Jim Bob Turns 50 July 12

[grandmadugger]

Dang, we got cheated (hah!) out of a VSE centered around JB that we all know would have really centered and turned into yet another all about Michelle train wreck. Plus the obligatory bday party with the kids singing and doing skits with a touching tribute from friends ala the episode for Gil Bates on Bringing up Bates.

That would require JB to have friends.

[The Duggar's Mohel]

Jim Bob's B'day always fills me with angst, I mean what do you buy a cult leader these days?

[tulip]

She will not be getting pregnant without help:

from: .babycenter.com/0_age-and-fertility-getting-pregnant-in-your-40s_1494699.bc

To the quoted material. This makes total sense to me, but if it were to happen to someone, that someone would probably be Michelle Duggar. She is fertile beyond belief. Can you imagine if she hadn't used the ebil pill before Josh, they would have had 3 or 4 more on the front end!

Edit: fixed quotes

[Four is Enough]

Please, God, not another family variety show!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I just saw that Sophie b. Hawkins (singer) gave birth the other day at age 50 but she used an implanted embryo. There is no way michelle is getting pregnant...unless God gives them a miracle. I hope she just focuses on her little kids.

[balsamicvinegar]

Jim Bob's B'day always fills me with angst, I mean what do you buy a cult leader these days?

Cult leader? Surely you jest... thats wayy too much credit for him. I doubt he'd be able to convince a toddler to listen to him.

[Sundaymorning]

Cult leader? Surely you jest... thats wayy too much credit for him. I doubt he'd be able to convince a toddler to listen to him.

Well, he has done a marvelous job fucking up his children's lifes and futures so far. Unfortunately, they do seem to listen to him.

[guitar_villain]

Pregnancy is all they're known for. A pregnancy at 50 will break records. Especially since they can now claim they have 20 children that came out of J'chelle vaginal hole. JB would be standing next to her with that stupid grin on his face like he accomplished something.

Not sure why it would break records. 50 is hardly old if you're willing to push the limits of tech. Back when we were doing the infertility shuffle in the late 1990s, our RE had a bunch of newspapers up on the wall about a 63-year-old who was one of his patients. He wouldn't have done it if she'd been honest about her age (she lied and claimed to be 55) but it was doable then with donor eggs. Checking the Googles, it looks like there are 59-year-olds who have done it with their own eggs and hormone replacement therapy. I wouldn't be surprised if J&M were trying this route.

[JenniferJuniper]

To the quoted material. This makes total sense to me, but if it were to happen to someone, that someone would probably be Michelle Duggar. She is fertile beyond belief. Can you imagine if she hadn't used the ebil pill before Josh, they would have had 3 or 4 more on the front end!

Edit: fixed quotes

She was fertile beyond belief. Partly possibly because her periods were so regular that she was able to use timing to get pregnant and probably because she weened early and/or was just one of those women who got pregnant routinely while breastfeeding. And four of her children were the result of two pregnancies.

But none of this changes the fact that her eggs are 49 years old. Old eggs are damaged eggs, and it's nearly impossible to get pregnant when what's left (assuming she's even still ovulating some of the time) is old and damaged.

Her last full-term baby was born over 6 1/2 years ago. She and Jim Bob will keep trying until one of them drops, but the odds of her getting pregnant with own eggs and then staying pregnant to viability are extraordinarily slim and they get slimmer every month.

[tulip]

She was fertile beyond belief. Partly possibly because her periods were so regular that she was able to use timing to get pregnant and probably because she weened early and/or was just one of those women who got pregnant routinely while breastfeeding. And four of her children were the result of two pregnancies.

But none of this changes the fact that her eggs are 49 years old. Old eggs are damaged eggs, and it's nearly impossible to get pregnant when what's left (assuming she's even still ovulating some of the time) is old and damaged.

Her last full-term baby was born over 6 1/2 years ago. She and Jim Bob will keep trying until one of them drops, but the odds of her getting pregnant with own eggs and then staying pregnant to viability are extraordinarily slim and they get slimmer every month.

Oh I completely agree. I'm just saying, with her past, I think she could be one of those extremely unlikely instances. I wouldn't be shocked in the least. And I agree, I don't think it'd end well, if it were to happen.

[DeFrauder]

I agree too. She was super fertile and just might be one of the 1% of women who manage to get pregnant after 45. The chance of having a healthy baby are really low.

Plus, now they are saying that old man sperm is substandard too.

[ClaraOswin]

With such a large gap since her last child...I say there's no way she's getting pregnant again. And if she did, I have a hard time believing she'd be able to bring it to term. Her body has got to be a disaster.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I wonder what extravaganza we missed with the show being off the air. Surely the re-useable decorations would be hauled out, the ice cream sandwich cake made and frozen burgers would be reheated on the grill in honor of Daddy's big 5-0? Michael would have been there shouting "Pee-paw is FIFFY" Josie would have thrown kisses and we'd have had an hour the "wisdom" of Jim-Bob.

Yeah....missed nothing.....

[MatthewDuggar]

I wonder what extravaganza we missed with the show being off the air. Surely the re-useable decorations would be hauled out, the ice cream sandwich cake made and frozen burgers would be reheated on the grill in honor of Daddy's big 5-0? Michael would have been there shouting "Pee-paw is FIFFY" Josie would have thrown kisses and we'd have had an hour the "wisdom" of Jim-Bob.

Yeah....missed nothing.....

Don't forget J'Chelle wandering around in a medicated stupor talking to herself in baby-speak and daydreaming about being pregnant. (Dressed in jean skirt and lime green blouse with hair crunchier than ever because Boob likes it that way)

[jendall]

When Michelle & JB visited the fertility clinic last year(?), the subject of IVF with donor eggs must have been discussed off camera.

I wonder why JB didnt jump at a chance for #20, back then? I'm sure he'd pass along the expense to TLC.

[HereticHick]

I hope they recycled 50 of Sierra's flamingos as part of the decorations. Now that the TLC spigot is drying up, they need to start cutting back! :lol:

[Jentacular]

A perfect #JimBob50 VSE script just landed in my head via one of those crazy, 1980-esque dream sequences:

The family decides to construct and gift a mini golf course to JB, since it's where he is his most virile (cue dry humping flashbacks). PapaD is sent on a getaway to Egypt ... As in the unincorporated community in northern Wharton County in the U.S. state of Texas. (There's a statue of Moses there somewhere.)

Back at the TTH backyard, the DuggarBoys take charge. How hard can it be to build one of these from a 9-hole kit they found online? Bonus: The first 9-hole Kit they ordered was shipped without a windmill on Hole 6, so they receive a second for FREE and can extend the course to regulation size!

Hilarity ensues when the Lost Boys lay the course through the basketball court. Jennifer slips the keys to the backhoe from Joseph's pocket and proves a deft hand behind the wheel. Jessa is summoned to drive Ben to the ER after he staples AstroTurf to his inner thighs (darn those loose-fitting basketball shorts). Michelle beams as all the littles serve lemonade and sing what they believe are themed hymns, "Holy, Holy, Holy" and "There is Par in the Blood." Jim the Soundman smacks his head, recognizing his great-grandmother's favorite song, "Power in the Blood" is being butchered.

JB returns home to a magnificently landscaped and challenging mini golf experience finished by the TLC crew. Josie becomes confused when handed a golf club to tee off first. Thinking she is participating in her umpteenth gender reveal, she begins wildly swinging the club, certain James will lower the candy-filled party decoration to her height at any moment. She strikes Michelle, the blow landing David-and-Goliath style on her forehead ...

In her shock, Michelle begins speaking normally - all trace of the baby voice is gone. "It's a birthday miracle!" Grandma Duggar exclaims. The scene fades as the well-meaning, yet dim family launches brightly into "Joy to the World!"

[DeFrauder]

When Michelle & JB visited the fertility clinic last year(?), the subject of IVF with donor eggs must have been discussed off camera.

I wonder why JB didnt jump at a chance for #20, back then? I'm sure he'd pass along the expense to TLC.

That would not be letting God decide how many babies they should have.

[DeFrauder]

"Holy, Holy, Holy" and "There is Par in the Blood."

OMG :lol: :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :pray:

[Rainytown]

When Michelle & JB visited the fertility clinic last year(?), the subject of IVF with donor eggs must have been discussed off camera.

I wonder why JB didnt jump at a chance for #20, back then? I'm sure he'd pass along the expense to TLC.

I can't imagine any woman with 19 living children and closing in on 50 could get IVF in the United States without it costing the doctor in question his or her medical license.

[BunnyBee]

JB returns home to a magnificently landscaped and challenging mini golf experience finished by the TLC crew. Josie becomes confused when handed a golf club to tee off first. Thinking she is participating in her umpteenth gender reveal, she begins wildly swinging the club, certain James will lower the candy-filled party decoration to her height at any moment. She strikes Michelle, the blow landing David-and-Goliath style on her forehead ...

In her shock, Michelle begins speaking normally - all trace of the baby voice is gone. "It's a birthday miracle!" Grandma Duggar exclaims. The scene fades as the well-meaning, yet dim family launches brightly into "Joy to the World!"

I lost it here :lol:

Does Josie even know where she is half the time? How lost would she be without Jana constantly guiding her around hahaha

Grandma Duggar :cracking-up: :cracking-up: :cracking-up:

[DaysAgo]

A birthday poem for Jim Bob:

May this season of life, like a dove,

Bring you happiness from up above.

May prayer partners anew

Be many, not few

For your daughters to marry and love.

How precious this season: you'll see!

Disgraced though your family may be.

May you purpose to live

And always forgive

TLC and your block from TV.

As you help dig your son from the dirt,

And ignore all the girls whom he hurt.

May all of his brothers

Find girls like no others

And use what they learned at ALERT.

Here's a toast (with the Kool Aid you drink)

Who cares what the real world may think?

You're James Robert Dugger

The famous side hugger

Who covers up scandal and stink.

This is the most delightful thing I've read in a long time! It made me smile and chuckle. You have great talent as a poet!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

A perfect #JimBob50 VSE script just landed in my head via one of those crazy, 1980-esque dream sequences:

The family decides to construct and gift a mini golf course to JB, since it's where he is his most virile (cue dry humping flashbacks). PapaD is sent on a getaway to Egypt ... As in the unincorporated community in northern Wharton County in the U.S. state of Texas. (There's a statue of Moses there somewhere.)

Back at the TTH backyard, the DuggarBoys take charge. How hard can it be to build one of these from a 9-hole kit they found online? Bonus: The first 9-hole Kit they ordered was shipped without a windmill on Hole 6, so they receive a second for FREE and can extend the course to regulation size!

Hilarity ensues when the Lost Boys lay the course through the basketball court. Jennifer slips the keys to the backhoe from Joseph's pocket and proves a deft hand behind the wheel. Jessa is summoned to drive Ben to the ER after he staples AstroTurf to his inner thighs (darn those loose-fitting basketball shorts). Michelle beams as all the littles serve lemonade and sing what they believe are themed hymns, "Holy, Holy, Holy" and "There is Par in the Blood." Jim the Soundman smacks his head, recognizing his great-grandmother's favorite song, "Power in the Blood" is being butchered.

JB returns home to a magnificently landscaped and challenging mini golf experience finished by the TLC crew. Josie becomes confused when handed a golf club to tee off first. Thinking she is participating in her umpteenth gender reveal, she begins wildly swinging the club, certain James will lower the candy-filled party decoration to her height at any moment. She strikes Michelle, the blow landing David-and-Goliath style on her forehead ...

In her shock, Michelle begins speaking normally - all trace of the baby voice is gone. "It's a birthday miracle!" Grandma Duggar exclaims. The scene fades as the well-meaning, yet dim family launches brightly into "Joy to the World!"

Brilliant--remember to add in commentary about how the girls have ALWAYS been using heavy equipment and YES they can do it that in a skirt and flip flops. Make sure a boy [not Siah] dishes up food to prove that they don't do gender specific jobs.

Michelle, after her noggin is whacked turns around and says "Holy Crap! WHo the hell are these people? What happened to Scott and Beth??" Then she looks down at her close and has a siezure. Good thing there's no mirror. Happily, as Jinger points out, they are all first-responders and "save" Jchelle's life

[MatthewDuggar]

... Make sure a boy [not Siah] dishes up food to prove that they don't do gender specific jobs.

...

Why not?

[roddma]

Happy Big 5-0 to the Boob