Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
iheartchacos

Grandma Mary

Recommended Posts

iheartchacos

Searched this and didn't find anything the first few pages (104 she's been mentioned in)

 

Alice's messages painted her as a driving force for the TV show. A manipulative woman seeking fame. She's always seemed meek to me.

 

Are there any other accounts that she's a crazaar?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dianapavelovna

Well, she did spawn Jim Bob & Amy (indirectly). But I don't think I've ever heard anything else to that effect.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
silverspoons

Is Mary the meek grandma doing laundry all day or the puppet master behind the show? My guess is she has a lot more power then we are shown.

From what research has been done it appears she was wearing the pants in her relationship with her husband. She was always trying to find deals in real estate and business.

I could easily see her in the earlier years when Jim Bob was running for office calling up newspapers and trying to get him press. I'm sure she would play up her cute grandkids and her squeaky clean son. Maybe she went further then that and really did want to get them on TV? Did she do it for fame or fear that her grandkids might grow up poor because Jim Bob and Michelle kept popping them out without a real solid source of income for such a large family.

I would love to see an interview with just Mary. We get very little of her TH except praise for her grandchildren and maybe some fun outings with Amy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Phoenix

Mary Lester Duggar and her husband Jimmy Lee Duggar were members of the First Baptist Church in Springdale, AR for many years. (Source J.L. Duggar's obituary) They married in 1960, Jim Bob was born in 1964. Jim Bob's grandfather was the one who was into real estate and car sales started as early as 1933. Mary was listed as a home maker and owner of an ice cream shop on Ancestry.com. According to fakejoshduggar she started buying undervalued homes in the 1980's thus starting her "real estate brokerage" career. She must have been an amazing sales person because FJD turned up a residential home transfer between a husband and wife named Lee to Mary Duggar for the grand sum of $1 in 1991.

Grandma Duggar bought Josh and Anna's home (now Jessa and Ben's) in 2007 from Michelle's father for close to $100 K. Interestingly that was the year Josh sued DHS and the year after the Springdale Police investigation into Josh's molestation behaviors. In short she was part and parcel of helping to cover up Josh's behavior and give him a fresh start when he married Anna.

Despite the fact Mary Duggar was presented as a laundry slave on the show, she has been involved at least in part with Jim Bob being so savvy buying up investment real estate. He grew up with his grandparents and parents involved in property investments. Jim Bob likes to take all the credit but he had two generations of family involved in land deals behind him when he and Michelle started out. That is a pretty big head start.

I don't think I would call her crazy off the bat, but she has been a significant player in the 19 Kids story. So she was apparently okay with the "Christian remodeling therapy" Jim Bob and Michelle decided on as a response to Josh's ongoing molestation of his sisters and one other girl.

Edited for brevity and riffles.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
socalrules

Maybe it's Mary that has a head for business and not Jim Bob. Maybe she is the reason he has had so much success, sans the tv show. Or maybe it is all actually her success but she lets Jim Bob take the credit for his image.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Phoenix
Maybe it's Mary that has a head for business and not Jim Bob. Maybe she is the reason he has had so much success, sans the tv show. Or maybe it is all actually her success but she lets Jim Bob take the credit for his image.

Or his ego.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
roddma

I think Mary felt sorry for all those kids because she knew firsthand what it's like trying to make ends meet and they had only two kids. I do see her as a rock in a hard place and she just goes along with their shtick.. I recall her saying when Joy Anna covered up the TV screen "That's what she' been trained to do". She used to wear pants but now wears mostly skirts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Furbabies

Reminds me of Retail Therapy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Johanna25

Interesting. Mary wearing the pants and Bob putting his father down so much kind of reminds me of the Penningtons where James hated his (probably absent) father so much he changed his name to his mother's maiden name. At least two of our petty patriarchs grew up with dominant mothers and absent or ineffectual fathers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
littlesparklingflame
She must have been an amazing sales person because FJD turned up a residential home transfer between a husband and wife named Lee to Mary Duggar for the grand sum of $1 in 1991.

Grandma Duggar bought Josh and Anna's home (now Jessa and Ben's) in 2007 from Michelle's father for close to $100 K.

The first example speaks for itself.

The second example was discussed in a different thread and if I recall correctly people commented that the $100 K was a very high sum for the home.

The least one could say is that she seems to be quite savvy with money.

Maybe in both cases Grandma was just a dummy? (I hope "dummy" is the right term, I did not find anything else on the dictionary: I mean someone who on the official papers is the buyer/owner of an item while actually it is just to cover up someone else).

In any case, even if she is not the driving force, she is backing up JB big time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Justme

Oh, I totally agree! No one is going to put Grandma in a corner!! I think she is smart and does exactly what she wants to do. Though I do think Boob and Mullet take advantage of her. Most of their kids at home are adults or teens. They are very capable of doing laundry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FloraKitty35

Mary Duggar holds a lot more power than we ever get to see. She doesn't come of as goofy like her son, but she knows how to manipulate and pull strings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Four is Enough

Mary is an enigma. I would not have moved into that house of horrors; but she did.

If I had the wherewithal to stay on my own, I definitely would have lived on my own.

I don't believe she completely subscribes to the QF movement but I think she just goes along with it, and perhaps lives in the TTH, to try to alleviate some of the neglect the kids have experienced.

I think Jim Bob treats her abominably. I would not allow my son to call me "Grandma" the way he does. (Nor would I allow my husband to call me "Mama". I think that's VERY demeaning.) I have a name, and I expect it to be used. When referring to Mary to the kids, he could say, "your grandma", and the same about Michelle to the kids, "your mama"...

And Jim Bob just generally treats women badly. The stories about not talking to waitresses, and the way he looked past the interviewer with those blank eyes, meant to me that he does consider women as lesser beings. His treatment of Mary means he includes his mother in that category.

If it was Mary who built the real estate "empire", more power to her. I wish she'd wake up and take her money and run. But if she's there to help the kids, God bless her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HWest

I have very few posts here but I commented in one of my first posts (regarding the Duggar family treatment of Grandpa Duggar's last illness/death) that I thought Grandma Mary was a very shrewd operator. I have read that Grandma Duggar was the one most interested in the Fundie lifestyle but Grandpa Duggar thought it was a pile of crap. Both she and JB belittled him until the end. She is also the one who set up JB with Michelle. I am sure she steered them both down the Fundie path. She has owned a retail establishment and been involved in many Real Estate Transactions. I also read somewhere on this site (I think) that Grandma Mary has a TV in her room and watches Razorback Games (although I am sure she watches whatever she wants). Because she is a woman she is a "behind the scenes" kind of architect of this entire mess of a Family. I think she has much more power than is ever shown to the TV viewer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nic

The fact that Grandma Mary is the broker of record for JBs real estate company says to me that she can hustle and is not meek, but what a great character for the Duggar family. Good ol' widow G'Ma coming to live with us so she won't have to be alone and can help stay young and vital tending to the young'ns and doin' the washin'

I may have missed it, but it's always pissed me off that they don't mention that she is a real estate broker. Instead we see yet another portrayal of a woman doing women's work: in the house.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
littlesparklingflame

Do we know for sure that she is still living in the house though?

In one of the lates episodes the kids were re-allocating "jurisdictions" in the absence of Jessa and Jill and Josie got to do the laundry.

I did not see Grandma anywhere...

Edited to add: actually Josie was just collecting the dirty clothes from the rooms to take them to the laundry room...They did not mention who actually gets to do the laundry.

There were piles of dirty clothes in the girls' room, some random stuff here and there...Which by the way made me think: why do these people not collect dirty clothes somewhere instead of leaving them messily around waiting for a kid to collect them?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DuggarsTheEndIsNear
I think Mary felt sorry for all those kids because she knew firsthand what it's like trying to make ends meet and they had only two kids. I do see her as a rock in a hard place and she just goes along with their shtick.. I recall her saying when Joy Anna covered up the TV screen "That's what she' been trained to do". She used to wear pants but now wears mostly skirts.

I really don't think that any of her dealings with the family stemmed from "feeling sorry for the kids." If she felt sorry for them, she wouldn't have helped cover up the abuse from Josh and the probable abuses from their parents. No, I really think that Mary knows how to manipulate people, especially her son and daughter in law. I think she moved in with them to get benefits from the show/live off her son, and she chose laundry detail because people aren't going to complain about you living off them or overstaying your welcome if you're doing something that is truly useful to them.

It wouldn't surprise me if she's the one who orchestrated the show, whether she was the one who did the work herself or she got Jim Bob to do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DuggarsTheEndIsNear
Do we know for sure that she is still living in the house though?

In one of the lates episodes the kids were re-allocating "jurisdictions" in the absence of Jessa and Jill and Josie got to do the laundry.

I did not see Grandma anywhere...

Edited to add: actually Josie was just collecting the dirty clothes from the rooms to take them to the laundry room...They did not mention who actually gets to do the laundry.

There were piles of dirty clothes in the girls' room, some random stuff here and there...Which by the way made me think: why do these people not collect dirty clothes somewhere instead of leaving them messily around waiting for a kid to collect them?

One of two reasons:

1. They have a shit ton of kids and when do kids ever put anything where they belong without being explicitly reminded to do it every time?

2. It may have been staged. It is reality TV after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nic
Do we know for sure that she is still living in the house though?

In one of the lates episodes the kids were re-allocating "jurisdictions" in the absence of Jessa and Jill and Josie got to do the laundry.

I did not see Grandma anywhere...

Edited to add: actually Josie was just collecting the dirty clothes from the rooms to take them to the laundry room...They did not mention who actually gets to do the laundry.

There were piles of dirty clothes in the girls' room, some random stuff here and there...Which by the way made me think: why do these people not collect dirty clothes somewhere instead of leaving them messily around waiting for a kid to collect them?

You mean why don't they have hampers in their rooms? I have no idea if they are little piggies or it's cuter to watch Josie scurrying about looking for dirty socks etc like the worse Easter egg hunt than watch her unload a hamper.

The laundry job is too big for one person-- the loading is the easy part. The sorting and hanging etc... there's your time. Hence more people are needed. Also, I don't think Mary is the full-time laundress. I think when she's there and not out with her daughter etc she'll load and turn the machines on, but I suspect the girls role in laundry duty are downplayed for camera.

Bottom line is G'Ma Mary moved in, and they wanted to depict her contributing, but not too much... so laundry and occasional babysitting are what is said.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MatthewDuggar

Grandma Mary was also very prominent in the Famy specials and went on the big scary journey to Nashville with her and her mom. It was nice to see her outside of the TTH compound, but she was more involved with the Famy trainwreck than I was expecting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
calimojo

In the Digging in with the Duggars episode, Jinger talked about doing the laundry. I don't think Mary was there during that episode. So maybe Mary has retired from doing the laundry, or at least being the only one doing the laundry.

I have to disagree with Mary being the puppet master behind all of this. I think she was a strong woman, who did what she needed to do to provide for and raise her family. I think she was a hard worker, and diversified her income stream. It is possible she may have made some under the table deals, such as listed upthread and those may not have been exactly ethical.

I am certain she was a big support to JB when he was running for office and working in politics. No doubt her real estate and business ventures introduced her to many people and she may well have called in favors, and networked to help JB win. I think a lot of parents would do exactly that, if their son or daughter was running for office.

As far as the TV show, I have a hard time believing that she is mastermind behind all of that, or behind the transition to gothardism. I think she may have strong religious beliefs and may agree with much of it, but her obvious love for an acceptance of Amy and her mother, fly in the face of Gothard.

I never get the feeling that Mary and Michelle are very close, but then again, I don't really get the feeling that Michelle is genuinely close to anyone, other than perhaps JB. Mary seems very fond of Amy, and seems close to Amy's mom, Mary's daughter. I Don't think we have really been shown a lot of interactions between Mary and the Kids. I mean, she is often there in the background, but I don't recall seeing much in the way of time being spent with Mary and individual kids or small groups of the kids. I hope that this has happened but we just don't see it much in the shows.

Mary always impressed me as a "good sport". I remember her going on the skiing vacation and other trips and trying many things that some women her age would not have done. She seems pretty game to do things.

I don't think she is pushy, but she may certainly advise JB on business things or encourage him to do thing. I don't think this means she is the mastermind, but that is what many Mom's do. I still advise my adult kids on things. If I hear of an interesting Job possibility I let them know about it. If they decide not to do anything, I let it go.

I think Mary has stayed in the laundry room because she can do her own thing. She contributes and is helpful, but she is away from the howlers and little wild kids most of the time. The noise from the laundry room, probably drowns out the noise of screaming children, the thump thump of unsupervised toddlers tumbling down the grand staircase, and the general mayhem of that house.

I am not a Mary fan per se, I just don't giver her credit for being the brains behind the operation. What I do think, however, is that she is the one who raised JB. And we all know what he is.

Mary had 1 child who had a baby out of wedlock, which back then was probably a fairly big deal, she has another kid who joined a freakshow religious cult and irresponsibly raises his children. SO I would have to say that Mary doesn't really qualify for a mother of the year award either. (Note, I am not in anyway disparaging single parents by my first statement. I am just saying that culturally, with the conservative religious set, getting pregnant outside of marriage was and still may be viewed rather scandalously 25-30 years ago)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
twinmama

If Mary suggested the reality show and helped them get that, maybe she realized her stupid son wasn't going to stop impregnating his wife no matter what and eventually they would be unable to support a family that size. Even if he was good with the real estate and investing, they were still living a zillion people and growing in a tiny probably illegal by fire codes* house when the first special aired.

*Do homes have max capacities like restaurants??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Johanna25

*Do homes have max capacities like restaurants??

Restaurants are public accomodations and subject to occupancy regs. Your private home by and large is not. It has to be constructed in accordance with the local building codes, which include fire codes and exit paths etc. and there are usually local regs pertaining to maintenance and upkeep and health and safety, but you can usually stuff as many people into it as you want. Local laws can vary, of course. Some jurisdictions start worrying about parking, utilities, etc. when homes are stuffed with too many people.

Now rental housing is often subject to occupancy rules. There is usually a maximum of 2 persons per bedroom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nic
If Mary suggested the reality show and helped them get that, maybe she realized her stupid son wasn't going to stop impregnating his wife no matter what and eventually they would be unable to support a family that size. Even if he was good with the real estate and investing, they were still living a zillion people and growing in a tiny probably illegal by fire codes* house when the first special aired.

*Do homes have max capacities like restaurants??

I don't see Mary suggesting reality tv, but I see her advising JB to accept it when reality tv came a knockin'. I see her as an opportunist (not in a bad way) but I think she gets there is a Duggar brand, hence that why she wears the skirts on the show now. I can't imagine her taking too much of a push role with JB only bc she would step on Meechelle's feet. I don't see Meechelle liking anyone even thinking about coming near ol JB.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.