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Dark Matters

Recording every outing with your husband - Teri's tips

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Dark Matters

Maybe she needs to write them down because those outings weren't that memorable to begin with?

 

blog.titus2.com/2015/08/11/keeping-track-of-memories-is-important/

Edited by OnceUponATime
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albanuadh_1

Do those people have a list for everything?! All this' busy' work would certainly fill up your day...

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MamaJunebug
Steve has made it a priority to nurture our relationship, give me a break from my normal household responsibilities...

Teri! It's a sin to tell a lie!!

ETA: Or is homeschooling not part of "normal household" responsibilities??

They really count on their customers' short memories, don't they?

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blessalessi

They must really be scraping for pennies to need to place an amazon affiliate link in nearly every post.

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thoughtful
Through our almost 41 years of marriage, Steve has made it a priority to nurture our relationship manipulate me six ways from Sunday, give me a break from my normal household responsibilities briefly take over a task to show me how I was doing it wrong, then test me repeatedly to make sure I was doing it his way, and figure out ways for us to have very special time for the two of us in the midst of raising a large, growing family to isolate me for some brainwashing.

I have a treasured file on my computer that lists any time that Steve and I have had a night or more away—just the two of us—the last 23 years. Would you believe when I counted, I have 39 different occasions? That averages more than 1.5 get a-ways for the two of us per year. Some of those we would have forgotten without the list - Steve, because he's a cold-hearted shit, me, because depression causes memory loss.

Regrettably for the first 17 years of our marriage, I didn’t keep track of those outings. During the early years of our marriage, weekends away for the two of us were perhaps even more precious because we had to hire a babysitter sinfully chose a minion of Satan to watch our children (have I mentioned that Steve still gives me guilt over that?) in order to leave home. I wish I had a listing of those times as well.

I want to encourage to keep memory lists—pretty easy with computers—of special events you want to be able to recall such as husband/wife retreats. It might seem at the moment that you will never forget, but 25 years later, memories aren’t quite what they used to be especially, if, like me, you are suffering from untreated depression and constantly need to go numb to try to block out both emotional and physical pain!

You might want to keep track of visits to grandparents or their visits to your home -- after all, who knows when your husband will forbid you to see them because they do something shocking like celebrating holidays or reading good fiction. Perhaps it is a listing of where and when you vacationed. You will likely have a photo record (don't forget to grin maniacally!), but how easy is it over the course of a 50-year marriage to remember what year you vacationed and where you went based on combing back through photos?

I have even begun to keep a list of birthday and Christmas gifts I receive each year and who each was from. I use that list to mark when I write a thank you note for the gift, in addition to the ongoing record it provides for the future. I have been known, without keeping track, not to remember whether I wrote a thank you note for a specific gift or not and then I must scourge myself with a cat-o-nine-tails.

I am sure you can come up with areas in your life that you would like to have a record concerning -- for example, correct grammar. Even if you didn’t start right at the beginning, now is better than never. Even though I don’t have the record of our first 17 years of Steve and my outings, I am very grateful for the 23 years that I do have. Had I not started then, I wouldn’t have what I have , and being reminded of the few scraps of affection Steve has thrown my way, between giving me guilt with his weeping and Bible quotes, it precious to me.

Some prefer pretty journals and pens over the computer for memory tracking. Amazon has some beautiful ones. The Amazon link is an affiliate one. Read our disclosure/privacy policy here. Steve is making me sell shit -- if I don't do it, I only get a half a burrito and some cheese paper for dinner. I love being an independent adult, don't you?

Trusting in Jesus , and he'd better come through when I die, because my life has been a shithole of pain,

Teri

FTFY, Teri. :(

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kpmom

Their blog posts are particularly banal and boring lately.

Now that the kids are (ostensibly) grown up it really shows how little they have going on.

At this stage of their lives they should be bragging some about what each kid is doing, but since they're doing so little, especially the daughters, there's not much to say, I guess.

I'm really beginning to believe they are writing these posts just to put an Amazon affiliate link in there. I mean, really, does Teri have to explain that you can use a paper and pen journal if you don't want to use a computer?

I wanted to add, I keep a journal on the computer (and have paper and pen ones going back decades), and they are really fun to re-read. I would highly recommend keeping one (turns out I've been trying to lose the same 10-15 pounds for the last 10 years!), but I wouldn't write a long, boring blog post about it.

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ariel9

Perhaps to convince her that Steve does not completely suck and that he has brief shining moments of kindness.

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Cartmann99

Well, that was better than I was expecting. When I read the title of this thread, I thought Terri was talking about keeping a record of every single time you and your spouse left the house together. :evil-eye: It's one thing to keep a record to remember trips you have taken, it's another to keep a record of the two of you going out to buy a new toilet. :lol:

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freejugar

I'm surprised they didn't come up with a Maxwell beige journal for couples with excersizes, prompts, and bible verses and that kind of shit.

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sparkles

Links, shminks. Unless every single person who visits the blog makes major, multiple purchases from the affiliate links, it only amounts to incidental income. A hugely popular blog that I follow publishes monthly income reports and their affiliate income last month (out of $30K+) was just over $400. That alone isn't going to keep you out of the poor house.

https://affiliate-program.amazon.com/gp ... ation.html

The Maxwells just need another way to flog their product, now that the conferences have wasted away to almost nothing.

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DowntownAbbey
I have a treasured file on my computer that lists any time that Steve and I have had a night or more away—just the two of us—the last 23 years. Would you believe when I counted, I have 39 different occasions? That averages more than 1.5 get a-ways for the two of us per year. Some of those we would have forgotten without the list.

Is it just me or is 39 outings kinda low for 23 years? 1.5 outings avg/year means some years they only went out once that whole year.

Some prefer pretty journals and pens over the computer for memory tracking. Amazon has some beautiful ones. The Amazon link is an affiliate one. Read our disclosure/privacy policy here.

Is it standard operating procedure for blogs to mention the affiliate links every. damn. time. they post one? Even if it is a little asterisk note would be better, much more readable, and wouldn't come off as "hey we added in this line just so we can maybe make some money" a little less.

Is it possible that the list-keeping helps Teri with her depression?

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louisa05

I thought the number was incredibly low, too. But people are different. I would say my husband and I average four outings a year that would meet her criteria for listing.

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sparkles

Is it just me or is 39 outings kinda low for 23 years? 1.5 outings avg/year means some years they only went out once that whole year.

Is it standard operating procedure for blogs to mention the affiliate links every. damn. time. they post one? Even if it is a little asterisk note would be better, much more readable, and wouldn't come off as "hey we added in this line just so we can maybe make some money" a little less.

Is it possible that the list-keeping helps Teri with her depression?

Yes, it's considered best practice to always disclose affiliate or sponsored links with every post, even if you post a general disclaimer somewhere else.

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thoughtful
@thoughtful: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :worship:

Thanks. I was tempted to add "because depression leads to memory loss" after every paragraph, but I refrained.

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JemimaPuddle-Duck
I thought the number was incredibly low, too. But people are different. I would say my husband and I average four outings a year that would meet her criteria for listing.

I'm impressed! I think it has been about ten years since we had an overnight without kids. And we've never been on an actual trip/vacation by ourselves. We make regular outing dates and at-home dates a priority, but with young children and family being far away we haven't been able to swing a trip. Someday :-)

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Justme

Most people make a scrapbook or photo album of their trips.....

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Maggie Mae

That is so sad. She's so beige she makes a list of their "outings" (Is vacation a dirty word in Maxhell?) instead of a scrapbook, or memory boxes, or photo albums. Just so boring!

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Fascinated
That is so sad. She's so beige she makes a list of their "outings" (Is vacation a dirty word in Maxhell?) instead of a scrapbook, or memory boxes, or photo albums. Just so boring!

What's sadder is that she thinks it's a 'tip' that is blogworthy. I wonder how many little lined notebooks have been purchased by her equally sad followers.

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socalrules

Anyone actually think they ever went anywhere they both wanted to go instead of just where Steve wants to go? My guess is that Steve gets it in his head that he wants to do something and Terri follows meekly behind, pretending to herself that this is actually a couples trip.

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sparkles

I'm actually shocked that she mentioned that for some outings they had to hire a babysitter. This has to have have been before they went off the deep end because I thought outside caretakers are forbidden in Maxhell.

My list wouldn't even fill a post it note. In 30-whatever years together we've had exactly one 3-day vacation, and that was with child in tow. Oh well.

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blessalessi

Maybe the next Maxbook will be a Family Record Book, with "encouraging" notes from Teri, and illustrations from Mary.Sweet Journal. :disgust:

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princessmahina

I...think that's a good idea? It seems like it would be something nice to look back at when you're angry or disappointed with your partner. Also, it might be nice later on in life when the memory starts to go, or when your spouse dies.

It seems nice, but with a Maxwell slant on it, it loses some of the appeal.

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Trynn

I agree, this almost sounds like something I would do. You should see my journals, they contain a metric fuckton of detail I've since forgotten, and it's fun to go back and read them. I'm more of a writing person than a photo persin, and scrapbookkng just sounds painfully time consuming.

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Geechee Girl

Recording every outing is not reverencing the Headship. Teri's supposed to pray that all memories be as vivid as yesterday. If she can't recall a trip, it's her job to beseech Steve with a humble and meek spirit to bless her with a recounting of the tales.

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