Reading this fundie blog gave me a headache- Profoundly Seth

[Chrystal-J]

Sorry if this blog's been covered. But, reading it literally gave me a headache.

profoundlyseth.com/2010/12/giving-your-all.html

This lady, Ellyn, is now divorced from a man who cheated on her while she was pregnant with their 5th child. He left her for the girlfriend when Ellyn was 3 months pregnant and didn't even show up for the birth of their 5th child. Later, they briefly got back together (just long enough for her to get pregnant again), then he left for good. The husband sounds like a complete ass. (But, the break-up of the marriage is all Ellyn's fault--according to Ellyn.) She would take him back "excitedly" if he should decide to return. She can't wait to work on their marriage!

Someone hand me an aspirin.

[slh12280]

Ugh another one of these stories. They make me too sad; hand me an aspirin too.

[Kitty]

Ugh. I have a headache too now. Anyone have anything other than aspirin? I'm allergic.

[Chrystal-J]

*Hands Kitty some Tylenol*

Oh, I forgot to add that when he told Ellyn that he was "in love with his best friend" (the new girlfriend) when Ellyn was 3 months pregnant--she became angry with this statement and threw her wedding ring in the parking lot. But, her husband was "so kind" as to find it and give it back to her. (That shows he's a loving person, according to Ellyn.)

[StarrieEyedKat]

I feel bad for this women, her self esteem must be horribly low to let herself be treated like that...

[Chrystal-J]

I know what you mean. It was awful to read what she was willing to put up with, just to hang on to her man. (And how much she misses that idiot.) Poor woman.

[NurseNell]

She has a photo of her stillborn son on the site. I can totally understand taking photos when you have a stillborn but to put them on a blog, never! In the past stillborns were never acknowledged or talked about, it was as if they were never born. I think this was very difficult on parents so I like that today you can have a funeral, put a notice in the paper, and hold your baby. But I think photos need to be kept private.

Nell

[Chrystal-J]

Yeah, I wouldn't of done the photos either. (Or if I did, I would of put them there by link.) That loss must of been horrible, but when I my husband died, the last thing I wanted to do was post pics of him deceased.

[Austin]

I don't want to weigh in on the stillborn photos, but the fundie named Emma that we discuss here, the one who adopted to Haitian children and abused them? Well, she posted a photo of her miscarriage on her blog. It didn't look anything like a baby whatsoever, as I think she was only three or so months along. She also showed it to her children and told them to pray that God would resurrect the baby. :shock:

[Chrystal-J]

I saw a pic like that on Facebook--totally freaked me out. It didn't look like a baby either. That resurrection thing? Sounds like when Tony Alamo made his followers pray over his wife's casket for months (for her resurrection). Months later, she was still in the coffin.

[Guest Anonymous]

My first thought upon reading this was that I bet she's friends with Kingdom Twindom. I went straight to her blogroll, and yep, sure enough, she is! I bet this one is ever so encouraged that Kingdom Twindom got her skeevster to come home. Why, why, WHY, do these women want their cheating, no-good husbands back so freaking badly?

Getting rid of mine was probably the best life choice I've ever made.

[treemom]

Yeah, I wouldn't of done the photos either. (Or if I did, I would of put them there by link.) That loss must of been horrible, but when I my husband died, the last thing I wanted to do was post pics of him deceased.

I didn't and I wouldn't..but I know lots of people who have. I wanted to feel like I had something that was mine and some people feel that they need to share to feel like everyone understands.

I can't fault her for the picture.

[Chrystal-J]

My first thought upon reading this was that I bet she's friends with Kingdom Twindom. I went straight to her blogroll, and yep, sure enough, she is! I bet this one is ever so encouraged that Kingdom Twindom got her skeevster to come home. Why, why, WHY, do these women want their cheating, no-good husbands back so freaking badly?

Getting rid of mine was probably the best life choice I've ever made.

Yeah, I don't get it either. I bet if these guys straightened up, the women would lose interest. They only want the "bad boy".

[Chrystal-J]

I didn't and I wouldn't..but I know lots of people who have. I wanted to feel like I had something that was mine and some people feel that they need to share to feel like everyone understands.

I can't fault her for the picture.

Oh, I know. I'm not faulting her for the picture, I'm just saying I wouldn't do it myself.

Actually, I feel sorry for this lady. She's lost a baby, her one child has major health issues and her husband's a fool (to put it mildly). Anything that can help her cope with that, I say do it.

Would be nice to see her with more self esteem in regards to the husband though.

[maybeizfundie]

Sad about her marriage and family situation.

Can't fault her for the stillborn picture. I don't know that I'd put one up on my blog. But I do know that the "Pretend it never happened" cultural attitude about infant loss (and miscarriage) is not something I consider a healthy thing to continue ad infinitum. If it's changing and people feel more open about their grief, good.

[FlorenceHamilton]

My parents are very judgemental about me. They see my failure to stay married as a "loss". I am not sure how using the word "loss" applies, but WE.

I am past 50, so my folks are quite elderly. They have reconnected with many people with whom they lost touch over the years. I realize that these self-professed liberals are total hypocrites. Many of the people that were lost from their lives were those who had marital difficulties. I am noticing two things. Those who remarried and have been married to the second spouse for a long time regain acceptance. Then there are couples who were apart for many many years and then reconnect in old age. The latter group are accepted as if nothing happened in between. It is very strange. I have even seen these people given 60th wedding anniverary parties.

Yet, those who remain happily single remain marginalized. Are happily single people a threat even in mainstream....liberal...society?

[NurseNell]

S

Can't fault her for the stillborn picture. I don't know that I'd put one up on my blog. But I do know that the "Pretend it never happened" cultural attitude about infant loss (and miscarriage) is not something I consider a healthy thing to continue ad infinitum. If it's changing and people feel more open about their grief, good.

I don't fault her the stillborn photos, I think I would do the same thing. I just think it's better to share such photos only with family and friends, not put on a blog. Yes, acknowledging infant loss is much healthier. I would give anything to have a photo of my sister Margaret. She died at 2 1/2 months of hydrocephaly, she never came home from the hospital and was in a nursing home. I was almost 3 when this happened. I never saw her, her name was never mentioned, and I still mourn her loss.

Nell

[ladypuglover]

My sister died at 3 days old due to a Dr's mistake, this was 7 years before I was born, so I like the rest of my siblings never knew her. Since my sister was so sick no one had taken her photo before she died. The hospital did a baby photo of her after her death and she would have looked like a normal newborn that was sleeping. My mother never thought of getting that photo and by the time she could remember that there was a photo of her baby it was to late, the photographer destroyed all photos older than 6 months old. She always wanted/regretted not having that photo.

I see nothing wrong with having a photo of your baby after it's death on a blog. We all grieve differently and this must be her way.