The Will To Dominate

[debrand]

I believe that we discussed this letter on the old board but because the Pearls are in the news, I thought it would be good to discuss. This letter is a very good example of all that is wrong with the Pearls. Instead of adding my own comments. I will just post some of the quotes. What is wrong with the letter is apparent.

A mother wrote the Pearls about her three year old daughter. The girl has always been a handful. She had colic and didn't want to be cuddled(isn't that a sign of autism) As you read, please remember, the girl is only three years old. You can imagine how the attitude that the Pearls encourage this mother to have toward her child, would lead to more abuse.

This is the Pearls' advice.

She said that when she "asked her to put up her toys, she would throw the toys the other way," or "she would pick one item up as slow as a turtle, or place the toy on the edge of the bucket, so more often than not it would fall out, not in." The actions of this child cannot be explained in terms of personality. She had developed a willfulness to defy authority. Her slow "obedience" was a deliberate statement that, though they had the power to force compliance, they did not have jurisdiction over her soul.

This mother said her daughter is "still the same, picking up items with her feet or mouth, or going on to play with something else when I leave the room." By picking up items with her feet or mouth, she was technically obeying while proving her independence. It was symbolic obedience, designed to avoid the crises of disobedience, while at the same time making a statement of defiance.

"If I ask her to put her sandals on and go collect the chicken eggs, she puts her boots on instead. I’ll say, ‘No Sue – your sandals.’ So she puts her sandals on backwards. I’ll say, ‘No Sue, put them on properly,’ and she’ll put them on and run out, only to take them off when she gets outside. When I realize she hasn’t returned with the eggs, I look out and see her sandals are off her feet and she is playing in the mud." Again, what you are seeing is a will to dominate. Sue is consumed with the joys of independent action. She is exhilarated by defying authority. We are seeing the heart of a rebel. It is not as if she had a preference for backward shoes. She will always choose the opposite side of an issue. She wants conflict, because only in conflict can she prove her independence. She wants to do the opposite because that is who she has decided to be.

I said that I wouldn't comment, but I've owned chickens. They could be frightening to a young child, because they peck when you take their eggs. Also, a three year old is too young to gather eggs without supervision. Why the heck not just ignore that the girl is putting her shoes on the wrong feet? My youngest girl wanted to do the same. After a couple of days, she decided to wear her shoes correctly.

Mother said, "She knows she will be punished, but enjoys the moment to it’s fullest." I know prisoners that will hit a guard, knowing that they are going to have their sentences lengthened, spend time in solitary confinement, lose privileges, have their parole date put off, and possibly get a beating as well. Why do they do it, knowing the suffering it will cost them? Because at that moment there is nothing more important in the universe than "showing this punk guard that I will not take this off nobody." That attitude started before 12 months of age, and no one was ever big enough to stand up to him.

When Sue interrupts a spanking, crying "huggie," it is nothing more than a ploy to stop her immediate suffering. At some time in the past, this diversion worked, and she keeps trying to use it, hoping it will work again. She is appealing to motherly instincts—engaging in psychological warfare, a way whereby she can gain the upper hand in the contest. She is seeking to redefine the issues by focusing on mother’s feelings rather than her own disobedience.

continued in next post(Its long and there is a lot that is offensive.)

If you ever wonder which of their articles you should show to people who don't understand the Pearls. The Will To Dominate is probably the best introduction to the way these people view children. Anyone with common sense would understand how this could lead to a child's death

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... -dominate/

[debrand]

Spank your child. Then tell her to dry it up. And with no show of emotion, tell her to get back to what she was suppose to be doing to begin with. It is all over in thirty seconds. No trips to the bedroom—no special, emotional sessions. When they do something lovely, then you can love them.

Women, normally thought of as more passive than men, are just as prone to have a will to dominate, but, due to their inferior physical statue, their tactics are more subtle than Sue’s. They will use weakness, bitterness, or emotional intimidation as a lever to control others.

Sue’s addiction to dominance is as strong as any addiction to heroin, alcohol, pornography, or gambling.

Do not fail to spank, but don’t expect it to work until you have made some other adjustments. And when you do spank, make sure that it is forceful enough to get her undivided attention. If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough.

Do not allow 15 seconds to lapse between the offense and the spanking. And do not allow more than 10 feet between the place of the offense and the place of spanking. The association is essential. Don’t hug her in reference to the spanking. That is an apology, and it is a diversion from the issues. Again, spanking will not be the deciding factor, but it will help keep the pressure on.

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... -dominate/

If she throws a screaming fit, give her several moderate licks every few minutes and wait beside her until she is so tired she obeys. Do this all night long, every night, until she readily complies.

If she puts her shoes on backwards, do not threaten or complain, just commence giving her licks right on her feet or ankles until she gets her shoes on the right feet. If she takes her shoes off in the yard, do not warn her, just go out in the yard and spank her feet until she finds her shoes and puts them back on.

[debrand]

For the third time, here is the link to the article

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... -dominate/

I really, really want others to read this.

[Hane]

This story never fails to horrify me. First of all, the mother obviously has no grasp of the fact that every child has a different personality, and you will hammer a child into a mold at your peril.

Second, there's Michael Pearl's obsession with face-to-face confrontation with very small children. If it weren't so tragic it would be comical: working so hard to prove he's bigger and stronger and smarter than a toddler.

[Bookworm]

Ugh, I hate that story.

[debrand]

Because there are so many nerves and little bones in the feet, spanking an adult on his feet is considered torture.

[AnnoDomini]

I thought of that. That is just sick. 'Spank her all night'? How can they deny allegations of encouragement of abuse when stuff like THIS is out in the open?

The parents who kill their kids with 'discipline' are of course fully responsible for their own actions. But I think the Pearls are not 100% blameless in this.

[InkyGirl]

"Do not fail to spank, but don’t expect it to work until you have made some other adjustments. And when you do spank, make sure that it is forceful enough to get her undivided attention. If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough.""

THIS is what killed Lydia.

This man is a terrible, terrible human being.

[Koala]

Michael and Debbi Pearl should rot in hell. They are the definition of evil.

I don't for the life of me understand how any rational parent would buy into the bullshit they sell.

Little Lydia's parents followed their instructions to a tee though, and look at where that sweet baby is today.

I fully believe that they (Debbi and Michael) will be arrested one day, but it will be too damn late for the countless children that have been tortured because of them. Good god, just look at their own children....they are absolutely shattered adults, willing to put up with anything from their spouses, because their parents never taught them that they had any value as people.

Sick fucks.

[Witsec1]

If she throws a screaming fit, give her several moderate licks every few minutes and wait beside her until she is so tired she obeys. Do this all night long, every night, until she readily complies.

OK, why isn't this enough to take some kind of legal action against the Pearls in the Lydia Schatz case?

[ophelia]

How many people do approximately follow the teachings of Michael Pearl? And how do they legitimate this abusive behaviour towards their children? When children a blessings/rewards from the Lord, how can anybody be allowed to treat a child like that????

[JesusFightClub]

Because there are so many nerves and little bones in the feet, spanking an adult on his feet is considered torture.

This. I can't do smartphone linkage but google "bastinado".

[debrand]

OK, why isn't this enough to take some kind of legal action against the Pearls in the Lydia Schatz case?

I don't know. :| They have been visited by a detective. They wrote about the visit on their site.

[Witsec1]

This. I can't do smartphone linkage but google "bastinado".

Yeah, I used to work in refugee resettlement and there was one guy who had been tortured in this way. His feet were continually burning. The doctors either wanted to give him athlete's foot treatment or refer him to counseling. I'm sure there was some kind of nerve damage.

[Witsec1]

I don't know. :| They have been visited by a detective. They wrote about the visit on their site.

Do you have a link?

[debrand]

Do you have a link?

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... d-damsels/

Recently, when we held a seminar in Chattanooga, Tennessee, being warned by these damsels, the Department of Human Services of Tennessee sent a “spy†to observe. We welcomed him readily. We have nothing to hide. A few weeks later, the head detective for the state of Tennessee dropped by our place to visit. We knew we did not have to talk to him, but again, having nothing to hide, Michael answered all his questions for about an hour, gave him our booklet “Biblical Chastisement,†our DVD set, The Joy of Training, and several of our books. Biblical Chastisement was written for just this purpose—a defense of Biblical child training. He talked to Deb for about an hour and also spent time with our office staff. He then called and spoke with one of our grown, married children. So the nice detective left, having come to the conclusion that the ladies who were reporting us did not KNOW us. He was satisfied that everything we do and teach is within the law. Since he left, I have honestly been expecting him to invite us to teach foster parents how to train the State’s children. We welcome cooperation with them. They need direction desperately. So, we would like to thank the “damsels†for helping to give us a clean bill of “child-training†health. We are now officially investigated and approved, however unnecessary it was. Thank you, damsels.

I wonder if the fault isn't with the state that they are in?

[JesusFightClub]

Yeah, I used to work in refugee resettlement and there was one guy who had been tortured in this way. His feet were continually burning. The doctors either wanted to give him athlete's foot treatment or refer him to counseling. I'm sure there was some kind of nerve damage.

Poor guy! What a horrible story!

I have nerve damage in one foot and it means I can't feel it properly. If a small fundy child had that from being beaten by the Pearls' methods, it could be extremely dangerous for them. For example I could dip the foot in boiling water and I would register "hot" not "agony, get me out".

An incredibly dangerous and stupid thing to do, hitting a child on the feet.

[Witsec1]

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... d-damsels/

I wonder if the fault isn't with the state that they are in?

I think that investigation - if it ever happened - was before the Schatz case. It might have been related to the Sean Pidduck (sp?) case. A lot of the details of this supposed investigation sound really sketchy. The "head detective for the state of Tennessee" - what the heck does that even mean? What agency? What title? Someone from CPS may have talked to them and concluded there was nothing on which they could press charges. Which is not the same as a seal of approval. The bit about teaching foster parents - he is delusional. That part actually makes him sound like a psychopath with delusions of grandeur.

[debrand]

I wonder if the Pearls mean that they were investigated by this guy

http://www.tbi.state.tn.us/documents/Di ... 010Bio.pdf

Mark Gwyn would have been the director of Tennessee's Bureau of Investigation in 2005.

[slickcat79]

When they do something lovely, then you can love them.

That's just sick. What kind of a parent only loves their child when they are well-behaved? And what does it do to a child to grow up knowing that their parents didn't love them for large portions of their life? Even the kids who survive the beatings without permanent damage are going to be f'ed up for life.

[prairiemuffin]

Quote:

When they do something lovely, then you can love them.

That's just sick. What kind of a parent only loves their child when they are well-behaved?

A parent who has been brainwashed into believing that parenting is hammering their children into perfect little robots.

[hoipolloi]

I wonder if the Pearls mean that they were investigated by this guy

http://www.tbi.state.tn.us/documents/Di ... 010Bio.pdf

Mark Gwyn would have been the director of Tennessee's Bureau of Investigation in 2005.

Perhaps this was the government rep but it looks like his job was criminal law enforcement, given all the mention of FBI & other law enforcement agencies. My guess is that it could have been a CPS-like agency head, if it happened at all. And I think there's good reason to doubt the Pearls' statements about this supposed investigation.

Since, like the Williams of Hephzibah House, the Pearls also believe in hell, let's hope they'll all have a nice reunion there for eternity.

[masagoroll]

If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough.

What the FUCK? They should spank her so hard she can't scream or speak???

They are saying the little girl is addicted to the will to dominate--that's because her entire life has been turned into a power struggle instead of a loving relationship with cooperation! Completely breaking someone's will is EVIL.

It is all so unnecessary, too. Spanking the kid constantly while they have a temper tantrum? Ridiculous! As a preschool teacher, we usually just put our kids in a timeout when they are having a tantrum and say "OK, you have your tantrum here, and when you're ready to be nice, you can come talk to me." The kids get over it very fast when they realize they won't get to play or do anything fun until they stop the tantrum. They get the message very easily without someone HITTING them while they cry or WITHHOLDING LOVE from them.

I am so pissed off right now.

[masagoroll]

I just read more article and found more NONSENSE!

Her slow "obedience" was a deliberate statement that, though they had the power to force compliance, they did not have jurisdiction over her soul.

No one has jurisdiction over someone else's soul!

And then he said that the mom was making the NURSING INFANT brother like Sue by only nursing him in a quiet place where he felt comfortable. "This little pre-verbal infant should not get any preferences! He is manipulating you!" AGH!

[debrand]

I just read more article and found more NONSENSE!

Her slow "obedience" was a deliberate statement that, though they had the power to force compliance, they did not have jurisdiction over her soul.

No one has jurisdiction over someone else's soul!

And then he said that the mom was making the NURSING INFANT brother like Sue by only nursing him in a quiet place where he felt comfortable. "This little pre-verbal infant should not get any preferences! He is manipulating you!" AGH!

He was on oxygen and monitors for a long while and so was used to nursing in a quiet room – now if I try it in any other location, he refuses. He also has to be upright after feeding so I can’t just lay him down and go chastise her during his feeding.)

The woman's youngest child has some physical issues so Michael's advice to her might hurt or even kill her son.