Bonnie at A Knotted Life is pregnant again

[singsingsing]

aknottedlife.com/

This is the woman who has detailed at great length her never-ending struggles with her weight, with severe post-partum depression, total inability to find any method of NFP that works for her, the strain on her marriage caused by this, and her terror at the idea of becoming pregnant again. Her third child was a home birth gone wrong - he was born without a heartbeat and was resuscitated after 60 minutes. She attributes this to a miracle performed by Fulton Sheen and has spoken at length about it (she's heavily into campaigning for Fulton Sheen to become a saint due to her son's alleged miracle). She has sacrificed her health, her sanity, and probably a good part of her relationship with her husband and her children at the altar of orthodox Catholicism. I'm sad but not surprised to see she's pregnant with another baby which will more likely than not set back all the progress she's made in the areas she's been struggling with.

She comes across as a nice, down-to-earth kind of woman, but the few people who have left (very polite, very loving) comments trying to encourage her to rethink her extreme stance on reproduction have been met with really rude, condescending, and angry responses from her. I think she's very insecure and defensive but she's completely unwilling to rethink her position, even for her family's sake or her own sake. She's built her entire identity and image around being a Perfect Conservative Catholic.

Well, good luck, Bonnie. When you're miserable about your health and your weight, when you're traumatized after another birth, suffering from postpartum depression again, when you're afraid to have sex with your husband because you might get pregnant and repeat the whole cycle all over again, when you're too exhausted, depressed, and anxious to feel like you're being a good mother to the children you already have, I hope you find solace in your golden ticket to heaven.

[LaLele]

I think Bonnie *used* to be down to earth and nice, but I think orthodox Catholicism has not done her any favors in these 2 departments. I think I have mentioned before on here that I used to know her in college. Nice girl. Fun girl. Can't remember hearing a judgmental word out the woman's mouth. Now? Reading her blog, I cannot stomach her. So bitter and rabid against women's rights, as well as LGBT rights. We used to have some mutual friends, but she has pushed out a lot of the more mainstream, grounded people in order to hang with a few Super Catholics. There aren't a ton in her small town, but they band together.

Yes, she is doing herself in with the multiple pregnancies and hoards of children, but I no longer feel sorry for her like I used to. She made her bed and is choosing to get pregnant in it again and again.

[defraudingjezebel]

Damn. I've never come across this lady before but I feel overwhelmingly sad for her. I've skimmed a few of her posts under the "motherhood" category of her blog and they all have a very overwhelmed and angry tone about them. She is overwhelmed with her children, and angry at others who seem to have a perfect life. I don't understand why some people would adhere to religious principles that cause them so much misery. She throws herself into the Fulton Sheen canonization business to keep herself busy and feel like her pain has some meaning but damn. She just seems so overwhelmingly unhappy and angry towards her own circumstances. This is why birth control is truly one of the most feminist inventions- it allows a woman to take control of her own fertility and be freed from the dangers and obligations of childbirth and childrearing.

[Geechee Girl]

I'm unfamiliar with this fundie. Looks like I have a new rabbit hole to veer down. Who is Fulton Sheen?

[Jana814]

I'm unfamiliar with this fundie. Looks like I have a new rabbit hole to veer down. Who is Fulton Sheen?

I'm unfamiliar with this person also. How many kids does this woman already have.

[Idolatry]

Awesome. I'm excited to see a fundie catholic!

Catholic is very foreign from my fundie upbringing, so I've always been intrigued. I've read some theology, but not a blog like this obsessed with the window dressing part: feast days, fasting, genuflection, rosaries, and similar. And an obsession with making someone a saint? LOL.

Love it, thanks for the intro.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Damn. I've never come across this lady before but I feel overwhelmingly sad for her. I've skimmed a few of her posts under the "motherhood" category of her blog and they all have a very overwhelmed and angry tone about them. She is overwhelmed with her children, and angry at others who seem to have a perfect life. I don't understand why some people would adhere to religious principles that cause them so much misery. She throws herself into the Fulton Sheen canonization business to keep herself busy and feel like her pain has some meaning but damn. She just seems so overwhelmingly unhappy and angry towards her own circumstances. This is why birth control is truly one of the most feminist inventions- it allows a woman to take control of her own fertility and be freed from the dangers and obligations of childbirth and childrearing.

God bless birth control! :clap: :D

[J'Lurker]

Great. Now I'm going to have to explain why I'm obsessively reading about a crazy Catholic woman.

[PennySycamore]

I'm unfamiliar with this fundie. Looks like I have a new rabbit hole to veer down. Who is Fulton Sheen?

Bishop Fulton Sheen had a very popular show on TV in the 50s (Life is Worth Living, wrote a ton of books starting in the 20s and did such things as give donated powdered milk to the poor and oppose the Vietnam War. He served as bishop of Rochester, New York for a number of years. He died in 1979. I'm not sure why he'd be popular with a very conservative Catholic.

The Wikipedia article actually mentions the incident with Bonnie's baby:

Fulton J Sheen

The efforts to canonize him have been suspended.

[nausicaa]

Thanks for the update Sing. I binge read her blog awhile back and will now need to do so again.

I have such mixed feelings about Bonnie. On one hand she seems really nice and down to earth, and open about her struggles. On the other it is so clear that this is not working, and is not good for her health or her family. I didn't realize she had become more anti-LGBT and anti-feminism on her blog. The lack of that was one thing I always appreciated about her. (Though her comment once that referring to her as "Ms. So and So" is an insult to her husband really did make me :roll: )

And for the person who asked, Fulton Sheen was an American Catholic bishop, very popular in the mid 20th century because of his radio and TV programs where he "broke down" the problems of the day. You can still catch black and white reruns on EWTN. He's always standing in front of a blackboard, writing on it (and it's the old slate kind, so his chalk moves so smoothly on it, which always impressed me :lol: )

[busdrivingmom]

Just went to the site and its down. Darn, wanted to read about a fundie Catholic. I'm Catholic and never really encountered one.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I guess Bonnie could be friends with Abigail. :lol:

[memabelle]

I was raised Catholic and have come across many a fundie Catholic - for all of their claiming that Catholics aren't Christians, evangelical fundies and Catholic fundies have a lot (though obviously not everything) in common - husband as head of the family, modest dress, no (or very limited) birth control options, very anti-LGBT rights, very by-the-Book (meaning the Bible)...I guess they figure it's a guaranteed ticket to heaven, otherwise I don't see the appeal of it at all, even though I was heading in that direction at one point myself. But I'll never understand why they think living the way they do, especially if it makes them so miserable, makes them better Christians or better people then everybody else...hoping the blog is back up, curious to check it out.

[memabelle]

Wow...emerging from that rabbit hole for a bathroom break. Sounds like so many people (women) I knew in college (Catholic college, of course) who have families like this now. Her kids are cute, but she sounds miserable...what's the appeal of this lifestyle again???

[Georgiana]

Wow...emerging from that rabbit hole for a bathroom break. Sounds like so many people (women) I knew in college (Catholic college, of course) who have families like this now. Her kids are cute, but she sounds miserable...what's the appeal of this lifestyle again???

You get to feel morally superior to everyone else and make snide comments about your Superior and more Godly life.

Source: was raised Fundie-light Catholic, some of my oldest friends have gone Fundie Catholic, my family observes feast days, fasting, carries rosaries, the whole 9. I do too, sometimes, but more out of a cultural love for my family than a religious devotion.

[Idolatry]

Wow, this was a fun rabbit hole.

I had no idea there's actually an official church process to get a church-approved miracle, and the church actually approved that some dead televangelist bishop officially brought her "stillborn" baby back to life.

And that people will pay for you to come talk about this church-approved miracle! :shock:

If I met someone who told me this story IRL I would have trouble keeping a straight face.

[LaLele]

Bishop Fulton Sheen had a very popular show on TV in the 50s (Life is Worth Living, wrote a ton of books starting in the 20s and did such things as give donated powdered milk to the poor and oppose the Vietnam War. He served as bishop of Rochester, New York for a number of years. He died in 1979. I'm not sure why he'd be popular with a very conservative Catholic.

The Wikipedia article actually mentions the incident with Bonnie's baby:

Fulton J Sheen

The efforts to canonize him have been suspended.

I think it is the local connection that has her obsessed with him. Fulton Sheen was with the Peoria Diocese for a long while and still has a strong local presence. The biggest hospital in Peoria, and the one where Bonnie's baby was taken to, is a Catholic hospital and Sheen's pic is on a couple walls.

[salex]

Welll, I read a few of her posts. OK, Mommy blogger stuff, then the "We didn't have sex for 4 months and after this kid we won't have sex for months and months to avoid having another baby ....

This would be why the RC people I know likely us contraceptives (since they mostly have 2 kids in their household) or, maybe they had fertility problems OR maybe they were able to play Vatican Roulette and come out winners (yes, I know NFP can be done well, despite this blogger.)

Are married fundamentalist RC not allowed to do hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, anal, whatever, to continue a version of a sex life if they aren't wanting kids?

[FakePigtails]

Welll, I read a few of her posts. OK, Mommy blogger stuff, then the "We didn't have sex for 4 months and after this kid we won't have sex for months and months to avoid having another baby ....

This would be why the RC people I know likely us contraceptives (since they mostly have 2 kids in their household) or, maybe they had fertility problems OR maybe they were able to play Vatican Roulette and come out winners (yes, I know NFP can be done well, despite this blogger.)

Are married fundamentalist RC not allowed to do hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, anal, whatever, to continue a version of a sex life if they aren't wanting kids?

Nope: http://www.catechism.cc/articles/QA.htm

Unnatural sexual acts (oral sex, anal sex, and manipulative sex, i.e. masturbation of self or of another) are intrinsically evil and always gravely immoral because these acts are not unitive and procreative.

[singsingsing]

How anyone can be told that giving their husband a handjob or performing oral sex on their wife is "intrinsicallyevil" and nod their heads and think, "Yes, that's very true, the Pope's got it right" is absolutely incredible.

I guess some people truly feel the need for a great amount of control in their lives, and they will latch onto systems like this, regardless of the damage they cause. I think a lot of people try out fundamentalism and find it doesn't work for them because of b.s. like this, and leave it. The people who try it and stick with it are the truly troubling ones, especially when they drag several kids into the mess (like Bonnie).

[mockingbird]

How anyone can be told that giving their husband a handjob or performing oral sex on their wife is "intrinsicallyevil" and nod their heads and think, "Yes, that's very true, the Pope's got it right" is absolutely incredible.

I guess some people truly feel the need for a great amount of control in their lives, and they will latch onto systems like this, regardless of the damage they cause. I think a lot of people try out fundamentalism and find it doesn't work for them because of b.s. like this, and leave it. The people who try it and stick with it are the truly troubling ones, especially when they drag several kids into the mess (like Bonnie).

Yeah, I followed Bonnie's blog a little since I was big on Catholic All Year for awhile (she is another fundie Catholic who tends to be more rational, but I'm a little burnt out on her right now). I think it is particularly sad when people feel the need to stick to a system like this when it is clearly not working for them or in their best interest. Another example is that lady who has the clotting disorder yet continues to get pregnant - I can't remember her name (Jen something?) but she is also Catholic and had a short-lived reality TV series that I binged on a few months ago. She even received dispensation (permission) from a priest to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT besides NFP but decided the priest was a heathen. Maybe it's not my right to judge what's in someone else's best interest... but when you are putting your life and family at risk I think it's a significant consideration.

I know I tend to like rules but that trying to live up to fundy specifications wouldn't turn out well. I'm Catholic, and growing up there was never any emphasis on following the Catechism to the letter, even among people who were more strict on things like following rules for Lent. There was a big emphasis on service/volunteering or at least, "loving your neighbor"/being welcoming and helpful to everyone. (And the vast majority of women used birth control.) I had to make a conscious decision to continue that perspective as an adult or else I knew I'd be miserable. I met some fundy Catholics after moving to a different area of the country after college, and being surrounded by more "traditional" churches (both in just the values the priests preach as well as officially Traditional churches that do the Latin mass and everything) is the main reason I don't go to church regularly anymore. Loved my Jesuit college and wish I could go to a Jesuit parish again and/or am waiting for the schism when they and the feminist nuns decide they've had enough.

[CaptainFunderpants]

Just went to the site and its down. Darn, wanted to read about a fundie Catholic. I'm Catholic and never really encountered one.

You have to put in the 'www' or else it doesn't work, FWIW.

[singsingsing]

Another example is that lady who has the clotting disorder yet continues to get pregnant - I can't remember her name (Jen something?) but she is also Catholic and had a short-lived reality TV series that I binged on a few months ago. She even received dispensation (permission) from a priest to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT besides NFP but decided the priest was a heathen. Maybe it's not my right to judge what's in someone else's best interest... but when you are putting your life and family at risk I think it's a significant consideration.

That's Jen Fulwiler over at Conversion Diary. She drives me insane, too. Orthodox Catholicism seemed to be her reaction to her disillusionment with her high-flying materialistic atheist lifestyle, but she went way off the deep end. The totally blase attitude she has toward her disorder is actually shocking. She could very well die, leave her husband without a wife and her 5? or is it 6, now? children without a mother. It's not just that she won't use birth control, it's that she actually thinks it's cute/funny that she's bad at NFP. When pregnancy = great expense, exhaustion, and possibly death. She came pretty close to dying last time.

This is also the woman who said, with great gravity (as she, the convert, was elucidating on how to be a proper Catholic) that questioning the Church = questioning God. There is no difference between the Church and God in her eyes. Holy moly. She is one who I really, REALLY hope NEVER gets pregnant again.

[mockingbird]

That's Jen Fulwiler over at Conversion Diary. She drives me insane, too. Orthodox Catholicism seemed to be her reaction to her disillusionment with her high-flying materialistic atheist lifestyle, but she went way off the deep end. The totally blase attitude she has toward her disorder is actually shocking. She could very well die, leave her husband without a wife and her 5? or is it 6, now? children without a mother. It's not just that she won't use birth control, it's that she actually thinks it's cute/funny that she's bad at NFP. When pregnancy = great expense, exhaustion, and possibly death. She came pretty close to dying last time.

This is also the woman who said, with great gravity (as she, the convert, was elucidating on how to be a proper Catholic) that questioning the Church = questioning God. There is no difference between the Church and God in her eyes. Holy moly. She is one who I really, REALLY hope NEVER gets pregnant again.

YES. OMG she makes me so mad. I read like half her blog at that time because I was fascinated by her but her situation is definitely a train wreck.

And Monica on Touched by an Angel comforted a character once by saying, "it takes great faith to be angry at God" (as in, the alternative was to give up). That's good enough for me :lol: I think it is true though that it's OK to question your faith and be angry, if they are true to you then you will just come back to them wiser and have stronger faith in them IMO. I also think maybe going through Catholic school and learning about the history of the church, you definitely realize it was not always right and things change as cultures/knowledge change so maybe she doesn't have that perspective as a convert? Though a lot of these women are not converts.

[Idolatry]

How anyone can be told that giving their husband a handjob or performing oral sex on their wife is "intrinsicallyevil" and nod their heads and think, "Yes, that's very true, the Pope's got it right" is absolutely incredible.

Stupid sexual rules make a lot more sense to me than a dead televangelist healing a stillborn. But I might be biased with my also sexually obsessed fundie upbringing.