Sex is only for Christians.

[LovelyLuna]

since I was baptized at 2 months against my will, dose that mean I get to have sex? I was only sprinkled tho, so I don’t think they count it. :think: :lol:

[Crocoduck]

since I was baptized at 2 months against my will, dose that mean I get to have sex? I was only sprinkled tho, so I don’t think they count it. :think: :lol:

I think an involuntary baptism merits a minimum of 2 nights of drunken, no-strings-attached copulation :twisted:

Have you shared this story elsewhere on FJ? If not, would you be willing to tell us more?

[countressrascal]

I think an involuntary baptism merits a minimum of 2 nights of drunken, no-strings-attached copulation :twisted:

Have you shared this story elsewhere on FJ? If not, would you be willing to tell us more?

So how much should I charge Count for sex?

[Dandruff]

So how much should I charge Count for sex?

Enough to be prohibitive. If you want to exalt less, charge less.

[LovelyLuna]

both of my parents family are conservative Christian so I was baptized at 2 months of age on Christmas. (my brother at 6 months on Easter.) It was in a Lutheran Church and I was sprinkled with my parents and g-d parents at the front of the church. Because I did not give consent, nor was I an age of reason, I consider it to be against my will. I am lucky my parents are lazy about religion because I could have been brought up in a conservative Christian home like my cousins. ::shudder::

infant baptism is messed up, It means two things (to me at least). One, my infant self would have gone to hell in my parents eyes had I died before the Big Sprinkle, and two, dedicating someone to a religion before they can give consent is meaningless, I was not ‘saved’ at that moment. you have to accept Jesus into your heart (allegedly) which doesn’t happen at 2 months old.

[browncoatslytherin]

both of my parents family are conservative Christian so I was baptized at 2 months of age on Christmas. (my brother at 6 months on Easter.) It was in a Lutheran Church and I was sprinkled with my parents and g-d parents at the front of the church. Because I did not give consent, nor was I an age of reason, I consider it to be against my will. I am lucky my parents are lazy about religion because I could have been brought up in a conservative Christian home like my cousins. ::shudder::

infant baptism is messed up, It means two things (to me at least). One, my infant self would have gone to hell in my parents eyes had I died before the Big Sprinkle, and two, dedicating someone to a religion before they can give consent is meaningless, I was not ‘saved’ at that moment. you have to accept Jesus into your heart (allegedly) which doesn’t happen at 2 months old.

i agree with the creepiness/weirdness of doing religious-type rites to children. the whole idea sounds similar to baby dedications (which is what some christians do if they don't believe in infant baptism). i was dedicated as a baby in a baptist church. turned out pagan. :P honestly, though, a tiny part of me stayed in christianity because my parents had done this and i didn't want it to be for nothing (it wasn't the only factor, or even a major factor, but it was there in the back of my mind).

one difference between that and baptism is it's not believed the affect the baby going to heaven if they die...rather, my brand of ifb believed there was an age of innocence where if a child died, they would go to heaven because they didn't understand and know sin. there was never an exact age, and it seemed a bit of a contentious topic to me whenever it was brought up, but people seemed to go along with it. *shrug*

i'm not sure which fundie this was, but i thought i remembered one mother setting her child on a stack of bibles and praying over them to dedicate them. was it david waller that happened to?

[Toothfairy]

You know what, this is actually a good idea. Who needs a job when you can get paid having sex with someone who isn't christian.

[iweartanktops]

i agree with the creepiness/weirdness of doing religious-type rites to children. the whole idea sounds similar to baby dedications (which is what some christians do if they don't believe in infant baptism). i was dedicated as a baby in a baptist church. turned out pagan. :P honestly, though, a tiny part of me stayed in christianity because my parents had done this and i didn't want it to be for nothing (it wasn't the only factor, or even a major factor, but it was there in the back of my mind).

one difference between that and baptism is it's not believed the affect the baby going to heaven if they die...rather, my brand of ifb believed there was an age of innocence where if a child died, they would go to heaven because they didn't understand and know sin. there was never an exact age, and it seemed a bit of a contentious topic to me whenever it was brought up, but people seemed to go along with it. *shrug*

i'm not sure which fundie this was, but i thought i remembered one mother setting her child on a stack of bibles and praying over them to dedicate them. was it david waller that happened to?

The way I understand baby "dedication" in the non-denominational church I was raised in is that the parents are actually making a commitment to raise the child in a biblical Christian home.

[browncoatslytherin]

The way I understand baby "dedication" in the non-denominational church I was raised in is that the parents are actually making a commitment to raise the child in a biblical Christian home.

i don't doubt it's different in different churches, especially a non-denom compared to ifb. the meaning behind mine was that my parents were giving my life over to god and that i would serve him. that's a lot of responsibility and commitment to put on somebody, much less a baby who has no understanding of what's going on and has no capacity to choose for themselves.

[iweartanktops]

i don't doubt it's different in different churches, especially a non-denom compared to ifb. the meaning behind mine was that my parents were giving my life over to god and that i would serve him. that's a lot of responsibility and commitment to put on somebody, much less a baby who has no understanding of what's going on and has no capacity to choose for themselves.

Yes, I can absolutely see what's wrong there. Not okay! I personally have no issues with my parents dedicating me in the way I described above, as it was *their* commitment. Obviously it affected my life but it's just the same as any parents choosing how to raise their children. I don't agree with baptizing infants/young children. The church I grew up in was also fairly strict about baptizing older children who asked to be! I remember choosing to around age 10 or 11 and going through a class and some questions without my parents present. It was nothing inappropriate but I think the purpose was to make sure I understood the seriousness of the decision and that I wasn't under any pressure from someone. I respect that so much! It just breaks my heart for the Fundie kids :( And quite frankly, pisses me off!

Edited for clarification

[twinmama]

I'm sure crazy preacher man believes there is no rape in a Christian marriage. One body and all that. :pull-hair:

If it's one body isn't all sex masturbation then?

[Trynn]

i don't doubt it's different in different churches, especially a non-denom compared to ifb. the meaning behind mine was that my parents were giving my life over to god and that i would serve him. that's a lot of responsibility and commitment to put on somebody, much less a baby who has no understanding of what's going on and has no capacity to choose for themselves.

Baby dedications in adventism ways rubbed me the wrong way too. If I remember correctly, it was more than just raising the baby in a godly home.

[RosyDaisy]

My church doesn't christen/baptize infants and young children. In fact, the youngest person baptized was 16, I think.

[DaisyD]

We dedicated our oldest when he was a few weeks old in my husband's Assembly of God church. It seemed important to him at the time. I have no memory of what I agreed to do. I tend to zone out in those situations. I can guarantee that we have not kept up with whatever we said we'd do. Oldest is firmly agnostic, and totally skeptical about religion. If I recall though, it was more about asking God to watch over him than promising anything about his future. I honestly don't remember though, so I could be wrong.

[Trynn]

No matter how many times I see this thread.... Cannot un see christmas.

[AngelGirl8811]

I was baptized at 2 weeks old and am currently a lapsed Catholic. So I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't count in the eyes of this crazy preacher, seeing that they are always in South America trying to convert us. So how come I haven't been getting paid?

[refugee]

Isn't this the same evil SOB who pimped out Ian and Larissa's story when they were first married, and who convinced Larissa she had to marry Ian?

His grasp of the holy is pretty tentative, as far as I'm concerned. And his grasp of word meanings is as well. I guess everyone in history before Jesus resurrection, as well as everyone who isn't a John Piper accepted Christian is a prostitute.

I wonder what word he uses for people who sell Jesus for profit?

BFFs.

[refugee]

Shouldn't Jesus have better things to do than watch people exalt or offend him through sex? And how would rape be classified (in a Christian marriage or not)?

It's possible that he is among those low-lifes who don't believe there's such a thing as marital rape.

[smittykins]

Yeah, he seems like one of those "you gave your consent when you said 'I do'" types. :angry-banghead:

[MarblesMom]

Every time I see this thread come up in active posts, I think it says "Sex is only for Christmas." In the same vein that "sprinkles are only for winners... "