Teri Maxwell gets passive aggressive about the ABC girls

[Handmaiden of Dog]

She can only spare one hour in a week? How fucking selfish is that!! Those poor girls having to suffer through their 20 minutes of Grandma from Hell time. While Teri is reading with one girl, what do the other two do? Are they allowed to read on their own? Do they have to read from Teri's bag? I can't think of anything more depressing than that hour of misery those poor girls have scheduled.

That's an interesting question. So now I'm wondering if she keeps one eye on the clock and one eye on the book at all times so that the sacred schedule is kept intact. If she is in the middle of reading a book does she just stop and close the cover? And why in the hell can't Teri spend more than one hour a week with those three girls (not that I want her too, she comes off like a black cloud.) What else does Teri have to do now that she is not homeschooling? I doubt she does any house cleaning-- she has three very fit young women to keep the house spotless. We know she doesn't have an active social life, or an addiction to TV, or spend hours shopping, so what is it that keeps her so busy she has to measure out her time in drips and drabs?

I am a volunteer reader at my local elementary school. For one hour a week I meet with a fourth grade student and we take turns reading to each other. The hour flies by and it is a lot of fun-- a little bit of socializing, some reading, some talking about the book and before you know it the hour is over.

I swear these people are such miserable excuses for human beings. They are taking a giant gamble that there IS an afterlife. I don't believe there is, I think this is all you get and they are just wasting this precious time on earth. There is so much to enjoy, so much life to live and it is all thrown away by the Maxwells who want to wallow in misery and boredom.

[bionicmlle]

Well, at least NR Anna knows exactly when she can plan on getting some time on her own, because Teri will be right on time getting there and leaving. Hopefully Teri doesn't mind if Anna leaves the house to run an errand, get a haircut or do something kind for herself.

(OK, I may have been stretching a little at the end, there.)

[anjulibai]

Looking a little more closely, I noticed this

I soon learned that I could have a planned playtime with my granddaughters at our house, but they would really rather play with the aunties

I'm betting that refers to that monthly grandparents' night they had. I wonder if they girls were asking if their aunts could join in.

I'm also wondering if the grandparents' night is now kaput.

Oh, this post just makes me think so much shit goes down over in Maxhell with the ABC girls. I think the girls get more freedom that Steve and Teri like.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Does Teri ever read to her grandsons Drew and Josh? Josh is the same age as Tina.

Uh yeah, boys like books too! Little boys also like to spend time with their grandma.

[DaffyDill]

Uh yeah, boys like books too! Little boys also like to spend time with their grandma.

My mum was close to Terri's age when she became a Grandma, and when my boys were 1 and 2, moved 3 hours away to retire. After a year or two though, the boys would spend a couple of days down at Grandma's which grew to a week or so as they grew older, and she'd plan for it for ages.

She would read story books to them (their choice of books), make cookies with them, always had a stash of coloured pencils, crayons, and borrowed a little easel from the neighbours so they could paint. She'd walk down to the beach with them, collect shells, go fishing, build sandcastles, and she always scoped out the best playgrounds where she'd go on most of the equipment herself, and any local events like street fairs they could go to, and she'd ride bikes with them. For a bit of a break, my step-dad would take them to golf with him, where they'd collect old tees, wash golf balls, and have a tall lemonade at the end, before going back to mums. She even taught them to knit and crochet (although they've forgotten how now).

At them end of the week, she'd be exhausted (in a good way!), but they'd all had an absolute ball together. My boys still remember their "Summers at Grandma's" now.

There is no reason Terri can't do any of the things my mother could do. She's fit enough to climb mountains, she must be fit enough for bike rides, cookie making, or crafts etc. She's missing out on SO much. None of the things mum did were expensive things to do, she was just prepared to give them all her time and attention while they were there, and make sure they had fun.

[socalrules]

I wonder what Teri took out of her weekly schedule to put in the one hour reading time. I imagine that Steve thought this was a good idea. It's so weird to schedule the one hour time with the girls. Retired grandparents that live nearby would be a godsend to most people. Most grandparents would just say they spend time with their grandkids every week while their mom rests, runs errands, goes to doctor appts., etc. They wouldn't see it as a chore as Teri seems to.

I think without the schedule forcing Teri to see the kids, she wouldn't go over and visit. I doubt Teri is inclined to do much of anything.

[Marian the Librarian]

Agree with those who think this is one of the weirdest Maxwell blog posts yet - and Teri really doesn't write well.

The most chilling part for me? The end-of-post Proverb she chose (bolding mine):

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:

but a broken spirit drieth the bones.â€

Well, they ought to know... :pink-shock:

[SolomonFundy]

It's no wonder the ABC's like spending time with the Maxwell Aunts. Let's face it: Anna, Sarah and Mary are glorified children themselves. They are the social equals of their nieces, albeit taller.

After I finished reading this bizarre post, I was relieved to check on FJ and see a thread ready-made about it. Like many of Teri's posts, this one just dripped with frustration and resentment. It's sad more than anything else.

It's unlikely to happen soon, given his apparent health, but I've often wondered what would happen to the family if Stevehovah died in the near future. My personal opinion is that every woman but Anna-Marie would be in pants within two years, and that Teri would end up in a women's bowling league or something. Nathan's kids would be in private school, Mary and Anna would find husbands, and maybe Sarah could somehow get the training to work in a daycare. She seems to love children, and I don't think her struggles with the English language would be as much of a burden in a setting like that (versus a classroom, for instance). I doubt that she would ever marry. She's had a bit too much of the KoolAid to fully rebound, and has had every shred of her self-confidence stifled since early childhood. The others seem a bit stronger, either by virtue of youth or sex. Sarah's lot was cast when her parents successfully convinced her that the happy years she spent as a socially active child were actually terrifying and sinful.

[nastyhobbitses]

My mum was close to Terri's age when she became a Grandma, and when my boys were 1 and 2, moved 3 hours away to retire. After a year or two though, the boys would spend a couple of days down at Grandma's which grew to a week or so as they grew older, and she'd plan for it for ages.

She would read story books to them (their choice of books), make cookies with them, always had a stash of coloured pencils, crayons, and borrowed a little easel from the neighbours so they could paint. She'd walk down to the beach with them, collect shells, go fishing, build sandcastles, and she always scoped out the best playgrounds where she'd go on most of the equipment herself, and any local events like street fairs they could go to, and she'd ride bikes with them. For a bit of a break, my step-dad would take them to golf with him, where they'd collect old tees, wash golf balls, and have a tall lemonade at the end, before going back to mums. She even taught them to knit and crochet (although they've forgotten how now).

At them end of the week, she'd be exhausted (in a good way!), but they'd all had an absolute ball together. My boys still remember their "Summers at Grandma's" now.

There is no reason Terri can't do any of the things my mother could do. She's fit enough to climb mountains, she must be fit enough for bike rides, cookie making, or crafts etc. She's missing out on SO much. None of the things mum did were expensive things to do, she was just prepared to give them all her time and attention while they were there, and make sure they had fun.

Heck, my grandma has always been pretty frail (osteoporosis and esophagus problems, though she's still kicking at 94), and when my sister and I would go to visit as children, she and my grandpa would take us to the zoo, to nature preserves, to the mall when it was really hot out, to the pool at their retirement community, we'd read together, we'd play computer games together, we'd do arts and crafts together, and my sister and I looked forward to every visit at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Teri is downright selfish, I think, to act like her grandchildren are only worth an hour of her time.

[mango_fandango]

As much as I hate Cheryl, Erika Shupe, Jill Rodrigues and J'Chelle... Teri and Steve are the WORST of the WORST in fundieland. You can even see Kelly Bates actually enjoying her grandchildren; those two hate THEIR life together, their kids, their grandkids and just life in general and they want everybody to be miserable as they are, even those little angels who unfortunately are their grandchildren... As much as i loathe Steve i can't sympathize with Teri, that iceberg doesn't have a kind maternal bone in her body and a woman who doesn't lift a finger to protect her kids (and now grandkids) gets no sympathy or compassion from me. I know she had/has depression but i live with it as well and trust me it would be hell on earth if someone messes with my niece, let alone a future kid of mine.

They infuriate me sorry but if there's a hell, i hope satan is waiting for them with a freaking roaster :angry-banghead:

Oh man, I so agree with you. Erika Shupe may be a Maxwell leghumper, but at least she appears to be letting her girls have an actual job *gasp*!. (Karen wants to be a cosmetologist). Sure, they're only going to be allowed to work until they're courting/married, but it's way more than any other fundie I've come across). J'Chelle is at least letting her daughters get married. And Kelly Bates actually lets her kids make their own rules once they're married, within reason (hence why Alyssa is now wearing pants/tank tops etc). I doubt whether any Bates kid will stray too far, but the married ones are making their own decisions to an extent.

Oh, and the other thing? At least the married Duggars and Bateses can move wherever they want (ahem where God leads them.) Sure, some of them have stayed in Arkansas/Tennessee, but they're not in the same bloody street. The Maxwells cried when Nathan and Melanie MOVED ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET. ARE THEY TAKING THE PISS OR WHAT. If they were that bad about a child moving a couple of doors down, I dread to think what they would've been like if Nathan had been in Josh's position of having to move 1000 miles away.

We snark on Erika, J Chelle and the rest a LOT, but they are hella permissive compared to Stevehovah and Terified.

[Justme]

It's unlikely to happen soon, given his apparent health, but I've often wondered what would happen to the family if Stevehovah died in the near future. My personal opinion is that every woman but Anna-Marie would be in pants within two years, and that Teri would end up in a women's bowling league or something. Nathan's kids would be in private school, Mary and Anna would find husbands, and maybe Sarah could somehow get the training to work in a daycare. She seems to love children, and I don't think her struggles with the English language would be as much of a burden in a setting like that (versus a classroom, for instance). I doubt that she would ever marry. She's had a bit too much of the KoolAid to fully rebound, and has had every shred of her self-confidence stifled since early childhood. The others seem a bit stronger, either by virtue of youth or sex. Sarah's lot was cast when her parents successfully convinced her that the happy years she spent as a socially active child were actually terrifying and sinful.

Funny, I see the complete opposite. I see them making their lives a shrine to Steve, especially Teri. I see them "talking/praying" to him many times during the day and living like he is watching their every move. "Dad/Steve would be happy if we did xxxx, Dad/Steve would be so proud of our doing xxxx", etc.

[Anny Nym]

I think the Maxwell Family would split into two camps: the ones conserving Stevehova´s memory into semi-cultic manners (Teri, Sarah, Anna, Christopher and maybe Jesse?) and the ones taking a deep breath and use the opportunity to go their own ways (Mary, John, Joseph). Nathan would probably watch from the distance?

BTT: Imho Joshuah will have very different memories of his grandparents than his cousins and sisters. Steve clearly dotes on/favours him.

[Jana814]

I think the Maxwell Family would split into two camps: the ones conserving Stevehova´s memory into semi-cultic manners (Teri, Sarah, Anna, Christopher and maybe Jesse?) and the ones taking a deep breath and use the opportunity to go their own ways (Mary, John, Joseph). Nathan would probably watch from the distance?

BTT: Imho Joshuah will have very different memories of his grandparents than his cousins and sisters. Steve clearly dotes on/favours him.

Completely agree! Steve favors Josh!!

[mango_fandango]

Funny, I see the complete opposite. I see them making their lives a shrine to Steve, especially Teri. I see them "talking/praying" to him many times during the day and living like he is watching their every move. "Dad/Steve would be happy if we did xxxx, Dad/Steve would be so proud of our doing xxxx", etc.

*shudders*

Nothing will ever prise NR Anna out of those frumpers. EVER.

[crawfishgirl]

Though I know it will never happen, a fun and easy thing that Teri could do with the kids is to take them to the library. They could pick out their own books each week, and many libraries have preschool events with activities for kids. These events are as 'wholesome and clean' as can be, but it probably wouldn't pass Maxwell standards, since other kids would be involved.

[MamaJunebug]

I don't see the looks of misery on the ABC faces but I sure do see the smug on Teri's mug.

She and another mother-of-many of my generation both annoy the stuffings out of me. I will only call the other one Mrs. S because if that family go any darker, they'll be into blackhhole territory.

Mrs. S is described by someone in the know as at best, low-energy. All too happy to let her older childreen raise the rest, and manipulating her oldest children into staying home and helpin her, long past the time they could've been out on their own.

But what does "on their own" mean? In Mrs. S's caasse, as in Teri's, none of the children have been to any post-secondary schooling -- unlike the elder S's and the Maxwell parents. Whether the large family size was a mutual decision or something foisted on one spouse by the other, all the parents seem supremely unconcerned about how their children will make it in the world without a lick of any education other than SOTDRT. And again, this from four adults of whom 3 definitely went to college/university and earned marketable degrees.

My parents' generation spat the epithet "The ME Generation" at us baby boomers, and I see that attitude in Teri, in Mrs. S, and in their husbands, *in *spades. Their children are status symbols ("Look how many we have! Ain't we well-loved by ™" and accessories that dammit, they wanted to have and they did! Educate them? Truly prep them to stand on their own? Pfft, what a concept. Look at us! We had many children and the girls never wear pants!

What really fries my potatoes is that Teri and Mrs. S would be the first to look at me and my friends and snot "Me Generation" in our direction because we limited the sizes of our families or had no children at all. But I'd like to think that we contributed to society in mmeasurable ways. Our Social Security checks seem to attest to this!

Selfish, that's what I see when I consider Teri, Mrs. S and any number of other baby boomers who we discuss here. Patently and unapologetically selfish.

[salex]

Though I know it will never happen, a fun and easy thing that Teri could do with the kids is to take them to the library. They could pick out their own books each week, and many libraries have preschool events with activities for kids. These events are as 'wholesome and clean' as can be, but it probably wouldn't pass Maxwell standards, since other kids would be involved.

Teri isn't gong to let those kids lose in a library to pick their own books, who knows what they might bring to her-- they might bring this and expect her to read it to them

Haven't we wondered if even Sarah is allowd to go to the library on her own?

[biblehumper]

The part that disgusts me is how it is once again all about Teri. Very narcissistic. It has to be Teri getting the attention from even little girls for her not to be in a huff.

I agree, the verse at the end was disturbing.

[Black Aliss]

Teri isn't gong to let those kids lose in a library to pick their own books, who knows what they might bring to her-- they might bring this and expect her to read it to them

Or this cute story about penguins:

[Hane]

When I was little, my girl cousins and I idolized "Jenny,"'our oldest cousin, and flocked around her whenever she and her parents visited. My mom would say, "Don't forget Auntie [Jenny's mom]!" but Auntie would say, "I'm GLAD that they love my Jenny!"

I feel the same way when littles are excited to see my daughter. There's no competition--each of us has her own special talents.

[danvillebelle]

It is not going to be long before the ABC's are rolling their eyes and begging Melanie "do we HAVE to have reading time with Grandma?" If they aren't already there.

Both my grandmothers were great but in very different ways. My dad's mom was more of the cook you everything you want, take you shopping, spoil you rotten-lots of cuddles type, and my mom's mom was the let's go on day trips/adventures/hike through Mammoth Cave/go see this Broadway show in town type. Every summer my brother and I would go spend a week with the former and two weeks with the latter. I treasure those memories now as the happiest most content times of my entire childhood. They anchored me.

I have to tell a hysterical story on my maternal grandmother because it's family legend and so utterly anti-Maxwell. Every summer she would take my brother, my cousin and I to some historical town or home in Kentucky (she lived in Louisville)...we went to Harrodsburg, Berea, Lincoln's birthplace, etc. Anyway - once we were on the grounds of some historic site and there was a small cabin that had served as a lawyer's office. The tour guide and other people had left and it was just us four in there. My gma looked at us narrow-eyed and said "is there a lawyer in the house?", made sure everyone was gone and then let rip with a huge, loud fart. We all laughed until we CRIED...we couldn't breathe, we were SCREAMING with laughter, people came back in and looked at us like we were nuts. (We are one of THOSE families where gas is always, always funny). So now, for well over 30 years, at family gatherings, if someone has to fart, all they have to say is "is there a lawyer in the house?" and let fly and we all die laughing and remember my wonderful gma. :D

On a related note, Teri looks like letting a good loud one rip would do her some good. I wonder if she ever HAS farted.

[nausicaa]

Aside from the insight into Teri's personality, I think this post also gives good insight into how the scheduling works for the adult children. Technically, they are supposed to be free to make their own schedules now they are adults and yet, clearly, the parents are still controling who does what when, even down to the amount of time spent at the Auntie's park.

It's really weird to think that 33 year old Sarah can't talk with her sister-in-law on her own and set up a time to hang out with the kids. It has to be run through Teri. God these people are so weird.

[socalrules]

It must be frightening to be on such a strict schedule for every aspect of your life . Not just fear of Steve's reaction but I wonder if they are afraid bad things will happen if they don't keep to the schedule. Maybe they think God will be angry. There really is no reason for these unemployed adults to have anything other than a loose schedule, if at all. They don't have anywhere to be, no plans, no friends to schedule in, so I don't see the point of a strict schedule other than control.

[PennySycamore]

I have a copy of And Tango Makes Three to share with my grandchildren.

My adult daughters still talk about the weeks that they spent during the summers at my mom and dad's house. It is clearly a cherished memory for them. I hope that my grandchildren will have the same kind of memories of time spent with their grandparents. I know a few weeks ago when we went to Myrtle Beach I was the one who spent a lot of time at water's edge watching after them. I cannot fathom wanting to spend all the hours you can with the grandkids.

[SPHASH]

I'm glad all of you have good memories of your grandmas cuz I don't. My mom's mom died when I was two and my dad's mom paid very little attention to me, clearly favored my brothers over me then wondered why I was rude to her.