Jessa Duggar Seewald Pt 5 - The Smug is Strong With This One

[SassyPants]

According to instagram pics, Ben and Jessa spoke at a church service in Texas yesterday. I guess they are relationship experts or something. I wonder if they have a few or if they take up love offerings...

Uhhh-like the Gosselins did for so long. I bet they do.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I have to give Jessa a pass on not knowing the Pay it Forward thing because I've not heard of it. I bought the person behind me their drink once because I was afraid I'd gone into drive-through out of turn. To be honest, it makes no sense to me for everyone to keep paying for the next person. Nothing is gained from this. I'd rather the person for whom I purchased a drink actually got a free drink!!

However, I do not give her a pass for her handling of it. She did not show gratitude to the kind person in front. Just Jesus. Typical.

I don't get this either. So many people tout this as being such a nice gesture but all it does is swap out the amount they had already planned for and agreed to spend for an unknown amount based on someone else's order. I don't get what's friendly or generous about that.

Now, someone in line who can't find their wallet, card declined, lost the $20 they thought that had and you quietly cover it...that's nice. That's helping someone out - but just telling me I'm paying someone else's tab is at best a slight savings and at worst an embarrassing situation for someone who just doesn't have more to spend.

This has never happened to me, but I'm a curmudgeon and if it did I would tell the cashier that I'm paying for my own and she can apply their credit to whomever else she likes, but I don't want to be involved.

[Mothership]

I don't get this either. So many people tout this as being such a nice gesture but all it does is swap out the amount they had already planned for and agreed to spend for an unknown amount based on someone else's order. I don't get what's friendly or generous about that.

Now, someone in line who can't find their wallet, card declined, lost the $20 they thought that had and you quietly cover it...that's nice. That's helping someone out - but just telling me I'm paying someone else's tab is at best a slight savings and at worst an embarrassing situation for someone who just doesn't have more to spend.

This has never happened to me, but I'm a curmudgeon and if it did I would tell the cashier that I'm paying for my own and she can apply their credit to whomever else she likes, but I don't want to be involved.

Yes! Thank you Buffy for putting into words what I've always felt. If someone wants to really start a giving chain (and this is what we're talking here)--how about suggesting that everyone adds to a gift card and at the end of the day the gift card(s) get taken to a shelter.

That said, I'm not snarking on you Wotdancer-you're treating the person behind you without expectation of some kind of feel good chain.

[MatthewDuggar]

I like the stories where someone drops like $500 to pay for as many cars the come through as possible. There for a while it seemed like certain businesses started doing it as a publicity stunt however.

Also, I don't think that any of this was supposed to be considered "charity" but more of a "random act of kindness" thing.

[ClaraOswin]

That is entirely possible. Believe it or not, physically I felt better WHILE pregnant than when I wasn't back in the day. Of course now everything hurts because I'm old and my pregnancies were some time ago, but I never could understand how people felt miserable throughout. I adored being pregnant - although there were the obvious challenges, I absolutely loved it.

Eh. I wasn't really fan. But I had nausea almost all day long for 28 weeks. And I had other random issues like kidney stones.

[Edhelfin]

2. If she had mentioned that she DID pay it forward, right now you would all be ripping into her for bragging about paying it.

I am sure there are ways of BRIEFLY mentioning that you paid it forward. No photo ops with the person they buy coffee for, no preaching, just a simple, graceful message to let people know how they responded to the kind act. Yes, she WILL be ripped apart for "lol omg did not have to pay a dime, can u believe it folks, by the way Jesus...."

[Karma]

It's an accepted practice in my city to pay for your coffee plus one "on the board" at various coffee carts. The barista puts a stroke up on the small chalk board. Then, when a homeless person comes by, they ask for one of these coffees. They're probably more grateful than a Duggar, and not likely to brag about it on social media.

[Defrauding Delilah]

Eh. I wasn't really fan. But I had nausea almost all day long for 28 weeks. And I had other random issues like kidney stones.

I never got the opportunity to enjoy being pregnant. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with both pregnancies and when I wasn't puking or thinking about puking I was suffering from crushing exhaustion that was made worse by the fact that I was so malnourished.

I'm no fan of Jessa's but if she's feeling good, good on her. Not every mother gets that experience.

[zygote373]

I've heard about Pay It Forward before, but there's one detail that's always bugged me...if the person behind you hasn't ordered yet, how do you know how much to leave?? Do you just leave $5 and assume any change will go towards a tip for the barista? What if the person behind you orders something fancy and it's not enough?

[SportsgalAnnie]

the rule of thumb I have heard about paying it forward, if you can't cover the next person or are unsure of their order, leave the amount of yours for the person.

[SassyPants]

I wonder if the Seewalds thought that a "fan" paid for their coffee because they recognized the TV stars?????

[Marissap]

I never got the opportunity to enjoy being pregnant. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with both pregnancies and when I wasn't puking or thinking about puking I was suffering from crushing exhaustion that was made worse by the fact that I was so malnourished.

I'm no fan of Jessa's but if she's feeling good, good on her. Not every mother gets that experience.

Ugh me too! With both pregnancies. It was terrible. I still sometimes have nightmares about it.

[Defrauding Delilah]

Ugh me too! With both pregnancies. It was terrible. I still sometimes have nightmares about it.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[MatthewDuggar]

I wonder if the Seewalds thought that a "fan" paid for their coffee because they recognized the TV stars?????

That thought crossed my mind, but no, it was Jesus, remember?? :?

I would love to see Bin spit out the coffee if he heard that those who paid for it were a recently married gay couple in drag that work at the local planned parenthood clinic.

[halcionne]

I've heard about Pay It Forward before, but there's one detail that's always bugged me...if the person behind you hasn't ordered yet, how do you know how much to leave?? Do you just leave $5 and assume any change will go towards a tip for the barista? What if the person behind you orders something fancy and it's not enough?

I have the same question. I don't go to coffee places very often and I just don't understand how this works, unless everyone is using credit/debit cards?

I have occasionally had my bridge toll paid by the car in front of me, but that's a flat fee.

[Ellimenopy]

the rule of thumb I have heard about paying it forward, if you can't cover the next person or are unsure of their order, leave the amount of yours for the person.

I wouldn't intentionally be the asshole that ruins the game for anyone else, but aren't you just giving extra money to the coffee house that way? I'll pay for someone's snack if I can, but I don't see the point of this as a lifestyle.

[Rescinded and Mended]

If memory serves, this isn't the first time Jessa put up the Biblical passage about being saved through faith and not works. Here's my issue: If you had an opportunity to make someone happier and improve the quality of their life through good works, why wouldn't you? She can have all the faith in God she wants; if she thinks faith alone will get her into heaven, then sure, knock yourself out, sweetheart. But why think that having faith alone should exclude works? It's almost as if she's saying, yay, I've got free coffee, but the person doing the buying won't get to heaven that way.

I have no issue with Jessa not knowing about pay it forward, but I would never be the asshole who tells people that the person who just spotted me a free coffee is going to hell anyway by not having enough faith, despite being kind to strangers. Jessa's post, which involved that particular quote from the Bible, came across as backhanded and pompous.

It's this type of crap which (happily) assures me that she'll never succeed in becoming a televangelist.

[Mothership]

Salvation through faith and not through works is one of the basics of the reformed faith (e.g.Luther and Calvin). It absolutely is not meant to be a substitue for doing good works. Instead, it was a response to the idea that someone could buy his/her way to salvation.

I wonder if Jessa has any concept of reformed theology? What am I saying, that would presume that she's acutally been allowed to study theology and not just memorized particular Bible passages.

[doggie]

Salvation through faith and not through works is one of the basics of the reformed faith (e.g.Luther and Calvin). It absolutely is not meant to be a substitue for doing good works. Instead, it was a response to the idea that someone could buy his/her way to salvation.

I

it is the easy way really far harder to do good works.

[RabbitKM]

I've never heard of this concept, but I wonder if a customer expresses surprise to the barista, would the barista then explain it to you so you don't seem like an asshole who's not paying it forward?

[pea3]

I don't post very often but something is really annoying me! What is with the "date night" pictures all the time? Ben and Jessa do not have any kids yet....isn't every freaking night a date night? They don't work so it's not like they haven't seen each other in a few days due to their busy work schedules. I don't know why this annoys me-maybe it's because I have 3 kids who are busy, a husband who works long hours, and I am happy if I see them all for dinner at some point!! [emoji6]

One other note to gripe about, if I did get a date night it better be for a nice dinner and not some frozen yogurt. (My own personal opinion!)

[MatthewDuggar]

What is with the "date night" pictures all the time? Ben and Jessa do not have any kids yet....

It annoys me as well. I have an old coworker who is always posting about her "date nights with hubby". They are both retired and see each other all day everyday. :? People are starting to use it instead of "we went out to dinner" rather than an actual "date" to spend time together from busy lives.

[EmmieJ]

I don't post very often but something is really annoying me! What is with the "date night" pictures all the time? Ben and Jessa do not have any kids yet....isn't every freaking night a date night? They don't work so it's not like they haven't seen each other in a few days due to their busy work schedules. I don't know why this annoys me-maybe it's because I have 3 kids who are busy, a husband who works long hours, and I am happy if I see them all for dinner at some point!! [emoji6]

One other note to gripe about, if I did get a date night it better be for a nice dinner and not some frozen yogurt. (My own personal opinion!)

Maybe for these two, date night is whenever JB opens his wallet and hands over some money to Bin for his week's "work." *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

[QuestioningQuivers]

They may "rarely" eat fast food, but they always eat out...

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I think "date night" is used to remind everyone how much in love they are! Like it is soooo romantic and wonderful to go out to eat yogurt with your husband, especially if you hold hands, but only if you refer to it as "date night." If you don't call it that then it is just going out to eat fast food with your husband.

We have "date night" every Saturday and every other Sunday night because my husband works nights so we don't usually get to eat dinner and watch TV together. We rarely go out because we would just as soon lounge around in bed together yet we have never once referred to it as "date night."