn't be shocked if Jean and Jim don't leave the kids with the sitter so they can fly out to spend time with Katie and Co.  For as much traveling as they do (very often without the kids) I sometimes wonder if they don't have a live-in nanny that they don't tell us about.  

[SummerRocks]

7 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

I wouldn't hold your breath.  Their daughter Katie just had her 2nd baby so I rather suspect the next post will be about that.  I also wouldn't be shocked if Jean and Jim don't leave the kids with the sitter so they can fly out to spend time with Katie and Co.  For as much traveling as they do (very often without the kids) I sometimes wonder if they don't have a live-in nanny that they don't tell us about.  

Jean did not give us an instant update on Katie and grand baby #2?!  I see grand baby #2 was born January 5. So during the time Y was here. Why am I wondering if Jean did not travel to see Katie and co for a blitz visit while Y was in America? I'm probably wrong, but she sure does love Emily (grand baby #1) to a point of when I see pictures of Emily visiting them, I only focus on the adopted children in the background and if they really look happy to have that cute blond girl around. There was a post a while ago about who of the adopted children was allowed to hold Emily, that post made me slightly ill.

 

And I am right - Jean and Jim did visit Katie and Co to see the new grand baby. I am not sure if we are allowed to put links to people's social media on here so I won't. How do these people manage it all? And how do all these children feel about all of this? Hosting Y, the holidays, getting a new sister Joy, mom and dad go visit new grandchild, Y leaves - sigh. I obviously have no idea if I am typing the events in the right order. Jean is smart enough to not mention her visit to Katie (nor the birth of grand baby #2) on her blog cause it wouldn't look good on them to leave all these children in such a vulnerable time as a family. 

 

You bring up a point I always have wondered Queen of Hearts. Jean talks about cleaners coming in and a company to wash their windows, but yes a live in nanny (or two) would not surprise me. 

 

I have followed her blog for so long that I feel like I know too much of them, ha. Recently though I am so turned off by the choices they make. 

Edited January 14, 2016 by SummerRocks

[JillyO]

Does anybody remember who took care of the two girls last winter, when the family went to Florida and these two didn't join them until later? It was the two teenaged biological sisters, Emma (?) and the other's name also starts with an E. Anyway, they go to a public school because of their special ed needs, and Jean didn't want to take them out of school for too long, so they stayed home for two weeks with a sitter and went to school while the others were already on vacation. I know a lady stayed with them for that time, but I don't remember who it was. Maybe their live-in nanny (though Jean definitely didn't call her that in the post)?  Perhaps somebody else remembers. If not, I might dig around later.

[SummerRocks]

36 minutes ago, JillyO said:

Does anybody remember who took care of the two girls last winter, when the family went to Florida and these two didn't join them until later? It was the two teenaged biological sisters, Emma (?) and the other's name also starts with an E. Anyway, they go to a public school because of their special ed needs, and Jean didn't want to take them out of school for too long, so they stayed home for two weeks with a sitter and went to school while the others were already on vacation. I know a lady stayed with them for that time, but I don't remember who it was. Maybe their live-in nanny (though Jean definitely didn't call her that in the post)?  Perhaps somebody else remembers. If not, I might dig around later.

I have seen Jean mention a sitter and called her sitter/friend Karen. Karen must be a mature lady, cause she has a teenage daughter who was mentioned on the blog ages ago as well (when Karen stayed with the children so Jean could pick up more kiddos in China) A little search leads me to a picture of Karen with the kids; http://homefamily1208.blogspot.ca/2015/12/there-no-place-like-home.html (you will have to scroll a bit to see it) 

When Ellie and Emma were left home while everyone else went to Florida, Jean just mentioned "our sitter".

 

**Why do I know this stuff haha**

[accountingstar]

I too assumed that Jean and her husband went to DC to visit the newest baby.

Here's a photo of granddaughters Emily and Ali.

 

44 minutes ago, JillyO said:

Does anybody remember who took care of the two girls last winter, when the family went to Florida and these two didn't join them until later? It was the two teenaged biological sisters, Emma (?) and the other's name also starts with an E. Anyway, they go to a public school because of their special ed needs, and Jean didn't want to take them out of school for too long, so they stayed home for two weeks with a sitter and went to school while the others were already on vacation. I know a lady stayed with them for that time, but I don't remember who it was. Maybe their live-in nanny (though Jean definitely didn't call her that in the post)?  Perhaps somebody else remembers. If not, I might dig around later.

Here's what Jean said in her blog:

Quote

The girls are here!
Emma and Ellie have safely arrived!

They arrived a couple days ago!
Everything went well at home and school and they enjoyed their time with our sitter!

It feels so good to have them with us!
And they are so happy to be back here!

Quote

Good night uncooperative big girls!
Ava is with Sarah and Mia now because Em and El are not here yet.
We miss them and look forward to them joining us!
They are doing well with our sitter and enjoying their school!

I am sure that there is more regarding the sitter on the blog. She also has a school helper.

I am waiting for them to go to Florida again this year.

[SummerRocks]

Jim and Jean did visit ... 

[accountingstar]

So Y had to be in Chicago on January 7th so is it safe to assume that Jim and Jean flew onto Washington DC? They left DC two days ago. I know Jean said that only Jim went to drop off Y, but why fly back West again just to go back out East. Maybe I am overthinking it. At least they visited after Y left to go home. Interesting that her last post is on the day that she came back from DC.

Quote

That evening we told him through google translate that Baba and he would be leaving very early...

Quote

CCAI Adoption

7 de enero a las 11:30 ·

Today our hosting children and their families all said tearful good-byes this morning as another successful program comes to an end!

The 29 orphans, along with their chaperons, are on their way to Chicago this morning from all over the country and then will be heading on to Beijing.

We'd like to thank all the families and volunteers who helped make this Winter's program so great for the children! You have definitely shown them how important the love of a family can be over the last 3 weeks, and have helped so many of them get one step closer to being united with their ‪#‎foreverfamily‬!

Link to CCAI Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/ccai_family/

It appears that most of the hosted children went to the dentist and one little boy even got glasses.