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FundieWatcher

Pastor commits suicide citing Ashley Madison.

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FundieWatcher

This has been a worry of mine. I can't tell you how this breaks my heart. My family has been effected by suicide and major depression. While I'm not a religious gal, I know most religious persons are genuinely good people. It is difficult to feel for those like Josh Duggar and Sproul because they weren't humble, compassionate people. But someone like this man represent the people caught in the hack that were attempting to almost medicate themselves will risky behavior. They might have believed something exciting would make them happy. I just don't think the school would have seen it that way. Even though the circumstances are awkward, no one wants to embarrass the family more, I would hope the college could use this to help their students in their studies on how to council those with depression.

John Gibson was a pastor and seminary professor. When he wasn't teaching at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, one of his favorite pastimes was fixing cars...In his suicide note, Gibson chronicled his demons. He also mentioned Ashley Madison. "He talked about depression. He talked about having his name on there, and he said he was just very, very sorry," Christi said. "What we know about him is that he poured his life into other people, and he offered grace and mercy and forgiveness to everyone else, but somehow he couldn't extend that to himself."

money.cnn.com/2015/09/08/technology/ashley-madison-suicide/index.html

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Howl

This is so sad and part of a larger issue in fundiedom for those whose inside doesn't match the public religious persona and there is no way to truly reconcile the two.

The only avenue is shame and guilt, guilt, guilt.

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Wine time!
nokidsmom

This shows how the hack goes far beyond simply exposing cheaters. When people are taking their lives the families have to live with even more devastation.

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Jana814
This shows how the hack goes far beyond simply exposing cheaters. When people are taking their lives the families have to live with even more devastation.

Agree!

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Coco

It is sad, that people with obvious struggles can't just humble themselves enough to say, i need to go in a different direction and quit living a lie before it destroys the people i love. But in this case he only loved himself, for years. Intentional cheating with partners while still pretending to be a holy leader committed to family values, followed by giving up instead of facing the music, that's a sign of years of denial and not doing the healthy things to figure out how to cope. All along while he was sneaking his shit he knew this is going to ruin everything for his family, and he should have stopped or slowly transitioned into a non-religious person. Religion drives people into corners and then condemns away the ability to get back out. This guy chose to bail in the worst possible way, a way that will scar everyone he knew for the rest of their lives, because a lot of religious people think suicide is an unforgivable sin.

Pastors are some of the most pathological people out there, it's proven. Just look at the expose John Oliver recently did on blood sucking mega-ministries. There's nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade. This guy was a selfish hypocrite. I hope his family can see that and that they don't blame themselves for anything. Either they'll keep on with their religious crutches and be the same shells of hurting people pretending to be fine, or they'll come to their senses and realize being authentic is totally okay and break away from those stupid religious fronts they've had to keep up their whole life. Why do you think pastor's kids are some of the most rebellious in the first place. Running away from living a lie. I know a lot of ex-religious people who are still spiritual. Take away the hypocrisy but keep the faith. There's a way to live with believing faith in the love and light in the world, without hurting other people. This guy should have gone into counseling with his wife years ago, and maybe just gotten himself medicated or decided to go their separate ways if he couldn't stay faithful, and if he was really Christ-like he should have tried to live for others even if he felt unsatisfied. Pride destroys everything. He was up on a stage telling people there's always hope and that God loves everyone, well then he should have proved it and humbled himself as a broken person and couldn't keep on pretending to be what he wasn't. He should have been humble enough to know that he could step aside and just be a normal joe with mistakes in his past. Not bail on them.

i'm angry for the family's sake for number one having to hide this secret since it's probably been obvious in some ways for years and number two that even on a liberal forum we are kinda defending scum. Yeah it's sad but somewhere along the way he could have taken a different path. The blame is all on him for his choices.

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blessalessi

I think it is a tragic situation for the family.

I don't condone hacking. However I think the bigger problem for this pastor is that it didn't just expose marital cheating, it exposed that the foundations of his life were based on a lie. He would have had to humble and examine himself in so many more ways than his marital infidelity.

I'm sorry he didn't have the resources to carry on and that his family have to suffer the consequences.

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linnea27
I think it is a tragic situation for the family.

I don't condone hacking. However I think the bigger problem for this pastor is that it didn't just expose marital cheating, it exposed that the foundations of his life were based on a lie. He would have had to humble and examine himself in so many more ways than his marital infidelity.

I'm sorry he didn't have the resources to carry on and that his family have to suffer the consequences.

Yeah. That.

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Firiel
It is sad, that people with obvious struggles can't just humble themselves enough to say, i need to go in a different direction and quit living a lie before it destroys the people i love. But in this case he only loved himself, for years. Intentional cheating with partners while still pretending to be a holy leader committed to family values, followed by giving up instead of facing the music, that's a sign of years of denial and not doing the healthy things to figure out how to cope. All along while he was sneaking his shit he knew this is going to ruin everything for his family, and he should have stopped or slowly transitioned into a non-religious person. Religion drives people into corners and then condemns away the ability to get back out. This guy chose to bail in the worst possible way, a way that will scar everyone he knew for the rest of their lives, because a lot of religious people think suicide is an unforgivable sin.

Pastors are some of the most pathological people out there, it's proven. Just look at the expose John Oliver recently did on blood sucking mega-ministries. There's nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade. This guy was a selfish hypocrite. I hope his family can see that and that they don't blame themselves for anything. Either they'll keep on with their religious crutches and be the same shells of hurting people pretending to be fine, or they'll come to their senses and realize being authentic is totally okay and break away from those stupid religious fronts they've had to keep up their whole life. Why do you think pastor's kids are some of the most rebellious in the first place. Running away from living a lie. I know a lot of ex-religious people who are still spiritual. Take away the hypocrisy but keep the faith. There's a way to live with believing faith in the love and light in the world, without hurting other people. This guy should have gone into counseling with his wife years ago, and maybe just gotten himself medicated or decided to go their separate ways if he couldn't stay faithful, and if he was really Christ-like he should have tried to live for others even if he felt unsatisfied. Pride destroys everything. He was up on a stage telling people there's always hope and that God loves everyone, well then he should have proved it and humbled himself as a broken person and couldn't keep on pretending to be what he wasn't. He should have been humble enough to know that he could step aside and just be a normal joe with mistakes in his past. Not bail on them.

i'm angry for the family's sake for number one having to hide this secret since it's probably been obvious in some ways for years and number two that even on a liberal forum we are kinda defending scum. Yeah it's sad but somewhere along the way he could have taken a different path. The blame is all on him for his choices.

I agree with most of the things you've said here.

I think it's sad that this man killed himself. I really do. But that doesn't make him a good person or a victim of his religion. From what I can see, he was a liar and a hypocrite, not a genuinely good person like the OP seems to imply. It is still very sad that he never developed the coping skills he needed to make it through something like this, and I'm genuinely sorry that he died.

I liken it to my ex, who was also a lying, cheating tool who went through a lot of depression when being (somewhat) forced to deal with the consequences. I would be terribly sorry for him and sad if he died, especially by suicide. I don't want anyone to have to deal with that kind of pain, even if the pain ultimately comes from a place of narcissistic obsession with one's own image (as I truly think it would have for him). But if he did kill himself, he wouldn't be a victim of the religion he used to justify treating me like shit. And he wouldn't magically transform into a good person.

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Cleopatra7
I think it is a tragic situation for the family.

I don't condone hacking. However I think the bigger problem for this pastor is that it didn't just expose marital cheating, it exposed that the foundations of his life were based on a lie. He would have had to humble and examine himself in so many more ways than his marital infidelity.

I'm sorry he didn't have the resources to carry on and that his family have to suffer the consequences.

The problem we see with all the religious conservative men who have been caught up in this scandal is that they want to preach "family values" on one hand while sneaking around on the other. While I also don't approve of hacking, these men were playing a dangerous game that probably would have caught up to them anyway, hack or no hack. The fact that Josh is a fairly low level celebrity is probably what allowed him to cheat for so long without anyone noticing (that and the fact that Anna seems rather clueless, which made it easy for Josh to fool her). These fundie families value appearance over substance, and would rather impress us heathens with a false image than get real with themselves about their own dysfunction. If this pastor who committed suicide had used his outing to be honest with himself and his family, he probably would have come through it as a better and more self-aware person. Instead, it seems like he couldn't face up to what he had done and took the easy way out.

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TXGirlInAMaterialWorld

I feel very bad for this man's family. It would have been tough to overcome the issue of infidelity- but not impossible. He probably would have lost his job, his standing in the community and it would have affected his relationships with his family. But now his family has to deal with the pain with losing him altogether. Very sad.

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Depressed
wotdancer
I feel very bad for this man's family. It would have been tough to overcome the issue of infidelity- but not impossible. He probably would have lost his job, his standing in the community and it would have affected his relationships with his family. But now his family has to deal with the pain with losing him altogether. Very sad.

Thank you for putting my thoughts into words...so sad.

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Black Aliss
I feel very bad for this man's family. It would have been tough to overcome the issue of infidelity- but not impossible. He probably would have lost his job, his standing in the community and it would have affected his relationships with his family. But now his family has to deal with the pain with losing him altogether. Very sad.

IMO, it wasn't being outed for infidelity, whether actual or just fantasized, that he couldn't deal with. It was his pride, pride in being so much better than any person of the world, that did him in. Proverbs 16:18. I am truly sorry for his family and friends.

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FloraKitty35

What a selfish thing to do to his family. They get to live with a lifetime of "what if I had done so and so". Hopefully, his family get some professional grief counselling and not have what happened haunt the rest of their lives.

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Jana814
I feel very bad for this man's family. It would have been tough to overcome the issue of infidelity- but not impossible. He probably would have lost his job, his standing in the community and it would have affected his relationships with his family. But now his family has to deal with the pain with losing him altogether. Very sad.

Agree!! It just so sad. Does anyone know how many kids this guy had.

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Kailash

I have a hard time thinking that suicide is selfish. It seems to me that someone has to be in a really terrible place mentally to take their own life. It seems selfish to me to ask them to keep living for my sake, if they are really and truly so miserable they want to die. I feel like after death they're finally at peace, and that may not be correct. I have no experience with suicide, just my own feelings of depression. I would NEVER encourage someone to commit suicide, and would do everything I could to get them treatment and help. I just like to think that I wouldn't blame them consciously if they chose to end their life here.

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FundieWatcher
Agree!! It just so sad. Does anyone know how many kids this guy had.

Another article mentions two adult children.

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Jana814

Another article mentions two adult children.

Thanks!

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