Free Anna Duggar and the M Kids - Part 2 - Merge

[FlorenceHamilton]

Perhaps we need to change the name of the forum.

[SPHASH]

Perhaps we need to change the name of the forum.

Good idea. Free Anna and the M kids.

[Chicken bones]

While we all wish she would dump his deserving lying ass, Anna will likely not. Free m-kids!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I feel TERRIBLE for her but if she doesn't free herself, I won't have an ounce of pity for her.

[Lewy]

I feel TERRIBLE for her but if she doesn't free herself, I won't have an ounce of pity for her.

I totally understand this sentiment, but I truly wonder if she has the resources and support to free herself.

Will her family support her divorcing Josh? Does she have friends outside the Fundie/ATI bubble who can help her? Does she know that there are plenty of us who will help her financially if she needs it (I'll happily put my money where my mouth is and donate $100 to a gofundme for her)? Does she have access to her own money? Does she have somewhere she can go with the M kids?

There is all of this to consider as well as the fact she has been raised in a deeply misogynistic, victim blaming culture in which she has been brainwashed to think she has to 'submit' to him no matter what.

It's not going to be easy for her to understand it's OK to free herself AND to get the help and support she needs to free herself.

[Free Them All]

I would like for Anna to throw Josh out. She and the kids stay in the house. He can live in the shed on the Duggar compound while she files for divorce and child support. I would like for Anna to enroll in a community college and begin her education so that eventually she can have a career. The Duggar adults living at home can help her with child care. The M kids should be enrolled in public school.

Many women have taken this path and been successful at it. It is a hard road but Anna has to do it for the kids sake if not her own.

[Percy]

I agree, the M kids could also join TSOTDRT with the other Duggar kids if Anna wanted to continue to home school. I hope Anna is at the TTH and protected by the family.

[Lewy]

I would like for Anna to throw Josh out..

I would too, but I worry that ATI training to make her a submissive little helpmeet means she won't even realise it is an option, let alone do it.

[Luisainlondon1]

I would like for Anna to throw Josh out. She and the kids stay in the house. He can live in the shed on the Duggar compound while she files for divorce and child support. I would like for Anna to enroll in a community college and begin her education so that eventually she can have a career. The Duggar adults living at home can help her with child care. The M kids should be enrolled in public school.

Many women have taken this path and been successful at it. It is a hard road but Anna has to do it for the kids sake if not her own.

That would be great. But it will never happen...

[Growelly]

I would too, but I worry that ATI training to make her a submissive little helpmeet means she won't even realise it is an option, let alone do it.

This, unfortunately. It's so much easier to see options for her if you aren't wearing Goatherd blinders.

[PracticeMakesProgress]

I think it honestly depends on how the fundie community handles Josh's confession. Where and how I grew up, if the man spun a great humility yarn-sincere or not-and asked for the forgiveness of the church community, the wife was looked down upon if she didn't fall back in line, and support her penitent spouse. If Josh is instead shunned by the likes of David Waller, Anna would likely have an easier time separating. I feel most for Anna and the kids. What a miserable, embarrassing, horrible thing to experience. My only hope is that the children are young enough (though Mack is almost 6), they can remain relatively innocent and unaware of what is happening.

[19 cats and counting]

On paper she has a path out. She has 3 siblings who have left ATI (one before marriage). Given her husband's past behavior, I don't think there's a court in this country that would not give her full custody of the M kids.

As for income. Aside from the fact that she should enroll in community college and make herself marketable, she has an X factor here. She could be the one to write the tell-all about what it is really like to be married to a sleaze ball like Josh Duggar. I said in another thread, she should contact 'Who the Bleep did I marry?" on ID and get her story featured. She's also (semi) famous, and her plight would have a go fund me for her legal expenses and childcare go viral. I'd contribute to it.

[poughkeepsie]

I think it honestly depends on how the fundie community handles Josh's confession. Where and how I grew up, if the man spun a great humility yarn-sincere or not-and asked for the forgiveness of the church community, the wife was looked down upon if she didn't fall back in line, and support her penitent spouse. If Josh is instead shunned by the likes of David Waller, Anna would likely have an easier time separating. I feel most for Anna and the kids. What a miserable, embarrassing, horrible thing to experience. My only hope is that the children are young enough (though Mack is almost 6), they can remain relatively innocent and unaware of what is happening.

This is my biggest concern as well. I hope she's not expected to simply go "ok, I forgive you" and move on. Damn, I feel so bad for Anna. Hopefully she's getting the support she needs and not shitty "the devil made him do it!" or "your job is to help him" excuses from her close ones.

[J'Lurker]

It makes me sad that her religion has taught her to assume responsibility for this. He could only stray because she wasn't a godly enough wife, etc.

Do Anna and Josh have a covenant marriage like Benessa? If she were to break from her ATI/fundie upbringing now and go for divorce, wouldn't she still have to undergo at least six months of marital counselling provided by.... probably JimBob?

Although, she could probably benefit from any kind of counselling provided by any one with any legitimate training.

[19 cats and counting]

It makes me sad that her religion has taught her to assume responsibility for this. He could only stray because she wasn't a godly enough wife, etc.

Do Anna and Josh have a covenant marriage like Benessa? If she were to break from her ATI/fundie upbringing now and go for divorce, wouldn't she still have to undergo at least six months of marital counselling provided by.... probably JimBob?

Although, she could probably benefit from any kind of counselling provided by any one with any legitimate training.

IIRC Josh and Anna got married in the Keller's church in FL. According to Wiki, covenant marriages only exist in 3 states (Arkansas, Louisiana, Arizona).

Another interesting tidbit--- Tony Perkins, Josh's former boss at the FRC, was one of the ones spearheading the effort to make covenant marriages a possibility in LA.

[justoneoftwo]

On paper she has a path out. She has 3 siblings who have left ATI (one before marriage). Given her husband's past behavior, I don't think there's a court in this country that would not give her full custody of the M kids.

As for income. Aside from the fact that she should enroll in community college and make herself marketable, she has an X factor here. She could be the one to write the tell-all about what it is really like to be married to a sleaze ball like Josh Duggar. I said in another thread, she should contact 'Who the Bleep did I marry?" on ID and get her story featured. She's also (semi) famous, and her plight would have a go fund me for her legal expenses and childcare go viral. I'd contribute to it.

In most states I don't think this would give her full custody (though effectively it might). The law supposedly favors joint custody unless it would harm the kids. While he is a horrible person, unless they claim the molestation is likely to reoccur, he will still be their father and get joint custody, if he wants it. People have affairs, they still get their kids.

[J'Lurker]

IIRC Josh and Anna got married in the Keller's church in FL. According to Wiki, covenant marriages only exist in 3 states (Arkansas, Louisiana, Arizona).

Another interesting tidbit--- Tony Perkins, Josh's former boss at the FRC, was one of the ones spearheading the effort to make covenant marriages a possibility in LA.

I love your name 19 cats!

Thanks for the tips. That explains why they put so much emphasis on explaining what a covenant marriage was on the show.

I hope Anna goes for a long visit to Florida (or somewhere else). She's got some hard choices to make in the near future.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

In most states I don't think this would give her full custody (though effectively it might). The law supposedly favors joint custody unless it would harm the kids. While he is a horrible person, unless they claim the molestation is likely to reoccur, he will still be their father and get joint custody, if he wants it. People have affairs, they still get their kids.

The other part of this is there are two kinds of custody - physical and legal. I have full physical custody from day one and we had joint legal. Not sure if that's the case everywhere.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

I think it honestly depends on how the fundie community handles Josh's confession. Where and how I grew up, if the man spun a great humility yarn-sincere or not-and asked for the forgiveness of the church community, the wife was looked down upon if she didn't fall back in line, and support her penitent spouse. If Josh is instead shunned by the likes of David Waller, Anna would likely have an easier time separating. I feel most for Anna and the kids. What a miserable, embarrassing, horrible thing to experience. My only hope is that the children are young enough (though Mack is almost 6), they can remain relatively innocent and unaware of what is happening.

Is it wrong of me to in a way hope that TFDW does actively shun Josh?

[Hisey]

On paper she has a path out. She has 3 siblings who have left ATI (one before marriage). Given her husband's past behavior, I don't think there's a court in this country that would not give her full custody of the M kids.

Really? Not a court in the country? There are things that we consider wrong (like cheating) and then there is what courts consider when making custody decisions. Two different things.

Josh cheated. Men cheat all the time and get shared custody of the kids.

As a kid, he molested his sisters. However, he was a minor and was never charged. I'm not sure that would even be admissible in court.

More than likely, he would get shared custody with Anna. There's no evidence he was abusive or addicted to drugs. Those are things that DO affect custody.

[justoneoftwo]

Really? Not a court in the country? There are things that we consider wrong (like cheating) and then there is what courts consider when making custody decisions. Two different things.

Josh cheated. Men cheat all the time and get shared custody of the kids.

As a kid, he molested his sisters. However, he was a minor and was never charged. I'm not sure that would even be admissible in court.

More than likely, he would get shared custody with Anna. There's no evidence he was abusive or addicted to drugs. Those are things that DO affect custody.

Thank you! Also, even if he was addicted to drugs if he went to rehab he would get shared custody eventually. Courts take the right to have access to your children and your children's right to a relationship with both parents very seriously.

[Hooligan]

According to the Daily News she is blaming herself.

nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/anna-duggar-absorb-blame-cheating-hubby-report-article-1.2332918

[MarsGirl]

Well, that info is all secondhand. However it sounds on par with what we already know....

[Hooligan]

Well, that info is all secondhand. However it sounds on par with what we already know....

As much as I want her to take the kids and get out, it would shock me if she did :cry:

[MoonFace]

According to the Daily News she is blaming herself.

nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/anna-duggar-absorb-blame-cheating-hubby-report-article-1.2332918

Of course she is! She was down making the kids a sandwich and changing diapers when Joshie wanted to play with sex toys in the bathtub!