Second Chance Adoptions

[SoybeanQueen]

It has always irked me so much when these rehoming ads are placed and the giving-up "parents" make specific requirements of the new family. Like they have to be Catholic or Protestant. Seriously? You're abandoning your kid and your biggest concern is the religion of their new family? That sort of thing smacks of the Christian savior complex so very much. Who cares what happens to the poor kid as long as it happens in a church-ey way.

[dianapavelovna]

Agreed, @SoybeanQueen. The child's birth parents probably didn't want their kid to go to a family who would give up on them and put them out, but they didn't get that courtesy.

[Toothfairy]

On Thursday, April 28, 2016 at 1:42 AM, SoybeanQueen said:

It has always irked me so much when these rehoming ads are placed and the giving-up "parents" make specific requirements of the new family. Like they have to be Catholic or Protestant. Seriously? You're abandoning your kid and your biggest concern is the religion of their new family? That sort of thing smacks of the Christian savior complex so very much. Who cares what happens to the poor kid as long as it happens in a church-ey way.

Exactly. Why does it matter if the family is christian. It's probably  a Christian family rehoming them. 

[HighlandCow]

On 5/1/2016 at 9:54 PM, Toothfairy said:

Exactly. Why does it matter if the family is christian. It's probably  a Christian family rehoming them. 

Ah, but that was a godly family and things just 'didn't work out'. It's not the same as child abandonment, because Jesus.

[Toothfairy]

I'm seeing a trend of this page. Every kid on there are under 12 adopted at young ages. Mostly internationally. Some through foster care and one domestic infant adoption. But almost everyone of these kids were adopted young. This is why adoptive parents and foster parents should stop thinking younger is better or adopting international is better. 

[Hera]

Wow. Just saw this thread. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. But damn, I wouldn't "rehome" my *dog* much less a child. For fuck's sake, when you take responsibility for a child's life, you're fucking responsible for it, even when he or she is inconvenient, a pain in the ass or even a downright terror.  It's your responsibility to make that child safe, healthy and as stable as possible. You don't get to rehome them. Jesus. This shit makes me hate people. 

[FrumperedCat]

Just found this thread and tried both the links and searching on fb for the page but I can't seem to find it. The website is still up but is it possible that they got shut down or something or is that just wishful thinking?

[MarblesMom]

I am really disturbed by this.... this seems more akin to CL pet rehoming posts.  

THESE ARE YOUR CHILDREN. 

Yes, children present challenges, and make us crazeballs at times, and sometimes we secretly wish them into a cornfield... but we don't rehome them.  We took on the responsibility of *whatever* the path with this child gives us when we brought them into our lives.

This has to be illegal.... right?

[libriatrix]

15 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

This has to be illegal.... right?

Not in as many states as you might think....

[MarblesMom]

This is an issue that needs national attention.... revamping of who can adopt... I am just aghast!

The things I learn about here... wow.  

[mango_fandango]

From the article someone linked:

A woman who said she is from Nebraska offered an 11-year-old boy she had adopted from Guatemala. "I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!" she wrote in a July 2012 post.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

 Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. "We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China… Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days." The parent asked that others share the ad "with anyone you think may be interested."

 

Cry me a fucking river. Seriously. The number of stupid people in this world utterly confounds me. 

Also: a seven-year-old boy from Russia was adopted by a woman in Tennessee. Six months later he was stuck on a plane to Moscow with a typed notice reading "I no longer wish to parent this child". 

Cunt.

[LadyCrow1313]

If assholes like this are so desperate to take care of something for a limited time frame, they should buy a doll.

It's very sad when people treat other people as an object & not an actual "person". Some people are simply not fit to be parents (while there's other people in the world; good, honest people, that can't have kids and would dearly love to have one).

[LeopardLady]

On 7/21/2016 at 7:25 AM, MarblesMom said:

This is an issue that needs national attention.... revamping of who can adopt... I am just aghast!

The things I learn about here... wow.  

I wonder if enough of us wrote John Oliver if he would do a piece on this. He has done pieces on Last Week Tonight on other laws/practices that people aren't aware are badly broken and need reform. 

[Aine]

20 hours ago, LeopardLady said:

I wonder if enough of us wrote John Oliver if he would do a piece on this. He has done pieces on Last Week Tonight on other laws/practices that people aren't aware are badly broken and need reform. 

That's a really great idea, @LeopardLady. I love John Oliver and this is right up his alley as far as big legal loopholes and atrocities that aren't getting any attention because the people it is affecting have no voice (i.e. adopted children). I might look into contacting him too.

[Gobbles]

There was a short documentary about that rehoming thing on German TV a while ago. So it seems that slowly international attention is there.

[Toothfairy]

On Wednesday, July 20, 2016 at 10:47 AM, FrumperedCat said:

Just found this thread and tried both the links and searching on fb for the page but I can't seem to find it. The website is still up but is it possible that they got shut down or something or is that just wishful thinking?

Called second chance adoption. 

The most saddest fucking stories a recently adopted 5 yo from foster care and an 11 yo who spent 10 years with her adoptive family. As a foster parent and adoptive mom this makes me sick. 

On Thursday, July 21, 2016 at 2:05 AM, MarblesMom said:

I am really disturbed by this.... this seems more akin to CL pet rehoming posts.  

THESE ARE YOUR CHILDREN. 

Yes, children present challenges, and make us crazeballs at times, and sometimes we secretly wish them into a cornfield... but we don't rehome them.  We took on the responsibility of *whatever* the path with this child gives us when we brought them into our lives.

This has to be illegal.... right?

It should be. But there's loop holes. Guess what adoptive parents who adopted from foster care and rehome their child still gets a paycheck from the state. 

On Thursday, July 21, 2016 at 2:25 AM, MarblesMom said:

This is an issue that needs national attention.... revamping of who can adopt... I am just aghast!

The things I learn about here... wow.  

This is sadly common in the adoption world. I see this shit more than one time. 

On Monday, July 25, 2016 at 4:34 AM, Gobbles said:

There was a short documentary about that rehoming thing on German TV a while ago. So it seems that slowly international attention is there.

There was a clip of a woman who adopted from Africa but then put the kids on the street. I'll find it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jtJs-UCrtU0

 

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e2fcNmMsER4

[Glasgowghirl]

Adoption should be for life, these people are sick you don't abandon a child for playing up or because you're bored with them. They are messing with a child's life.

[FundieFarmer]

From the article someone linked:

A woman who said she is from Nebraska offered an 11-year-old boy she had adopted from Guatemala. "I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!" she wrote in a July 2012 post.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

 Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. "We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China… Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days." The parent asked that others share the ad "with anyone you think may be interested."

 

Cry me a fucking river. Seriously. The number of stupid people in this world utterly confounds me. 

Also: a seven-year-old boy from Russia was adopted by a woman in Tennessee. Six months later he was stuck on a plane to Moscow with a typed notice reading "I no longer wish to parent this child". 

Cunt.



I need a moment to recover from this post.

Wow.

Wow.

They couldn't hack it for 5 days with that girl? I've been a bitch with the flu for longer than that, and I guarantee I was like that as a child too. Wtf!

And the mother who hated the boy? How? How did that even happen? For those who've seen these situations before, have you seen explanations such as these? How does this come about? Are the parents punished? What the FUCK.

I am an adopted child and would love to see a support network started for these kids. I can't imagine being rehomed. Hell, autocorrect doesn't even accept the word! I would have to parking lot it right now but holy Moses, this is abominable. Something should be done with the laws, and to support those children and address their psychological needs.

[Toothfairy]

http://ourfreshstart.org/

 

Apparently rehoming is a fresh start

[FundieFarmer]

12 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

http://ourfreshstart.org/

 

Apparently rehoming is a fresh start

That's certainly one way to spin it...

[katilac]

Even if disrupting the adoption is the best choice, their Q&A is pretty insistent that it has zero bad effect on the adopted child. A selection: 

The trauma and heartbreak is confined to the first adoptive family that struggles to accept that years and years of love, and possible many thousands of dollars of therapy not to mention international adoption costs, have had no positive results and they must admit defeat.  

[chaotic life]

Yeah....someone tell that to my son who suffered more trauma in his first adoptive home and his abandonment by those who promised to never abandon him. He's better four years after he was dumped on my doorstep, but he'll never be fully recovered.

Kids should not be abandoned after they are adopted. They aren't cars you get rid of it you don't like them.

[Glasgowghirl]

4 hours ago, chaotic life said:

Yeah....someone tell that to my son who suffered more trauma Ayn his first adoptive home and his abandonment by those who promised to never abandon him. He's better four years after he was dumped on my doorstep, but he'll never be fully recovered.

Kids should not be abandoned after they are adopted. They aren't cars you get rid of it you don't like them.

Sorry that happened to your son and I'm glad he has a real family now. Adoption should be a life long commitment, his adoptive parents should be ashamed of themselves.

[Fundie Bunny]

One of my cousin's dogs was abandoned byhis previous owner and was thrown out of a car. The poor thing had a terrible trauma, and he would have panic attacks in the car until he finally understood that no one was ever going to abandon him again. If i think those who did it to him are fucking monsters, those who would do that to a child should be in jail for fucking ever. You don't abandon your child. And this is not a pregnant teen that leaves her baby at a police station, you wanted this child and put a lot of effort on getting this child. You wanted this. Fuck you with a stick.

[carebaer]

On 8/9/2016 at 8:21 AM, katilac said:

Even if disrupting the adoption is the best choice, their Q&A is pretty insistent that it has zero bad effect on the adopted child. A selection: 

The trauma and heartbreak is confined to the first adoptive family that struggles to accept that years and years of love, and possible many thousands of dollars of therapy not to mention international adoption costs, have had no positive results and they must admit defeat.  

And yet "Michael's Story" says:   Michael was not happy about having to be adopted into a new family and a lot of his initial anger stemmed from that, but he was also aware enough to realize that it was a necessary change.

I wanted to give "Second Chance" the benefit of the doubt as trying to make the best of a terrible situation.  I mean, better that these kids are placed through a legal adoption process with homestudies, etc than sent to random strangers on the internet.  But their happy-happy win-win FAQ suggests they are as awful as they look on first glance.