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Second Chance Adoptions


iheartchacos

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Child rehomed after 7 years. Been with adoptive parents since 7 days. They're blaming her biological parents. Apparently she needs more attention because adoptive parents have a 1&2yo. So now she has issuesHer adoptive parents can rot. 

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Facebook friends, you know that 2/3 of our new families first saw the child "on a friend's Facebook page", so help us out by sharing please!!

*Kamryn was adopted here in the U.S. by a family who now has two younger bio children. They brought her into their home as a foster child when she was 7 days old although reunification attempts were made with her bio mom for more than a year afterwards.

Kamryn has a smile that can ‘light up a room’! She has a magnetic personality that attracts everyone around her. Her kind heart shows the most whenever someone is in need. She is the welcoming committee whenever a new kid comes to school. One of her teachers said, “She never wants anyone to feel like they are not welcome”.

Kamryn has a tender heart toward anyone she sees who is suffering---she was watching a news story once on a family who lost children during an earthquake in a foreign country and it made her cry for them. She even got the ‘fairness’ award at school. Kamryn has a good vocabulary and both children and adults enjoy talking with her.

Kamryn is very athletic, she loves to play outside on her playset or ride her bike. She received an excellence award in school for PE this past school year. She is energetic and enjoys helping with outside projects. She also enjoys art and is exceptionally talented at it. She won second place for a painting in her school’s art show this year. We’ve included a snapshot of this for you to see (if you write us for her ‘full profile’). 
Kamryn enjoys playing dress up (especially princesses) and doing all kinds of arts and crafts. She loves to make things to give to others like artwork, stories, and jewelry. She is a girly-girl who likes to dress up with dresses, shoes, hair accessories and painting her nails. She also likes to help in the kitchen with baking and cooking. She doesn’t have any food allergies and loves berries and oranges. But, if you ask her what her favorite food is, she’s going to tell you frosting! Haha! She’s a “sweets” girl all the way! Kamryn is an easy traveler, and enjoys staying in hotels.

Kamryn is good with animals; she likes horses, cows, chickens, dogs and cats.

Kamryn has friends and makes friends easily. She can be very kind and welcoming to others, especially new kids in class. She is good about inviting others to play and makes sure no one feels excluded.

Kamryn is going into the 2nd grade and has been attending a small Christian school. She was on the honor roll all last year. 

Kamryn’s current family is involved in church and she really likes it, so they are hoping to find a new adoptive family for her who is either Christian or Messianic Jew. Her parents say, “we believe the Lord saved *Kamryn for a special purpose and another Christian family will continue the work in her life and story that began with us”.

Second Chance is requiring that the new family have no other children under age 9 in the family (and no plans to add any younger children for at least 3 years after Kamryn’s adoption).

This is a private adoption, so a state or foster home study might not work. A state authorized private domestic or international home study is generally required. If you have never had a homestudy done before, we cannot help you adopt this child. We would love to tell you how to get started with a homestudy so you can be considered in the future for another child. Please write to us! Due to state laws, we are not able to place this child in CT, MA, or DE. If you live in OR, the adoption might have to finalize in Kamryn’s state.

Adoption is a legal process so there will be costs associated. This adoption qualifies for the IRS Adoption Tax Credit.

Contact us at secondchanceinfo@wiaa.org if you think you would like to adopt Kamryn. We have would love to share her full profile with you.

*not this child’s real name: we never use the child’s real name online to help protect his/her privacy!

 

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@Toothfairy I noticed there was a new post on this thread. I wasn't quite sure what second chance adoptions was all about, so I went on their Facebook page before reading this thread. I saw the same post you posted here and was horrified. Went back on FJ and sure enough, someone else thinks this is terrible. You can't just get rid of a child you adopted when you have more kids! Some people are just unbelievable!

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Nearly all these kids are non-American in origin and are part of religious families. I feel like there's some connection there. They feel led by God to adopt, because isn't it just the most amazing giving thing ever to do?? It's white saviour syndrome to the extreme. They don't actually think about how hard it will be, they just want the "kudos" and admiration from outsiders that they are just sooooo loving and altruistic. Then WHAM it isn't as easy as they thought, they panic, and so they choose the coward's way out and pass the responsibility onto someone else and can wash their hands of the kid.

This is just so, so wrong and evil. 

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@Quiche then the child has issues. They blame the child. Too many people want to adopt fast. Especially a baby. Trauma starts in the womb. Adoption is loss. Foster care is loss and grief. Seriously don't adopt if you're not going to treat the child like your own child. 

 

 

This child is 7 years old. Has been with her adoptive parents since birth. Adopted after a year old because foster care is about reunification but biological parents signed their rights away. Now they adoptive parents has two kids both biological 1 and 2 years old. Now they want to get rid of her. It sounds like she needs attention. She was the only child for 7 years. Now she has young siblings. There's no excuse for this. 

@mango_fandango look at how they use God to justify themselves. we believe the Lord saved *Kamryn for a special purpose and another Christian family will continue the work in her life and story that began with us”. I see this a lot in foster care and adoption. Praying for a child. God brought them to me. God called us. God saved them. Now it's God doesn't want this child for us. Religious folks shouldn't adopt or foster. I'm talking about extremely religious folks who use God and the Bible to adopt and foster and not care about the child. Only about them and look good for Jesus

I'm a foster and adoptive parent. I wish I could take this child into my home and love on her. Unfortunately I'm not Christian or Jewish. 

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I understand the need for privacy, but "native language" and "overseas" really does not tell potential parents anything other than 'this kid is not from the USA or UK'. While adoptive parents should love a kid regardless of race, I think race is important to consider when homing a kid due to cultural aspects. Like how knowledgeable about Carribiean culture and customs are the parents? Is there a Little Italy near the parents home? Are the parents willing and able to get the kid involved in a weekend Mandarin class or culture club where the kid can connect with other kids , and their parents, who have ties to the same homeland?

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4 hours ago, nomoxian said:

Is there a Little Italy near the parents home?

I highly doubt that many Italian children are adopted by US people.

https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en/about-us/statistics.html

According to your government data from 1999 to 2016 only two Italian children were adopted by US citizens.

Your point stands though.

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There are African nations where Italian is the primary language though.

On one hand, any parents willing to do this to their daughter you want her to have a better life with a family who doesn't blame normal childhood struggles on adoption status and doesn't see children as disposable. I've known plenty of adults who were kept by families who thought this way and their childhoods were unfathomable horror stories. On the other hand, you want to smack these people for their arrogance and lack of unconditional love.

Children are simply children. I had NEVER heard someone classify their children by how they joined their families until my 15 year old son spat the terms birth and adopted children at me like curse words. It took a lot of work and love to help him trust we do not call children that here. How you joined this family is your personal story but you are simply my children with your own unique story.

I hate how people constantly ask me which of my children are "mine." Excuse me, which of MY children do you confuse as not mine??? How is the usage of my uterus and vagina an appropriate question that is any of your business? I happily show my kids off all the time. I am pretty sure your own eyes can affirm not all of MY children came out of my vagina and that's none of your business.

I guess I officially look younger than my age and some of my older kiddos look older than theirs. I had a snotty subordinate this summer nastily declare it was impossible for my child to be my child as they were too old and I was too young. I just laughed and said well I guess that is the miracle of adoption but they really are mine. But, that child is more than young enough to be mine biologically anyway. My oldest biological is two years older than my oldest by adoption. It gets old....almost enough to consider stopping covering the grey some days.

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2 hours ago, chaotic life said:

There are African nations where Italian is the primary language though.

Which ones? I am curious because Italy briefly colonised only three African countries, Eritrea, Somalia and Libya, none of them retained Italian as official or primary language. According to Wikipedia Italian is still spoken in Libya but only in trade and among the very few remaining descendants of colonials.

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I have a truly horrible thought. What is to stop a child molester from acquiring a "rehomed" child? Sounds like there are no backgrounds checks if the so-called parents just randomly put adds on the internet. 

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Just now, Foudeb said:

I have a truly horrible thought. What is to stop a child molester from acquiring a "rehomed" child? Sounds like there are no backgrounds checks if the so-called parents just randomly put adds on the internet. 

It already happens in fact. If you go through the first pages of this thread you can find links to a reportage about abusers who got hold of a girl after her adoptive mother left her with them. It's horrible.

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@Foudeb, there are plenty of horror stories of children being re-homed without proper checks and screening.  The Justin Harris case is one.  https://www.arktimes.com/arkansas/a-child-left-unprotected/Content?oid=3691164  Pound Pup Legacy also keeps a database on the dark side of adoption. http://poundpuplegacy.org/

I abhor the way Second Chance Adoptions goes about rehoming children like unwanted puppies by plastering their faces and stories on the internet.  However, it does seem bit better than many such agencies or unofficial and private shuffling of children.  Second Chance does seem to follow state laws about screening prospective homes at least.

Adoption disruptions do happen.  Sometimes for valid reasons, others not.   Often disrupting an adoption and finding a better home for the child is better than leaving the child with the adoptive parents who don't want them.  Not moving a child who is resented and unloved by their "parents" can be a recipe for abuse.

Another article:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mirah-riben/preventing-unadoption-tragedies_b_6325132.html

 

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Ethiopia was never officially colonized but much of the official record was in Italian at one point. I don't actually know if it's still spoken there. And after I wrote that I realized I was thinking of Portuguese when I wrote it. And no, I know they are not alike but I was thinking a less influential language with a bigger footprint in Africa than you might think.

If they are being placed by Second Chance, then the families must submit home studies and background checks. As distasteful as the Second Chance advertising is, they are actually a licensed adoption agency, charge adoption fees and vet the families where children are placed. They also process ICPC for children who cross state lines.

It's children on the underground circuits I worry about more. The old yahoo groups are gone but I am positive the same market exists somewhere on the internet still.

We've seen plenty of examples on fundie blogs over the years of people who move children around informally and without any vetting and oversight.

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2 minutes ago, chaotic life said:

Ethiopia was never officially colonized but much of the official record was in Italian at one point. I don't actually know if it's still spoken there.

Only for the duration of the occupation.  Italy invaded in 1936 and was finally defeated there in 1942.   A few Italian words were integrated into the language(s) but it is really not widely spoken in Ethiopia.  There is a small Italian-Ethiopian community mostly descended from soldiers who stayed on (Europe in 1942 wasn't very attractive ) or who returned after WWII.  In addition to the main Ethiopian languages, post-Haile Selassie's return to the throne, much of the official record was, in fact, in English.

Portuguese, French, Spanish, and German are also spoken in some African countries and act as lingua franca.  It all depends on who the colonizers were.

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Italian invasion (a more appropriarte term because for colonisation there simply wasn't enough time) of Ethiopia lasted a whopping 5 years that overlapped with WWII beginning when Italian attention was elsewhere. Ethiopia is a country with an ancient history of civilization and a documented historical baggage to rival Italy's, in no way 5 years of a half assed, never completed and much hated (Ethiopians resistance was mighty) invasion could erase Ethiopian culture and languages in a way that would have such important (italian as primary language) lasting cultural consequences nearly 80 yrs later. The only appropriate comparison that comes to mind would be Japanese invasion of Manchuria, short (longer than Italy's of Ethiopia), bloody, always resisted and where the occupied country actively and successfullly rejected the invaders attempt to a lasting impact on its culture. None would expect today Manchurians to speak Japanese.

Regarding Portugal, whoever studied a minimum of history knows that Portugal had an enormous colonial empire that touched all continents and lasted for six centuries, meaning long enough to leave behind a huge track that far exceeds the country's current borders. Portuguese is the ninth most spoken language in the world.

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Sorry if my "Little Italy" comment created riffles - but I did learn some History!

I just thought about cultural communities that people can sometimes find in larger cities, and the first things that popped into my head were Chinatown and Little Italy.

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One I already stated I was confused. Two I am not unversed in history, particularly African history. I am distracted and under stress and made an incorrect statement which I directly owned as incorrect afterward. So the righteous indignation is misplaced greatly. Third it has zero to do with the subject of the thread and more to do with assumptions being made about how someone could make an incorrect historical statement which would be so far from the actual reality you would be embarrassed if I were to elaborate on the reasons for the error, but I will not as they have nothing to do with the subject matter and everything to do with personal issues even less relevant than the history tangent being so aggressively elaborated on.

One of my children came to me via this unsavory world of rehoming. I have known families who rehome, who adopt children from disruptions and who have utilized Second Chances. My child is one of the cases detailed in Kathryn Joyce's book. In fact, long before she wrote the book, Kathryn asked "What IS it with these evangelicals and adoption?" Which was the inquiry which first connected she and I. I am the Jo to whom she referenced both in my son's story and in her dedication. She published her book right as we were in the court battle over my son and consequently we had to be vague with identifying information but she and I both wanted his story included because it exemplified how even after Liberia closed the legacy continued to haunt the children. I know more about this topic than I ever wanted to know once upon a time.

Although, that does remind me, I need to email Kathryn and let her know how we're doing now. That son graduated high school this spring, despite no education prior to entering my home at nearly 15.

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9 minutes ago, chaotic life said:


Although, that does remind me, I need to email Kathryn and let her know how we're doing now. That son graduated high school this spring, despite no education prior to entering my home at nearly 15.

I'm glad at least one of the kids who has been through this is doing OK. I wish him well in his future directions.

I'm still kind of stunned that "rehoming" is legal though, it really never occurred to me that you would be able to do that.

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We finally found the other two children who were dumped before him last year. They are okay. One of them is still having legal issues and battling the first family to release him so that his family can adopt him and fix his citizenship. They tried to play nice for years and we went straight to the authorities the minute I found out the family had deliberately withheld legal and citizenship status because Kathryn had told me families were doing that and that when they did it and then sent children back to Liberia they were avoiding prosecution for child abandonment by arguing they never adopted them in the US.

When he turned 18, the first adoptive mother started contacting my son. She locked him in a bedroom, starved him, used homeschooling laws to deny him an education and told everyone he was doing things he NEVER did. But every couple of months she finds another way to try to contact him. He is no longer scared, which is huge healing for him. He now just laughs and blocks her yet again.

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My tone wasn't indignant at all. Some data about my country's history  was incorrect and as a history lover I had to point out, no bad feelings on my part.

On a differe note, I don't see why if I adopted a child from a portuguese speaking African country I should try to connect them to a portuguese community here. It's not like the child would have any link to Portugal or to every Portuguese speaking community around the world. I mean if there really were an hypothetical African country where Italian was the primary language the hypothetical adoptive child from that country would have nothing to do with a little Italy cultural environment. Or if I adopt a child from South Africa should I try to connect them to the community of expat Britons here in Italy because they too speak English? I don't think so.

Quite possibly I misunderstood what your posts were meaning because language is a minimal part of all the complex cultural heritage an adoptive child misses out on in leaving for another country and I think you know this.

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I said nothing about needing to connect children with a language group. I think others may have. I know those who have never adopted think it's easy to preserve a child's native tongue but when you put children in a home where they are fully submerged in another language they will lose much of their language as they learn the next language.

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Unfortunatelynobody really considers the child's race or culture. Especially if white people adopt non white children. 

 

Second chance adoptions allows the current adoptivefamily to choose a family of their liking. So must be Christian nothe catholic or LDS is a requirement for certain families. Must homeschool. 

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On 8/21/2017 at 9:11 PM, Toothfairy said:

Child rehomed after 7 years. Been with adoptive parents since 7 days. They're blaming her biological parents. Apparently she needs more attention because adoptive parents have a 1&2yo. So now she has issuesHer adoptive parents can rot. 

 

Wow! She sounds like a saint, a perfect child!  Better than 99.99% of all children that age that I know.  Why then would she need a new home?  The reality is she probably has several very real issues and struggles and may likely have a alphabet of diagnosises.  

It's easy to say that this organization is terrible and the parents are awful but that dismisses the vulnerable child in this situation and leaves them to suffer longer.  Calling the parents evil, awful, hoping they rot, none of that fixes the situation for the child.  The parents are just not going to be able love and raise the child and the only one who looses out is the child.   

I would rather not have a child be forced to stay with parents who can not for whatever reason connect with the child and then the child misses out on the chance to have parents who will make the child the center of their world.

I agree that Second Chance could do a much better job of writing the descriptions but I am glad they exist and feel they do offer hope to children to find a permanent home.

 

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On 8/23/2017 at 5:18 PM, chaotic life said:

when you put children in a home where they are fully submerged in another language they will lose much of their language as they learn the next language.

True, unless there are deliberate attempts to preserve the knowledge of the original language and give the child opportunities to speak it with others.

In the cases of international adoptions I do think there is a moral obligation for adoptive parents to demonstrate respect the child's original culture, and make every attempt to contact and have the child interact with people of that culture in the new country.  Especially when the adopted child is older.  Making efforts to preserve the language is a part of that.

It is obviously not always possible, especially in cases of emergency placement after disrupted adoptions.  And it is certainly not legally enforceable.   It is one of the (many) things that pisses me off about the Adopting Babies for Jesus movement.   Some of those people seem to want deliberately to eradicate all contact with the child's original culture and demonstrably disrespect it.

Maureen of Light of Days stories has written some very thought provoking posts about this.  https://lightofdaystories.com/  Maureen would never claim to be the perfect adoptive mother; she readily admits to having made some mistakes.  However, she put an enormous amount of thought and effort into respecting and making sure her children were able to keep contact with their Ethiopian culture.  She is a powerful advocate.

This is an essay by Maureen's daughter, Aselefech Evans, who is another very powerful advocate in her own right.  It is well worth the read.   http://www.thelostdaughters.com/2015/10/celebrating-my-birthday-by-embracing.html

Sorry about the thread drift, but it is allowed on Free Jinger.

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3 hours ago, popcorn_luv said:

Wow! She sounds like a saint, a perfect child!  Better than 99.99% of all children that age that I know.  Why then would she need a new home?  The reality is she probably has several very real issues and struggles and may likely have a alphabet of diagnosises.  

It's easy to say that this organization is terrible and the parents are awful but that dismisses the vulnerable child in this situation and leaves them to suffer longer.  Calling the parents evil, awful, hoping they rot, none of that fixes the situation for the child.  The parents are just not going to be able love and raise the child and the only one who looses out is the child.   

I would rather not have a child be forced to stay with parents who can not for whatever reason connect with the child and then the child misses out on the chance to have parents who will make the child the center of their world.

I agree that Second Chance could do a much better job of writing the descriptions but I am glad they exist and feel they do offer hope to children to find a permanent home.

 

You can email for more information. They give out reports and everything. Ever said she has RAD. Bullshit. They had her since a week old. Adopted her at 13 months. Her birth name was changed. The only reason why they went through Second chance is because they don't want to be charged with abandonment. Second chance isn't that good either. The woman who runs the program is an adoptive parent. I agree it's much better to give up an adopted child than have them suffer. Still doesn't make it right. There's no excuse 

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