Kristina's youtube channel

[formergothardite]

Kristina(Everything Nice, FJ member name 3andcounting) has a youtube channel now. First off, she doesn't sound anything like I expected. And secondly I always thought she lived way out in the country, but she lives right on a road. Anyway, she has two videos up about the Josh scandal.

I agree with her that this is going to have the most impact on his children. One of these days they are going to grow up and read stories about their dad having violent sex with a porn star, creating accounts on various dating websites and spending two years and a lot of money so he could be guaranteed an affair. No kid should have to do that.

One thing I think, isn't that Josh needs to spend some time getting away and figuring things out, but Anna does, and I haven't seen a lot of Christians talking about how Anna needs to have some space to really think about what she wants to do without any pressure being put on her to forgive and remain married. I've seen a lot of articles praising her for doing the godly thing, but she doesn't need that sort of pressure right now. She doesn't need to be made to feel like leaving Josh is the ungodly option. So, while I actually agree with a lot of what Kristina is saying, I think the focus should be more on how Anna needs the space to decide what she wants to do free of any pressure.

Another thing that her videos reminded me of is that I'm glad I am no longer a Christian and feel any obligation to forgive. Sorry doesn't always make things better and saying sorry doesn't mean that someone deserves forgiveness. I HATED the pressure to forgive people who tossed out a "I'm sorry". An apology isn't an magic eraser that means the person should be forgiven. And in a situation like this where he only apologized after he was caught, I think the apology is even more suspicious. Is he apologizing because he got caught and he has been raised to believe that he must say he is sorry even when he really isn't or is he truly repentant of his actions. If it was true repentance I would think he would have come clean about this before he was forced to do so. When my oldest daughter was little she went through a stage where she thought it was okay to break rules as long as she said she was sorry. And that is kind of how I feel like many(not all) Christians still feel. Like everything should be forgiven as long as a person says they are sorry and that if someone says "No, I can't forgive this." that person is the ungodly one.

So, those are my thoughts. 8-)

https://www.youtube.com/user/jnk0711/videos

[PrairieGirl]

Kristina(Everything Nice, FJ member name 3andcounting) has a youtube channel now. First off, she doesn't sound anything like I expected. And secondly I always thought she lived way out in the country, but she lives right on a road. Anyway, she has two videos up about the Josh scandal.

I agree with her that this is going to have the most impact on his children. One of these days they are going to grow up and read stories about their dad having violent sex with a porn star, creating accounts on various dating websites and spending two years and a lot of money so he could be guaranteed an affair. No kid should have to do that.

One thing I think, isn't that Josh needs to spend some time getting away and figuring things out, but Anna does, and I haven't seen a lot of Christians talking about how Anna needs to have some space to really think about what she wants to do without any pressure being put on her to forgive and remain married. I've seen a lot of articles praising her for doing the godly thing, but she doesn't need that sort of pressure right now. She doesn't need to be made to feel like leaving Josh is the ungodly option. So, while I actually agree with a lot of what Kristina is saying, I think the focus should be more on how Anna needs the space to decide what she wants to do free of any pressure.

Another thing that her videos reminded me of is that I'm glad I am no longer a Christian and feel any obligation to forgive. Sorry doesn't always make things better and saying sorry doesn't mean that someone deserves forgiveness. I HATED the pressure to forgive people who tossed out a "I'm sorry". An apology isn't an magic eraser that means the person should be forgiven. And in a situation like this where he only apologized after he was caught, I think the apology is even more suspicious. Is he apologizing because he got caught and he has been raised to believe that he must say he is sorry even when he really isn't or is he truly repentant of his actions. If it was true repentance I would think he would have come clean about this before he was forced to do so. When my oldest daughter was little she went through a stage where she thought it was okay to break rules as long as she said she was sorry. And that is kind of how I feel like many(not all) Christians still feel. Like everything should be forgiven as long as a person says they are sorry and that if someone says "No, I can't forgive this." that person is the ungodly one.

So, those are my thoughts. 8-)

https://www.youtube.com/user/jnk0711/videos

Thanks for posting. I'll have to check this out at home, since YouTube is blocked at work. I am curious as to how Kristina sounds as well. And I swear that before she and Josh were married, she had posted photos of their house on her old blog and they lived on 3+ acres in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps they have moved since?

And yeah, screw Josh and his need to get away. Sounds like he had plenty of fun on his own, without Anna, during their marriage. I hope when Josh returns from "rehab" that Anna hands him all the kids and tells him she is going to get pampered with the gift that Amy gave her. And the day after that, she gifts him with lovely divorce papers.

I know what you mean about forgiveness, FG. I still have to hear that shit from fundy relatives of mine, and it makes me so glad that I do not live in that world any longer. I am allowed to not forgive people and think the worst of them now and if they think I am hellbound because I am not jumping up and down to forgive someone, oh fucking well.

[formergothardite]

Maybe they have moved, but I thought they lived on several acres of land with a pond.

She says that we have to just take his apology at face value and not read anything into it and not assume that it might not be sincere, and that, IMO, is a huge problem. Growing up fundie I have seen that mindset used so many times to keep people from questioning a person when their repentance and apology might not be sincere. When you do something has awful as Josh has done, then you shouldn't expect anyone to accept your apology until you have worked very hard to prove that you really are repentant and you also have to accept that the people you hurt might be unable to forgive you. That is the consequence of doing something like this, the people you love might not be able to forgive you and they shouldn't be pressured to forgive.

Here is her intro video, for those who are interested.

[bBvideo 560,340:3q5y3k1t]

[/bBvideo]

[memabelle]

Another thing that her videos reminded me of is that I'm glad I am no longer a Christian and feel any obligation to forgive. Sorry doesn't always make things better and saying sorry doesn't mean that someone deserves forgiveness. I HATED the pressure to forgive people who tossed out a "I'm sorry". An apology isn't an magic eraser that means the person should be forgiven. And in a situation like this where he only apologized after he was caught, I think the apology is even more suspicious. Is he apologizing because he got caught and he has been raised to believe that he must say he is sorry even when he really isn't or is he truly repentant of his actions. If it was true repentance I would think he would have come clean about this before he was forced to do so. When my oldest daughter was little she went through a stage where she thought it was okay to break rules as long as she said she was sorry. And that is kind of how I feel like many(not all) Christians still feel. Like everything should be forgiven as long as a person says they are sorry and that if someone says "No, I can't forgive this." that person is the ungodly one.

So, those are my thoughts. 8-)

https://www.youtube.com/user/jnk0711/videos

Absolutely agree. It's like the mentality of a toddler. When my 2 year old daughter misbehaves and I give her a timeout, she immediately apologizes because she thinks this makes everything better and makes the punishment go away. No, my darling. Apology accepted, and I still love you, but you still get a timeout because actions have consequences.

[Buzzard]

She spent some time making that intro!

[Fallgirl30]

In my mind, forgiveness benefits the offended, not the offender. When I forgive, it is for me, so I do not get eaten alive by my anger. At the same time, I may also choose to never speak with that person again, or let them be involved in my life, in any way. I think fundies feel forgiveness wipes the slate clean, which Makes zero sense. I may forgive, but I never forget, and that's just self preservation.

[Jana814]

I I think fundies feel forgiveness wipes the slate clean, which Makes zero sense.

Agree!!