Magnolia Pearl: What in the World?

[JMarie]

Every time I check out MP, I want to drive down to Texas with a car full of irons and fix all those wrinkled clothes.  So many wrinkles.  It's okay, though, because I'm up-to-date with my tetanus shot.

[Howl]

We'll be driving past the Magnolia Pearl "flagship store" tomorrow.  After my initial visit, I have no desire to ever return. 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Howl

[Howl]

Heh. It's still there,  a hobo Gothic, nouveau trash,  bad-acid-trip nightmare moldering away in the trees.  They do have a new extremely glitzy digital sign on the highway.  Maybe they're hoping that someone drunk enough from wine tasting at one of the 50+ wineries in the vicinity will buy some of their rags. 

[AmazonGrace]

Dorcas may have felt like her heart was empty inside but at least her hat wasn't hollow.

[AmazonGrace]

"Let them eat laundry," Marie Antoinette said, hoping that the hungry masses wouldn't find her donut stash under her wig. 

After a long and exhausting search, Fountainette had found her shoes, but she had no idea where her feet might be.

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Courtjesterina had really loved her piggy ears but according to the fashion critic's feedback they were so last season.

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Belle and the Beast had been able to leave but unfortunately Lumiere got left behind.

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[AmazonGrace]

If you're looking for Jesus, they said. He's in your pants, they said.

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I need Jesus because it's going to take a miracle to dry my hair.

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Fragolina had read that ladies should have a thigh gap but somehow hers had slipped and become an ankle gap.

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Hey, YOU try doing ballet when the floor is lava and you found someone's dead hair.

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"Yes, I think your vagina is probably somewhere under all that."

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[Howl]

Dirty feet, and I can't emphasize this enough, are so on-brand for that photo shoot. 

That this business is still going creeps me out, and going deeper in their rags to...well just rags aesthetic, I just do not get it.  Who is buying this disgusting shit for insanely outrageous prices?  It's an enduring mystery on par with the Arndts. 

And thanks for the update!   Really, the Magnolia Pearl whack makes me feel so normal!  

 

Edited December 21, 2020 by Howl

[AmazonGrace]

If you have a thing for dirty feet you will love these shoes that have several strains of mould and mutant bacteria growing on them.

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My other pair got antibiotics and they're not half so cute.

 

That time I couldn't find the holes in my sleeves and just tore holes in the sides of my shirt.

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That time I got shot in the head (but they missed)

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Edited December 21, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[Howl]

On 12/21/2020 at 4:29 PM, AmazonGrace said:

you will love these shoes

I'm confused. Are Ragzwilla's legs on backwards?

[Alisamer]

I would absolutely love a band with this aesthetic, I think. Or a circus. Some sort of carnival situation, maybe. 

Very expensive clothing? Not so much.

I love the captions for the photos though. 

Also, is the Jesus skirt thing actually just that long shirt tied on like an apron?

Edited December 23, 2020 by Alisamer

[AmazonGrace]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

I'm confused. Are Ragzwilla's legs on backwards?

I had cropped the photo to focus on the infection site shoes, in the entire thing she sits looking like she desperately needs to pee.

@AlisamerThey would absolutely rock the costuming and the stage design in some sort of gothic play. A bit too expensive for painting the cabin far away from the civilization in any old rags..

Edited December 23, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[AmazonGrace]

HOLIDAYS ACCORDING TO MAGNOLIA PEARL, THE LOVER'S DAY EDITION

 

 This is Jawndice, pictured here preparing to cheat on her Valentine's Day themed spelling bee.

 

Last Valentine's Day, she brought the heart and her date brought the moth:

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Jawndice fell in love with a quiet sort of person who responds to her every move.

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Sometimes Jawndice likes to go out wearing only one of her legs.

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If Jawndice has trouble sleeping there's only one  thing that helps: her brightest pentagram.

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Her emotional support pentagram can make her smile any time.

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Natural remedies are the best: beard lichen helps to cure sore throat.

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Sometimes she feels so extremely white she wonders if she is a ghost that will fade into the light of day.

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Edited February 12, 2021 by AmazonGrace

[JermajestyDuggar]

This is literally the most normal outfit I’ve ever seen on MP. I would have worn an outfit like this at one point when I was a teen. 

[TheWayTheWorldWorks]

WW girl would love that jacket. Funky and mustard color, she's all in. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/25/2015 at 8:31 AM, Fascinated said:

 

 

I don't understand your difficulty here. Clearly, you can go almost anywhere, and do just about everything, in this outfit. For example:

 

You can go to bed.

 

You can win hide and seek if there are some voluminous drapes nearby.

 

You can star in a commercial promoting irons. Or hair brushes. Or even mirrors.

 

You can audition to be a cartoon character as you already have the shoe part of the costume.

 

You can also, if necessary, kick the shit out of someone with said shoes.

 

So, handy, versatile outfit.

How to get in bed wearing a tomato cage?

[danvillebelle]

Batshit crazy Magnolia Pearl lady is still at her shenanigans.  

Newest scam - offset print and a splatter of paint, worth a 300% mark-up?  You betcha.

I see a new hashtag on the horizon - #tutusandtophatsforjesus

Nothing accessorizes the horror of the crucifixion like harlequin pants and untied grungy boots, amirite?  

(admins please forgive/and or/correct me for not hiding these, I am severely technically challenged and can't remember how to do it)

 

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Jesus, Mary and Holy St. Joseph (pun intended) the lengths this bitch will go to in order to make a buck.  

Those are the glass devotional candles that cost exactly $1.00 at any dollar store or Wal Mart.  She slapped a label on them and is charging $45. 

 

 

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Edited July 21, 2021 by Coconut Flan
Spoiler for multiple photos.

[Howl]

On 7/21/2021 at 7:37 AM, danvillebelle said:

Jesus, Mary and Holy St. Joseph (pun intended) the lengths this bitch will go to in order to make a buck.  

Those are the glass devotional candles that cost exactly $1.00 at any dollar store or Wal Mart.  She slapped a label on them and is charging $45. 

These are the "holy schmoley let's get the heck out of here, I'm totally creeped out, but we really SHOULD buy something for rubbernecking this s**t show, look, there's a candle!"  Compared to the $175 raggedy ass T shirt, it seems cheap. 

[AmazonGrace]

Forsythia had seven years of bad luck because she tried, and failed, to avoid stepping on the lines.

Like Katy Perry, she ran hot n'cold: Her shoulders were hot and her tummy was freezing, and she had not yet figured out why.

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Homeless since November, she was squatting in the abandoned building and wondering how long her food would last

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When her tragic past in the circus threatened her self confidence she trusted the flamingo asana.

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"Look mama, I have cloven hooves

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This  is ASL for "too fly for a white guy"

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"Hey, my eyes are up here," Forsythia told herself.

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There is a pile of something on the floor but Forsythia thought it was better to strike an artistic pose than to inquire too closely.

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Forsythia filled the bathtub with  blood only during selected religious holidays.

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[AmazonGrace]

Forsythia had practiced her sassy social media pose for ages but there was something wrong with all the photos. Then she realized that suspenders would help keep her pants up.

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Maybe this would be the dress Forsythia could fly with.

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When Forsythia could not see  it was really not very easy to tell the circus animals from the barn door.

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But eventually she was able to recognize the  python.

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[AmazonGrace]

Holyanna had never learned to read but now she was overjoyed that she was finally going to school. She might finally find out who had sent her these postcards.

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She had wanted to go before, but her seven aunties had needed the good school shoes. But now, it would be her turn to wear them on Fridays.

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Mama was so happy for her she put some fresh orange peels in her hair to celebrate.

Holyanna was already feeling a little smug, but that is allowed when you have ruffles.

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The cat thought she should change her deodorant.

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Holyanna prayed that she'd be able to sign her name in the wedding registry. 

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She had wanted a fabulous wedding dress but in a tragic mistake, she wore the layered cake instead.

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For headgear, she decided to wear the flower girl's basket. The cat disapproved of the color scheme. 

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Holyanna was looking for the shelf on the elf, reverently, and respectfully, but with no luck whatsoever.

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Day 5. Her disguise was good. Everyone still thought that she was wallpaper.

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Sadly, Holyanna could never find her strawberries.

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[MamaJunebug]

Y’all are hilarious. 

That said, I itch!  I itch!!!

[FiveAcres]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

Y’all are hilarious. 

That said, I itch!  I itch!!!

I have that same reaction. I also feel like I've had to sort some old drapes and curtains that were stored without being washed first. 

[clueliss]

Clearly the miss Havisham threw up all over the place aesthetic it’s not for me.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Ok I’m embarrassed that I like the cat purse. 
 

😻

[Howl]

On 7/9/2022 at 6:34 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’m embarrassed that I like the cat purse. 

😻

Don't be embarrassed; it's adorable!