Newsflash: Sarah Maxwell has read the entire Bible!

[twin2]

I'm sure he has!! I think Mary had to outline the Bible in order to graduate.

Ah yes, outlining the Bible is a requirement to get your high school diploma from Maxwell U. I do wonder how they handle some of the more seedy parts like Lot

I. After the destruction of Saddam and Gomorrah

A. Lot's wife dies

i. Lot's daughters get him drunk

a. Lot's daughters have sex with him

1. Lot's daughters get pregnant with their father's children

[BullyJBG]

Ah yes, outlining the Bible is a requirement to get your high school diploma from Maxwell U. I do wonder how they handle some of the more seedy parts like Lot

I. After the destruction of Saddam and Gomorrah

A. Lot's wife dies

i. Lot's daughters get him drunk

a. Lot's daughters have sex with him

1. Lot's daughters get pregnant with their father's children

I always wondered that too. Or the story of Abram and Sarai and Hagar. Or when they're travelling through Egypt and Abram asks Sarai to tell them she's his sister, so his life would be spared. Oh wait; it backfired, so here's where they can learn what can happen when you lie.

Or about the midwives in Exodus 1, who "feared God" and wouldn't kill the baby boys at birth like they were told, but lied about it, saying the Hebrew moms give birth too fast for them.

Or about the sexual abuse story in 2 Samuel, where David's own children committed it.(I heard a sermon on that very story the very Sunday after the Duggar scandal broke; interestingly fitting)

And there's more; I'm sure those of us who also read through the Bible can mention. I imagine Sarah has her moments of identifying with Job; who lived an upright life and "shunned evil" and did his part to help others, and he STILL lost everything and suffered ill health. But remember, Sarah, he didn't always put on a happy face. He expressed his grief, and we now read it. It IS okay to express your grief. Oh yeah, and Steve, Job didn't always go to the parties his children had for each other in their homes. He let them be, though he DID make extra animal sacrifices for them "just in case".

Well, this thread will get very interesting. How many of us will go through our Bibles now to try to catch any of them in their extremes? :violin:

[Marian the Librarian]

Sarah, honey - two words: public library.

It will rock your world.

[WonderingInWA]

Sarah, honey - two words: public library.

It will rock your world.

Sadly, even if she wanted to, she can't go anywhere without a chaperone so will never set a foot inside a library.

[twin2]

Sadly, even if she wanted to, she can't go anywhere without a chaperone so will never set a foot inside a library.

Sarah can not go to the library by herself. If she did she may pick up a copy of "Little House in the Big Woods" and read the chapter where Laura doesn't want to sit still and be quite on the Lords Day. That might cause Sarah to become willful and decide she doesn't want to go to the nursing home for church on Sunday but wants to have fun and take a bike ride instead.

Can't have that! :naughty:

[singsingsing]

One of my favourite things about the Little House books is that the characters have faults, shortcomings, and quirks, and not everything is presented as a neat little lesson. There's this part in On the Banks of Plum Creek where Laura tricks Nellie Oleson into getting leaches stuck all over her legs. Nellie freaks out and Laura is happy. Reading it again as an adult, I thought, "Okay, now the part where Laura learns her lesson that you should be nice to people like Nellie even if they're mean to you must be coming up." But it wasn't. Nellie suffers and Laura is happy. The end. :lol:

[SPHASH]

One of my favourite things about the Little House books is that the characters have faults, shortcomings, and quirks, and not everything is presented as a neat little lesson. There's this part in On the Banks of Plum Creek where Laura tricks Nellie Oleson into getting leaches stuck all over her legs. Nellie freaks out and Laura is happy. Reading it again as an adult, I thought, "Okay, now the part where Laura learns her lesson that you should be nice to people like Nellie even if they're mean to you must be coming up." But it wasn't. Nellie suffers and Laura is happy. The end. :lol:

Yep Laura was a little rebel in that one! She also disobeyed Pa and went swimming alone, ruined a haystack, told Ma she wished she didn't have to wear clothes when it was hot much to Ma's chagrin.

[danvillebelle]

Yep Laura was a little rebel in that one! She also disobeyed Pa and went swimming alone, ruined a haystack, told Ma she wished she didn't have to wear clothes when it was hot much to Ma's chagrin.

I was just re-reading On The Banks of Plum Creek a few weeks ago and I LOVE the end of The Straw-Stack chapter! "LAURA! Did. you. slide. down. the. straw. stack???" "No, Pa." "LAURA!!!" "We didn't slide down it, but we did roll down it." And Pa has to turn his back to them because he's about to bust out laughing. :lol: :cracking-up:

Laura was a feisty little pistol. Love her forever.

[socalrules]

Reading the entire Bible is quite common. My guess is that Sarah belives that this is a rarity because she has no idea what other Christian actually do. Hell, she probably doesn't know that there are people who have read the Bible out of curiosity or for academic purposes.

I love Laura Ingalls Wilder but, in the Maxwell world, that little hussy is going to hell. She went on those buggy rides alone with Almanzo. Who knows want was happening under that blanket on their laps.

[Maggie Mae]

Some days I read more chapters than others because there are parts that go much quicker (aka: genealogies!) than the New Testament. I will also occasionally take a break and read in a different book such as Psalms

Funny, I always spent much less time reading the New Testament. Because it's easy to read, whereas unpronounceable name begat unpronounceable name was so slooooow.

[FearLyss]

I read through the Bible twice, and I am not even a Christian, so I am not at all impressed. I read it because my family said that me denying the faith I was raised in without reading the Bible meant nothing. So, I read it, and then I read it again, while reading other religious texts.

I also read the Quran, the Bahagavad Gita, the Dhammapada, and parts of the Vedas. I could have read more, but I read other shit too and watching trashy tv takes up some time too...wonder if she has read anything else in the past few years?

How is this an accomplishment worth noting? What else is she going to do? Why only three times in over three years?

[Jezebel]

Count me among those who are surprised she's only read the entire Bible three times in four years.

However, I wouldn't have made much of it were it not for the fact that we know she reads very few books other than the Bible. If her reading time was filled with history, biographies, commentaries on the Bible, inspirational works, the occasional novel, and other kinds of books I'd expect someone with her worldview to read, learn from, and enjoy, then taking an average of 16 months to read the Bible through wouldn't seem so strange.

This is a woman who has private Bible time every single day, plus family Bible time every single evening, and scarcely reads anything else--why take so long? I've never been any sort of Christian, but I read the whole Bible in one summer, long ago, out of curiosity--I wanted to see what sort of stuff all the god-botherers I met actually believed.

Ah, but as Steve likes to boast, his kids don't read; they write, so maybe what little reading time she might have had went to grinding out another Moody book, in between making pots of burrito sludge and dusting ceiling fans.

[Jasmar]

I wonder if they just read certain parts over and over again in their two hours a day? That could explain why she's only read the whole thing three times in four yrs, but it's still weird.

[DowntownAbbey]

My thought is that she isn't speaking of simply reading, but a detailed study of the Bible. I wouldn't be surprised if the Maxwells are among those who search for the deep meaning in every single verse. Take John 11:35 for example. It's literally the shortest verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept."

Here's the Matthew Henry Commentary on that verse:

As he was going to the grave, as if he had been following the corpse thither, Jesus wept, v. 35. A very short verse, but it affords many useful instructions. [1.] That Jesus Christ was really and truly man, and partook with the children, not only of flesh and blood, but of a human soul, susceptible of the impressions of joy, and grief, and other affections. Christ gave this proof of his humanity, in both senses of the word; that, as a man, he could weep, and, as a merciful man, he would weep, before he gave this proof of his divinity. [2.] That he was a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief, as was foretold, Isa. 53:3 . We never read that he laughed, but more than once we have him in tears. Thus he shows not only that a mournful state will consist with the love of God, but that those who sow to the Spirit must sow in tears. [3.] Tears of compassion well become Christians, and make them most to resemble Christ. It is a relief to those who are in sorrow to have their friends sympathize with them, especially such a friend as their Lord Jesus.

[Mela99]

Honest question- don't all Christians read the entire Bible at least once in their life? I know I'm an evil, not-really-Christian Catholic and all, but I've read through the whole thing and will be doing so again in the future. Is this really supposed to be a big deal?

I was brought up Catholic. I'd read the bible cover to cover 3-4 times before I was a teenager. I'm almost 30 and I think I'm around the 10 count.

Idk, maybe she's a really slow reader, or Maxwell wimmin aren't allowed to have their own bible before a certain age?

[rosastrohhut]

Maybe she is too modest to acknowledge she read the whole thing in biblical hebrew/aramaic/greek and did not want us to feel bad we only read through it in a modern language translation... (I'm sure some people here actually have read the entire bible in the "original" version).

Even if she read it in a study reading way she should be through it more than 3 times considering her age...

[albanuadh_1]

Still don't see where it's written she read the bible 3x since 2011. In her replies, she says 4.

[Jana814]

I wonder if they just read certain parts over and over again in their two hours a day? That could explain why she's only read the whole thing three times in four yrs, but it's still weird.

Good point!!

[blessalessi]

I dont see this as all that snarkworthy. Lots of mainstream Christians seem to post these sorts of "encouragement" blogs with different ideas for reading through the bible. When I ussd to go to church it was standard advice to read 3 chapters a day in order to get through the bible in a year. If you are going through the rigmarole of highlighting key verses, thinking through "How can I apply this to my life" questions, 3 chapters can take a while. I dont see why any "shoulds" come into it. I never made it through the whole thing once when I was a True Believer and I still won plenty of bible knowledge contests and could probably out-bible many fundies on what I learned from my more casual perusal. :D

[VodouDoll]

I can see that. If she's stopping after every sentence to pray and meditate it would take forever to read the whole thing.

[Naga Viper]

Or maybe on some level she secretly finds it really dull and keeps dozing off.

Extremely unlikely, I know, but I'm just amused by the image of Sarah slowly nodding until she's slumped over the desk and snoring loudly, the flower headband sliding off and rolling onto the floor.

[twin2]

Still don't see where it's written she read the bible 3x since 2011. In her replies, she says 4.

I swear to the FSM that at one point that blog post said 3.

[anjulibai]

I swear to the FSM that at one point that blog post said 3.

I could swear, too. WTF?

[twin2]

I could swear, too. WTF?

Steve-O has been known to change posts after they were discussed here.....

Hi Steve! Come over and play sometime!!

[Naga Viper]

I have to wonder how much of Steve's refusal to visit FJ has to do with him not being willing to be challenged by women and how much with him specifically not wanting us nitpicking his grammar to death.