Billy Graham’s Grandson Resigns After Affair

[treemom]

Did you read another account somewhere else or are we just interpreting the original article differently?

No, I think you are interpreting it with the lens of your personal experience. Like all of us are. I am not even convinced the wife cheated.

[Firiel]

No, I think you are interpreting it with the lens of your personal experience. Like all of us are. I am not even convinced the wife cheated.

Of course I interpreted it through my personal experience. As you said, just like everyone else does because that's how we interpret the world. That's the reason I added the initial caveat in my first post so people would know my biases straight up. I see people here interpreting this through the lens of all conservative Christian men being hypocritical creeps, and I understand why they would do that. I've stated multiple times that my opinion hinges on his statement being genuine and that if he is lying (which he could be), everything is different.

But someone said they didn't understand why a person would feel the need to let others know that they had been cheated on. I tried to explain what would motivate someone to put that in the open instead of keeping it a secret.

[Jasmar]

This topic, above all others on FJ, forced me out of lurkdom to comment.

I am going through this right now only I am not the cheating wife. My former minister-husband has been in ministry for years, with us barely holding our marriage and family together after at least three incidents of unfaithfulness...that I know about. He left other churches under heavy clouds of suspicion.

Even though I did not cheat on him, he somehow thought it would be neat to find out what a *cough* "stud" he was by recently having a fling with a choir member. His excuse is that I wasn't sexually available to him at all times.

Whatever.

His resignation letter cited "family issues that needed addressing."

Ugh, I'm so sorry. Do you have the emotional and spiritual support you need? Having gone through a divorce within the context of evangelicalism recently, I have tons of great links and books to recommend. FJ was one of the places I've spent a time processing (mostly be reading).

[ViolaSebastian]

This topic, above all others on FJ, forced me out of lurkdom to comment.

I am going through this right now only I am not the cheating wife. My former minister-husband has been in ministry for years, with us barely holding our marriage and family together after at least three incidents of unfaithfulness...that I know about. He left other churches under heavy clouds of suspicion.

Even though I did not cheat on him, he somehow thought it would be neat to find out what a *cough* "stud" he was by recently having a fling with a choir member. His excuse is that I wasn't sexually available to him at all times.

Whatever.

His resignation letter cited "family issues that needed addressing."

Former Pastor T gets no sympathy from me whatsoever. He knew what he was doing and he knew what it would cost him.

I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. But your username made me genuinely LOL.

[Evangeline]

I have some connections to Tullian. He was very well-liked and respected before he took over Coral Ridge. After he was hired, the old guard at Coral Ridge decided they didn't like him after all because he wasn't Dr. Kennedy, made too many changes, and tried to attract folks who weren't at death's door to keep the church going. There have been lay-offs and lots of infighting because of the changes. I don't have any information about his marital issues, but in that community, you sort of have to provide details about your divorce if you want to remain in it and ever have a chance at getting married again within it. The Bible lists some exceptions for divorce, and people will make damn sure you're one of the exceptions. If you don't volunteer the details of your divorce yourself, you WILL get asked. Rumor has it that this same church asked for details of Charles Stanley's divorce to decide whether they'd continue to air his show on their radio station. IIRC, he declined to provide them.

[Beb]

So, I guess we can believe what has been reported and statements made OR we could believe what makes us more comfortable and create our own story and dialogue.

[Firiel]

So, I guess we can believe what has been reported and statements made OR we could believe what makes us more comfortable and create our own story and dialogue.

Is it obtuse that by reading this I can't tell if you are criticizing my posts or other people's posts? :lol:

(Wanted to add that I hope I don't come off as awful in this thread-- I knew my opinion would be unpopular which is part of the reason I wanted to offer it up. I've found the conversation interesting.)

[treemom]

Is it obtuse that by reading this I can't tell if you are criticizing my posts or other people's posts? :lol:

(Wanted to add that I hope I don't come off as awful in this thread-- I knew my opinion would be unpopular which is part of the reason I wanted to offer it up. I've found the conversation interesting.)

I don't think you come off as awful. Because of my own biases I don't trust the minister. Because of your biases you believe him. Both are reasonable.

[Beb]

Is it obtuse that by reading this I can't tell if you are criticizing my posts or other people's posts? :lol:

(Wanted to add that I hope I don't come off as awful in this thread-- I knew my opinion would be unpopular which is part of the reason I wanted to offer it up. I've found the conversation interesting.)

I'm not criticizing anyone's post (I'm especially not criticizing yours). I'm just being logical. By everything we read, we have no basis for other scenarios. We can guess, but based on what? I will guess that both were moral failures. It's a guess.

[blessalessi]

My grips with him is that his statement comes not in the context of a divorce petition which pertains to both of them, but in the context of a job resignation which pertains only to him.

He was the patriarch and she was the weaker vessel in their marriage arrangement. He was paid, in money and adulation to lead his church and he failed and had to be removed. You live by the sword, you die by the sword, according to his own beliefs. In that sense, he comes off as a petulant fuckwit by "blaming" his wife in his resignation statement. And I applaud her very brief statement which concisely asserts her right to hold a differing opinion.

In terms of their marriage, and in the context of divorce, I would tend to agree that there are mitigating circumstances when a wronged spouse seeks comfort elsewhere. But his statement in the context of his job resignation is arseholery to me.

[Beb]

My grips with him is that his statement comes not in the context of a divorce petition which pertains to both of them, but in the context of a job resignation which pertains only to him.

He was the patriarch and she was the weaker vessel in their marriage arrangement. He was paid, in money and adulation to lead his church and he failed and had to be removed. You live by the sword, you die by the sword, according to his own beliefs. In that sense, he comes off as a petulant fuckwit by "blaming" his wife in his resignation statement. And I applaud her very brief statement which concisely asserts her right to hold a differing opinion.

In terms of their marriage, and in the context of divorce, I would tend to agree that there are mitigating circumstances when a wronged spouse seeks comfort elsewhere. But his statement in the context of his job resignation is arseholery to me.

I couldn't agree more. I formed my own impression of him a long while back.....categorizing him with the ego-ridden, power-mongering, hypocritical mega leaders; his entire presence seemed to fit that all too familiar and predictable role. I sincerely doubt his wife is much better, so it's difficult to have sympathy/empathy for either.

BTW, this is all just based upon my own guessing.

[Gimme a Free RV]

The power and attention that come with being a leader in front of a congregation often pump up a church leader's pride to the point that care isn't taken when relating to others. The perceived image he/she has of him/herself trumps reason.

I begged my own husband to STOP flirting with women in the church. He fed off of the attention and he enjoyed giving it. The husbands...not so much! Whenever I tried to remind my husband to be careful about his actions, he would get mad and tell me I was trying to start a fight or that I needed to back off. He gave the best of his charming, attentive self to other women and paid little attention to me.

I could go on and on with my own story :violin: but suffice it to say, this is something that could happen to anyone in a leadership role who isn't careful about maintaining accountability for his/her actions. Not that this excuses the jerk who cheats on his wife. I still would LOVE to slap the horse-faced whore my soon-to-be ex cheated with. :evil-eye:

(Can you tell this is a particular touchy subject with me? :? )

[DomWackTroll]

RC Jr.: “Friends, we are to be slow to believe evil reports. We are to wait until there are two witnesses, that is two witnesses who will stand up and say, “I noticed.†Or at the very least we are to wait until the person confesses. We are to value the importance of the church; when the elders speak we have reason to believe it; when a man speaks we have reason to believe it. When no one speaks, or someone with no name, we have no reason to believe it... In the end, it is just too enticing for us to want to talk about the sins of others. That is why our standards are so low. So my counsel is that we repent for our willingness to hear that which we should not be hearing.â€

rcsprouljr.com/jce/no-one-exposes-resigning-pastor/

Reponse on FB: “a 40 year old dude with gel to spike his hair, and no one raised flags before this?†Reply from Spanky: “Off point, petty and snarky Mike.â€

facebook.com/rcsprouljr/posts/834160596665470