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iheartchacos

Second Chance Adoptions

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doggie

Fuck a grocery store for rehoming is sick. a 9 year old with a good work ethic? yells fundy to me. this past bad. :brain-bleach: :head-desk: :censor2: :aaarggh: Don't let the duggers find this.

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Meh
Maggie Mae

What. The. Hell.

They describe these kids as though they are loved. And with the exception of one where the mother is incapacitated and unable to care for the child, they aren't saying why they want to rehome them. They aren't puppies.

My heart breaks for all of them.

The little boy adopted from China originally with the genetic condition that makes him fall asleep is just so sad though. The people worked to learn sign language and move his bedroom and put him on a routine and got his heart corrected and got him glasses and now they want to send him to someone else? WTF. I'm so confused.

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dianapavelovna

I read their "listings" pretty regularly, and it never fails to rile me up. I do respect that they do everything above board, however, with lawyers and home studies. But that doesn't take away from my disgust for some of these families. They want to throw the children away when they're tired of them, but only to a family who's the right type of Christian or will homeschool. If it's so important to you that the kid is raised that way, DON'T KICK THEM TO THE CURB.

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dianapavelovna

I read their "listings" pretty regularly, and it never fails to rile me up. I do respect that they do everything above board, however, with lawyers and home studies. But that doesn't take away from my disgust for some of these families. They want to throw the children away when they're tired of them, but only to a family who's the right type of Christian or will homeschool. If it's so important to you that the kid is raised that way, DON'T KICK THEM TO THE CURB.

ETA: who knows the circumstances the families are in when they choose to do this...but plenty of them seem pretty weak sauce. Chronic illness? Worn out after years of intense parenting? I have a feeling these people would never consider getting rid of any biokids in the same situation.

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Toothfairy

Of course it's fucking Utah. There's no such thing as second chance adoption in my eyes. You adopted child is your child. You wouldn't just put your bio kids up for adoption when they get out of hand. I understand some of these adopted kids especially international adopted children have attachment disorders or other problems but you find help for them. Not just throw them away like a pair of shoes. And what happened to confidentiality? How is this legal? I feel sorry for these kids. If you don't accept an adopted child as your own don't adopt.

Okay just looked at the page. First off all photo listings are a brief summary of the child. When you submit your homestudy you learn more information about that specific child. Then if your a good match you get more information,so no its not like a foster/adoption photo listing. This is what pissed me off Please email us back if you would like to see copies of this child’s medical and other records and learn more about him. Wtf? So anyone can just email you and get copies of confidential information????? Im calling bs on Jonathan "parents" and they want a family of faith? They can afford to send him to private school but can't get insurance? And even if they cant get insurance there are low cost community base mental health clinics.

The Zachary one is also sad. Can't believe they said homeschooling needs to be a requirement. Taken from Facebook page

This is 10 year old Zachary! He has been with his current adoptive family for 5 years (adopted through the US foster care system). In that time he has grown by leaps & bounds emotionally & behaviorally. But because his current family has put so much energy into intensively parenting him for so many years, they no longer feel up to the demands of all the healing he still needs. So he needs a new adoptive home where he is the youngest child and there are no children within 2 years above his age.

Wtf? Sorry but his parents are dicks. It sounds like he's been sexually abused and probably sexually acts out. He's been with this family for 5 years, is growing and improving but his family got too tired to take care of him?? Gee I wonder how he feels now that the people who've been caring for him since he was 5 want to get rid of him because he's too much work. I can't believe this. These parents if they're still fostering need to have their license taken.

Trevor adopted as an infant. Adoptive father dies and adopted mother said she wants Trevor to gave a father, so she puts him up for adoption :angry-banghead: Lady what about remarriage or finding a father figure for your child. Because you know there's no such thing as single mothers and father's raising kids

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Toothfairy
I read their "listings" pretty regularly, and it never fails to rile me up. I do respect that they do everything above board, however, with lawyers and home studies. But that doesn't take away from my disgust for some of these families. They want to throw the children away when they're tired of them, but only to a family who's the right type of Christian or will homeschool. If it's so important to you that the kid is raised that way, DON'T KICK THEM TO THE CURB.

Why would they care where the child ends up? Maybe an atheist family or a buddhist family would be good for the kid they don't want. How the hell can you dictate what family you want for the child you don't want?

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laPapessaGiovanna

:pink-shock:

Sorry, I'm a foreigner so maybe I don't fully understand, but what does the law says? Here adoptions are strictly regulated (maybe too much so) and such a situation would be unthinkable without the involvement of social services and juvenile court ruling on the case.

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SoybeanQueen

Even worse are the "parents" who try to spin the rehoming as "we got the child to the US so they would have a chance to find their true forever family."

I agree that people who rehome their children like that should not be allowed to adopt again.

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Firiel

This makes me feel like crying and raging at the same time.

I would love to have children and suspect that I will never be able to (which is pretty shitty), and these parents are throwing these children away. And, while I appreciate that at least this organization does things legally, I hate the name. Second Chance Adoption sounds like it's the kid's second chance-- like s/he did something wrong the first time but is getting another go at things.

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dianapavelovna
:pink-shock:

Sorry, I'm a foreigner so maybe I don't fully understand, but what does the law says? Here adoptions are strictly regulated (maybe too much so) and such a situation would be unthinkable without the involvement of social services and juvenile court ruling on the case.

The law depends on the state, and as toothfairy noted, this agency is based in Utah, which is notorious for its lax (adoptive-parent-friendly) adoption laws. My understanding of a private adoption is that the parents surrender their legal rights and a lawyer then submits a petition to adopt in the appropriate court. Each post also notes that the kids can't be placed in a handful of states - those states have some kind of law(s) that prevent this kind of transaction.

Here's a terribly sad bit from a post back in April:

This adorable boy, with the big dimple, is 8 year old Landon adopted from Africa. Landon was 4 when he was originally adopted by a family who had one quiet daughter, and the presence of an active 4 year was not what they expected. So after 14 months, they did a private re-adoption for him to a new family 3 years ago.

This new, current family has three 8-year olds as well as other older and younger children, and Landon is not adapting well to a large family especially with two other children his same age. He desperately needs a new home asap.

I'll say. One that is looking to adopt, not accessorize.

All I can do when I read these posts is try to psychically transfer all my good karma to these poor kiddos. May they end up with families who cherish them as they deserve.

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iheartchacos

It's heartbreaking. I know that they don't give all the details on the listings (ugh, hate typing that) they describe most of the kids as having typical behaviors.

Kid toO active...send him back! And I'm sorry, but IF I did this once with a child and that family sent him back - HOW could you do it again?? Are they not thinking of the impact of all these abandonments?

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doggie

They are not real children just there to make you feel godly

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halcionne

Why do they insist it's not rehoming, when it looks like it actually is rehoming?

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apandaaries
:pink-shock:

Sorry, I'm a foreigner so maybe I don't fully understand, but what does the law says? Here adoptions are strictly regulated (maybe too much so) and such a situation would be unthinkable without the involvement of social services and juvenile court ruling on the case.

You would be amazed and sickened at the loopholes and general disregard for foreign adoptees. I still am. It's horrifying.

I know I've posted this this in other threads before, but I think these are informative reads. They certainly opened my eyes. Reposting without breaking the links to reuters articles, for those who are curious about the kids who fall through the cracks:

http://www.reuters.com/investigates/ado ... icle/part1

A brief update, without any structural changes to the major issues:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/05/ ... GK20150508

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ShepherdontheRock

Am I the only one who was skeeved out by the fact that they basically blamed the kids for this? I mean, it reminded me a little of the justification for abusive therapy methods and whatever for "troubled" children...

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TXGirlInAMaterialWorld

That is incredibly sad. But I am glad there is a service to hopefully help find these kids a loving home. I would much rather a child be placed again than live in a home where they will not receive the love and attention they truly deserve.

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Firiel

Here's an excerpt from one of the profiles:

He has been with his current adoptive family for almost 5 years (adopted through the US foster care system). In that time he has grown by leaps & bounds emotionally & behaviorally. But because his current family has put so much energy into intensively parenting him for so many years, they no longer feel up to the demands of all the healing he still needs.

In other words, it was too hard and they didn't get the perfectly well-adjusted, easy child they wanted, so they are getting rid of him. I was raging when I read this one. Weird that, being based in Utah, many of these people believe (at least on the surface) that you should do anything to save a relationship with your spouse and that keeping a marriage together is vital to living a moral life. But saving a relationship with your fucking child? Nah, just re-home him!

:evil:

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DGayle

Except for the most EXTREME circumstances (basically the sort of situations that might result in people sending away a biological child, like if a child developed a mental disorder that resulted in potentially deadly violence), anybody who rehomes a child should be banned from further adoption. Full stop.

I can't get mad at that agency since they're preventing those kids from being rehomed on the black market (direct adoptions have no oversight), but those "parents" are rotten people.

I brought up this friend of mine before, I think, who is the go-between for when people adopt kids they no longer want or whose needs weren't really planned for. She ended up adopting 1 of the kids aboveboard entirely, and in the adoption process, it was discovered the family my friend was adopting the girl out of has a long history of adopting kids from overseas, then readopting them in the US. Last I know of they were being investigated for suspiciously large bank deposits.

So I can't help wondering if some of the kids on that page were adopted by people thinking they're get a puppy from overseas, train it, then find a new home on Craigslist for a "rehoming fee," and when it didn't work out, decided they'll cut their loses with a rescue group. Only replace the puppy with a kid

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DGayle
What. The. Hell.

They describe these kids as though they are loved. And with the exception of one where the mother is incapacitated and unable to care for the child, they aren't saying why they want to rehome them. They aren't puppies.

My heart breaks for all of them.

The little boy adopted from China originally with the genetic condition that makes him fall asleep is just so sad though. The people worked to learn sign language and move his bedroom and put him on a routine and got his heart corrected and got him glasses and now they want to send him to someone else? WTF. I'm so confused.

The reason for that boy is in there, and it's fucked up. Basically he's awake at night and they want to sleep. They solved this by closing him in his room and ignoring him at night because "they realized they should not be at his beck and call at night. Now they have him sleep in a part of the house where they could only hear his big noises." So he's far enough away that they don't hear him unless he's loud enough. Sounds like unless he's in enough distress that he's screaming.

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FundieFarmer
This family’s faith is very important to them and Jonathan is becoming comfortable in the faith. So the family would like a new family to be in a main stream evangelical or Catholic faith.

You have got to be kidding me. "Oh, let's give him up, but only to somebody who likes Jesus as much as we do."

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Toothfairy

I don't think these fools realize that when you adopt a child, your accepting that child as your own. Your accepting their past and accepting them as they are even if you adopt a baby. I don't understand how some of these people get kids or pass a homestudy. I have yet to see a bio kid on there. I feel really bad for these children.

And wtf is it with Utah and their fucked up laws.

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Firiel

You have got to be kidding me. "Oh, let's give him up, but only to somebody who likes Jesus as much as we do."

I guarantee they are trying to keep the kid from getting adopted into an LDS home with that requirement.

(And what you said is exactly what my boyfriend said when he saw this one. It's such a horrible thing to do.)

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