Duggars By the Dozen - General Discussion -14

[calimojo]

Yes, it was one of the earlier episodes. To the best of my recollection, it went like this: The Bates family comes down to visit, and they're all in some store together. Jim Bob decides it would be ~hilarious~ to have someone (can't remember who, probably Josh because he sucks) take off in the van with a few of the Bates kids, and tell Kelly and Gil that someone just abducted their children. I am not shitting you. This actually happened. I'm looking at the episode list right now, and I'm thinking it might be episode 5 or 6 of Season 1 but I'm not sure.

You know, I watched that somewhat recently and when I saw it this time, I honestly think the Bates were in on the joke from the beginning. I think it was a staged event to make JB seem like a zany guy. Having seen more of the Bates Family since their show on UP, I think Kelly Bates is a somewhat better Actress that is Michelle Duggar, and I think she was acting in that scene.

I am very skeptical of pretty much any thing on that show being genuine and spontaneous. If Kelly for one minute really believed that her kids were gone, she would have been in hysterics. Unlike MoTY Michelle, Kelly actually seems more connected to her kids, and I think she would have been really visibly shaken and I think Gil would not have tolerated his wife being upset like that. If I recall, Kelly was pregnant at that time as well. I also think that Kelly would have had a harder time 'staying sweet' when the whole gag was revealed.

Remember when little Jackson was lost at the airport? Michelle couldn't even be bothered to get up and go look for him and Jana is the one who comforted him when he was found. I think if that had been Kelly, in stead, she would have been in a panic.

I know they are believers of the same terribly stuff, but I absolutely believe that Kelly is connected to her kids much more so than Michelle, and I think Gil is as well. He is always carrying around the two little ones, letting them crawl up on his shoulders and such. We see JB carry his kids now and again, but he is still stiff and awkward with them. ( that being said, I actually think JB is more connected to the kids than Michelle is, at least some of them)

[singsingsing]

I'm not sure she'd fly into hysterics as soon as someone said, "Hey, someone drove off in the van with your kids" especially if they seemed relatively calm. You're going to be shocked, then disbelieving, then trying to mentally process the situation, and I think by that point Jim Bob had admitted it was a joke. Jim Bob is nasty and thoughtless enough to pull something like that, for sure.

If it was all faked for the show, it means that TLC for some reason thought it would be a hilarious gag to make it look like a woman was led to believe that her children were kidnapped, and that the Duggars, her dear friends, the protagonists of the show, were the perpetrators. And the Duggars agreed and went along with this. I mean that's hardly better than it being real, and Kelly not knowing.

I would not put anything past TLC, though. And I mean anything. Whichever episode it was at the end of the last series, when they interviewed some of the producers - I can't remember what that guy's name is, but he came across as a total sociopath. He was absolutely terrible.

[calimojo]

I can't remember his name either, but he was very callous about his decision to put Josie's poop accident on the show. No thought whatsoever that when Josie is about 12 she will be mortified by that.

Could be he is fed up with the Duggars and does things like that to get back at them, but if so, why not take it out on JB or M as there is not doubt endless footage of them being giant tools. Kids should be off limits for really personal and embarrassing info. What's next? A special episode when Josie goes through puberty?

[singsingsing]

Not only was he callous, he was laughing about it. That's the thing that bothered me the most. He was finding some sort of sadistic pleasure in this little girl's future shame. It was sick.

[YoshiCat]

Oh, don't get me started on the mega funeral for Jubilee. My daughter lost a baby also... and it was a quick trip to the funeral home and that was that. No service, no 1000 guests, just mom, dad and grandma. That Duggerama over the top production was really... weird.

I have to think that was done for the TV cameras, so they could make a big "pro-life" statement. They gave out photos of the fetus!! Who does that??!?! They wanted to be able to say "look, it's a hand! That means it a real baby, not a fetus."

I can understand a woman mourning a miscarriage and even having some sort of service if that will help her to feel better. But who would want to do this with people beyond your very closest family and friends?

I've never been pregnant, but I can't imagine having a large crowd around after a miscarriage and having to talk to a large number of people. I can think of about 6 people I would want around, no more.

I felt like a piece of my heart had been ripped out when our cat died and I just wanted to be alone with my husband and cry privately. An actual child that I grew in my body? That would be so much worse, the last thing I would want is a crowd.

And just to be clear, I'm not in any way trying to imply that a pet dying is comparable to a miscarriage. I'm saying that I felt so horrible after something that is so much less than a miscarriage.

[MatthewDuggar]

I pretty much stopped watching 19kac at the point of the Jubilee fiasco. Televising the funeral was the icing on the cake. The worst part is when Josh tweeted "I just finished burying my dead sister" or something along those lines.

I'm also not downplaying the loss of a pregnancy/baby. For the Duggars it was the perfect political statement.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Wasn't it Scott Enlow who said he had no issues showing Josie pooping on-air?

I have a question about the Jill and Derick courtship. So I keep hearing that these two didn't spark on their own, and that this was a guy Jim Bob selected for Jill. I thought I followed that arc of the show pretty closely, but must have missed this. Did JB just introduce them, or did he push them together and insist Jill had to be with Derick? How did all that play out, exactly?`

I never got the impression that they were forced together by Jim Bob, but maybe I missed something somewhere.

Edited for tense

ETA2: Okay, so I see that some of the Jill courtship story has been covered in the Jessa Duggar Seewald thread. I must have completely missed the part where Jill was begging for daddy to give her a husband. :shock:

[prayawaythefundie]

Wasn't it Scott Enlow who said he had no issues showing Josie pooping on-air?

I have a question about the Jill and Derick courtship. So I keep hearing that these two didn't spark on their own, and that this was a guy Jim Bob selected for Jill. I thought I followed that arc of the show pretty closely, but must have missed this. Did JB just introduce them, or did he push them together and insist Jill had to be with Derick? How did all that play out, exactly?`

I never got the impression that they were forced together by Jim Bob, but maybe I missed something somewhere.

Edited for tense

I don't think they were forced but it's not every day in fundieland that a father introduces a sinlge man of marriageable age to just one of his adult daughters, is it? It think the introduction was at least a big hint about Daddy's wishes.

[SassyPants]

I remember there was an episode where JB said that once he got to know Derick, after the prayer partner request, he could see that Derick had a lot of commonalities with Jill and would be perfect for Jill, and at that time, he, JB, approached Jill abut Derick.

Does anyone else remember that statement from JB?

[ClaraOswin]

I have to think that was done for the TV cameras, so they could make a big "pro-life" statement. They gave out photos of the fetus!! Who does that??!?! They wanted to be able to say "look, it's a hand! That means it a real baby, not a fetus."

I can understand a woman mourning a miscarriage and even having some sort of service if that will help her to feel better. But who would want to do this with people beyond your very closest family and friends?

I've never been pregnant, but I can't imagine having a large crowd around after a miscarriage and having to talk to a large number of people. I can think of about 6 people I would want around, no more.

I felt like a piece of my heart had been ripped out when our cat died and I just wanted to be alone with my husband and cry privately. An actual child that I grew in my body? That would be so much worse, the last thing I would want is a crowd.

And just to be clear, I'm not in any way trying to imply that a pet dying is comparable to a miscarriage. I'm saying that I felt so horrible after something that is so much less than a miscarriage.

In general, I would never judge someone by how they grieve. Some people want to be alone. Others want to be surrounded by people.

But in Michelle's case...I think it was mostly for the show and the pro-life statement.

[MatthewDuggar]

I remember there was an episode where JB said that once he got to know Derick, after the prayer partner request, he could see that Derick had a lot of commonalities with Jill and would be perfect for Jill, and at that time, he, JB, approached Jill abut Derick.

Does anyone else remember that statement from JB?

Yes, JB definitely "introduced" them. After they Skyped for a while was when she fell in love with him.

[Lovebug]

Totally random fun fact - I just got finished catching up on reading through the comments on assorted Duggar family Facebook pages. Their fans use the words precious, praying, blessed and thankful/grateful like there is no tomorrow. I'm calling "amazing" the word that rounds out the top five.

The ass kissing via adjectives (and prayer) is literally off the charts.

[AmericanAmigo]

Totally random fun fact - I just got finished catching up on reading through the comments on assorted Duggar family Facebook pages. Their fans use the words precious, praying, blessed and thankful/grateful like there is no tomorrow. I'm calling "amazing" the word that rounds out the top five.

The ass kissing via adjectives (and prayer) is literally off the charts.

I went over to read a little. I got bored because it's mostly the same thing over and over. A few comments stating how it's not really a good thing but mostly So grateful, amazing, lost without your family on tv. Oh brother. If they are lost without the Duggars then we are going to hell in a hand basket. There will always be trash tv and that is what this whole Duggar brand is becoming. I do feel bad for the younger ones who have no choice or adults trapped by the cult and their upbringing. When I first heard of the Duggar show I thought it was pretend and they were from toon town in Disneyland. Lol. But they are real and their cult is not healthy at all.

[vtsunshine]

After watching the golfing trip and JB asking about "turning you on" it just popped into my head JB watching his older girls "mother" his younger ones. Something a wife would do.

[vtsunshine]

Sorry double post

[YoshiCat]

I remember there was an episode where JB said that once he got to know Derick, after the prayer partner request, he could see that Derick had a lot of commonalities with Jill and would be perfect for Jill, and at that time, he, JB, approached Jill abut Derick.

Does anyone else remember that statement from JB?

I rewatched that episode recently and yes, that's how it was explained. Somehow I doubt that's how it happened, that one day it just occurred to JB that this guy he happened to know would hit it off with his daughter. His well does he even know his daughter?

My theories are that Derick contacted JB because he was interested in Jill but JB said that he would have to get to know Derick first so they became prayer partners.

Or Jill was begging for a husband and Derick was a single guy in the right age range that JB happened to know.

Remember, these are people who look at the first rush of infatuation and decide it's God telling them to marry the person.

[devoe364]

Oh, don't get me started on the mega funeral for Jubilee. My daughter lost a baby also... and it was a quick trip to the funeral home and that was that. No service, no 1000 guests, just mom, dad and grandma. That Duggerama over the top production was really... weird.

I've lost two. There wasn't even a trip to the funeral home for me, as it was too early in the pregnancy each team (9 weeks and 6 weeks), so the mega funeral never made any sense to me.

[Wenny]

I've lost two. There wasn't even a trip to the funeral home for me, as it was too early in the pregnancy each team (9 weeks and 6 weeks), so the mega funeral never made any sense to me.

My friend lost to a 2 term pregnancies. The first at 40 weeks and another at 36 weeks. We brought her food and I took her milk to the hospital. A small funeral was for each baby.

[St.Clara]

:pink-shock: If they are comfortable doing/saying that in front of their children while cameras are rolling, what do you think the kids saw and heard at home? Add "women need to cover up because men can't control their urges" and "Even though men can't control themselves, they're still in charge of everything" to that mess and as Drala said, this sheds light on Josh's issues. [snipped]

I have always found it so weird that they would accuse girls of defrauding who, for example, happened to wear pants and would claim the reason for why this was so bad was that the girls were allegedly showing the boys "something that they then can´t have". But on the other hand, they are not at all ashamed themselves of demonstrating quite openly and cheerfully to their daughter and her boyfriend what they "can´t have". I mean, it does takes a fundie´s lively imagination to immediately think of sex if you see a girl wearing pants. But, watching JB´s behaviour at the golf course, it takes hardly any imagination at all... So if anybody actually accused JB of "defrauding" Jessa and Ben, I´d well be able to see their point.

Why is "showing what they cannot have" evil if some random girl does it but perfectly fine if JB does it?!

(Well, ok, I think I do know why: it´s because the rules are made for the sole purpose of restricting those lowly females and, also to some degree, the younger males. But if those same rules seriously get in the way of the patriarchs´wishes, they simply don´t apply. Imo, this also serves to explain Josh´s behaviour - he probably thought, with his wife and kids and his high-paying Washington job, he was already enjoying patriarch status...

Besides, what headships do cannot ever be wrong anyway - ´cause they are like Jesus, aren´t they?)

[SilverBeach]

Yes, JB definitely "introduced" them. After they Skyped for a while was when she fell in love with him.

I recall Jill sitting down with JB and Jchelle and saying that there was this guy but he is in Nepal and can she/they go meet him. It seemed to me that Jill and Derrick had already skyped together. I don't recall JB introducing them, doesn't mean it didn't happen I just don't recall it happening that way.

[MatthewDuggar]

I recall Jill sitting down with JB and Jchelle and saying that there was this guy but he is in Nepal and can she/they go meet him. It seemed to me that Jill and Derrick had already skyped together. I don't recall JB introducing them, doesn't mean it didn't happen I just don't recall it happening that way.

The show made it appear that way even though JB explained the whole thing. It was almost as if we were to assume that he had been randomly chatting with various guys but now suddenly she going to announce she was in love with Derrick. We also know that through their own admission, they monitor all of the internet/skype interactions the girls have.

[singsingsing]

Jim Bob most definitely introduced them. They've told the story in detail many times.

[ClaraOswin]

I recall Jill sitting down with JB and Jchelle and saying that there was this guy but he is in Nepal and can she/they go meet him. It seemed to me that Jill and Derrick had already skyped together. I don't recall JB introducing them, doesn't mean it didn't happen I just don't recall it happening that way.

The story was told over and over again on TLC. The way it's told by JB/Derick/Jill = Derick contacted JB to be his prayer partner (he was in Nepal already.) And then after a while JB was like "Hmm...Jill would really get along with this guy." So he introduced them over Skype.

[lizzybee]

I won a custom post count title and that phrase was the first thing that came to my mind

Oh for heaven's sake, that did NOT make it to my TV. I will never unsee this. :pink-shock: :ew: :ew:

[Rescinded and Mended]

Yeah, I did see those episodes during the Nepal arc, and remembered that Jim Bob sensed that Jill and Derick would be a good fit, which was why he introduced them to each other.

I didn't see anything wrong with that in and of itself, but there have been a couple of posters in other threads that mentioned Jill being indecisive about Derick during the Nepal trip, and suggesting that Jim Bob pushed her into the relationship, so that was why I asked if I'd missed something.

To me, they looked like they were happy. Jim Bob, on the other hand, looked miserable at certain points, like when he and Jill were eating the food and when he watched Jill and Derick walk ahead of him.