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happy atheist

Jill Rodrigues Part 8 - The 12 Labors of Jerkules

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DowntownAbbey

I guess I will bravely watch and summarize the whole video. If I'm not back in a couple of hours, send in the rescue ferrets. :ferret:

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Tired
HermioneSparrow
the makeup video - I can't snark, it's too much!!!

I'm watching it at work and I have to stop, I'm hyperventilating from too much repressed laughter !!!!

48 minutes of biblical makeup - stop, it's too much!

Jill thinks she's a real cosmetologIst, lol... Her narcissism is through the roof!

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FundieFarmer

Oh boy oh boy. I'll watch it soon. I wonder if I'll learn anything.

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Waffle Time
formergothardite

I have made it to the 24 second mark where she says she was encouraged to make a "small little video". This thing is over 45 minutes long! This is not what people were encouraging you to do Jill!

I'm worried about DowntownAbbey if she watches this whole thing. 48 minutes of Jill Rodrigues is just not healthy for anyone. ~Hugs~ DA, you are going to need it.

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NotALoserLikeYou

Any tutorial that starts off with, "first I put on my GREEN EYELINER" is going to be amazing.

Fast forward the first 12 minutes of babbling.

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NotALoserLikeYou

Next step: apply BLUSH to cheeks...nose and EYES. And forehead and chin.

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Tired
HermioneSparrow

I finished the whole video... I think my IQ just dropped to zero :lol:

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Rear Window
Oh boy oh boy. I'll watch it soon. I wonder if I'll learn anything.

Hopefully how NOT to apply makeup or do your hair.

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Waffle Time
formergothardite

Thank you to all the members who sacrificed brain cells to watch that video. :D It seems like they are still living in the RV. I wonder when they will be able to move into the house.

Does she use a ton of hairspray on her hair? It always looks to me like she does and I can't imagine how the RV would smell with lots of hairspray being used on a daily basis.

I do need make-up tips, but I don't think I need to learn from Jill.

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older than allosaurs

I bounced along to the out-of-the-shower, no makeup part. She's a pretty woman before all that spackle. Watching that eyeliner go on will haunt my dreams.

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Miss M
I have made it to the 24 second mark where she says she was encouraged to make a "small little video". This thing is over 45 minutes long! This is not what people were encouraging you to do Jill!

I'm worried about DowntownAbbey if she watches this whole thing. 48 minutes of Jill Rodrigues is just not healthy for anyone. ~Hugs~ DA, you are going to need it.

This, and if she opened her eyes any farther they would drop out and roll down the steps of the RV!!

Also if "God" can see your heart why do you need to Spackle all that on, I haven't worn make up in over 10 years, I don't get any complaints from the men!!

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HarryPotterFan

I'm curious but I don't wanna watch because wasting 48 minutes of my life doesn't sound fun. How do biblical makeup and curling iron go together? Did Mary have a curling iron?

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NotALoserLikeYou
I bounced along to the out-of-the-shower, no makeup part. She's a pretty woman before all that spackle. Watching that eyeliner go on will haunt my dreams.

I agree she is pretty. And makeup and hair would look nice IF it were a current style instead of 1990.

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thoughtful

I went looking for the captioning button, but it seems to be disabled (hi, Jill!).

But I did find out that I could double the speed of the video. Besides making it half as long, it makes it more amusing than depressing.

This one is another goldmine for screenshots, folks.

She had to do the 12-minute first segment fully made-up, then wash up and start from scratch. I don't know if she felt naked without the makeup, or just thought people wouldn't recognize her.

I think she looks prettier, and much younger, with a naked face. But then comes enough green eyeliner for an army, and Jill starts to disappear under the spackle.

She leaves the curling iron heating and walks away from it, which I assume is a usual thing, in that tin box full of children. :evil-eye:

Did you know that glamour to the point of being vain and making men lust after you, versus being a frump, is like a teeter-totter?

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FundieFarmer

Down the rabbit hole too, DowntownAbbey.

Here goes, with a nice Reformed spin on it. First fifth:

+She's been asked to do a post on how to stay beautiful the way God created us to be.

+Some women think about their looks all the time.

+She makes a good point on things a SO can do to make you feel he's making an effort.

+We need to make the men in our lives feel special by how we take care of ourselves.

+I keep thinking she is saying "bay-lands" instead of balance.

+Vanity is something that won't last for eternity.

+She just used KJV English. IRL.

+If we are vain with the thought of honoring our husbands, it will have eternal value. (FF Side Note [TM]: Mr FF is wondering wtf I'm watching. "Innnnterestinggggg.")

+Does she wear pants in private?

+Deuteronomy, Deuterotomy, potatoes, potahtos...

+Scolding face about gender separation.

+100 years ago was about when women started wearing pants, at the advent of WWI as they had to take on their husbands' jobs. In the 20s, it became a fashion statement in leisurewear. But what do I know, I only took one course on fashion management.

+(FF Side Note [TM]: Mr FF is now making faces of confusion. He jokingly advises I should live up to her standards before going to tinker away at things in his study. He is not concerned at how amusing I find this. He is concerned about the baby cage following the quick summary I gave him).

+She is using this Ezekiel verse in direct contradiction to what St Paul had to say about drawing attention to themselves. These fundies sure do love them some OT.

+Don't use your beauty for whoredom, kids.

+It's your fault if men lust after you if you aren't adorned modestly, but if you are and they keep looking, well then, that's their sin.

I now understand why they're so overzealous about being fancy and frilly: they're trying to outdo what God did for Israel.

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DowntownAbbey

OKAY.

v2heyxF.gif

I'm going to separate my summary into three parts: Scripture Stuff, Makeup Mess, and Hair I-can't-think-of-a-snarky-word-that-starts-with-an-H. If it takes me a while to get each part up, it's because I got distracted by Reno 911! which I'm using for recovery. :lol:

Disclaimer: I know jack shit about makeup and hair. Most of my knowledge comes from What Not To Wear. :lol:

Scripture Stuff

Jill, I don’t think the makeup tutorial suggestion was a serious one.

Jill talks about women being focused on their looks. This makes us off balanced and we also need to focus on our religious/spiritual life too. But women also need to look pretty for their men. Looking pretty and taking care of ourselves as women is the equivalent to men bringing home flowers for their women. It’s “cultivating the relationship.â€

Vanities are things that don’t have eternal value. But what Jill talking about isn’t vanity because it’s done for men. But cover up and be modest. Must look like ladies and wear skirts, but that’s a personal choice but here’s a reference to Deuteronomy about wearing gendered clothing. Jill and David try hard not to judge others. But the Rodrigueses don’t want to “blaspheme†against God by the way they dress.

We have to look pretty but not cause other men to lust in their hearts. Typical fundie drivel continues featuring the book of Ezekiel. It’s in KJV so I’m not even trying to comprehend it. The gist is, I guess, God made Jerusalem look beautiful. The Bible talks about Jerusalem being like a woman. Therefore, women were made by God to look beautiful.

Looking frumpy is not a good balance because women need to look good for their husbands.

Jill loves pastries, but we need to eat healthy because balance. Segue into some health and fitness advice. She’s had 12 births and 5 miscarriages (5? I didn’t know it was that high.) so she think she’s never getting back to her pre-17 pregnancies bod. But we should love how God made us and work with what we’ve got.

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thoughtful

Does she use a ton of hairspray on her hair?

I'd define it as a ton, but I haven't used it since my theater days, so I have no idea what is normal.

I was coughing just watching the video.

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DowntownAbbey

Makeup Mess

Holy shit, Jill without makeup!

You don’t have to buy name brand make up, but sometimes it’s okay because gotta have unplugged pores.

  • First thing to apply is green eyeliner. There’s like a minute or two for this step.
  • Now mascara time. “Just a quick little coat.†And then you let the first coat dry.
  • Now blush time. Contour your face with it. David shows up who is bringing Jill her nutrition drink. Pure vegetables. Blush ends up going like everywhere. Blush helps get rid of her double chin.
  • Now time for some different eyeliner for the eyebrows. She and the girls sometimes share makeup.
  • Lip stain instead of lipstick so she doesn’t get lipstick on David. Let it dry and then do top coat.
  • Eye shadow time. Light color for below the eyebrows and corner of eyes. Darker color for below the light color. And then an even darker color for below that. Her eyes are big so she’s trying to shadow them so they don’t look so big. She has a cold right now so her eyes are different than normal. Sofia makes hunger cries, but the makeup tutorial must go on!
  • Eye lash curler for obvious reasons. Putting the mascara on first helps them stay up better, or something like that.
  • Then another coat of mascara.
  • Very last step: powder/foundation. Which you can spend money on. Doesn’t use liquid because of skin sensitivities. This seals in the makeup and gives you a finished look. You don’t want to look gaudy, but have balance.

Plug in the curling iron cause it’s hair time! She likes the half-inch size.

Be sure to have a good facial lotion to start off with before the makeup.

post-10580-14452000642223_thumb.jpg

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DowntownAbbey

Hair I-can't-think-of-a-snarky-word-that-starts-with-an-H

Sofia gets fed while the iron gets hot and Jill’s hair finishes drying. Curl the bangs. Take small sections and curl. Jill layers her hair. She flips her head upside down and fingers through her hair instead of brushing. Then tease with a brush.

One of the kids wants attention. Mom will be right there after finishing her hair with almost 20 minutes left in the video.

Hairspray time, but she appears to use less that helmet-haired Jim Bob. She clips one part of her hair for some reason or another.

She says she’s out of time with like 17 minutes left to go…

Now she’s washed her hair again so it’s time for a quicker way to do hair. She has on a #1 mom shirt but she doesn’t think she’s the #1 mom. There are better moms out there, according to her.

Mousse is involved in this hairdo. Her hair looks really good straight. Blow dry time. She says stuff, but I can’t understand her because of the blow dryer. Something, something, roots, something, something, scrunch, something, something, hold. And repeat. The bed is kinda messy and very utilized. :o But it’s from people taking naps. :lol:

Use the cool setting once you think your done to cement your hairstyle. Headband time. Flip your hair upside down and put it on. OR you can do clips/bobby pins. And I’m not sure what’s going on for a minute or two, but I think it’s her doing a bunch of clips. Teasing time again for the bangs. Hair spray time. Still seems like less usage than JB.

And she uses a mirror to make sure it’s all put together. (Hint: It doesn’t in my opinion.)

Remember to work with what God gave you! Bible time again. Men aren’t supposed to have long hair, that’s for women. You’re also supposed to keep your ears and neck covered. People who can’t have long hair are exempt. SUDDEN BREAK because the camera ran out of memory.

Mini clothing tutorial. Wear modest clothing. Follow your intuition here. Skirts should go below your knee, even when sitting. If not, men can look up your skirt. Jill organizes her outfits and currently she has out her summer skinny clothes. She sometimes puts her jewelry with her outfits to make it even simpler. Be sure to rotate outfits.

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salex

This, and if she opened her eyes any farther they would drop out and roll down the steps of the RV!!

Also if "God" can see your heart why do you need to Spackle all that on, I haven't worn make up in over 10 years, I don't get any complaints from the men!!

Based on my randomized viewing of the first 12 minutes, it is to make sure that people recognize the difference between men and women... or some such.

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FundieFarmer

Also, Downtown, not at all trying to step on your toes! This is only extra interesting to me because I have this very reformed and southern background that has a completely different take on modesty and yet also emphasizes being perfect for your SO to keep him around. Oh, and also because everything I know about beauty and makeup I learned from my sorority sisters, so I actually might learn something. Legit never touched a straightener until 4 years ago. SO this fascinates me, truly.

2/5:

+Actually, her makeup does look fine in this clip! Maybe a bit heavy, but the colors are good with her coloring.

+If you think Princess Kate catches it for being a bad influence on getting back to your pre-baby bod quickly, you ain't seen nothin' till you've seen JR.

+Oh, no makeup. Wow! Actually, she's cute.

+She's taken a very Erin Paine route. I want to know who requested this.

+She has more makeup than I do...

+Chartreuse, or olive? Interesting. It's olive. Maybe hunter. Very green. No blending sponge either.

+Nurie's hair looks good. Oh, that's Kaylee.

+First coat of mascara? How many are there?

+Jill contours! The fundie KimK! Yaaas!

+(FF Side Note [TM]: Mr. FF is now watching a decidedly manly show on TV, and I'm watching Jill R's makeup tips. We are both crying of laughter.)

+We're seeing an honest part of Jill. I kind of like this.

+Wait. Foundation?

+I am also in the light eyebrow club. But that is not how I out mine one.

+(FF Side Note [TM]: Mr FF is looking over. "why...what...zombie lessons? Why is she doing this? (Pause) I can't watch this anymore. This woman is creeping me out. She clearly doesn't know what anything is. WHAT IS HAPPENING.")

+Girl. No. Like, eyeshadow goes on first, and then when you're done with the eyeball you clean up the surrounding area before going on to foundation. I...what.)

+(FF Side Note [TM]: Mr FF keeps imitating their breathy yeahs, knowing that's how they actually talk.)

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DowntownAbbey

FF, don't worry about it at all! I'm interested to see what other people have to say about the video. Plus I'm not able to having these wonderful side notes you're able to have with Mr FF. :lol:

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salex
Thank you to all the members who sacrificed brain cells to watch that video. :D It seems like they are still living in the RV. I wonder when they will be able to move into the house.

Does she use a ton of hairspray on her hair? It always looks to me like she does and I can't imagine how the RV would smell with lots of hairspray being used on a daily basis.

I do need make-up tips, but I don't think I need to learn from Jill.

It seemed like she used a lot of hairspray, and she back combs a lot too. I watched the part where she was applying mousse.... 2 golf ball sized globs (maybe bigger) and then another big handfull .... obviously, I"ve never used enough mousse...

BTW, anyone-- was she in a house during the blow drying/#1 mom segment, as there seemed to be some kind of wood trim around the door.... where ever it was it was way too crowded. OK, I skipped around enough I do think it was the RV.

Edited to add. Do people still "Scrunch" hair? She looked better with less make up and less teasing (teasing?) and curling her hair. She not only gilds the rose, she spray paints it and then laminates it.

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FundieFarmer

3/5. I actually learned some things, and I have some actual questions. So if anyone wants to advise...

+Oh fuck this. Mr. FF keeps reaching over and muting the computer. He's over it.

+What is that squeaky noise? Oh. The baby. Uh.

+How are we only 20 minutes in?

+I would lose mascara too in this bag.

+Jill, it's been longer than 5 minutes.

+How did the cosmetology school she went to work? This is exactly opposite of what they taught me at the Bloomie's makeup counter I went to that one time.

+Wait, your child is hungry, and you're on to hair?

+How many curling irons do you have?

+Your hair looks so good straight!

+(FF Side Note [TM]: Mr FF cannot contain his confusion and laughter, especially because this is not like what he's used to my makeup routine looking like.)

+She might do well with hot curlers, actually.

+Hmm. I usually do underneath first. Am I doing this wrong?

+So many bows, it looks like a sorority convention!

+Maybe I should incorporate teasing into my hair. I usually use a volumizing spray for that.

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DowntownAbbey

I just wanted to add this: No make up Jill reminds me of Christine Brown from Sister Wives. That is all.

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