Michael Bates Brandon Keilen wedding

[HereticHick]

It's definitely about them having to move to Big Sandy, TX.... They just got married and moved in and now they have to move.

Or-- Brandon is losing his job.

Although Michael may be happier in Big Sandy--warmer than Chicago, & cheaper cost of living--she and and Brandon will both be farther from their families (esp. Brandon, who is from Michigan)

[Dandruff]

I'll guess it's about moving and pregnancy, though I'm sure they had a heads-up about the move (and didn't settle in much in Chicago). Since Brandon attended Gothard's seminary and Gil is on the Board I doubt job security is a problem. Maybe they're trying to figure out which house they want to move into, and next to which fundie royalty neighbors.

[HereticHick]

I'll guess it's about moving and pregnancy, though I'm sure they had a heads-up about the move (and didn't settle in much in Chicago). Since Brandon attended Gothard's seminary and Gil is on the Board I doubt job security is a problem. Maybe they're trying to figure out which house they want to move into, and next to which fundie royalty neighbors.

I want them ALL to live on Pecan Road with David & Priscilla. They can have progressive dinners & post so many pictures for us. So so so much sweet fellowshiping time.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I want them ALL to live on Pecan Road with David & Priscilla. They can have progressive dinners & post so many pictures for us. So so so much sweet fellowshiping time.

I just googled progressive dinner and it's not exactly the same (but I have no focus) but it reminded me of that BBC show Come Dine with Me. I loooooved that show and would give anything to see the Wallers and company compete while pretending they aren't trying to one up each other!

Bastardize Chopped and they have to use pecans and tater tots in every dish.

[picklepizzas]

Since Michael made Erin's bridesmaid dresses from scratch and used to make all the girls' dresses when they were still in the frumper stage, I have nothing against her not making her own wedding/bridesmaid dresses. She should least let that bit of the wedding taken care of and not hanging over her. Plus she was nannying pretty close to full time, probably up until the wedding. Her time was way more limited than the Duggar girls.

She sewed Erin's dresses but wasn't in the wedding?! Is there a story behind this? That seems so sad.

[singsingsing]

I think the story was that she didn't want to be in the wedding because she hates attention.

[zadie]

So, anyone know how the Bateses would react to one of their daughters having an ACTUALLY small wedding? Like what if he ONLY wanted the immediate family of her and the groom.

Weddings always give me a weird vibe. Not just fundie weddings, but a lot of weddings seem to care more about what everyone else wants/expects. I think that's so silly. If I ever have a wedding it will def be all about me and my partner! Yes I'm aware that's selfish but I think it's selfish in a good and functional way lol.

But back to the Bateses. Does Michaela still have access to the allotted wedding budget if she chooses that? Can she have a super cheap wedding and then keep the rest of the money as savings for whatever she sees as priority after she gets married? I wonder if the Bates would ever agree to something like that. I mean if they're gonna give the kids all the same amount of money no matter what they might as well. But fundies aren't about logic and fairness usually lol.

[19 cats and counting]

Keep in mind in Michaela's case, keeping her wedding size to only her family and Brandon's family already puts it at a smaller typical wedding. Her FOO is 20 besides her and that does not include spouses, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. His FOO is 11 besides him (not including spouses, etc).

I think that both families (at least hers) are used to doing things on a larger scale and less than 100 wedding guests is simply not a cultural norm. Heading off to the courthouse and eloping is also not going to happen, because they (especially this couple) need to be married in a church wedding.

But some of the other cultural norms for weddings (at least in my area) they didn't have, such as a gourmet sit down meal, open bar, dancing/DJ, favors, bachelor/ette parties, limo, etc.

And this is a Bates we are talking about. I'm sure if she went over the allotted budget, UP would be footing the bill. Notice only the daughters had their weddings on TV.

[AlysonRR]

The cultural norms for wedding receptions in my area used to be meeting in the church basement for punch (maybe champagne, depending on the religion) and relish tray, nuts and cheese (cubes, of course), then cake and maybe some other sweet things.

My husband's English family found that very quaint, LOL. Not to mention impossible - the 12th century church where we were married had no basement. Heck, it didn't even have a minute hand on the clock - apparently the hour hand was enough for the ancestors ;-)

So, since my family was going to his turf (he had 5 siblings and an extensive extended family - I had one sibling and a relatively small extended family, plus I always wanted to be married in England), they paid for a formal reception at a local (very fancy) venue, then his brothers and sisters hosted a ceilidh (folk dance) at the Women's Institute Hall.

Then we had a reception at my parents, which was basically a buffet picnic.

All in all, it was much more enjoyable than a punch reception in the church basement!

[VelociRapture]

So, anyone know how the Bateses would react to one of their daughters having an ACTUALLY small wedding? Like what if he ONLY wanted the immediate family of her and the groom.

Weddings always give me a weird vibe. Not just fundie weddings, but a lot of weddings seem to care more about what everyone else wants/expects. I think that's so silly. If I ever have a wedding it will def be all about me and my partner! Yes I'm aware that's selfish but I think it's selfish in a good and functional way lol.

But back to the Bateses. Does Michaela still have access to the allotted wedding budget if she chooses that? Can she have a super cheap wedding and then keep the rest of the money as savings for whatever she sees as priority after she gets married? I wonder if the Bates would ever agree to something like that. I mean if they're gonna give the kids all the same amount of money no matter what they might as well. But fundies aren't about logic and fairness usually lol.

I've been living this the past (almost) two years. Someone hold me until it's over? :lol:

For us, our guests are of the utmost importance. We want them to be comfortable. We want them to be well-fed. We want them to have a good time. So we planned our wedding with those needs at the very forefront of our minds - and I think most couples do that as well, to an extent. How you interpret those things just depends on you as an individual and the region you are from. For us, that meant providing a sit down meal, drinks, and dancing. For others it might mean something entirely different.

Personally, I don't care that much about what other people think about the minor details - like the fact we picked sunflowers over roses or that we're walking out of the ceremony to a Queen song or the fact that we aren't having a religious ceremony. That stuff is what we wanted and how we intend to personalize it a bit. Same with the location, date, and time we picked - some people may not be happy we chose a venue in the town we live in (30 minutes away from where our parents live), picked early November (because a major holiday is the same month), or the fact that the wedding runs from 4:00 until 9:30. Their opinions don't really count when it comes to those decisions.

(And now I'm really off track. :lol: But I agree - the needs and wants of the Bride and Groom should absolutely always be a major consideration when wedding planning. And people shouldn't rely too much on other people's opinions when it comes to the more personal details either.)

I think the story was that she didn't want to be in the wedding because she hates attention.

So do I. I'm honestly considering asking someone to stand in for me - at my own wedding. Anyone? Anyone? :lol:

[NoJulius]

I think the story was that she didn't want to be in the wedding because she hates attention.

I understood that she stayed behind to comfort one of her younger sisters who was crying.

[singsingsing]

I understood that she stayed behind to comfort one of her younger sisters who was crying.

No, it was planned from the beginning. She didn't drop out at the last moment, she was never going to be in the wedding. She said she would sew the dresses instead to be a part of it.

[zadie]

I've been living this the past (almost) two years. Someone hold me until it's over? :lol:

For us, our guests are of the utmost importance. We want them to be comfortable. We want them to be well-fed. We want them to have a good time. So we planned our wedding with those needs at the very forefront of our minds - and I think most couples do that as well, to an extent. How you interpret those things just depends on you as an individual and the region you are from. For us, that meant providing a sit down meal, drinks, and dancing. For others it might mean something entirely different.

Personally, I don't care that much about what other people think about the minor details - like the fact we picked sunflowers over roses or that we're walking out of the ceremony to a Queen song or the fact that we aren't having a religious ceremony. That stuff is what we wanted and how we intend to personalize it a bit. Same with the location, date, and time we picked - some people may not be happy we chose a venue in the town we live in (30 minutes away from where our parents live), picked early November (because a major holiday is the same month), or the fact that the wedding runs from 4:00 until 9:30. Their opinions don't really count when it comes to those decisions.

(And now I'm really off track. :lol: But I agree - the needs and wants of the Bride and Groom should absolutely always be a major consideration when wedding planning. And people shouldn't rely too much on other people's opinions when it comes to the more personal details either.)

So do I. I'm honestly considering asking someone to stand in for me - at my own wedding. Anyone? Anyone? :lol:

I understand wanting people to have fun and be comfortable etc. Idk what kind of personal wants you'd have for your wedding that could significantly impact that. What I meant about the "planning the wedding for other people" I meant for what your parents think or things like that. A lot of people feel pressured just because their parents think they should have X type of wedding they need to have that kind of wedding, even if it's not what they want. Or, if let's say the couple is really rich or something, people might expect them to have a fancy grandiose affair when they would both prefer a really small romantic wedding with the minimal amount of people.

Of course, after you decide what type of wedding to have you should make sure your guests are comfortable and having fun. I just think only the couple should decide on what type of wedding to have. Your wedding shouldn't be dictated by other people imo.

But I get that it's important to others. Ultimately I don't care what other people want to do. I just think it's so unfortunate when people are stressing themselves planning weddings they didn't really want in the first place.

[ViolaSebastian]

Between this thread and the Amy Duggar King Duggar Jordan Duggar King wedding thread, I've decided that if I ever get married again, I am eloping. :hand: