Jessa Duggar Seewald Pt 5 - The Smug is Strong With This One

[MatthewDuggar]

And in Sept

southernshows.com/wor/happening/feature/765

How exciting :roll: Since it's in Orlando I wonder if we'll see selfies of Jessa and Bin at Disney World while they are there? (I'm sure they will go to the Holyland Experience)

[calimojo]

I'm not surprised about Ben acting like a dick. Jessa should take note: a significant other treating waitstaff rudely is a major red flag.

you know, normally I would agree with this, but my own sweet hubby of over 30 years has a tendency to be like that at times. I can't tell you how many arguments and disagreements he and I have had about that, and he is definitely better, but I think only so he doesn't have to listen to me.

And he is honestly one of the nicest kindest and most generous person you would ever meet in any other setting. I always tease him about Karma and I am sure he is going to come back in his next life as a food server of some sort. He treats everyone else, from any walk of life with great respect. He isn't outright mean to food servers, but he definitely exudes a mild 'hostility". Someone who doesn't know him well, might not notice it, but I do because it is so otherwise out of character for him.

As for Ben, he is an immature schmuck. He probably had his undies in a bunch because they had to wait to be seated, or someone posted something mean on his social networks.

If Ben had matched up with a really sharp and assertive woman with a broader sense of the world, Ben might have had the chance to grow and mature, but as it is he is with Jessa, who is of very limited opinions and insight. So I don't see her pushing Ben to grow, or influencing him in a positive way, other than to demand he finds a way to support their growing family. A good couple, will influence and encourage their partners to grow and mature. They will support their partner emotionally and even at times challenge them. I just don't see that happening in the Seewald house.

BTW did anyone see Guinn Seewald's tribute to M on her birthday? Sickening, imo. I had hopes that Guinn was secretly aware their lifestyle was crazy, but it seems not. I wonder what the Duggar's spike their coffee with that seems to get so many who wander into their circle so completely bamboozled?

[lookinggoodforjesus]

There is the possibility that Jessa has turned down speaking engagements as she is giving birth soon. She may not want to do them while she has a baby. Just a thought, though.

We don't really know if her speaking things were all that successful, do we?

[Alexa]

I'm not surprised about Ben acting like a dick. Jessa should take note: a significant other treating waitstaff rudely is a major red flag.

Ben should be careful because with 19 Kids cancelled, interviews and magazine covers drying up, and no real job he just may end up a waiter himself and karma is a bitch. That is if he could show up on time and ever get a work ethic.

[Arete]

One of the many, many ironies in the Fall of The House of Duggar. The leghumpers and Jim Bob used to point out the Duggars were raising the responsible, future taxpayers of the nation with all this extreme sheltering, ATI homeschooling, and narrow indoctrination. Of the at least 8 Duggar kids currently over 18, only 1 seems to have regular employment that would result in the regular contribution of tax money into the system. You can claim one more is going to school. So 70% of the Duggar kids make no contributions to society with tax money, and none are contributing any other talent.

By any standard, that is a complete and total fail in raising productive citizens.

[JessaBlessa]

I read somewhere that Jim Bob treats waitresses badly, also. He won't speak directly to the waitress. He tells Michelle what he wants, and she gives the waitress his order. I don't know how he is with male waiters.

[FJismyheadship]

She didn't mention anything about a tip. I feel like if they had done that or not left anything I would have heard that too. So I suppose they left a normal sized tip. Olive Garden does put it on the bottom of the receipt the suggested tip amounts from 15% to 25% so I would guess they left somethin based on that guideline.

[nastyhobbitses]

Ben should be careful because with 19 Kids cancelled, interviews and magazine covers drying up, and no real job he just may end up a waiter himself and karma is a bitch. That is if he could show up on time and ever get a work ethic.

And not annoy people about their religious beliefs during work hours like Jill apparently plans to do.

I don't know much about Ben's upbringing, but if he has similar time management skills and work ethic to Jessa, he isn't going to go very far in life. Though dude did manage to finish school in a reasonable amount of time (then again, I had one friend in college whom I never saw not utterly, completely stoned, and he managed to wrangle a Bachelor's in four years, plus a steady job as a graphic designer). At any rate, people who are dicks to workers in the service industry have a special circle in hell waiting for them.

[Arrowoftruth]

Ben should be careful because with 19 Kids cancelled, interviews and magazine covers drying up, and no real job he just may end up a waiter himself and karma is a bitch. That is if he could show up on time and ever get a work ethic.

Isn't there a place like hooters but aimed towards straight women? I think he would do well at a topless bar or restaurant where he isn't required to wear a shirt lol Jessa wouldn't allow it tho

[lascuba]

Not at all surprised to hear that Ben was the asshole in public while Jessa was nice. Confirmation bias, etc., but that matches perfectly with my assumptions about them. I've never bought the idea that Jessa is the one in control in that relationship--I've always gotten a bad vibe from Ben and think that once the honeymoon/new baby thrill is over and life get messy, things will get ugly in that house. Anyone who's so "sweet" and saccharine on camera has to be hiding something.

[VTSleeper]

Ben is probably in a bad mood lately. He married into the family thinking it would be a gravy train, but the rug has been pulled out from under him.

[JenniferJuniper]

Not at all surprised to hear that Ben was the asshole in public while Jessa was nice. Confirmation bias, etc., but that matches perfectly with my assumptions about them. I've never bought the idea that Jessa is the one in control in that relationship--I've always gotten a bad vibe from Ben and think that once the honeymoon/new baby thrill is over and life get messy, things will get ugly in that house. Anyone who's so "sweet" and saccharine on camera has to be hiding something.

He's a first born fundie son who probably grew up as entitled and pampered as Smuggar did.

Let's face it, Jessa married him for the same reason Anna married Josh. And probably knew him about as well as Anna knew Josh.

[nokidsmom]

Not at all surprised to hear that Ben was the asshole in public while Jessa was nice. Confirmation bias, etc., but that matches perfectly with my assumptions about them. I've never bought the idea that Jessa is the one in control in that relationship--I've always gotten a bad vibe from Ben and think that once the honeymoon/new baby thrill is over and life get messy, things will get ugly in that house. Anyone who's so "sweet" and saccharine on camera has to be hiding something.

I don't have a sense of who is in control of whom, but I do agree that when reality sets in, and I believe it's setting in now, things are not going to be fun in the Benessa household. Right now there's the expectation of a new baby but with the show now over and scandals, I suspect that both are panicking even now.

[MatthewDuggar]

Surely there is more ca$h to be had for exclusives to People when the little one comes. I have no doubt they will milk it for all they can get. After that, I think any remaining interest will fall pretty fast.

What's sad is that the eyes are really on Jessa and dim Bin seems to think he's a star too, when really he's just along for the ride.

[nokidsmom]

Surely there is more ca$h to be had for exclusives to People when the little one comes. I have no doubt they will milk it for all they can get. After that, I think any remaining interest will fall pretty fast.

What's sad is that the eyes are really on Jessa and dim Bin seems to think he's a star too, when really he's just along for the ride.

I see a People exclusive on the baby as a lasp gasp. There's still enough interest In the Duggars at the moment only because the show has recently been cancelled and the scandals are still somewhat fresh in the public minds. But over time, people will lose interest. By the time the next baby comes, no one is going to care at all. Jessa who? Ben who?

This is certainly not the way Benessa envisioned things were going to go.

[devoe364]

He's a first born fundie son who probably grew up as entitled and pampered as Smuggar did.

Let's face it, Jessa married him for the same reason Anna married Josh. And probably knew him about as well as Anna knew Josh.

Actually I would say that HE and JESSA married each other for the same reason JOSH married Anna - to have sex.

I think Anna actually loved Josh.

[nastyhobbitses]

I don't have a sense of who is in control of whom, but I do agree that when reality sets in, and I believe it's setting in now, things are not going to be fun in the Benessa household. Right now there's the expectation of a new baby but with the show now over and scandals, I suspect that both are panicking even now.

I've always gotten the vibe that Jessa has major "a woman is the neck"-style control over Ben. She knows how to put on the submissive act when it serves her, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was subtly running the roost (or not subtly), but making Ben believe that he's the big man in charge.

That said, the honeymoon is over, and I'd hazard to say that now Jessa is starting to realize that she's married to an unemployed mental teenager who has increasingly harebrained schemes for supporting her (since god forbid she gets a job) and their soon-to-be-born child...and she has to keep pumping out kids while her husband fritters away his time making low-budget YouTube videos that barely bring in enough money to pay for a pizza. She imagined basking in the glow of People and TLC's cameras while Ben mugs and makes corny jokes, and she can look like a modern Madonna, clad in a maxi skirt and her hair blow-dried to look like Kate Middleton. They'd only pay attention to her. She'd get the specials. She's so much more interesting and telegenic than Jill. Josh ruined all of that. Now she's going to have to go back to how it was before TLC came, and she's scared.

Ben is starting to realize that the gravy train is over and done, and aside from an AA that he doesn't really know how to apply to a real-world job, he has little if any skills to get a job with a steady enough income and benefits to support his family, and all his friends his age are out having fun and being good ol' boys, while he has to stay at home posing for selfies and figuring out some way to make money without having to do much of any actual skilled work. He sometimes daydreams about what it would be like if they could have just dated like the people he met at college. They'd be the golden couple, to be sure, but maybe they could just...break up. They could just break up and be done if things didn't work out. Now he's stuck, and while he cares for her a lot and is excited to be a dad, he's not ready at all for this. He thought there'd be enough TLC money, but that's all gone now. What is he going to do?

They're both starting to realize that now that they can't have crazy animalistic monkey sex all the time anymore and certainly won't be able to once they have an infant who doesn't sleep through the night, they're losing a big reason why they got married in the first place. I hope they have a decent amount in common (they seem to) and they can find a comfortable happiness in each other after the honeymoon period is over, but I don't know if they have the maturity to make that happen.

[JenniferJuniper]

Actually I would say that HE and JESSA married each other for the same reason JOSH married Anna - to have sex.

I think Anna actually loved Josh.

She clearly didn't know the real Josh. If she stays with him, she still doesn't.

Teenage Ben no doubt wanted the sex, but he fell in love with a girl on a teevee show. It's like a bad sitcom episode.

[nokidsmom]

Actually I would say that HE and JESSA married each other for the same reason JOSH married Anna - to have sex.

I think Anna actually loved Josh.

The whole purity culture, emphasis on modesty, no touch courtships,etc, etc. the resultant repression of normal desires plus the hyper awareness of sex, pretty much guarantees that a lot of fundie couples will get married for sex.

[devoe364]

She clearly didn't know the real Josh. If she stays with him, she still doesn't.

Teenage Ben no doubt wanted the sex, but he fell in love with a girl on a teevee show. It's like a bad sitcom episode.

I don't think any of them really know each other - courtship doesn't allow it.

That said, I now have LFO's Girl on TV stuck in my head.

*Edited because spelling is hard mmm kay?

[2manyKidzzz]

I think Bin could definitely get a job. Whether he will or not, depends on how much they need the money. He is theoretically on JBoob's payroll as far as any of us know. How long JBoob can pay people to do who knows what is the question.

I assume they don't pay rent on their little house.

[Gimme a Free RV]

What's the difference between Bin and a large pizza?

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The pizza can feed a small family.

[devoe364]

nokidsmom - you are right, it is inevitable and its also sad, because how many of these little fundies are going to end up divorced? I mean, I see parents like JBoob and J'chelle as first generation fundies.

They are almost like first generation immigrants from religious countries(in my experience). First generation (for the most part again in my experience with immigrants to Saskatchewan from all over the world) tend to speak little to no English, limit their socialization to those who are familiar to them, and are extremely religious.

What I wonder if their kids are going to grow up more fundie light, like my friends who we were born in Canada but kept socially isolated by their parents when they were young (to protect the religion and culture of course) - most of these friends speak English, some have GEDs (as most dropped out of school young), but marry in the community and maintain most religious observances - though not to the extent their parents did.

Some of my friends who married young as first generation Canadians are divorced and remarried to people outside of the culture. Some have children in high school and their kids are completely Canadianized so to speak.

I wonder if this will happen to some of the Duggar kids.

[nokidsmom]

davoe364, agree with the analogy between first generation immigrants and the Duggars.

I do think it's pretty likely that one or more of the Duggar kids will end up divorced. To be honest, I suspect we may be seeing one or two possibly in the making.

The kids, even while being kept sheltered by JB and J'chelle, have had a taste of things going on in the real world via the show which gave them opportunities for perks and travel, things they would have never experienced otherwise. Even Josh's job with the FRC would have not happened without TLC fame and I wonder how much of moving away and experiencing a different world contributed to his confessed infidelity.

JB and J'chelle wanted both worlds: TLC fame, money, and all it's perks and keeping their kids sheltered, towing the fundie line and staying within their fundie community, so to speak. It's not really working, is it? Josh is the prime example.

One good thing that might just come out of Joshgate is the unmarried kids might have a chance to see for themselves that their parents were wrong and figure out for themselves what they really want in life. They might make a better choice in a partner when they do get married.

[devoe364]

My fear for the unmarried Duggars is that this situation is going to make JB pull the reins in tighter. Rather than allow the adult children to be more careful in the selection of their spouses, he is going to do everything he can to ensure his remaining children marry into the right ATI families.

I don't think Jessa and Ben are matrue enough for marriage. They are not ready for any of this honestly, and none of the Duggar kids are - they are really emotionally stunted.

Hopefully some of the kids get out. I just don't see JB letting that happen. Reeducation camps for all!