Free Anna Duggar and the M Kids - Part 2 - Merge

[luv2laugh]

I completely agree with everything you said.

[Shadoewolf]

I said this in the lawsuit thread, but I honestly don't think Anna could get away, short of literally being kidnapped with the Mkids and hidden from the crazies for awhile. For this reason, I bet anything Anna has an accountability partner to go with her everywhere.  And the problem in an "emergency rescue" type scenario is that at least one of the Mkids is with their cousins or at the TTH seems like all the time.  She wouldn't leave one of her children behind.  Do I think JB and M are that crazy and manipulative? Sadly, yes. 

[EmCatlyn]

I also think though......could it be that Anna is worried she can't have another life.

Anna has 4 children to raise and no education to fall back on. I wouldn't be surprised if all their money is in Joshley's name as 'headship' and Joshley could lose a lot of that money from being sued. It also may not be as much as we think they have, depending on how much they used moving to DC and what the terms of their TLC deal was.

Anna might not have faith she can make it on her own and feels like she needs to 'suck it up' to keep feeding those 4 mouths and keep a roof over their head. And she doesn't seem to have a lot of friends other than Mrs Pecan Thief and the Duggar girls and Amy. She might also fear losing her support networks/friends if she left Josh.

 

Yes, I agree that Anna may stay with Josh not just because she can't imagine any other life but because she can't imagine how she could support her kids and she fears losing her support network.  We really have no way of knowing what motivates her.

I do think that she has two sisters and a brother who would provide emotional (and in the case of Daniel, practical) support and Amy would probably cheer her for leaving Josh.  I think also that Mrs. Pecan Thief and maybe even her parents would not disown her if she left Josh.  He has given her reason.  They may pressure her to stay, but her decision to leave would be forgiven because of the circumstances.   And Josh would have to contribute child support and the odds are JB would help out with that even if Anna left because the kids are his grandkids.  So though she may be afraid, she probably has a better chance of help and support than many other fundie wives in difficult marriages.

But if she doesn't see that, and she probably doesn't, she may well be afraid.  And after six years (or whatever) of commitment to a marriage it is hard to suddenly start thinking of separating when you love the man and he is the father of your children.

In short, I don't think that Anna is at a place where she wishes she could leave Josh.  I think she just wishes everything would get fixed and she could have him as a loving husband etc.  

[GreenTea]

I also think though......could it be that Anna is worried she can't have another life.

Anna has 4 children to raise and no education to fall back on. I wouldn't be surprised if all their money is in Joshley's name as 'headship' and Joshley could lose a lot of that money from being sued. It also may not be as much as we think they have, depending on how much they used moving to DC and what the terms of their TLC deal was.

Anna might not have faith she can make it on her own and feels like she needs to 'suck it up' to keep feeding those 4 mouths and keep a roof over their head. And she doesn't seem to have a lot of friends other than Mrs Pecan Thief and the Duggar girls and Amy. She might also fear losing her support networks/friends if she left Josh.

 

I can see that. It is really overwhelming for anybody to start over. Plus Anna would have to start over with four young children, no house, no job, no education, few job skills, few social skills (example: that slow talking thing she does outside fuddie circles comes off as being not so smart), and pretty much alone. Most of her friends and family are deep into the fuddie religion. She could go to her brother for help. But after time Anna is going to have to step up and work outside the home.

If Anna left Josh would she still follow the fuddie version of the religion? Would she still teach Mackenzie to be a docile wife or try to raise a strong daughter? Would she give up when being a single mother is scary and try to find a "better fuddie" to marry, so she just doesn't have to think about it/figure it all out herself?

Life is hard. People that have grown up in the "normal" world and have a college education are struggling to find jobs with a future. It's going to be a sharp learning curve for a fuddie girl like Anna. I don't know if she is ready to deal with it right now. Staying with a "reformed" Josh would be the easier choice. Not the smart choice long-term, but it would be easier.  

[EmCatlyn]

Of course Anna is going to be on the TLC specials and of course she's going to talk about the Josh Scandal(s). Aren't Jill and/or Jessa on another promo talking about it/them?  TLC knows the main reason anyone is going to tune into anything about the Duggars' is to see "How Are They Handling the Aftermath?"  They'll probably have a decent audience for the specials, since TLC is promoting it as sensationalizing.  But after that, when people realize that these folks are all going to sweep this under the rug, they'll lose interest.  Who cares what the Dullwalds are up to? The only way the Duggars will keep the TV show going is to exploit these scandals, and I just don't see them as being willing to do that or even really understanding that that is all anyone cares about seeing. Sure, TLC will exploit them as long as they can make money off of doing it, probably even to the point of putting Josh on the air as part of his inevitable "redemption tour."  But if the Duggars think they're ever going back to being the Quaint Little Christian Family With a TV Show Ministry days of yore, then they're greatly mistaken.  

I think you have hit the nail on the head here.  The Duggars may stay on TV in one form or another, but their image has changed forever.

[Lewy]

I can see that. It is really overwhelming for anybody to start over. Plus Anna would have to start over with four young children, no house, no job, no education, few job skills, few social skills (example: that slow talking thing she does outside fuddie circles comes off as being not so smart), and pretty much alone. Most of her friends and family are deep into the fuddie religion. She could go to her brother for help. But after time Anna is going to have to step up and work outside the home.

If Anna left Josh would she still follow the fuddie version of the religion? Would she still teach Mackenzie to be a docile wife or try to raise a strong daughter? Would she give up when being a single mother is scary and try to find a "better fuddie" to marry, so she just doesn't have to think about it/figure it all out herself?

Life is hard. People that have grown up in the "normal" world and have a college education are struggling to find jobs with a future. It's going to be a sharp learning curve for a fuddie girl like Anna. I don't know if she is ready to deal with it right now. Staying with a "reformed" Josh would be the easier choice. Not the smart choice long-term, but it would be easier.  

That's exactly it. Sure, her brother who escaped the cult might be willing to help her out in the short term if she were to leave Joshley, but even if her brother is a saint, he is probably not willing to seriously financially support Anna AND the M kids until they are adults, which is fair enough. I have no doubt he loves his sister and wants to help her escape Joshley, but 'hey bro, can you feed/house/clothe me and my 4 kids for like, the next 18 years' is a HUGE ask. 

So like you say, she'll eventually have to step up to the plate and work to help pay for the kids and she's probably going to really struggle with this. In a world where articulate and intelligent graduates with masters degrees and extensive work/interning experience are struggling to find work, what hope does poor Anna have being almost 30 years old with a SOTDRT GED and 0 work experience in her life. If she were able to get work, it would be very low skilled work and would probably not pay enough to support herself and 4 kids. And give that she is a public figure and 'controversial by association', I don't think any customer facing jobs would want to touch her, and with low skilled work, that substantially limits her options. 

If she has any understanding of that, she might have decided that playing supportive wife is her 'best' option. It may not be what she want, but it might be what she feels she has to do. She wouldn't be the first woman to 'suck it up' in a miserable marriage because she knows leaving her douchebag husband would have her and her kids on the express train to poverty. And Anna has BEEN poor. She probably doesn't want that for her kids. (I'd say 'better poor than molested' but Anna's brainwashing means she thinks the molestation is all forgiven and now a non issue). 

[Gossamer1]

what hope does poor Anna have being almost 30 years old with aSOTDRT GED and 0 work experience in her life.

I believe she also has a bachelor's "degree" from fundie correspondence college. I think it's either English or Education but my quick Google didn't turn up anything.

[ksgranola1]

It's Community College and Early Childhood ed.

[MyMilkshake]

There's a possibility that Anna was completely blindsided by the Ashley Madison news. Discovering that your husband has a secret life is devastating for anyone. It's hard to wrap your head around the thought that someone loved and trusted, someone you thought you knew has betrayed you and does things that are completely opposite of what you'd expect from him.
I had a rough time accepting that the man I married wasn't who I thought-  I loved that man. But in reality he wasn't who I thought he was. But that old image I had of him was hard to let go of because it would mean everything I'd had before was only a lie. I had supportive friends and family but it was still difficult to get through. I can't imagine how conflicting and confusing it would be to move forward within the confines of a cult.

[Lewy]

I believe she also has a bachelor's "degree" from fundie correspondence college. I think it's either English or Education but my quick Google didn't turn up anything.

I didn't know that, but either way, it probably means shit in the world outside the GotHard bubble, same way Clown college degrees don't mean crap. 

[gustava]

No offense anyone but the phrase "drinking the kool-aid" is getting way over used. Not only that, it's actually insensitive to the people that were murdered at Jonestown. They had guns pointed at them to drink it. It wasn't just kooks that fell for a belief system.

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/18/the-phrase-drank-the-koolaid-is-completely-offensive-we-should-stop-saying-it-immediately/

We've had this discussion on FJ several times, in different contexts, and while I tend to agree with you, I think the term has now passed into the mainstream, divorced from it's original context.  <not snarking, just remarking>

[happy atheist]

Part 3: http://www.freejinger.org/topic/24834-anna-duggar-and-the-m-kids-part-3/