Nancy Leigh Demoss is engaged

[GenerationCedarchip]

Thanks for this information. Does the guy she is getting married to have kids.

I know I've heard of this guy from my old church circles and IIRC, he has 2 or 3 grown kids.

[Jana814]

I know I've heard of this guy from my old church circles and IIRC, he has 2 or 3 grown kids.

Thanks for the info!

[salex]

As I get older, my parents and my in-laws have friends who have remarried very soon after being widowed.... and not all of them were religious or fundie That said, their adult children have been all over the board on it. My mother told us "if anything happens to me and your dad remarries, be nice" because of some horror stories her friends, male and female, have told her.

I have seen people remarry within a couple of months and others take a long time, and even sometimes when they take years, the adult offspring are still unhappy about the remarriage.

I think it will be interesting to see what this marriage expert learns about marriage once she has experienced it!

[hoipolloi]

As I get older, my parents and my in-laws have friends who have remarried very soon after being widowed.... and not all of them were religious or fundie That said, their adult children have been all over the board on it. My mother told us "if anything happens to me and your dad remarries, be nice" because of some horror stories her friends, male and female, have told her.

I have seen people remarry within a couple of months and others take a long time, and even sometimes when they take years, the adult offspring are still unhappy about the remarriage.

I think it will be interesting to see what this marriage expert learns about marriage once she has experienced it!

Re: bolded. Same here and I don't know that religion has a lot to do with it either way.

On the other hand, significant factors in a parent's remarriage can be property & inheritance and to what extent, if any, the new spouse (and offspring) will benefit.

[Burris]

I've made known my feelings about Nancy Leigh DeMoss before.

I wish her all the best, however; it's not every day a woman in her late 50s marries for the first time. Marriage was one of the happiest things I ever did, and I hope the same for DeMoss. (It also leaves at least a little hope for Anna Maxwell.)

[Burris]

In John Piper's letter of congratulations, he finishes with this...exceptionally odd comment: "Strap her in well, Robert. This may be the flight of your life."

Even within the context of his clumsy hang-gliding metaphor, the above makes no real sense. In fact, it's a bit creepy.

ETA: While other married couples who are friends of DeMoss congratulated her together, Piper appeared alone. Read through the list. What an oddity.

[LucySnowe]

I've made known my feelings about Nancy Leigh DeMoss before.

I wish her all the best, however; it's not every day a woman in her late 50s marries for the first time. Marriage was one of the happiest things I ever did, and I hope the same for DeMoss. (It also leaves at least a little hope for Anna Maxwell.)

Hell, it leaves hope for SARAH Maxwell, who's a veritable babe in the wood in comparison!

I married on the far side of forty and I'm definitely a much happier person because of it. Thankfully, the same is true for my husband. :D

I just find it bizarre that an unmarried woman became such a beacon of advice on marriage, within a culture where marriage is what women DO. Her very existence as a single woman with a career is the antithesis of all that.

I've only been married a few years so I'm hardly an expert, but if someone 15 years older with zero experience started telling me how to improve my marriage, I'd be giving her some major side-eye.

[DomWackTroll]

Google "nancy leigh demoss wives keepers at home" and the quotes are endless. Endless. But if anyone thinks that Nancy Leigh Demoss is going to give up her lucrative career and be a "keeper at home" from now on, well... it's laughable. It's not going to happen. And does anyone really believe her husband wants it to happen? He's an agent, FGS.

I'm sure her excuse will be that she's beyond childbearing years, but in that case-- according to her own argument against gay marriage-- she should have stayed single.

[Burris]

Google "nancy leigh demoss wives keepers at home" and the quotes are endless. Endless. But if anyone thinks that Nancy Leigh Demoss is going to give up her lucrative career and be a "keeper at home" from now on, well... it's laughable. It's not going to happen. And does anyone really believe her husband wants it to happen? He's an agent, FGS.

I'm sure her excuse will be that she's beyond childbearing years, but in that case-- according to her own argument against gay marriage-- she should have stayed single.

NDM is in her late 50s. I suspect she is considering what it might be like to slow down on the work-related travel and actually keep house. (I doubt she'll do much of the dirty work herself; the Bible does allow for servants, after all.)

If her husband really is a good guy, the two of them being the ages they are, and having the financial security they do, could spend the next 25 years just enjoying themselves.

[hoipolloi]

In John Piper's letter of congratulations, he finishes with this...exceptionally odd comment: "Strap her in well, Robert. This may be the flight of your life."

Even within the context of his clumsy hang-gliding metaphor, the above makes no real sense. In fact, it's a bit creepy.

ETA: While other married couples who are friends of DeMoss congratulated her together, Piper appeared alone. Read through the list. What an oddity.

Wonder if Piper is having marital issues again?

From 2010 (desiringgod.org/articles/john-pipers-upcoming-leave):

As you may have already heard in the sermon from March 27–28, the elders graciously approved on March 22 a leave of absence that will take me away from Bethlehem from May 1 through December 31, 2010. We thought it might be helpful to put an explanation in a letter to go along with the sermon.

I asked the elders to consider this leave because of a growing sense that my soul, my marriage, my family, and my ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit. On the one hand, I love my Lord, my wife, my five children and their families first and foremost; and I love my work of preaching and writing and leading Bethlehem. I hope the Lord gives me at least five more years as the pastor for preaching and vision at Bethlehem.

But on the other hand, I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry. Since I don’t have just one deed to point to, I simply ask for a spirit of forgiveness; and I give you as much assurance as I can that I am not making peace, but war, with my own sins.

Noël and I are rock solid in our commitment to each other, and there is no whiff of unfaithfulness on either side. But, as I told the elders, “rock solid†is not always an emotionally satisfying metaphor, especially to a woman. A rock is not the best image of a woman’s tender companion. In other words, the precious garden of my home needs tending. I want to say to Noël that she is precious to me in a way that, at this point in our 41-year pilgrimage, can be said best by stepping back for a season from virtually all public commitments.

[DomWackTroll]

NDM is in her late 50s. I suspect she is considering what it might be like to slow down on the work-related travel and actually keep house. (I doubt she'll do much of the dirty work herself; the Bible does allow for servants, after all.)

If her husband really is a good guy, the two of them being the ages they are, and having the financial security they do, could spend the next 25 years just enjoying themselves.

Perhaps I'm wrong, Burris. But for all these years/decades, she has been so ambitious and hard-charging and... well, everything she told other women to not be. I guess we'll see.

[salex]

Re: bolded. Same here and I don't know that religion has a lot to do with it either way.

On the other hand, significant factors in a parent's remarriage can be property & inheritance and to what extent, if any, the new spouse (and offspring) will benefit.

Yes to this, but a lot of the people we know who have that as a concern have prenups in place (including, maybe especially, the farmers we know) before the second marriage.

It may not always be a smart move, but some people simply can't stand to be alone when they have always had a partner.

[Burris]

Perhaps I'm wrong, Burris. But for all these years/decades, she has been so ambitious and hard-charging and... well, everything she told other women to not be. I guess we'll see.

I think part of her attitude is the result of this verse:

"... And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." -- 1 Corinthians 7:34

NLD actually referenced this verse, though obliquely, when she spoke of how her undivided attention to ministry would need to end were she to wed.

She had long since accepted she would likely never marry - and I think on some level that hurt. Close companionship is of high value, and she saw it as a sacrifice to be celibate and single. She said as much when she offered the following as her life verse: "And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to your word..." -- Luke 1:38 (Keep in mind Mary was in a dangerous and entirely unenviable position.)

I have no doubt NLD is competent and decisive; I expect, however, that she is also a true believer who is already looking for ways to turn those assets - the strengths she used in developing a highly successful business - into ways to serve the interests of her husband.

It also sounds as if her husband-to-be understands she cares a lot about her ministry and supports her continued operation of it.

On a related note, considering the events the lead up to the marriage announcement, I honestly see nothing improper about it. Everyone is older; there are no minor children to consider. The three of them not only knew each other but it sounds as if they came to an arrangement the brought them all a sense of peace during a difficult time.

[GenerationCedarchip]

I think part of her attitude is the result of this verse:

"... And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." -- 1 Corinthians 7:34

NLD actually referenced this verse, though obliquely, when she spoke of how her undivided attention to ministry would need to end were she to wed.

She had long since accepted she would likely never marry - and I think on some level that hurt. Close companionship is of high value, and she saw it as a sacrifice to be celibate and single. She said as much when she offered the following as her life verse: "And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to your word..." -- Luke 1:38 (Keep in mind Mary was in a dangerous and entirely unenviable position.)

I have no doubt NLD is competent and decisive; I expect, however, that she is also a true believer who is already looking for ways to turn those assets - the strengths she used in developing a highly successful business - into ways to serve the interests of her husband.

It also sounds as if her husband-to-be understands she cares a lot about her ministry and supports her continued operation of it.

On a related note, considering the events the lead up to the marriage announcement, I honestly see nothing improper about it. Everyone is older; there are no minor children to consider. The three of them not only knew each other but it sounds as if they came to an arrangement the brought them all a sense of peace during a difficult time.

Re: the bolded part - I totally believe this, too. It's hard to explain to those who haven't run in fundie/fundie-lite circles, but there are ways for single women to build a strong ministry and be respected for it. NLD has done it and if the Botkinettes spent more time in the public eye, I suspect they could probably gain a much larger following, too. However, being married to a successful man and helping him to further his interests is still seen as the ultimate success story for women in most corners of fundie.

I know on this board we talk a lot about how oppressed the women are, but many women raised in that world actually embrace the very traditional view of their role and I can see NLD thinking that way, too. And frankly, of the women I knew in fundie-dom who agreed with that way of doing things, more than a few had ways of wielding power and influence behind the scenes.