Dealing with Duggar Burnout

[j-rin]

I've been burnt out on just this train wreck. I've been hoping and just waiting for something to come out for a while so it wasn't a huge shock. I've been reading blogs of people who left the fundie life and looking into the underworkings of ATI and other programs. I'm sure my ip address is on there watch list by now.... though I'm being amused with others who blog as they have recently joined ATI or other families I have not heard of.

[1st wiccan fundie]

I think also it has to do with what a 180 this situation was from the way it was a couple of months or even weeks ago, when all we were talking about was Jill and Jessa getting married, the arrival of Izzy, Josiah's courtship, etc. The Duggars were more popular than they had ever been, because more of the young adults were finally starting to do things, other than go to the dentist or do odd jobs. But now, the show has been cancelled, probably for good, and the facade of the "wholesome Christian family" has finally been shattered. Now that the truth behind the "sin in the camp" has been revealed (although I think we only know the tip of the iceberg), we want a full accounting of what's really going on at the TTH, since the "reality" we've been sold for more than ten years is obviously a lie.

I don't have the time to check but I'm sure someone here posted a link to radar online. They have an article saying that the person who wrote the letter has an attorney and is potentially, prepping to come forward with more info. Some take thar site with a grain of salt. No idea if it's their report or another's that they're sharing. They have been accurate on a lot of other stuff through the years.

I don't think this story is close to being shut down for good. I think lots of details and otherwise unknown info is about to reach the surface, on the duggars, their views and lifestyle and of course the sexual crimes. Which....might give a positive end result afterall... to those who choose to accept it that is.

[Lazuli]

I dont come here during the week else I would never get any writing done but I check news sometimes. Im trying to stay away from 19K FB Duggar Family Blog and other humper sites as well.

I haven't been able to focus much on my writing at all. As a survivor, I've been very affected by this story.

I was involved in a campaign to get the show and the rumoured spinoff canceled because I don't want to see these people given a platform to defend their molester son/brother, or spew their anti-women/anti-LGBTQ vitriol anymore. I've had to step back for awhile. I need to focus on my novel, and not worry about things I can't control, like the fundies. It's hard, though. I feel bad for the victims in all of this, but I think their speaking on behalf of Josh has confused a lot of silent survivors out there who might still be in toxic situations. And I am worried about them, too.

I really need to stop trying to save the world and focus on my own little slice of it for awhile. haha

[RosyDaisy]

My husband is beginning to think I'm obsessed with the Duggars now.

[RosyDaisy]

I'm also dealing with guilt because I never believed the internet rumors. Even more so because I am a survivor of a sexual assault (not rape or incest). Does anybody else feel the same way or think that maybe we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss rumors of abuse in these fundie cults?

[MichellesCrunchyHair]

My husband is beginning to think I'm obsessed with the Duggars now.

Mine too :embarrassed:

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I'm also dealing with guilt because I never believed the internet rumors. Even more so because I am a survivor of a sexual assault (not rape or incest). Does anybody else feel the same way or think that maybe we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss rumors of abuse in these fundie cults?

I don't feel guilt about not believing them. Until someone actually pulled up the police reports, these rumors were unsubstantiated.

I never thought any of the kids who have gone through puberty were as pure and virginal as they claim to be, and I believed that the rumors came from Josh being discovered doing something less than pure -- like kissing or fondling with consent. And, since the rumors changed just about every time I heard them, I figured that they were just exaggerations or full on fabrications. Or, if the molestation part was true, I thought it was just some girl and refused to believe that the victims were his sisters. I mean, that's just sick.

[HarleyQuinn]

I'm not burned out. I can't stop reading this stuff, and I'm actually anticipating whatever else In Touch puts out there. Basically, I want the entire world to see them for what they really are.

[1st wiccan fundie]

I'm not burned out. I can't stop reading this stuff, and I'm actually anticipating whatever else In Touch puts out there. Basically, I want the entire world to see them for what they really are.

I can relate! It sure does tell you a lot about a person depending on their views on this, doesn't it? Provided they know the facts.

I said before how I think some of us need a resolution, a conclusion....an ending to this story that isn't just that the media moved on. And I still feel that way. But over the last few days I see some major progress concerning this. It's brought sexual assault in all forms straight to the front of the line. It's made people comment on it who otherwise wouldn't and allows us to see their true selves. It's made us question what's right, what isn't and so forth. It's also made a lot of people say I am not going to allow you to smear bullshit over our eyes and personally accept it. Even though it is very painful, it has triggered some to deal with their own past concerning the topic. And that will be positive in the end, though it's horrifically painful and requires bravery. I'm not saying everyone who has been triggered would find it to be that way but for some. It's raised so many questions about power,money,cults, hypocrisy, religion, abuse,femininism, and most importantly - what is a healthy psyche and what is not!?! What kinds of mistakes denote a unhealthy psychological person and which do not? As well as to each and various degrees. What sorts of things in one's past should be considered unsafe? What about forgiveness? Can you forgive without trusting? When does a victim voice their desires but their desires should not be granted for they are not well enough to decide on that?

I'm getting extremely deep and I could keep going. Bottom line is this is waking up a lot of people! So many dynamics at play here and it's bringing them all to the surface for us to work through. The Duggars have always said they pray for god to use them as a ministry. Well, to me that's what is happening here just no where near how they always envisioned it. By this being made public and all it's many,many components and sub subjects.... it's forcing some,giving opportunities to others to think and that can be a catalyst for something so much bigger! This can bring change in a positive direction. For all of us who wanted the duggars exposed for so many years...this is exposing the much bigger movement behind them and all it entails. I wish it weren't done in this manner. But since it already has I can see the bright side and the only thing these people may of been right about all along is god very well may be working through them!

[SassyPants]

I want to see them go into the woodwork and never come out again. No TV show, no books, no publicity of any kind.

Just fade away, as they should, from view. They aren't worth listening to or watching, not even for the snark now. Just too damaged.

I'll go one further.

People have asked when the IGs are going to start, if Jessa is going to post bump photos, if we'll know when M-4 arrives or if a special will be done on S-1's arrival...I don't care. I don't care if I never hear one word or see one more photo of the family ever again, unless they get help and break free of the cult. Right now they are a broken, dysfunction, caustic unit...they do not deserve a platform or any more hosts to infect.

TLC- shut it down.

[VelociRapture]

I'll go one further.

People have asked when the IGs are going to start, if Jessa is going to post bump photos, if we'll know when M-4 arrives or if a special will be done on S-1's arrival...I don't care. I don't care if I never hear one word or see one more photo of the family ever again, unless they get help and break free of the cult. Right now they are a broken, dysfunction, caustic unit...they do not deserve a platform or any more hosts to infect.

TLC- shut it down.

I admit to being curious. However, I agree completely with you. They are broken and dysfunctional and don't deserve a national platform to spew their toxic views. They also, in my opinion, need time to privately deal with whats happening - I doubt they will or that they'll deal with it in a productive manner.

But yeah, TLC absolutely needs to shut the show down completely. No more 19 Kids and Counting. No more talk about spinoffs. No more special episodes. Drop them like a hot potato!

[SassyPants]

I admit to being curious. However, I agree completely with you. They are broken and dysfunctional and don't deserve a national platform to spew their toxic views. They also, in my opinion, need time to privately deal with whats happening - I doubt they will or that they'll deal with it in a productive manner.

But yeah, TLC absolutely needs to shut the show down completely. No more 19 Kids and Counting. No more talk about spinoffs. No more special episodes. Drop them like a hot potato!

They cannot quietly heal and move forward if they remain on TV and in the public eye.

Without the TV show, they do not have the fame, notoriety or money to affect the political landscape or speaking circuits.

No show allows a better opportunity for the adult kids to move forward and on with their own individual lives...and a chance to decide for themselves whether or not they choose to stay in Gothardism.

The show is ultimately destructive.

The show needs to go...for their sakes and for the Public's sake.

[jacduggar]

I admit to being curious. However, I agree completely with you. They are broken and dysfunctional and don't deserve a national platform to spew their toxic views. They also, in my opinion, need time to privately deal with whats happening - I doubt they will or that they'll deal with it in a productive manner.

But yeah, TLC absolutely needs to shut the show down completely. No more 19 Kids and Counting. No more talk about spinoffs. No more special episodes. Drop them like a hot potato!

I really think that TLC knows they can't have the show anymore. I think they knew from the minute the bomb was dropped, but even more so with sponsors pulling out and everyone crying outrage. There are a lot more people totally disgusted then there are leghumpers. There's also a lot of people who barely cared before, that care even less now. I think TLC is waiting for the heat to simmer then they will quietly announce that the show is done. 19KAC isn't in production so they're taking their time, most likely trying to figure out how to fill up the void that is now open, so they can focus their efforts on pimping some new show to keep viewers interested/excited. I'm guessing we are about to see a fundie lite family slide in, one that let's their daughters wear pants and let's their kids hold hands while dating but still very void of free will and critical thinking.

Also, I don't think they'll do a spin off at all. Even leghumpers know that the appeal of those "married girls" is their creepy family. Take out the big family and you have what? Two stay at home mom's just living life in skirts and being close-minded and intolerant. I bet a spin off wouldn't even end up getting a full season, they'd wrap after 8 episodes.

[SassyPants]

I think even 8 episodes would be a s-t-r-e-t-c-h-.

[FloraKitty35]

I can relate! It sure does tell you a lot about a person depending on their views on this, doesn't it? Provided they know the facts.

I said before how I think some of us need a resolution, a conclusion....an ending to this story that isn't just that the media moved on. And I still feel that way. But over the last few days I see some major progress concerning this. It's brought sexual assault in all forms straight to the front of the line. It's made people comment on it who otherwise wouldn't and allows us to see their true selves. It's made us question what's right, what isn't and so forth. It's also made a lot of people say I am not going to allow you to smear bullshit over our eyes and personally accept it. Even though it is very painful, it has triggered some to deal with their own past concerning the topic. And that will be positive in the end, though it's horrifically painful and requires bravery. I'm not saying everyone who has been triggered would find it to be that way but for some. It's raised so many questions about power,money,cults, hypocrisy, religion, abuse,femininism, and most importantly - what is a healthy psyche and what is not!?! What kinds of mistakes denote a unhealthy psychological person and which do not? As well as to each and various degrees. What sorts of things in one's past should be considered unsafe? What about forgiveness? Can you forgive without trusting? When does a victim voice their desires but their desires should not be granted for they are not well enough to decide on that?

I'm getting extremely deep and I could keep going. Bottom line is this is waking up a lot of people! So many dynamics at play here and it's bringing them all to the surface for us to work through. The Duggars have always said they pray for god to use them as a ministry. Well, to me that's what is happening here just no where near how they always envisioned it. By this being made public and all it's many,many components and sub subjects.... it's forcing some,giving opportunities to others to think and that can be a catalyst for something so much bigger! This can bring change in a positive direction. For all of us who wanted the duggars exposed for so many years...this is exposing the much bigger movement behind them and all it entails. I wish it weren't done in this manner. But since it already has I can see the bright side and the only thing these people may of been right about all along is god very well may be working through them!

I am not burned out either. I would love to see the movement behind them brought down to a degree that even Fox News wouldn't give them the time of day.

[RosyDaisy]

My husband has now changed his mind. I told him bout their gay-bashing and Michelle's robo calls. That really hit a nerve with him. His sister is a lesbian (my SIL and friend).

[formergothardite]

I have a tendency to enjoy the 'happy wholesome family' reality TV shows until some sort of scandal is uncovered, at which point I get disillusioned and start to lose interest... I am afraid this will happen with the Duggars. Luckily, the new season of Bringing up Bates has just started... phew...

Are you being serious with this post? It is hard to tell sometimes online.

If you aren't being serious and really aren't looking forward to watching the Bates, ignore the rest of my post.

It makes me so :angry-banghead: that it takes something as bad as a five year old being molested for people to get disillusioned with these "happy wholesome families". If one thing could have been learned from the Josh scandal I wish it would be that the awful ATI/IBLP create the perfect environment for abuse to thrive. The belief system is abusive. And this is what the Bates believe. This is how they model their lifestyle. And on top of all that Gil Fucking Bates helped protect Bill Gothard. It shouldn't have to be revealed that they let small children be molested for people to realize that the Bates are one fucked up family with fucked up beliefs. How they live their life isn't harmless. It is dangerous. This isn't a happy wholesome family. These are high ranking cult members in a dangerous and abusive cult. They shouldn't be treated as entertainment.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I have Duggar burnout (though less so during the week when I get bored than during the weekend when I have things to do). That doesn't mean I don't want the Duggars to be pronounced as the hypocrites they are or that they become so reviled even the humpiest of leghumpers leaves the leg. It just means that I personally have reached a point where I can't deal with them. Lol